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Hi to all.... not sure i'm in the right place??


Guest Shygirl268
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Guest Shygirl268

Hi to everyone, i've been reading your posts and stories for a while now (i was pointed in this direction from another forum), however i'm not sure if i'm in the right place! I have two aneurysms but they are not ruptured and i am currently waiting for an appointment for an angiogram at Wessex Neurological Centre in Southampton. My mother died at the age of 44 from a SAH and so naturally I am fairly anxious. Is this purely a site for those who have ruptured, if so... i shall take my leave but hope you wont mind me hanging around in the background and reading the posts. I have to admit to feeling very alone with all of this and am finding it quite challenging to find any support and have benefited immensely from sharing your experiences.

I am constantly moved by your courage and bravery and i wish you well....

Julie :)

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Hi Julie and welcome,

No, we're not a website just for ruptured annies/stroke/Brain haem?AVM's ...

Glad that you have posted .... we have a few guy's on this website living with unruptured annies or annies that haven't been totally occluded. My annie has been coiled, but I'm still left with a neck on it ..... which isn't ideal and there's a possibility of needing further treatment.

Please do post and share your thoughts with us .... give me a few hours and then I'll set up a separate forum for un-ruptured annies .... xx

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Hi Julie,

I've just set up a new forum for untreated annies or annies that may need further treatment etc .... so, I hope that you'll be able to post there ... I'm on a steep learning curve with the website and wish to accommodate everybody's need ......so, thanks for pointing this out to me......xx

http://www.behindthegray.net/forum/viewforum.php?f=18

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Guest Shygirl268

Thank you for your kind welcome Karen, i shall certainly post! And thanks also for setting up the new forum for untreated aneurysms, i shall check it out too....

I notice you are in Wimborne, we are practically neighbours, i'm in Christchurch and work for the Bournemouth and Poole College!...Its a small world. Thanks again for the welcome Karen.

Julie

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Hi Julie,

Gosh, you're only down the road from me! I live in Merley.... we're not far from Bear Cross or Bearwood....

My son Chris, who originally set up the website for me, went to the Lansdowne College to study for his A levels a few years ago...

Well, I hope that you'll keep an eye on our social meets forum, as I'm hoping to finalise a date for a B.T.G bbq at our house in July/Aug..

It's definetely a small world ...... if you want to contact me any time, then please feel free to do so ...xx

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Hi Julie

Welcome the site and the family :wink:

Hope to hear more from and hope that you get as much comfort and help from here as we have. We're all here to help each other and share our experience, so any questions you may have, just fire away.

TTFN

Sami xxx

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Guest Shygirl268

Wow... what can i say...thank you all so much for the lovely welcome... Keith, Hi again we met on another site and it was you who pointed me this way, so i thank you for that. Unfortunately my experience on another forum was not particularly good and made me quite nervous about posting... however you all sound lovely, and i can't tell you how pleased and relieved i feel to be here!

I don't want to exclude any of you who have responded to my post.. so here is a big 'blanket' hug and hello to you all......

Karen, I hope we will get to meet up in the future, its a beautiful part of the world where we live, i feel very blessed every day...

Kind wishes to all... Julie :wink:

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Hi Julie,

I'm really sorry to hear that your experiences with another forum put you off from posting ..... I've never come across any negative or abusive reply on this website, but I've seen it on other sites ..... we're a friendly bunch here and that's the way we intend it to stay .... :) You'll find plenty of support when and if you need it... :) xx

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Guest Shygirl268

I wish i had found the courage to post earlier instead of trying to 'cope alone'. I have made a couple of friends from other sites who have been a great support, but sometimes just to check in, read others experiences is enough support in itself.

I'm generally a very positive and upbeat person, I love life, my children, my animals, nature, everything but i have been surprised by how this has affected me emotionally. I find it hard to speak to friends about it because I become so emotional and start crying!! This is not like me at all, I dont like feeling so vulnerable.......really i just want to turn back the clocks to last summer when i was blissfully unaware and felt so well and vibrant...

Please, dont' get me wrong, i'm not feeling sorry for myself and I know that most of you here have suffered hugely and traumatically (i've cried reading yours stories).......sometimes is just good to share....

Thank you for listening..... Julie X :)

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Hi Julie

I know exactly what you mean:-

I'm generally a very positive and upbeat person, I love life, my children, my animals, nature, everything but i have been surprised by how this has affected me emotionally. I find it hard to speak to friends about it because I become so emotional and start crying!! This is not like me at all, I dont like feeling so vulnerable.......really i just want to turn back the clocks to last summer when i was blissfully unaware and felt so well and vibrant...

I still get angry and bitter at how this has all changed me - but then I look at how I have changed for the better and try to work with that - silver linings and all that :wink: It does get easier, honest. The only thing I can say is, stop beating yourself up and fighting against who you have become. Once you've done that, it's easier to cope with. Don't get me wrong, I still fight it occasionally and get really angry about how this whole thing ahs changed my life and there are some bits I really hate, but there isn't anything I can do about it :roll:

But yeas, it is good to share - especially with people who know exactly how you feel and where you're coming from.

Chin up hun

Sami xxx

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Hi Julie,

I think that you'll find that many of us here, feel vulnerable too ..... we just don't like to admit it ...... we all like to think that we should be able to cope and that we're blessed to have survived, but I think that feeling vulnerable is a pretty natural reaction to what we've experienced and for me, life will never be the same as it was before the SAH..... I don't know how it ever can be.

However, with time (and it does take a good couple of years), I've accepted that these feelings are a natural reaction to what I've been exposed to and like you, if I could turn back the clock or erase the memories of the SAH, I would...... we've all had a taster of something that thankfully, many people won't have to face until their latter years and we're still in the prime of our life, probably with kids and jobs and a mortgage to pay. It's a huge burden that we carry, so if you feel emotional or need to cry, then I think that it's pretty normal....well, in my book and I think that we do need to "normalise" these feelings and not be too hard on ourselves and that it's okay to feel like this.

For everybody reading this post, I really recommend you to have a read of Sharon Dale Stone's book, titled "A change of plans" .... Women's stories of Haemorrhagic stroke ..... it explores feelings too and after reading it, it helped me to recognise that what I was feeling was quite normal after a SAH and I stopped beating myself up about it and surprisingly, I think that it helped with the depression.

If anybody wants a loan of my copy, then please PM me.

Anyway, enough of my waffling and back to some chores!

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Guest Shygirl268

Just had a lovely walk in the woods with my dogs, it always makes me feel 100 per cent better without fail. Just seeing the dogs so ecstatic doing what dogs do (which in their case is chasing birds..oops!) always makes me smile and although it was grey and flat today it was peaceful and quiet...

So the dogs are stinking and drying off in the kitchen and i'm waiting for the kids to come home... I know the advice you all give is spot on...This morning a friend phoned and as soon as he started to ask me how i was etc.. i could feel the tears welling in my eyes, my voice beginning to shake and that knotted feeling in the depth of stomach....but i know i'm very blessed to have this opportunity to sort this out before.... well you all know...

..... so now i ought to do some chores also... thanks for your advice.....I shall take a deep breath and trust the Universe....X

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Guest Shygirl268

Hi Stephen, dogs are wonderfully intuitive aren't they (even my stubborn as &^*% Westie), they seem to know when you are not at your best, when you are sad, or unwell. My spaniel barely leaves my side the whole time, they are such a source of joy and comfort... Nice to meet you Stephen. X

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