My first anniversary is coming up - and I'm confused.

[Deborah]

Hi. This is Debbie, and tomorrow is the one year anniversary that I had my SAH.

 

I had a non-aneurysmal SAH, and was in Intensive Care (I live in the states) for 10 days.

 

I had some symptoms and still have more headaches than I'd like, but for the most part, I am 95%, maybe a little less, but I am extremely lucky.

 

The night it happened, my daughter was in college in Boston (I live in NJ), and I had to tell her over the phone.

 

She and my husband (who were here) were up all night and waiting for news, and endured the 10 days while I was alone because no one was allowed in the hospital during COVID.

 

Question, my daughter called me crying, I am thinking of going up to Boston. Is this a celebration? It seems like it should be, however I also feel like we are re-living trauma. My husband is very devoted, but he says he doesn't feel anything  about the day (like we do). Any thoughts? Thank you!

[Tina]

Hi Debbie  

 

Congratulations on your first Anniversary. Bless your Daughter xx We all deal with things very differently.

My Daughter got emotional too on my first anniversary celebration. She said it all came back the trauma of being so scared she may have lost me. Mixed emotions of happiness and sad. But yes, a celebration, make it a happy celebration of life.

 

My husband was just so grateful i survived. My Son dug his head in the sand at the time as could not cope with it.  Cant imagine how awful and helpless your family must have felt not being able to be with you because of Covid. Must have been so very scary for you too.

 

I hope you celebrate your anniversary even if just a phone call or a nice meal out.

Thanks for sharing and wishing you many more.

 

Take care

Love Tina xx 

[ClareM]

Congratulations on your first anniversary. I think you should celebrate - as Tina says a celebration of life. My husband always remembers - mind you it is on the calendar - and buys me some flowers. I always think about that day on my anniversary, it's hard to forget such a momentous life changing event.

 

Hope you continue to keep well 

 

Clare xx

[Skippy]

Hi Deborah

 

Most certainly a celebration.  For the first 10 years after mine we treated the Anni-versary of my Anni as a second birthday.  Luckily both my daughter and my husband realised how lucky I'd been and were more than willing to turn something so awful and traumatic into a cause for celebration and happiness. 

 

My first anni was celebrated in Cornwall, where one of my oldest friends lives, and my hubby and daughter.  For the next nine years there were birthday cards with how old the "anni" was - my daughter (now 24) nicknamed it "Monkey" and always bought cards with monkey's on them and the age - it was her way of getting me to measure how far I'd come each year.  

 

I think turning this into a celebration helps to take away the anxiety of it all and also brings you together as a family - treat it as a happy occasion and it'll be easier to cope with..

 

Congratulations xx

[SarahLS]

Definitely celebrate in a way you feel comfortable with - my mum insisted on being with us on the 1st anniversary and we went out for a 'not dying dinner' - possibly a little tasteless but it was our way of saying 'ya boo sucks' to the previous year.

Even though this year wasn't quite as celebratory we did still cook a special meal & like Skippy treat the day as an unbirthday.

 

 

[Swishy]

I agree with those who wrote before me.  Congratulations on your 1st year and I send you wishes for many more.    

xx

Jean

[Louise]

I had a night out with our friends for my 1st Ani-versary got a bit dressed up was lovely in all sorts of ways....  

Do know when it is but dont really mark it now for a very much completely different reason....  

 

hope you had a lovely day whatever you did.

 

Stay-safe. 

[Kathy]

Thankful anniversary Debbie! WOW. I loved reading the encouraging posts to celebrate. I am heading toward year four and never thought of turning that day into a reason to celebrate. I like that idea. My daughter was an ER nurse and was there in ER when I arrived. She was somewhat traumatized by it all ~ more hands on than most.

 

I remember her cutting off my shirt that I had just bought. I already had IV lines and stuff from paramedics. We laugh about it now. She is now a nursing professor and has me come in each term to tell my story and inform students what was helpful and not so helpful with nursing care. I think most family members just want to move on from the event (6 weeks in hospital).

 

My sisters are the only ones who mention it and ask about ongoing problems (memory, confusion and fatigue). My mother passed into glory while I was in the hospital so that does make it more sad; however, there is a miracle with that story ~ mom had collapsed and was in a coma four days ~ came out of it and talked to me on the phone ~ told me to keep fighting, then she went to my sister’s home on hospice for four days).

 

I am so grateful for hospital staff, family and friends who were there for me. It is definitely a second “birthday” of sorts. Best to you, Debbie.

 

Kathleen (Colorado)