winter

Amelia, so sorry for the loss of your mom. I was 20 when my mom passed, know how you're feeling! Will be thinking of you and sending you big cyber hugs! As the others have said, do talk to your GP about being scanned. My neurologist said my kids (26 & 24) should be scanned to be on the safe side. I'm sure this is a scary time for you and hope you get some answers as to the best steps you should take. Take care, love, and do come here often for any support you may need. That's what we're here for. With love, carolyn

Rhiann - Sorry to hear you've not been feeling well lately Glad to hear, though, that you are seeing your dr. to rule out any problems. And yeah, I think we all tend to feel a bit off, whether it's dizziness, headaches, etc... with the weather changes. Hope you get to feeling better soon and get some answers from your dr. Take care and get some rest. Please keep us posted as to how you're gtting along. Hug coming your way, Carolyn

Kelvin - So glad to hear things are going so well. Congratulations to your son!!! Hope things continue in the upward spiral Whatever you're doing - it's great!!! Have a wonderful week - hugs to you and your family Carolyn

Hi Sam! Welcome to BTG - glad you found us here and thank you for sharing your story. So glad to hear you are doing so well! That's always encouraging to everyone!!! Yes, we are the luck ones! Any help toward awareness is great!!! Hope to hear more from you. Carolyn

SandiK and Donnamarie - Hi ladies! I'm so glad you're here. I understand the depression, anxiety and the deluge of tears. Shortly after I was released from the hospital, there was a special on tv - Hope for Haitii. Toward the end, Justin Timberlake sang Halleluja. I began to cry (for the 1st time since the SAH) and continued crying for 1/2 hr.! Then I cried for several months - off and on, anything could set me off. I think in the early days and months I was coming to terms with what had happened to me and my family. I almost died - all of us almost died! We've all gone through a traumatic event in our lives and it is a huge deal. I thought I would pop right back into life, same as before. I'm usually a happy, optimistic person too. This SAH thing seems to kick us all down! For the longest time, I continued to carry on as usual (back at work 7weeks after). It was just too much and my depression and anxiety really took a hold on me. I had been reading posts on BTG for several months before I finally joined in. I was at such a low point and felt I had nowhere to turn. This is definitely the place to come!!! We've all been there and know how you feel. I'm still working on accepting the "new" me. Still cry a lot, get depressed, have panic attacks and get tired. At one year now, I can look back and I see the huge improvements that have come. I've had help with counseling, medications, and good friends here at BTG. I know you've heard it before, you are in early days still. Give yourself some time and rest and know that it does and WILL get better!!! It is a process and sometimes it's scary and lonely. But you will get through it. The fact that we're alive is proof of that Please pm me if you want a chat, either of you! I spend quite a bit of time on the computer these days Hang in there, you're doing the best you can and it's good enough! With love, Carolyn

Hi Zoe! Good to hear from you, thanks for the updates. Sounds as if things have been going well for the past month. You're a trooper-glad you've got some help. As for upcoming surgery...we will all be sending good thoughts and prayers your way!!! Hang in there sweetie! With love, Carolyn

Loved this! They say music can soothe the savage beast - I've been a bit of a beast, myself, today!!! Turning on the music

Good advice! Think I wil do just that today They say music soothes the savage beast (I'm feeling rather beastly today) so will put something on right now!!! Carolyn

Karen, Sorry to hear this. I'm sure it's been a scary time for you and certainly unexpected event in the recovery process. Hopefully the meds will help and you won't have another seizure. I'm sure the dr.s will do everything they can to help you with this. Set backs with our health can be frustrating and upsetting. Please know you are in my thoughts and I'm sending you big hugs and wishing you well! Hang in there sweetie - we're all here for you. Carolyn

I get the whooshing sound occasionally still. Also can hear, feel heart beating-pulsations at times. For me, it is when I'm feeling anxious or having trouble sleeping. And yes, I feel a heightened awareness of physical things and anxiety kicks in. It's hard to differentiate at times whether it's anxiety or something that might need medical attention. I think this must be normal reaction for many of us. Hopefully as time goes on, the anxiety will lessen!!! Anti-anxiety meds have helped me with this, when I take them on regular basis.

First I've seen this thread as well, Jen. I've been wondering about factors leading up to SAHs. Here's my info: 48 yr. old female, smoked since I was 14 - not when pregnant and have quit several other times, only to start again I have suffered from depression since I was a teenager and had been diagnosed w/clinical depression in early 30s. Depression under control with medication - for years. I drink occasionally. Several years prior to SAH, lost 20 lbs. and walking 3 miles a day. Enjoyed time out with friends, loved theater and concerts, people person. I have always tried to keep a positive attitude. Had worked for same company for 10 yrs as massage therapist, last few years as supervisor. Great co-workers, but owner of company - very horrible person, which caused underlying stress and tension in all offices. Have always had a lot of stress in my life, but thought I was dealing with it pretty well - lol! About 2 yrs. prior to SAH, I had strange physical thing happen. Suddenly got congested, lips tingling and tight chest. Then felt bizarre, electrical heat feeling that started at top of head, went down neck, into chest and both arms, then continued down center of body and out! Head felt tight. Felt frightened as didn't know what was happening. Only lasted a few minutes, but was pretty freaked out! Talked to my Dr. about it next day and was told if it happened again, to go to emergency room. Several months later, it occured again and I went to ER. BP was fine, oxygen and respirations low, blood work fine. No scans done, no heart attack, etc... ER doc. said I was probably having a hot flash!!! Right... discussed w/my primary doc, he suggested anxiety attack? Anyway, I personally think this was the beginning of something happening in brain! Several weeks prior to Jan 27th, 2010, I had several days of headaches and expreme neck pain, and not feeling well. Minutes before the SAH, I had become EXTREMELY angry w/a patient who was behaving in a very inappropriate way. I was ranting and raving in the break room about situation and was furious w/this man and that I, as supervisor, was going to have to deal with him! I felt I was going to explode - and within 15 minutes, my brain let go and blew the fuse!!! Sorry I've gone on so long with this! Needless to say, as I'm only a few days from my 1st year anni-versary, I'm feeling thankful to be alive and anxious at the same time. I'm now on several different anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds, and not back to the old me, yet. I am not as confident as I used to be, don't go to events where there will be too many people, somewhat agorophobic, startle easily, unable to physically do massages, have gained weight and yes, feel quite stressed still. Eek! Doesn't sound to good does it Currently unemployed, no health insurance, lack motivation - but I keep going. I know eventually these things will change and life will be better. I know I've made great progress since 1/27/10 and I expect it to continue. I do believe stress plays a huge role in how are bodies work, or stop working properly!

Hi Rog, glad you found us! What an ordeal you've both been through! Scary is an understatement, right?! I think your wife was very luck you found her when you did and got immediate medical attention. Glad to hear she's home and appears to be doing well. Hope her recovery continues that way. I know it must be very frightening for you. I was in ICU for 10 days and then moved to regular ward for 2. My daughter and partner were terrified when I came home - I was too. I was on the nimodipine for a month following my release. I had trouble taking it as prescribed, as well, my bp would go too low sometimes - and this scared us all. The neurosurgeon told us the first 10-12 days are when vasospasms usually occur. Obviously, we can't give medical advice here, but do check w/your wife's dr.s regarding any questions you might have as to meds, reactions, etc... She is lucky to have you there to care for her. I know it's difficult - my daughter dropped her college courses, moved back home so she could be here 24/7. I think in many ways it was harder on her and my partner than me. While I slept so much of the time, my daughter would wake me just to make sure I was still here! My partner was so overwhelmed, he was unable to do much of anything but go to work!!! Hang in there buddy, we're here for you and your wife too. Hope to hear more from you as to her progress, and how you're getting on with everything. Much love to you both, carolyn

No 3-D movies for me either!!! Regular movies are tolerable, but the sound is always too loud for me and I've found my eyes are quite tired afterward. I love the movies but have found I tend to wait 'til they're out for rent and enjoy them in my home. I've gone to 2 different stage productions, which I always love - enjoyable, but again - volume level is too much for me still. I can handle outdoor concerts - as the sound is dispersed differently. Like Lynn, I don't do well w/crowds anymore either. Just have to find the right venue at times fewer people are there. Even grocery stores - if there are too many people, I will shop at an odd time to avoid crowds! We just have to find what works best for us so we can enjoy life as much as possible

I think everything in our bodies goes through some kind of confusion after SAH. I didn't have a period for 3 months after SAH. I was 47 and thought, yay - maybe I'm going into full blown menopause. No such luck! I experience deeper levels of depression, anxiety, anger a week prior to. Then I am completely exhausted during. I did have hormone and blood levels checked about 4 months ago. Hormones normal. Deficient in B12 and vit. D, so taking supplements to correct that.

Good morning. Glad you've posted agian! I also had the strange head feelings, and it was worrisome. I had a continuous mushy (?) feeling at the back of my head, for months, along with constant headaches and frequent migraines. Many times felt disoriented, little pinpoint pains in certain areas of head, extreme fatigue, depression and anxiety. I am happy to say that after almost 12 months, most of these weird feelings have subsided. The headaches are few and far between, fatigue is soooooooooooo much better. I am on medictions for depression and anxiety, which has also been a huge help. I do still get strange head feelings and some fatigue - I find these things occur when I'm tired, feeling stressed, or have overdone with physical things. I'm still learning how much is too much! It's a process. I am so thankful that I have very few, minor defecits. It has still been a struggle, as friends and family think I am 100%. I have to remind them at times, that I am not feeling so well, need to rest, etc... Most of the time they get it, family anyway. Friends - a bit harder. Even Dr.s don't really get it. Very few medical professionals have actually had patients who've had brain bleeds and aren't always up to date on everything. Guess it's up to us to educate them as to what we're experiencing and that most of us are having many of the same symptoms and after effects! Hang in there and know you can come here for help and support in many ways. Hope all of our responses put you at ease a bit. Of course, do keep in contact with your doctor and keep them informed of what's happening with you. And don't hesitate to see your dr. if you feel something is just not right! Take care sweetie - get some good rest today and be kind to yourself Carolyn

Hi Sandi! Glad you found us - it has helped me immensely over the last year. as the others have already said, take it easy and at your own pace. We do have control over how much we do....it is just sometimes hard to know what we're capable of handling until we've tried, and then sometimes find it has been too much. Get as much rest as you can and do drink plenty of water. Look forward to hearing from you. Take care, Carolyn

Hey, we must have been typing at the same time. If you feel that your work is just too much right now (which to me, sounds as it is!) tell your Dr. that it is too much for you right now. Ask your doc how much experience he's had with patients who've had SAHs! Most have had none! And may not have the knowledge needed to advise as to whether you should be back at work. Your brain and body need A LOT of time to heal! Going back to work full time can really set you back if your body's not ready. I went back to work, part time, after 7 weeks. Was shattered each day and slept for hours when I got home. Unable to do much else beyond sleeping. Please be careful and listen to your body and do talk to your doctor. Maybe suggest he join this site so he can become more aware of what survivors' lives are really like post SAH! Couldn't hurt. Get some rest today if you can!!!

Hi MMPenny Good to have you here at BTG. Glad you found us. You'll find a world of information, support and friendship here. I'm coming up on my 1 year anniversary of my SAH and have to say I have improved SOOOOOOOOOO much, and BTG has been my biggest help. Look forward to hearing from you again! Sending you healing energy and hugs Carolyn

Hi Pete and welcome to BTG! Glad you found us - this is a most helpful site for information, support, and friendship. I too, received no after care, pamphlets, nothing. Other than being told to drink lots of water and get plenty of rest, I was on my own as far as finding information and support. It is amazing to me that so many hospitals have such little help for us afterward. We've all been through it here, so please feel free to ask any questions, complain and rant, whatever you need. We're here for you! Hope to hear more from you. Do take care, Carolyn

Hi Karen - As Lynn, Jen and others have said, our recoveries are all varied as we have made or not made the journey back into employment. I was out of work for almost 7 weeks after SAH. My neurologist told me I could go back and to "feel it out", phased in return if possible. Even though I felt unsure about it all, I was looking forward to things getting back to "normal". At first I went in a few days a week, for a few hours at a time. I'm a massage therapist and it's quite a physical job. I would go home completely exhausted and sleep for hours. Headaches were constant and worse in severity. Emotions ran high. I continued (against my body's warnings) to increase my hours until I was eventually working 6 - 8 hours a day! I was completely shattered and could do nothing much but sleep when I got home. Weekends were also for sleeping only!!! I was in denial. I continued with this for several months, becoming more and more depressed and less motivated. Tried lots of different meds. The receptionist at our office was fired and I took on that position, with fewer hours. My headaches soon became less severe and less frequent. Although I felt a bit better physically, the multitasking that was required was quite difficult on the old noggin. More depression and lack of motivation - still wasn't back to the "normal" me. I've recently been laid off and am now looking for new employment. I know that I am capable of being productive in a work setting, but also know I will continue to have memory glitches, get tired and frustrated at times, but will continue to keep going. I have to have something to look forward to and need to feel useful. I do know that I will succeed in some manner, but looking to find something less stressful and in a positive environment. My health is the most important thing and I must always keep that in mind. Whatever you decide to do, remember to keep YOU first and foremost. If you don't feel ready, don't do it! Listen to your body and brain and do what feels right for you! Hope to hear more from you here, at BTG. Wonderful people here with lots of encouragement and support to share! Take care, Carolyn

Hi Bay. In the earlier days, I did have pain behind my eyes and also left side of face down to cheek and jaw. I still get blurry vision occasionally, after I've been using eyes a lot - driving, reading, any thing that requires a lot of concentration. Had my eyes checked w/opthamologist and he says everything looks good. Optic nerves are fine. So just stress and multitasking is tiring on my eyes. I do get floaters often, which can be annoying. Always good to get your eyes checked after what you've been through! Good luck to you Carolyn

Hi Brenda! I know, too, how anxious you are feeling. Many of us have been there and gotten through it with flying colors I was anxious prior to, and then got to the hospital (same one I had been in w/SAH). Felt very strange going down the same halls. I (like Kelly) remembered many of the same faces from before. Everyone was very reassuring, and kind. The nurse who prepped me in the OR, was the same nurse from before. She was wonderful. I was under a twilight aenesthesia and began to come around as they were placing the angioseal. Felt a bit of pressure and that was it. Got there at 8:30, procedure at 9:00, in recovery about 2 1/2 hrs. and was back home by noon! Had headache, and just slept and rested for the day. Hope this eases your mind a bit. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers Carolyn

Many thanks to Admin and moderators who keep this site running!!! Happy New Year to everyone - may the new year bring peace, love, happiness, and great health!!! Love to all, Carolyn

Hi Dawn. Welcome to BTG! I agree with what all the others have said here. I'm almost 11 months on and just the past couple months have really noticed big improvements (kind of like Jen and hitting that 9 mo. mark) I still have my moments with fatigue and headaches, and short term memory problems - but they occur much less frequently now. Hang in there sweetie and do get on this site for questions, concerns and chatting. We're all here to support one another:biggrin: It truly does help. Sending you good energy and seeing you well, Carolyn

Hi Rhiann - I had all kind of aches and pains in the early days. Horrible pain in midback and down through my legs. That lasted almost a month. Was told the blood from the initial bleed has no where to go and gets reabsorbed through the spinal cord and can cause a lot of pain for a while. Think it's pretty common. Didn't have chest pain. Have had pain like you're talking of in forehead and cheekbone area down to jaw. Trigeminal nerve irritation for me. So many things happen our bodies after a SAH - sometimes I wonder if the Dr.s even know all the affects that take place! Hang in there and get lots of rest and Tons of water. Hope you're feeling better soon.