ClareM

Hi Brandi Welcome to BTG although a little delayed from the event. How awful to be separated from your newborn and other 4 children. You are a brave woman having 5 kids! Glad to hear that you are almost back to normal, gives me hope! I am 7 month post bleed and still working on it thought I realise I have come a long way. I too am very thankful to be a survivor and am glad I found this site to be able to share my fears and worries. Looking forward to hearing from you - that's when you have time with those 5 kids! lol! Clare xx

Sorry to hear about Mrs Subs recent problems, hope the medics get it all sorted soon. Clare xx

Hi I could not drink for about a month after my SAH but have started again since then. Not excessively just a couple of glasses of wine, mind you it definitely affects me more now. And I also find if I have had more than 2 glasses that I cannot remember anything the next day of what I did and said when I was drinking. Needless to say, I take it very easy now. I was never told not to drink but as SM says there may be a reason for you not to. Ask your GP they should know, maybe the advice is different in France. Good luck Clare xx

Thanks everyone for your comments. Things got worse today so I am glad I am off for a week. Mind you it will mar my holiday slightly having the worry. Daf I am not on company sick, that ran out in May, I am on Statutory sick (government sick pay) for 1 day a week and then get paid for the 24 hours a week I work. I am not costing then any money and they aren't even covering me for the hours I am not there any more. I had a plan with my immediate manager that eventually I would like to return to work for 4 days per week on my old hours and have one day off (Wednesday) to enable me to recharge my batteries - 2 of those 4 days are 9.5 working hours. I was therefore going to be losing hours - 19 per month which is quite a salary drop. I then asked if I could work one Saturday morning per month for 4 hours as I knew my colleague wanted to give it up. Good plan my immediate manager thought, not so the Area manager, he says no. No reason except he doesn't want a Checker working Saturdays. The rate of pay is exactly the same so it does not make sense. Had a big row with him and have now been told he will think about it and let me know. I am so angry, I am offering to give up hours which would help the budget they keep on about, (they would not replace me for those hours) but there has to be a limit to the amount of salary drop I can take. I work so hard for them and prior to the SAH never had time off sick. It has made me seriously think about moving jobs. I have made them an offer that would suit all concerned but no, for some irrational reason they have refused. Sorry to go on, so glad I can come her and rant!!!

Hi Wessex are great, I was treated there. Hopefully you are in contact with the Nurse Specialist there, Lesley is great, really helpful. Well done on the computer use! Clare xx

Grrr I am so annoyed I have had to start a new thread re pressure to return to work full time. When I came out of hospital my HR department arranged a meeting with me,my manager and my area manager at my home. I gave them tea, coffee, biscuits and allowed them to be savaged by my dog - very gently! They sympathised and admired my shaved scarred head and told me they were here for me and not to rush back to work! I have gradually been phasing back and am up to 25 hours per week. I have a job that could cause severe problems should I make a mistake hence my slow return. (I am a Pharmacy checking technician) Today I have been told by my immediate manager that head office have told her that phasing usually only lasts about 6 weeks and when am I going to be back full time? Bear in mind that I have only been paid for the hours I work since the end of May with a paltry £15.00 per day SSP for the rest = £15.00 on top of my hours per week! They said at my home visit they would write to hospital and ask for a phased return plan, did that happen? NO! They said that my health was of the utmost importance, do they seem to think that now? NO!. Well I shall be fighting them! I want to return for longer hours but not at the expense of my health. I would like to know how many other of their employees has had a SAH, not many considering their 6 week phasing presumption. I would have loved to have been back after 6 weeks and so would my bank balance! Grrrrrrr! Rant over! Sorry! Clare xx

Hi Jerome Welcome to BTG and well done on your intro. I can understand you being scared you have been through such a lot. If it makes the sah side of things any better it is very unlikely to happen again. I think we all worry about 'what if? ' but as Karen the founder of this site has said they have not lost a member to a subsequent sah yet. What type of bleed did you have and did you have any surgery? Recovery is slow and you are still early days. I am 7 months post bleed now and still not back at work full time and have bad days. Rest lots and drink plenty of water. And keep in touch with the medics re your condition as considering your other problems you need support. Hopefully other members will post with help and friendly advice, it's a great place and helps allay the fear sometimes. You're not a freak just scared and need some friends, you have come to the right place. Take care Clare xx

Hi Mandie Physical stamina will come back before mental stamina. I can run as far as I could before my NASAH, I built it up gradually. You need to take your time but it will come back. I wish my mental stamina was better but hey ho I'm here! Clare xx

Well said Macca, family are the most important thing, it's something I am so grateful for. My family have been brilliant and still are. I am still trying to find my normal 7 months down the line, hopefully one day I will say I have found it and accept it - that's the biggest thing, accepting it. Clare xx

Happy 5th Anni-versary Macca. I join you in thanking Karen for creating this site. Enjoy your day Clare xx

Hi Beth Sah is a very lonely event, there are so few people that experience it that it is hard to find people to talk to about what has happened. That is why this site is a godsend. I can understand your anger, I felt it too in the early days, the anger does fade and hopefully acceptance will step in. I can also understand your worries over money, I am the main wage earner in our household and still only working part time. As you are self employed maybe working from home in short bursts is the way to go, that way you can do some work but in a controlled environment where there is water and comfort. Daf is right when she says your son is adult enough to see how you are. My 3 adult kids have been great, but they did see me at my worst. Put him on to me - I will sort him! (joking). But seriously you need to have a chat and explain what has happened. I was given a book by the hospital when I left, did you have any such thing he could read? I see you are a south coast lady. Where abouts in West Sussex are you and where were you treated? I am in Portsmouth so we are practically neighbours! Keep strong and drinking that water! Clare xx

Hi Beth Wow what a story. God knows how you did all that you did with that headache! Makes me realise I was lucky I was taken to hospital so quickly. Glad you have found BTG lots of friendly advice here. As Tina says its early days for you. Rest plenty and water water water! And yes 'hey we are alive' something I keep reminding myself too! Clare xx

Hi Karl Glad to hear you are recovering well. I take it you did not have an EVD or any other invasive procedure. DVLA are very quick to take your license away but notoriously slow to reinstate it. My 'ban' was for 6 months as I has an EVD, I reapplied after 3 months on the hospitals advice, DVLA wrote to me sometime ago saying they were writing to my consultant and would get back to me asap but advised it may be some time. By mine and the hospitals reckoning I should have got my licence back on 17th August..... I am still waiting. Luckily I am not too bothered as I am managing without my car but I feel for you, needing it for your business. If I were you I would just keep on at them and maybe check with the hospital that the hold up is not at their end. Consultants are often slow dealing with these matters as they are dealing with saving peoples lives - shouldn't complain should we really?? Good luck, keep us posted on your progress. Clare xx

Hi Tracie I had my NASAH on 9 Feb 2015, remember it all until the morphine then have no memory until 6 days later, even though I have been told I was speaking - speaking a load of rubbish! Very difficult to get your head around it, but just believe what you have been told and accept it. Good luck on your recovery and glad you have found us. Clare xx

Hi Sami and Rob Happy Anniversary to you both, hope it was a good day and that the year to come gets better and better Clare xx

Elizabeth I think he needs to chill. It's hard, God I know it's hard but he needs to give a little, both to you and himself. Work is not the be all and end all, he has survived that is the bottom line. I love my job but not as much as I love my life, my husband and kids. My job would have carried on without me no worries but my family..... that would have been another story. Get him to stop so much work and maybe the non work activities will get better. It's hard to not work so much especially if you have been a linchpin of that job but the bottom line is that the job will go on even if you don't. Sorry to be so blunt but I hope you agree its reality, Clare xx

Hi Gillian When I first came on this site I wondered the same thing, not just about my head but about everything. I am not as far down the line as you but have come to the conclusion that 'normal' is now 'new normal' and different. My bleed was February, I started phasing back to work at the end of May and am still phasing....... Like you I have good and bad days, the good days are getting more frequent but that makes the bad days even worse. What type of work do you do and do you have family support? Have you spoken to your GP regarding how you are feeling? I'm not sure if our heads will ever feel the same again. They have undergone a massive trauma which must take a lot to recover from. I would love to have a straw poll of everyone having an NASAH and know how many actually feel as they did before the event. My only advice to you is to seek help. Other people on this site have found Headway helpful, or nurse specialists at the Neuro unit you were treated at. Don't give up, there are always all of us on this site that will reassure you that you are not alone! Clare xx

Hi Issy I have problems with noise though it has got better. When I first came home from hospital I had to have the tv very low especially when there was a lot of applause or such like. I still have problems with screaming children or babies crying - I have to remove my self. Unfortunately I have builders next door when at home and builders next door when at work! At home I can go out but at work I have to deal with it and can't wear earplugs as I need to listen. Hopefully things will improve for you and you will find coping mechanisms in the meantime. Clare

Hi I am a pharmacy tec and was always very anti anti-depressants as so many people take them. However after a particularly bad time in my life I agreed to take them. All I can say is that they have worked for me and have definitely helped after my SAH too. If the doctor thinks it's worth a try maybe it is. Anti-depressants get a lot of bad press but can help and don't have to be taken for life- just through a bad period which is maybe now for your Dad. He is more likely to make good progress if he is positive, so don't dismiss it, chat with the doctors. Hope that helps Clare xx

Karen Loved your story and very grateful to you. This site has been a godsend to me in the last 6 months, so many people to help out and 'get' what I mean. I'm 6 months tomorrow and can't believe what has happened in that time so God only knows (another song there Win - my wedding song!) what 10 years must feel like. I've made and met friends through this site which would have been impossible if you hadn't developed it. So thanks from the bottom of my heart, keep up the fantastic work. Clare xx

Hi Well said Dafs! Yesterday, day off, just spent most of it pootling about the house doing odd jobs. Went to meet my husband at the supermarket when he finished work so I could shop while he walked our 4 legged best mate. 45 minutes later he met me, I was wandering aimlessly not sure what was missing from my list and not really caring. Head banging and just really want to go home and shut out the world. I am 6 months (well bar a couple of days) post bleed and still wondering if I need to 'man up'. Nah! my brain just needs more time - and I'll give it. At least I am still here and I know my husband kids appreciate it even if it is only for the meals I cook them! Clare xx

Hi Annie Think your body is trying to tell you something. My Nasah was in feb and I am still not back at work full time. Are you drinking plenty, it does help as does taking rest breaks. Ditto what everyone else has said though- speak to your GP. Good luck Clare

Hi So sorry to hear about your husband, how sad you didn't get to say goodbye. There is not much I can say except SAH is rare so hopefully your children will be safe. Have a chat with you GP and explain your situation, maybe he will have some answers for you. You could try contacting http://www.brain-injury.org.nz/ or http://www.supporttrust.org.nz/support-organisations/headway-brain-injury-association/ they may be able to help and support you. You will never get over losing your husband in such a sad way but hopefully you will learn to accept it with time, be strong for the children, my thoughts are with you. Clare xx

James Don't think I can be much help but I suggest you arrange a meting with the doctors involved in his care to discuss the feeding issues. Maybe if you all sat down - with dad- and discussed why he still has the tube and pureed food he and the doctors may understand a bit better. Hope you resolve things! Clare

Hi Sammy What a brave little girl you have, well done her for making that call to her daddy. Sounds like you have had a rough time and that the French medics are very thorough! I was lucky in never having to have a lumbar puncture though I did have an EVD which has stopped me from driving for 6 months. I have heard that lumbar punctures are very painful so to have had 4 and another on the cards must be very daunting! Rest now you have decided not to travel and spend the time with your daughter rebuilding trust. There's always half term in October, you will hopefully be feeling a bit better by then. Take care, drink, rest and smile - you are still here to be a mummy! Clare xx