ClareM

Each day does get better Irene and you will learn to take the rough with the smooth. I reckon I'm nearly 95% now don't think I will ever get to 100% but that's fine by me. Good luck with your future scans and keep popping back , this is a good place to come. Clare xx

Hi Jan I returned to my previous employment 3 months after my nasah. I returned on a very long phased basis and eventually cut my hours down having Wednesdays off. However at the start of this year I decided to change my job from working in community pharmacy to working in an NHS hospital pharmacy. It is a lot less stressful but the transition has not been easy. My neuro-psychologist recently told me that I certainly had not made life easy for myself! I'm making good progress now and love my 4 day week, however like Gemma I wouldn't rule out reducing even more in the future. Being off work for 3 months last year made me appreciate being at home more and all the things I could do with my time. Good luck with your appointments and future work ventures. Clare xx

Hi Dory Welcome to BTG the survivors club. Yes it may seem a pain that everyone keeps telling you that you are lucky you survived but in time you will appreciate that sentiment. We ARE lucky, we ARE the survivors. And white stick or not and driving licence or not you are here and surely that is a better place to be than the alternative. I travelled in the May after my sah in February, no problms except fatigue. 18 months down the line and I still suffer fatigue and extremely annoying memory deficits but other than that just a huge sigh of relief that I DID survive Looking forward to hearing more from you. And as for cigarettes, I loved nothing more, gave up 2 years before my 'event' and LOVE the money I now have (though I'd love a cigarette ). Just don't do it! Clare xx

Happy anni-versary Claudette You have done so well over this year, be proud and celebrate with your holiday. Clare xx

Hi Gemma, Glad to hear you have completed your phased return - even better that you now have the summer off! I am sure you will come to love your Wednesdays as much as I do. I can't imagine working a 5 day week now and actually don't really think I could. I am still floored by 2 days work so make sure you spend your Wednesday wisely. I go to a class at the gym first thing then spend the rest of the day just 'pottering'. I find if I do too much I am not much good for the Thursday and Friday at work. Enjoy the summer, let's hope the sun shines! Clare xx

Hi Trace Welcome to BTG, six years that's a lot of time stalking! Like you I feel lucky to have walked away from my nasah with no major deficits but find it very difficult trying to explain to people how my life has changed. Its almost as if they are thinking OK you are 18 months on, look well, work ok and exercise so what are you complaining about? Memory? Well we are all getting older and memory goes with age.But my memory is different now and I dont think it would deteriorated that much in 18 months just through ageing. I too suffer from fatigue and the weird head if things are getting too much, pressure and neck-ache. I find a couple of paracetamol usually help. Codeine based products are notoriously addictive so it may be worth having a chat with your GP regarding their use and alternatives. The kaleidoscope in eyes I have had a couple of times both pre and post nasah, my optician put it down to optical migraines, but once again get it checked out - your eyes are important! I think its very difficult for people to accept that we who have suffered this insult to our brains have long term side effects. My solace is that there is always someone here on BTG who will listen, comment and try and help. Six years is a long time to go without BTG, start making up for it now! Clare xx

Interesting reading Greg. My neuropsychologist has said after I complete the test they may not show much deficiency but that it is flawed. This is because it depends where I was before the bleed. If I had very high functioning levels before, any drop now may not seem so bad on the scales. We have completed several tests over the last 2 weeks and will finish them next week with memory and executive dysfunction. After that we will have a feedback session followed by a session on coping mechanisms. All told I am very pleased with the way the tests have been carried out. The neuropsych knows I have to work after so leaves a good break for me to get into work without being rushed and stressed. Luckily it is in the same building - a very big Super Hospital (their name not mine), so I do not have to go far. Had a melt down last week at work due to 2 days of intense pressure, luckily the Wednesday off helped and I was able to go back on the Thursday feeling refreshed. Makes me realise the wisdom of negotiating the Weds off in my new job. I'll keep you all posted. Clare xx

Very interesting Jim, glad to hear you you are ok. Mine was a non-aneurysmal haemorrhage but it was not perimesencephalic. I do worry that as no cause was found, that it could happen again. I worry about straining as the hospital said I should avoid it and I keep myself relatively fit. I think if someone could tell me why it happened I may not worry, saying that it is not an all consuming worry just a niggle at the back of my mind. Good luck for the future and with those lottery tickets! Clare xx

Hi Jan i changed jobs after my nasah which I'm sure I wouldn't have done had it not happened. Life changed immeasurably for me and relations at my old job became strained. I was always the one to take control and lead and suffered from the stress of doing that. My old boss had been a good friend and was with me when I had my SAH. But eventually I think she got fed up with me being 'ill', we fell out and I decided to leave. The move has overall been good but not without stresses. Learning a new job at my age has not been easy but I am lucky to have the support of my new employer - the NHS. My whole outlook has changed since my SAH, I have different friends, job and much better relationships with my family. You certainly realise who the important people are. I'm also hoping to move in the next year or so - More changes! Clare xx

HI Nicola Warm welcome to the survivors group! BTG has been a god send to me since my Nasah 18 months ago. You are very early in your recovery so as everyone else has said, take it easy, listen to your body and DRINK LOTS of WATER. It can be a lonely recovery as the occurrence of SAH is so rare. But keep coming here to BTG, there is always someone who will answer any questions you have. You were lucky you worked where you had your Sah, prompt treatment. You don't say what caused it, was it an aneurysm and do you have anymore? I too don't remember much about the first week, but I am assured I was talking - mostly a lot of drivel! My daughter still laughs at some of the things I said. Take everything slowly, luckily as you work in the NHS you will have great support with your return to work. I have just joined them and found them very supportive. Don't rush back to work, take your time and remember - You are still here, so enjoy life! Clare xx

Got back from holiday early this week and found my long awaited Neuropsychology appointment had come through for the following day - 30th June. This consult should have been earlier this year as it was requested in December but the original referral had been lost. The appointment was for 9am, a good time as I was refreshed after a good nights sleep. The Psychologist was lovely but had little info from Wessex about my haemorrhage so asked me for details. She then proceeded to ask lots of other questions about me and my life since my Nasah. An hour later I was wilting, more so than I had been of late. Luckily she noticed this and said she wanted to stop for the time being. Apparently I should have had a follow up after leaving hospital, but as I live in a different health authority to Wessex this was missed. If I had had follow up I would have had home support from my discharge and would have probably got to see her a lot sooner. Anyway the upshot is that she thinks I have some cognitive deficiencies and she wants to do testing to see what they are. The tests are about 3.5 hours long and she says I would not be able to tolerate this so will be broken down into 45 min blocks. The first one is in 2 weeks time. In the meantime I am to avoid stress especially at work. The consultant was very concerned about me being put under pressure to proceed with my Checking Technician status ( basically if I make an error it could potentially be fatal) and had to tell my boss. Being as I have only been in my job about 3 months I was a little worried about informing my boss that I may not be up to the job I was employed for. I need not have worried, my line manager, who I had told about the appointment, was so understanding. She told me not to worry and really put my mind at rest, I will not be put under any pressure until the tests are complete. What really surprised me about this whole ordeal was how I felt after 80 mins of intense investigation with the Neuro psychologiist. My head was pounding and it felt like someone was sitting on the back of my next, very similar to the feeling I felt soon after my Nasah. Just made me realise how much fatigue is still part of my life. I had to take a break with a drink and a sugar boost before starting work. It was good to meet someone who could see the fatigue setting in and understand when enough was enough. It took me all morning to get over the 90 min appointment but I am so glad it took place. I will keep posting with my follow up appointments. Hopefully at the end I will know my deficiencies and have coping mechanisms in place. Clare xx

Be thinking of you tomorrow Gail, fingers crossed all goes well. Clare xx

How scary for you Jan. I think you should take Supers advice and contact your consultant or gp tomorrow. Medication can be tweaked and maybe that is what you need. Hope you are feeling a bit better this evening, let us know how you get on tomorrow Clare xx

Hi Gail Warm welcome, you have certainly come to the right place. BTG has been a godsend for me. Hope your children are appreciating their mum and looking after you. I was slightly older than you when I had my Nasah but like you was exercising, in my case running. Have you returned to exercise yet? Congrats on your phased return, mine took a similar amount of time - you have done well. What type of work do you do and have they accommodated you well with your phased return? Keep well and keep us posted on your progress. Clare xx

Happy Anni-versary Michelle. As you say another milestone in your recovery. Hope you have a lovely day even if Verdun didn't remember. Chill relax and be happy and all your friends here on BTG will celebrate with you. We are the survivors so understand the significance of this day. Clare xx

Great news Karen, good to see Wessex leading the way. Mr Bulters who is leading the project was my neurosurgeon and although I don't remember any of our conversations, I have been told he is a marvellous neurosurgeon - he certainly saved my life. Will be interesting to hear any results. Clare xx

Hi Jan Welcome to BTG the best place to come if you have suffered a SAH! Lots of advice and friendly banter here which can be so helpful when you have experienced what I now think of as - a brain explosion. Mine was non-aneurysmal so I will never know what caused it, what I do know is that it takes time to recover. Karen is right in saying you need to compare yourself to the person who came out of hospital not the person before, something I am still coming to terms with. Mine was in Feb 2015 so I am 15 month post bleed and cannot believe what in impact this event has had on my life, so many things that would just not have happened if it were not for my 'explosion'. You don't say if you are back at work yet, though you do say it's with your own business. Do not push too much, the fatigue lasts for a long time - I still suffer now- so being kind to yourself is very important. The best advice I can give you is rest, water and avoid stress! Hopefully the left side weakness will improve. My memory has improved though I still have problems, I am awaiting a Neuropsychology consult to see what my deficits are which will be interesting. Embrace the 'new normal' and be thankful you are still here to do just that! Clare xx

Morning Subs. Happy Anni -versary to both you and Mrs Subs. You have been a wonderful support to your wife and also many members on BTG myself included. How fortuitous you arrived early that day. Have a great day today and raise lots of money for the fantastic blue lights! Clare xx

So true Kerry, you words brought a tear to my eye. It's so true no one knows what post sah is like unless they have been there too. And that's why I keep coming back here. Thanks Karen for giving us BTG Clare xx

Hi Greg I had similar events to yours but without the infection. Mine also happened around the same time as yours so we are about the same place post SAH. You have probably seen my more recent posts and know I am back to work and more recently have changed my job. Fatigue is still a big issue to me especially so more recently as I am having to learn a lot of new stuff. There is no way I could work a full week and find working 2 days then day off (today Wednesday yippee! ) works well for me. It's strange as I can run 6 miles after a day at work with no problem, but if I had to sit down and do some paperwork after working I would not cope. My family find it difficult to understand what the fatigue is like, it's not just being tired it's almost like a feeling of desperation and need to just stop everything. In your job I can imagine a lot of brain power is needed so maybe that is causing problems. I know at work if I have to do calculations I need quiet to be able to concentrate enough to do them. Concentration is extremely difficult if not impossible when I am fatigued - I just have to give up and leave it for another day! I am not sure if the infection you had has lead to your prolonged recovery, maybe worthwhile asking your nurse specialist if you have one. I was in hospital with a girl who had an abscess on her brain- she had no surgery - and we have kept in touch. She is a teacher and is back working full time but still suffers fatigue. Maybe this is the new you but don't despair, I was told recovery can take up to 2 years so we still have time. Maybe best to readjust your expectations, I know I had to and am much happier for it. Clare xx

I think I suffered and possibly still suffer from a bit of PTSD. But like Louise I think in some ways it is not only one of the most important things to happen in my life but the RESULT and outcome is probably one of the best. Had I not had my NASAH I would still be living the life I had been and although I thought I was relatively happy I now realise I was not. SAH made me change my values and step back and look at what was really important in my life. Number 1 was my family, I realise now that they are most important and my relationships have changed as a result. Number 2 was my friends. You certainly find out who your friends are -enough said! Number 3 is work and the role it played in my life. At that time I worked flat out for little thanks. Changing my job is probably one of the best things to come out of my SAH, something I would have never contemplated if it and subsequent events had not happened. I am so happy in my new job and people who used to work with me have remarked that I look happier. I feel happier in myself too but like Daff I don't 'take prisoners ' now, life is too short and I think the awareness that mine could have been prematurely reduced reinforces that attitude. All in all life is good for me now and I will say this site and the wonderful people on it have helped me reach that point. Clare xx

1.Headache at back of head whilst runing (And I said to a fellow runner - "I never get headaches"). 2. Neck got stiffer and hard to move (but kept running) 3. Headache increased as did neck pain, felt weak and nauseous (but kept run/walking) 4. Collapsed, vomiting, photophobia. Ambulance called. 5. Little memory of next 2 weeks except constant headache and Nurse on ICU wards shoes and voice. But I survived, even if a little damaged . I am a happy damaged survivor!

Hi Gemma Read your post with great interest as it rang a bell with me. I went back and checked my discharge notes and there it was. My diagnosis was; 1; Subarachnoid haemorrhage (spontaneous idiopathic) 2. Intraventricular haemorrhage 3. Hydrocephalus Looks like the blood was in my ventricles too but not sure where it was first, presumably in the subarachnoid space. but maybe that was not so as mine was also a large bleed. Unlike you I was lucky that I did not need a shunt and have not had the other problems you have had the misfortune to suffer. I never got to see the neurosurgeon after my discharge, just the Nurse Specialist. I would quite like to have seen the surgeon to ask more questions but at the time was so out of it that I just accepted the appointment I was given - it's easy to look back afterwards and say 'I wish'. Not to say the Nurse Specialist was not good, she was marvellous, just wish I had had the 'brain power' to ask more. I wish you well with your phased return and the return of your driving licence. Funnily I am now thinking of getting rid of my car. I cannot drive to my new job as there is no parking and know from my 9 months not driving that I can manage on public transport. I will still have access to my husbands car and don't tend to go far on my day off so feel it it a waste of money my car sitting on the the road all week! Keep us all posted Clare xx

Thanks for all your comments. Gave the running a miss on Thursday, thought I would give myself a rest. Not sure if I feel better for it, I always feel a bit guilty if I don't go. Last day at my job today, officially unemployed until Monday . I cannot believe that my boss alias my best friend (or not) didn't even sign my leaving card. I feel that my life has changed immeasurably in the last 12 months. Sah surely shows who are your friends and who aren't and I now know who is important in my life and who isn't. One thing i am glad of is this site............. thanks everyone Clare xx

As many of you know I had my Nasah with Hydrocephalus and an evd in February 2015. No cause was found and I have made a good recovery. I am back running - 6 miles last night - and am back at work and just about to start a new job next week. Yesterday however, I was asked to go to another pharmacy to help out. I had never been to this pharmacy before and although he computer system was more or less the same, everything else was different. They were quite behind and I spent the day helping them get more up together. They were lovely people and we did a lot in the 6 hours I was there. However when I finished I felt shell shocked, my temples were throbbing and I seriously considered not going for my run. I decided to go though as running makes me feel better usually as I don't need my brain to do it. . It was a good long run, I did suffer some neck stiffness after but that is fairly normal for me caused by my running style I think (I have had it before the sah). Usually when I get home from running I feel physically tired but not mentally. Last night and today I feel exhausted. I think it was the working in a new environment and I am now worried about starting my new job. Yesterday a lot of the work was the same or similar to what I have been used to but next week it will be totally different. Hospital pharmacy is a world away from community. I am hoping I have made the right decision in this job change. Does anyone else have experience of an almost backward step when tackling new work and is this the norm or is it just me? Thank God it's my day off today, trying to take it easy but some things have to be done. I sometimes think I should be back to normal by now and worry that I am making more out of this than is necessary. But with no one else except my BTG friends who have experience of this, it is hard to decide how I should feel. Any advice? Clare xx