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Hi All, Adam here


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I had my SAH and subsequent stroke in January 2009, just 7 days before I was due to get married!

I did in fact convince the doctors to let me out, but to be honest I wish I had delayed the wedding, I don't remember most of the wedding, apparently had to go for a nap ,a couple of times through the day and was in bed alone at 8pm in the honeymoon suite!

I remember the day of my SAH well, I was at work and suddenly developed the worst headache of my life, I perservered for 10 minutes the just told my boss I was going home, which was unfortunateley 150 miles away, don't know how I managed the drive, I must have been mad, I remember pulling over a few times to vomit and getting double vision at least once. I would criticise anyone else who had driven in my condition, but in defence I wasn't thining straight. I got home and my then fiance basically put me to bed and treated me for a migraine. Got up the next day, felt ok -"ish" in the morning then went suddenly down hill around lunch time, my GP was excellent, my fiance called the surgery for an emergency appointment, within 5 minutes the GP had called back and said he wanted to see me immediately. He referred me to City hospital in Nottingham where the undertook a CT scan, some junior doctor then wandered along and casually mentioned "well about this bleed in your head" you can imagine the shock, we had to then ask what he was talking about. subsequently got transferred to Queens Medical centre and underwent coiling, I had a stroke during the procedure which they succesfully treated and was the transferred to ICU for recovery.

That was just the begining of the journey to recovery. I am now SAH plus 6 months, am still having lots of memory difficulties and have recently been diagnosed with epilepsy so no driving licence of at least another 12 months. I also suffer from unexplained adrenaline surges, the doctor says its anxiety attacks, but I don't buy it, I'm not someone who would normally suffer that sort of thing, but who knows I think I've changed post SAH!

Whilst I have had a lot of support from my wife and family, but despite their good intentions they just don't get it..I'm sure you all know what I mean. I feel very vulnerable nowadays and am really missing my independence, I wish I could get the old me back

Anyway, I'm glad I found this board, the support group the hospital told me about appears to have fallen off the planet!

A good book I found was "A dented image, journeys of recovery from Subarachnoif Haemorrhage" available from Rutledge publishing.

Anyway, thats enough for now, just wanted to say hi and tell someone who actually understands some of what I'm feeling!

Thanks

Adam

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Hello Adam

Welcome to the family x

I am sure you will find the site a great support x

My name is donna and had my sah April 08...

My family dont understand how I feel and it does feel lonely at times x but thanks to BTG I dont feel alone x

I too am from Nottingham but living at Heanor at present and go to a support group at QMC there is information on here about that also but if I can be any help feel free to message me x x

tc donna

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Hi Adam and welcome! :)

Well firstly, well done with going ahead and getting married .... many congratulations! .... Wow! .... That's amazing, getting married 7 days after a SAH!

The way you're feeling at the minute is pretty typical of many of us, in the early months .... it does get better with time and plenty of patience... Recovery pace is different for all of us and sometimes you feel as though you can take one step forward and then another backward .... but, for many of us here, we're still experiencing good recovery, many years down the line, so don't fret if you don't feel that you're recovering fast enough.

I used to also suffer badly from what you term "weird adrenaline surges" .... I was told that I had an over exaggerated startle reflex and would jump out of my skin, at the slightest thing. I was also put on Propranolol (beta blocker) as my Doc thought that I had anxiety related issues ..... I still get the odd attack of feeling a bit edgy, but my body seems to have now settled down a lot more .....Oh and nobody has ever explained to me either, why I got these attacks....

Re: The patient led support group at QMC ..... I haven't spoken to Elva, (the lady that runs it) for quite a while, but try contacting her again, as she's extremely helpful and very supportive.

Love Karen x

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Hi Adam

And warm welcome to the site....

Yep as Karen says Wow that amazing going through with the wedding many congrats to you both......

Your still very early in the recover stage I know what you mean family and friends 'just dont get it' they I had to teach them how I was after all its not the normal every day thing is it.....

take care

Louise.x

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Hey Adam

Welcome to BTG - and I'll add another WOW!!! Seven days on I barely had the energy to walk to the end of the road.

I'm from Nottingham too - although I was on holiday when I had my SAH so was coiled in Derriford, Plymouth. I was going to go the support group in Notts but didn't feel up to it - thats when i googles SAH and found this site - its been a god send and I've made some of the best friends I've ever had.

Feel free to ask anything you like, we're all here to help in anyway we can.

Take care

love Sami xx

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Hi Adam,

Welcome to this wonderful site and family :D:D

If you have any questions feel free to ask someone can normally answer!

Congratulations on your wedding and married life, you did really well to get married a few days after SAH!

I live in Coventry so not too far away from you!

If you don't mind me asking Adam, how old are you?

Take care and speak soon

Laura

xx

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And yet another welcome from me too. You are now amongst people who really understand how you are feeling, I have found this site such a support over the last 18 months or so, everyone is so helpful and non judgemental about everything and everybody. All of us are recovering from SAH at some stage or another and there is always someone who has had the same feelings or difficulties. Friends and family are superb but must sometimes find it very difficult to really comprehend recovery from SAH as it seems so different in all of us.

Welcome and best wishes

Ann

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Guest BobbyS

Hello Adam

I also am a newbee, these lovely people know their onion's mate. I do not feel so lonely since I posted on this Board. Your story is really incredible, take your time to recovery and we will get back to normal life together. The lucky part of our illness, for us both is that we are survivors with good family support.

Best wishes

Bobby

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Hi All

Wow, what a welcome, it's great to know that there really are other people out there who know what its like to survive an SAH.

Thanks for all your best wishes, and Aww Shucks about the wedding, as I said it was probably too soon, I wasn't really upto it, I was just too ****** minded to lose the money we had paid by cancelling it :)

The thing that made me go looking for this site today was basically a real feeling of a loss of independence. I moved up from Berkshire to live with my future wife just before Christmas 2008, the plan was to work from home 2 days a week and stay in a flat near London Tuesday and Wed night for me to be at my desk Tues to Thursday. I was only back to work after the Christmas break for 2 days before the SAH and I've basically been under house arrest in Nottingham since then.

Pre SAH, I was very independent, I had been a single parent for 18 years bringing up my daughter (she's 19 now), she decided she didn't want to move to Nottingham with me, so I miss her as well. I'm now still off work, have no real prospect of returning to work before I get my driving licence back and even then with my cognitive and memory issues I'm not sure I will be capable of doing my old job. I was the Operations director of the UK arm of a major Australian insurance company. Thankfully I benefit from permanent health insurance so I will remain on half pay as long as the insurance company are satisfied that I am incapable of returning to work. Luckily my wife is well paid and is happy to support me while I recover, but I'm used to being financially independent.

Anyway, enough whingeing, I'm just feeling sorry for myself today!

PS I'm 42 now and live in Southwell which is between Nottingham and Mansfield, thankfully it is a lovely market town and I can walk to the centre fairly easily.

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Hi Adam,

Yes, you do feel as though you've lost all of your independence ...... I still describe the early days of my SAH, as though I had been catapulted into geriatric years, at least 30 years too early!

I also couldn't walk far and my vision was horrendous ..... not being able to drive, felt as though I was being punished even further, but with such bad vision, then I was kidding myself anyway ... think that it was more of the fact that I was told I couldn't do it etc!

I also had seizures at the beginning of the SAH and used to get pretty worried, that when my head felt a bit weird, especially out in public, that I was about to have a fit .... that was something else to contend with and the anti seizure meds were giving me awful side affects too....

As for work, I tried to return at 3 months post SAH (think that I was slightly bonkers!) ...... I knew that I couldn't do it, but didn't want to let people down ..... I only lasted 2 hours and walked out of the building in tears ... I couldn't do it. At the 6 month stage, I still couldn't return. That was a horrible period and it dawned on me, that my recovery was going to take a lot longer, than the time frame that I was told. However, when I finally made that decision, I felt so relieved and it was a heavy weight lifted off my mind.

I was self employed at the time, so had to make the decision, that I wouldn't work. I do the odd days work now, but only temping. I still don't consider myself fit enough to work on a permanent basis, as the fatigue just catches up with me and my dodgy eyesight is still a hinderance, even though it's all kept improving.

May be, I've also made more of an unconscious decision, that I don't want to run around at 100 miles an hour any more ...... A SAH certainly does make you evaluate, what is and what isn't important in your life.

Adam, the work issue is a hard one, especially if you need to be able to drive and most people here have experienced the same .... but, it doesn't mean to say that it will never happen again in some sort of capacity ..... If you're able to manage on half pay, then I would sit back and allow yourself to recover some more and concentrate on that for the time being ..... If the tables were turned, you would happily help support your wife with the same?

The most important issue, is that you get yourself well again and give yourself the time to heal. From my own experience, I've found that the mental issues and coming to terms with what's happened or what's going to happen in the future, just as difficult as all of the physical stuff .... but it does better and your confidence starts to return, as time passes.

Some of us on this website are featured in Alison Wertheimer's book that you mentioned ..... I'm "Karen" in it (as think they're were two other Karen's in it as well) Will have to re-read it one day and see how I've progressed.... :wink:

Hope that you have a better day today.... :) xx

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Hi Adam

I too was admitted to QMC Nottingham in June 2008 - but dont remember much for 6 weeks! I understand totally your wish to return to normality and work and was very keen to get back to my work with Coventry Education Authority, I tried but it soon became clear that my cognetive skills had been affected and I just couldnt think' like I used to anymore, so I have made the decision to take medical retirement and then do something else - not sure what yet but time will tell. In the early days like the feeling of a loss of independance and feeling incredably old was one that I had to come to term with, now I'm feeling much better and stronger, am back in the gym and regaining fitness, though my legs and feet remain numb but hopefully this will improve in time. I also couldnt drive for 6 months - but what a day when I got my license back!

This site really has been a life line to me, the support and advice always there from people who know what it is like!

Take Care

Caroline

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Guest debbie

hi adam and welcome congrats on your wedding i hope you have lots of pics to look back on it is hard thats the good thing with BTG as we have all been thru what you are going thru now you must listen to your body and rest i know as im always getting into trouble because i dont listen but the next day will tell on you i had my bleed in nov 08 and just had surgery for two more to be clipped so i know how hard it is but if you need to chat anytime go in the chat room or pm me ill be happy to chat some more BTG has hellped me thru everything as i had never heard of annies good luck with everything speek again soon

take care xxxx

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Guest Mandy Down

Hello Adam, sounds like quite a journey. good luck with your continued recovery and i hope you find new ways of 'independence'

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Hi Adam,

Re: The Cerebral Aneurysm Group - Queens Medical Centre - Notts

I've spoken to Elva Goddard on the phone this afternoon and she has assured me that the group is still very much "alive & kicking" and welcoming new members. :D

If you would like to contact Elva via email at CASG2005@btinternet.com then she will be more than happy to welcome you to the group and give you details of the meets etc.

I'm not able to put Elva's mobile phone no on the website, but believe that you've probably got that info already, if you would prefer to ring? ...... the phone is never switched off and if Elva or her husband John, aren't available to take the call, then you're welcome to leave a message and Elva will get back to you.

I would definetly recommend meeting other SAH'ers, as it does help and it's also good for partners too.

If anybody else would like more details of The Cerebral Aneurysm Group at QMC, click on the following BTG page link to find the original post details - viewtopic.php?f=1&t=1353

or send Elva a message, via email CASG2005@btinternet.com and she will be happy to help! :)

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