Guest ElaineW Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 It feels good to be able to communicate with others who have gone through the same traumatic experience. My mother suffered a SAH 5 weeks ago and is making a slow but steady progress (had pnemumonia also) and is still in hospital just about ready to start rehab. Yesterday was the first day since it happened that she has been able to drink or speak so that was a good step forward and a very emotional time for us all. She obviously has no recollection of the last several weeks and does not wish to know what happened although she has some insight as to how seriously ill she has been. There have been more downs than understandably and I am relaly unsure of what the future holds, indeed for her and also for me as her carer and only child. She has friends but no family herself so I know my life will change and I do work part time too. Would love to hear from other carers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Hey Elaine So very sorry to hear about your mother, I hope she continues to improve. I'm not a carer myself, I'm a sufferer (hate that word!) but from our side the most important thing in support is love, patience and understanding. I don't know exactly what care your mother will need when she returns home, so it's hard to advise on. If you could give a little more information about your mum (age, lifetsyle, cause of SAH and location of bleed etc) also any side effects she has as a result, it might help the carers on here advise you. Take care and please keep us posted with your mum's progress. TTFN Sami xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Welcome Elaine, So sorry to hear about your Mum......how old is she? It sounds as though your Mum has been through the mill, especially with having Pneumonia too .... bless her .... she's obviously a fighter... I don't think that anybody will be able to tell you what the future holds, as brain injury is so individual ..... but keep positive and do the best that you can..... keep talking ....xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Wow, what a prompt reply. My mum is 75 - I have not been gven details of the type of the bleed yet but I know it was coiled. She has a very quiet lifestyle living alone with a much devoted cat. She has never been very active as she is riddled with arthritis so day to day activities always makes her suffer after. I have just got back from the hospital and they have her up and about now with the aid of a zimmer so that is some more progress. I can see she has some short term memory problems which I gather is very common - her memory has always been second to none so I know she will not like that but hey she knows how lucky she is to be alive so that is nothing. I hope you are going along OK now - would be nice hear more about you so please keep in touch Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Wow, what a quick resposnse - mum is 75 and yes everyone saying what a fighter - she has been like a cat with 9 lives and has used up several giving us many sleepless nights. Advice I have been given is to offer love, patience and understanding so I can give all that. She has been up and about today using her legs for the first time with the help of a zimmer so that's more progress. I have been able to feel more positive over the last few days but it has been so hard. Great to hear from you and thanks. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Elaine, it sounds as though your Mum is doing wonderfully well and to be up and around using a zimmer at 75 years of age, after a SAH is quite an achievement! I was only 42 when I had mine and boy, have I struggled with the walking, so all power to your Mum .... what's her name? Think that most of us here have a short term memory problem ...... it does improve though and I think that it's also important to keep the brain active if you can ...... I can well imagine that your Mum has caused you a few sleepless nights .....but, fingers crossed that she's turned a bit of a corner and you can rest a bit easier now.....xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennissmithy Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Elaine, Welcome to this fab site Well done to your mum, she sounds like a real fighter! I agree with Sami, love, patience and understanding has really helped me to get over my SAH. I was only 27 when I had mine 21 months ago. Take care Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Hi Karen - her name is Margaret (or Maggie). I can't believe how suddenly she seems to have turned the corner. Intensive care and the HDU have been absolutely wonderful - she is in Frenchay Hospital, Bristol who have an excellent team specialising in brain surgery so she is in the best place. She seems very lucid at the moment so fingers crossed it will continue. I get so disappointed when I build up my hopes if she has a better day because it so often comes crashing down around me the next. Are you doing OK now what has your quality of life been like, would like to know more about you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Hi Laura and thanks for responding. What a young age you had to go through this - how are you and your family coping now? Tell me about the good days and the bad. My mum really must be one of the lucky ones at 75, I hope you are making a good recovery. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Hi Elaine, Well, it's nice to know your Mum's name.... Maggie is obviously a strong woman .... A lot of us liken our recovery to a rollercoaster ride....some ups, but probably more downs, especially in early recovery. We often use the words "one step forward and two steps back" to describe progress .... that may sound a bit gloomy, but recovery for some of us can be slow and it all depends on how we deal with things mentally and whether we're struggling with any physical disabilities.... however, I've had v.slow, but constant recovery in my nearly 3 years since the SAH and I'm now at a stage where I feel okay about things ..... I don't think that anything could have prepared me for dealing with this and I've learned to take each day as it comes and to be kinder to myself. A lot of us are given the six month rule on leaving hospital, which is basically that you're told that you'll make the maximum amount of recovery in the first six months ..... well, I'm still recovering and I'm nearly 3 years on, so it gives me hope that I'll continue to do so......there are BTG members who are further on then I am and they're also still experiencing recovery...... Sounds as though Maggie is receiving good care, which is great to hear and that will make the world of difference for her.... Anything that you want to ask, then fire away ..... there's plenty of us here that can hopefully help answer your questions.... Well, I'm off to bed .....catch you tomorrow..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted June 16, 2008 Share Posted June 16, 2008 Hi Elaine And warm welcome to the site...... Sorry to hear about your Mum, but glad to hear things seem to be improving all I can say is ditto what the rest have already said to you, I found that improvements came/come in leaps and bounds. I cant remember a thing about what happened to me or about being in hospital even after all this time still have no memory of it at all.... Take care Louise.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Hi Louise Thanks for the contact. Mum is doing remarkably well so all the doctors are telling her. She has some insight into what happened but does not want to know too much detail at the moment. She made a cup of tea and did some washing up in rehab today and if we can get some home care into place she maybe coming home next week. She is feeling very anxious at the moment and does not like me leaving her - she is excited about going home but also very apprehensive about how she will manage. How are things with you now - I see your SAH was some time ago? Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Hi Elaine Great to hear your Mum is doing well, I was also in rehab, making coffee and stuff.... I also was very worried about going home leaving hospital is like loosing the security blanket a bit....I got out at the weekends which eased me into it though. Yes I had mine long time ago, for me its been a constant struggle to get to where I am now, but then everyone is different as I'm always pointing out, they thought I'd be 80% dissabled I'm not there's always constant improvements....... Take care hugs to you and your Mum Louise.xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Hi Elaine That's really good news about your mum - hopefully she'll come in leaps and bounds. I know I was anxious when I was left alone - even in the hospital and it was worse when I got home. If it's any comfort, it is natural after this to feel anxious and worry - I believe it's all linked to post traumatic stress syndrome - my emotions were all over the place for a few months. It does get better though. Take care and keep us updated with your mum's progress. TTFN Sami xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennissmithy Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Elaine, Gosh your mum is doing so well. It is hard when you leave hospital but it does get better. I didn't want Simon to go back back to work but I knew he had to so I got my mum to stay with me until Simon got back but as she suffers from depression I knew there would be days when she struggled so I sort of had patches where no one was with me, I was very anxious but it does get better. In answer to your question earlier on in the thread, my family has adjusted over time and realsie now that I can't do everything like I use too and definitely can't do it as fast. Simon says it is sometimes like living with 2 people called Laura because some days i'm fine and other days I can't do alot and have to sleep and have headaches. Simon would say he has changed and understands that he has to listen to my body as well as me listening to it. Your mum is doing really well- be proud of her xx Laura xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Laura, Ronnie says he's had two wives, A&B the before version and after..... Louise.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Hi Laura It is very plain to me already that SAH's affect people oh so very differently and that progress again can be so different so I guess it's just a case of taking each day at a time - some good and some bad which I have told mum. She is due to come home on Tuesday after OT have delivered her few bits and peices and Intermediate Care have been in touch. I have told mum all about this site though I am not sure how much she has obviously taken in but I will show her the replies that all of you have so kindly posted which I am sure will give her hope. I feel I know you all well already and I only registered last week. Really pleased you all seem to be going along well - you are all very brave people. Elaine x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Hi Elaine Welcome to BTG I hope your mother is improving. I had mine in Sept 02 I was 23 when it ruptured. Hope your mother Margaret keeps improving all the best. Jess.xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Hi Jess - hope you are still going along OK. Mum going along well - she had a balance test yesterday and scored 44/50 - which is really good. She is anxiously waiting to go home now, I think the best rehab she will get will be in her own home and I guess she will have regular CT scans and follow up. It is kind of wierd she is 99% of the time talking very sensibly and then all of a sudden she will throw in something which is nonsense - I think maybe she has been dreaming but it is the same few stories each time. Has anyone else been told they did this at the early stage of their illness? I know she is very lucky if this is one of the things she may be affected by but it just comes out of the blue and she is adamant it really happened so I just go along with it. I hope when she comes home she does not have high expectations of herself as she has always been independent. She is finding that just by watching tv or reading a few pages she gets very tired with a headache. Do the headaches persist? Mum has really never been without a headache prior to this event so they are scaring her now. I have been given to understand that headaches are often not associated with SAH's? Anyway all the best to you and all other members on this site. Will keep in touch Elainex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Hi all - just come acorss the "Headache" site - so thanks for all the info - really useful Elaine x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Elaine, I was adamint that I had been with my Mum & Granny when I asked why hadnt they visited me since to my horror I found out that they were dead, but I couldnt accept this for a long time.......the phycologist told me that when we need to we grab hold of something of comfort to us..... for me leaving rehab 50% couldnt wait & 50% was scared stiff, although as you say when I got home for weekends for me the best form of rehab was being home amongst familar things it was the best thearipy..... Take care Louise.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Helloe everyone Just writing to try and get some reassurance in black and white that I can show to my mum Maggie. The sickness has gradually improved and although as I appreciate it is very early days for her (May2008) she is getting very despondent and tearful. I know she is expecting far too much of herself but having been always independent like all of you no doubt, she cannot accept the way things are. Living alone she says she feels "useless" and feels unable to look after herself and her cat. I am sure this is a confidence thing but she is worrying how she is relying on me for everything but accepts she will never be the same person again. I have tried to tell her she is doing so well - to no avail and I feel helpless to try to reassure her more. She had home care initially but that stopped some time ago when they could see she could make a cup of tea, a sandwich and wash and dress herself. She will not read any information leaflets or The Dented Image book and is just generally worrying about coping when I am not around. (I have just gone back to my usual hours at work) and I think she may be panicking. I have told her all about you guys and that she will get good days followed by bad but I think that at 76 she is struggling to come to terms with what has happened and how she will continue to manage. Being an only child I find it very hard and there is no way mum will have social services in. Her memory was causing her some concern recently and she is worried she will leave the electric cooker on or something. HELP Elaine x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Elaine, what you've just explained, sounds totally normal to me..... it's probably worse for your Mum, because she is elderly and also worries how she's going to contend with that too ..... I can understand where she's coming from, as after the SAH I had often felt as though I had been catapulted into premature geriatric years.... (hope that makes sense).... being tearful and despondent isn't unusual..... I seem to have gone past the despondent stage, but can still have tears .... I see it as a way of venting some frustration.... In the early weeks and months, the thought of being left alone is hard to deal with ..... I don't know of any SAH'er that has felt any differently... there's a lot of fear and fear about how you're going to cope..... As I said previously on another thread, I can understand why she doesn't want to read the book at the minute ..... have you looked on the useful websites (homepage) on this website? .... go to the Salford and Wessex one ..... it has very straight forward or basic recovery info on it ..... If you print it out, Maggie might be able to read that ..... it was the first thing that I read, when I left hospital and all I wanted to digest really, any more than that, would have been too much at that time.... If Maggie needs help (and on v.rare occasions I still do at times and I'm over 3 years post SAH) then you're going to have to convince her that it's the best thing for her .... it won't be easy, I know, as we all have our pride ..... just explain to her, that it doesn't mean to say, that she's always going to be in this position and she will feel better and more able to cope .... bless you both, I can appreciate how hard it is .... If you PM me, I can let you know about some other material that might be of use .....xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Thanks for your reply Karen, I had already printed off the website advice but mum just does not want to read it!!!!!!! I have a folder of info from the day she was teken into hospital together with a diary but I guess she is in denial. Mum has adjusted to the fact that she will feel like this for months and I do not have the heart to tell it it will go on for much longer than that. I will just have to keep working on her. I had another lot of tears tonight. I stay strong all the time I am with her but I feel like collapsing in a heap when I get home. I do not look beyond the hour at the moment. Here's hoping she may have a better day tomorrow. At least I can "talk" to you and others who understand. Goodnight Elaine xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna79 Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Elaine I was indenial that I would ever get better and now 4 months down the line i sort of get my head around things alot better but 2 months ago i just wanted to give in i thought this is my life forever x I am not 100% and know it is going to take time x x x Be strong elaine your being s fantastic support by just being there for your mum and trust me thats the best thing x x having somone there xxxxxxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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