My Dad..

[Clover]

6 months ago my Dad had a SAH. He was mountain biking with my brother & had a sudden extreme headache come on. He stopped & said this is a bizarre feeling I think we should get someone to pick us up & take us home. So as they walked there bikes back to the road Dad symptoms got worse & he said he wanted an ambulance. They managed to get to the road & by that stage his face was numb & he wasn't good at all. He had to be transferred to a hospital with a Neuro ward, which was a 1 & ½ hours away, by the time he left in the ambulance he was unconscious. He was put on life support & spent about 2 weeks in ICU & HDU & then was transferred into the HDU Neuro ward.

Dads SAH was a grade 4 out of 5 & we were told he wouldn’t make it or if he did he wouldn’t be the same person. We are so lucky & thankful he pulled through, he is such a fighter!!

Dad was at home after 3 months. He has short-term memory loss but that is improving every day. The biggest hurdle for him at the moment is his emotions & feeling down. He cries a lot & the smallest things trigger him off. It took us a while to realise that we see his amazing improvements & feel so happy that he is doing so well but inside he is feeling very scrambled & doesn’t feel himself at all. He says he knows he should feel thankful to be alive but he just doesn’t feel that way as he isn’t himself. I have tried to get him to look at this website as I thought it would be very helpful (as it has been extremely helpful to me after I found it a month ago) but anything medical at the moment just brings him to tears & he said he doesn’t feel ready at the moment. I am hoping in a couple of months he will feel ready to have a look as I think he wont feel so alone. He has a lot of family & friends support. Mum has been amazing, it has made me realise how tough it can be on the carers as well as their life has changed so much as well. I know we still have a long recovery rollercoaster ahead of us but I have no doubt he will get to a point where he enjoys life again..

The strange thing about Dads case is that he has had about 5 MRI & many Cat scans & they still can’t find where the bleed occurred so they haven’t been able to coil it. They don’t think it was a venous bleed as the bleed was so bad. Has this happened to anybody on here? It made it very hard as every scan we were hoping they would find something so they could fix it but unfortunately they haven’t had any luck. He has 1 more MRI in a few months to see if they can see it…so fingers crossed!

I am so happy to have found this site as it has helped me understand what he is going through a lot more...so thank you!

Kate

[Sandi K]

Hi Kate, welcome to BTG!

Sounds like your dad had a very serious bleed and needs some time before he's ready to learn about what happened. Being emotional in the early months especially is common. I cried more than I ever have before. Some think that we are crying for ourselves, grieving for ourselves. It sure feels like grief. At 9 months post bleed I can celebrate how lucky I am to be alive but at 3 months I was often in tears. I knew I was lucky but felt so strange and had odd physical symptoms and my routine was completely turned upside down. I just wanted to be normal but that was impossible.

Your dad needs time. Sounds like you are doing really well by joining this site and learning what you can.

Sandi K.

[SarahLou]

Hi Kate,

Welcome to BTG.

Your dad had been through some very rough times.

I was recommended to this site months before I found the strength to join. Sometimes I wish I'd found the strength earlier because this site really has been a godsend but I guess I just wasn't ready until recently.

Your dad has come a long way, and he has a long journey ahead, sounds like your'll give him lots of strength. My daughter has given me more strength than realises, even though I often tell her.

The best bit of advice I was given from here that you could maybe pass on to your dad was to stop comparing my life to before my SAH but to compare things now to how I was in hospital and when I first came home.

Your dad, you and all your family will get strength from this site.

SarahLou Xx

[Riane]

Hi Kate,

Welcome to BTG, glad you found it. I hope your Dad is able to make it over here one day.

I would suggest that you try (when he is ready) to watch this 1/2 hour video with him. It may be easier for him to watch a video rather than sit and read. He could even do it in small segments if that's easier.

I have found it so helpful to see that video and hear from other people who went through the same things I am going through.

The video and drink 3 liters of water each day are the two most important things I would suggest.

I wish you and your family all the best in this journey of recovery. It sounds like your Dad is a strong man, he'll make it through, and it's a journey...

Riane

[Winb143]

Hiya Kate,

I know you will worry about your Dad it is natural....He will come around in his own time...took me a year before the Docs

decided to give me a shunt op...I was only in hospital for 3 days and gradually I came back to land of living...memory got

better and better, ,,,,,, still use words like whatshisname and thingymebob but then I always did..lol...

Good luck to you all

Love

WinB143 x

[Louise]

Hi Kate

Warm welcome to the site, a scarry time with your Dad, but its amazing how we adapt, it does however take a long while to feel anywhere near human as you once did.

cry at the drop of a hat now unlike before I could control an emotional moment........

[Clover]

Thank you for all your lovely messages & advice, I have watched the video & it is really helpful, I will forward it onto my Mum & hopefully my Dad will watch it sometime soon. It it such a nice thought knowing with time he will get out of this. Thanks again xxx

[jess]

Hi Kate welcome to btg look forward to chatting sometime soon.Hope that the next mri scan brings you the news you want and hope your dad is better soon. Jess.xxx

[kempse]

Hi Kate,

A belated welcome to BTG. I'm sorry to hear your Dad suffered this awful event, but glad you have found this site which will hopefully give you a lot of advice and reassurance regarding recovery.

I suppose the medical team will be a bit mystified by the high grade bleed and not finding the origin/cause, so hopefully your Dad's next scan will help with that.

I appreciate everyone's story is different, but there is a lady who lives in our village who was never operated on following a bleed, and although in her case it was known to be caused by an aneurysm, she is doing fine and the sah happened 16 years ago.

It sounds like your Dad has done really well in the past 6 months - the way he feels is understandable and very common following a sah. When he is ready, I'm sure he will find comfort from this site and realise he is not alone in how he feels. I wish you all the very best.

Sarah

[Mollynjosie]

Dear clover welcome to the group your dads story reads very close to mine see mollynjosie to read about my sah what your dads going through is normal but I would suggest to talk to your dad & g.p on getting your dad on anti- depressants it will help I suffer from depression I had it before bleed but has got worse since I cry at the least little thing my family have tried to help but it's hard for them to understand my emotions a sah is very hard to come to terms with the fact you were on the brink of passing away and the fact the life you lead is different.with my sah I also had stroke and at 37 my life is not what it was or will be and to come to terms with it is hard

I wish your dad all the best and let him know people in here care and to you stay strong for your dad and you to have friends in here that know what your going through

[KelBel]

Hi Kate

Sorry to hear your dad has suffered an SAH.

I can relate to not feeling lucky, even though I knew I was lucky I didn't like being told it as I just couldn't feel lucky. It felt like my world had turned upside down. I didn't know when I would be independent again, and initially I didn't know how I would be able to return to work, as it was enough in a day to get out of bed, shower and change...

I realise now (21 months on) that I have been extremely lucky.

I have returned to work full-time, I got my licence back after just 2 months post-op. I am back to the gym and going out 'almost' like I used to.

Some things have changed; I have to make sure I drink a lot (3 litres) of water/decaffeinated drink each day and steer clear, or have very few, caffeinated drinks (diet coke, tea etc). I can't drink alcohol like I used to, and although I can now handle busy noisy situations I seem to pay for it afterwards. It can feel like a hangover without having had the alcohol BUT I am lucky that I have recovered as well as I have.

I had a grade 1 bleed caused by a large aneursym coiled 7 days post-SAH due to misdiagnosis, which then caused a severe vasospasm resulting in initial left-sided weakness which has resolved.

I hope your dad will be able to join us on here in time and read that he is not alone in how he is feeling.

You could also download and print a copy of the Brain & Spine Foundation booklet and leave it for him to read when he is up to it.

Getting counselling via my work and via my GP was really beneficial for me in the early months. I would highly recommend it.

I hope you hear the news you want after the next scan.

Take care

Kel x