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DOES ANY ONE FIND AS TIME HAS GONE BY THAT YOUR CHILDERN ACT LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED AND THAT YOU SHOULD JUST BE THE SAME AS BEFORE, I FIND MYSELF IN A STRANGE PLACE WITH MINE AND NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY ANY MORE TO THEM OR TO THE REST OF MY FAMILY FOR THAT MATTER, I FIND IT VERY UPSETING THE WAY THEY DISSMISS ME NOW AND DON'T CALL OR MAKE ANY ATEMPT TO CONTACT ME AND WHEN I CALL THEM THEY ARE TOO BUSY... LOOKING FOR SOME FEED BACK OR ADVICE.

XXX EVELYN :mrgreen:

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Hey there

Yes, can sympathise with you totally on this one - is the case of we're walking and talking and that's all that matters. My daughter asks how my head is, but doesn't understand how it still affects me - neither does my husband or my parents. I try to take it as a compliment in that I'm so much how I used to be they don't think about it anymore and I have to admit, it's not my waking thought every day.

Take care and stay well

Love Sami xxx

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Hi Evelyn

Know how you feel my children are a bit like that as well. I think they don't like asking anymore and sometimes just assume I'm alright because I don't really tell them anything different.

I actually raised the subject of my SAH with them the other day but could tell by their reaction that its not an easy topic for them to discuss. Even though my youngest was 21 when I had my SAH it really scared all three of them quite badly. So I think its not that they have forgotten but more they don't want to be forced to remember what was an awful experience for them.

Janet x

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Hi

Janet, I think you've hit the nail on the head there. My two don't really ask specifically, just quickly ask how I'm feeling in general and then change the subject. I was with my dad the other day and told him that it was my two year annie-versary; he really didn't want to know, he was actually visibly upset by the reminder. Most other people are exactly the same and I'm really only just beginning to realise, or perhaps appreciate, how big a shock and what a traumatic experience it was for all the family.

Sarah xx

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Hi Evelyn

I am really sorry but I cannot help this time I had both my children after so they know very little about it.

Yet my husband on the other hand if I say I have a headache very few and far between that I tell him he used to say oh your going on about your head again. Now he realizes it was him worrying more about my head than me because he doesn't say it anymore well thats what i think it is anyway :lol: Evelyn I would really try not to worry though it is there way of coping. Jess.xxx

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Hi

I had my SAH in June, my daughters have been brilliant, but when we went shopping the other week, it was like I had lost my 'authority' and 'control' over them! because I was replying on them I suppose. They are 27 and 25. They do care though and ring me often!

Caroline

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Hi Evelyn

Both of my boys have have there with me when i had my SAH but i never realised just how much it had an effect on them until my 21 year old just burst out crying, it was heart wrenching watching him cry when he calmed down he explained that it was hard seeing me like that but the worst was when i did not recongnised him.

We now laugh about the SAH and my time in hospital as much as it is hard for us i am sure it was hard for them too.

Try telling them that you would like to talk about it and how it was for them.

This is quite hard i know because everyone is different and deals with difficult situations in different ways.

Myra xx

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Because I have totally no memories at all, Ronnie and I do talk about when I took ill not all the time but it helps me remember and I think talking about it helps him too, it also helps me understand what he went through....

Although no children I do know what you mean about families mines just dont see me or keep intouch now and when I do see them I've been told I upset them because of the memories they have woo-hoo lucky them having memories do they know what its like for the person thats had the SAH........ok I know they've been hurt but hey our lifes changed too.....

ok enough because I will go on, on this one.

hugs

Louise.xx

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Hi Evelyn

My two boys were both affected by what happened to me. The youngest was only 7 at the time and it affected him badly. He seemed to bottle it up and it was several months later that we realised how badly it had affected him. My oldest was 12 at the time and he asked lots of questions and he was told him everything he wanted to know and he seemed to understand, although I'm not sure he took all of it in. They couldn't understand why sometimes I was different and couldn't always do things with them that I did before. I think that they craved the attention that I couldn't always give them.

They are both fine now and neither of them is afraid to talk about it. With them both being so young they soon bounced back and I'm pleased to say we enjoy a normal Father/Son relationship. Having said that, they still can't fully understand why I get so tired and irritable sometimes and want to be left alone.

Having my boys around me helped no end with my recovery, even if they did drive me mad ... still do sometimes ;)

All of my family were very supportive, except my Brother spreading doom and gloom at the beginning, but then he did drive my Mum and Dad 250 miles to see me in Hospital. He then realised that things might not be as bad as his 5 minute Google search had told him.

Regards

Keith

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MY KIDS AT THE TIME OF MY EVENT WERE 23, 20,16,14,7 THE OLDEST RONALD HANDLES THE CONVERSATION A BIT BUT UPSETS HIM, THE NEXT CANDAS DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, THE NEXT BREANA HANDELS IT THE BEST, JAMES I AM NOT SURE HOW HE FEELS, AND TIARA HAS BECOME DISRESPECTFUL AND LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS.

JIM ALWAYS LISTENS AND TALKS WHEN I WANT...

XXX EVELYN :mrgreen:

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Like Keith my children were young when my SAH occurred. I still think that the effect on them has been far greater than has been acknowledged by anyone to date. There are people within my family that like your children seem only to relate what happened to me in terms that have them at the centre.

Scott

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My two kids were definetly affected, Lauren especially so, think that she was 14 and Chris was 18 .... Chris didn't really say too much about things, but Lauren needed to keep talking to me, which was fine. I suppose like me, they're were just trying to make sense of it all. Chris spends his time helping me with the techie bits of running this website, so he's quite involved with everything.

They're absolutely fine now, v.supportive and through running this website, we still talk about certain aspects and everything is comfortable. We don't talk about the hospital experience any more and have kind of moved on from that.

As for other family, they don't really understand how things are still affecting me, even though I've always taken the time out to explain. I find myself having to give them quick reminders when there's something that I'm unable to do or having a bad day etc. On the whole, they're pretty good really

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