Seven years - fall back, bounce back, and the same

[iola]

Hi everyone,

 

It has been awhile but I've been on a ride that is hard to explain.  Hit my seven yr mark this year in April and that is a big accomplishment.

 

 However, I started having dizzy spells and one day I felt like either a neuron finally found its mate, in my brain, or some electrical current shorted.  It was not painful but did give me a sensation of twirling quickly and then stopped.  Scared me to death but I knew it was not a bleed because there was no pain.   But, I was like, "what was that?"

 

Head  was heavy and hurt and kept feeling dizzy.  Went to dr and had a MRI and all clear.  Then I realized a few things, I was taking an abundance of vitamins, my stress level was high because of a new project I said I'd work, and my daughter has had some health issues we need to combat, not to mention she is almost 15 and sassy.  

 

I stopped taking  the majority of the vitamins  and started feeling better.  

 

Now, my job.  I have complained throughout the years I need to stop working and I need to push away from stress but something always brings me back to my work.  With the last two months, I held on tight to my job because of the  unfortunate  folks that have lost theirs and my heart goes out to them.

 

 The other is this sense of independence I feel when I work. I cannot say I love it but it's what I know and maybe that's the problem.  As for my daughter, she is my heart and worry about her future.

 

I just read in an article about a woman that had a SAH and she feels it is due to stress and lack of sleep.  It's scary to think what stress can do to the body.  

 

 It tortures the body and brain.    So, I went to see a neuro psychologist and had one session with him and now cannot seem to reach him again so I guess I am seven years too late talking about what happened.   So, that's done.  

 

So so here I am talking to you because, well, it makes me feel better so thank you for listening.  ☺️

 

iola. 

[Catwoman23]

Congrats. Yes stress will do many things to the body. Stay safe. We are open again in carroll county Maryland but I did not venture out . Patients seem to stay home too, they are mostly country folks and seem content. 

[Macca]

Hi Iola,

 

Nice to hear from you again!

 

It's hard to pull away from work, but what I would say to you is consider working differently.  Can you become the traffic police officer - directing instead of doing, delegating and organising, instead of being the worker bee all the time!  just try and do little things that ease the pressure and the stress. I don't know what you do, but usually there are things that can be changed or adapted.

 

Well done for getting to seven years. It will be ten for me in September!

 

Good luck, hope things are well with you and yours,

 

Best wishes,

 

Macca

[Louise]

Hi there

 

nice to hear from you again, and well done on 7yrs achievement be proud.... 

 

sending you every best wish and so glad that posting stuff makes you feel better we're all here to help....

 

take care stay-safe.

[ClareM]

Hi Iola congrats on 7 years lovely to hear from you.

 

I am not sure about stress causing a SAH but I am well aware of the effects of stress post bleed. I think Macca is correct with his delegation suggestion and it may be something to consider.

 

I have had numerous problems with my return to work and a lot of it has been caused by stress. My neuro-psychologist has been very helpful with suggestions on avoiding stress and reducing working hours is probably the one that has helped most. 

 

Pre bleed I worked 41 hour weeks, since then I have gradually reduced my working hours and am just about to start a new job on 22.5 hours. Hopefully I will manage that until I retire. Although I initially fought against less hours as I considered it 'giving in', now I realise that it makes life much more manageable.

 

Take good care, Clare xx

[Colleen]

Hi Iola, it is so nice to hear from you again, though I certainly wish for you to feel better.  I do understand the quandary overly work. I am 11+ years on from my SAH and have been one of the incredibly blessed given the nature of the ruptured aneurysm. I was able to return to full time work, even changed jobs eventually and took more challenges.

 

For the past year I've "planned" to retire about every other day. We took on my husbands elderly mother a couple years ago, have a menagerie of pets, and two houses to take care of. Sometimes it's just all too much. 

 

Maybe be your neuro psych closed for the pandemic. I know my primary care dr was still not seeing patients last week, though  he was doing phone consults. ( yeah, that was weird).  Hopefully your Doc will be back on line soon.

 

Keep in touch, Colleen

[Daffodil]

Iola, 

It’s nice to hear from you, I’m sorry you are finding things troubling at the moment but you are doing the right thing which is to come here and talk , we will listen .

 

stress is rubbish and doesn’t sit well with our damaged brains.  yes we heal, we adapt to change and we go on  to rebuild lives but our resilience to weather emotional trauma I think is never the same, we react differently, it effects us in much more vivid ways and so we have to try and notice both our triggers and our traffic lights.

 

what do I mean? Well for me being around toxic people is a real no no. A trigger which will raise my BP and my cortisol levels , I jettison them fast these days or just exit the situation  ( safer than saying what I feel) which makes me less popular that I may have been previously but I don’t want their complaining, ( I can hear Win echoing that to me from years ago to stay away from those that moan, she was right! ) .

 

also when I do too much or am emotionally strung out my brain shows me in odd ways, stiffness in jaw, pain in phrenic nerve , and I know I need to heed that and slow or stop and take some quality quiet time. Healing space to be kind to me, my body and my brain. 

 

I dont want to run a red light, Ive run so many , it hurts too much, so I pay heed now, it’s all I can share. 

 

I wish you well. 

[Nikki]

Hi!   I also had a SAH 7 years ago, have a 14 year old daughter (and 10 year old son & 2 year old daughter).  I have primarily been a lurker on this board, but I wanted to let you know that I relate to so much of what you post!

I feel the same on the outside but still struggle with word recollection, my memory isn't as strong as was and I have a constant low grade headache.  I strongly believe that stress caused my original SAH, as does a friend of mine who is a nurse.  Ultimately my neurologist told me that I will never know the true reason as I didn't have any obvious reason for my first bleed.

 

Sending hugs and wishing you well.