SarahLou

Hi Daff, I totally get all that too. It's 5 years since SAH rocked my world and whilst I cherish every day I do still miss the old me at times. I yearn for the wife, mother, daughter and friend that I once was. Like so many others here I have to plan and pace everything I do, and my lil re-arranged brain still always kicks out to remind me that it has been injured. I've worked hard to get where I am today and I'm very proud of all I've achieved (recently just passed work exams, a tough year of studies, I cried I was so chuffed with myself, I did it!) Fatigue still floors me. I still have headaches and temple pressure every single day. I wake every morning with head pains that take about an hour to ease off. Life is different, but I've learnt a lot about myself and I look at a lot of things very differently now. Many of your posts have given me strength and courage, you've given me hints and tips, especially in coping with (rare!) social situations, I still use my 'trusty survival kit', earplugs, sunglasses, bottle of water and still use my stick now and again when my balance is bad. The best thing I've learnt really is that it is OK to not be OK, I can have these moments when I feel a bit mardy about the way things are because those feelings don't last long, I see the rainbow again, when I look around the people in my life and I know how very lucky I am. We must always keep hope and we must always keep singing! Take care lovely lady, SarahLou Xx

Belated 5th Anni-Versary wishes to you, dear lovely Macca, I hope that you had a great day. Your wise words of wisdom and your support have given me such strength, especially over my return to work/ career change. My world is a brighter place with you in it and I thank you for everything that you do and all that you are. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Belated Happy Anni-Versary Sami, I'm glad that you had a lovely day, life sure is all about making memories and appreciating every day. Your support and strength is amazing.. Thank you. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Thank you Karen, your family, all of the team and everyone on BTG for everything that you do and all that you are. My world is a much better place with BTG in it. SL Xx

Hi Clare, Please please be very proud if all you've done so far, I know how much concentration that CD would have taken. It's such early days yet, please don't be so tough on yourself. Want my honesty... Work still floors me now all these years in. I still have to plan and pace. I'm very mindful of what I do for example on a Sunday, knowing I've work on Monday. I have Tuesdays off but Wednesdays are the craziest busiest days so I know I'll be on minus spoons at the end of that shift and I know I'll have another long shift to get through on the Thursday. Coping with work really is all about planning and pacing yourself , grrroaannnn I hear you scream!!! But it DOES get easier, really it does. Do what you can do for now. Cherish the bits of 'normal', bet you missed that CD balance really!!! Take care lovely lady, remember to fit in some proper relax time. You're doing fab, remember that! SL Xx

Hi Clare, Well done on your first day return to work. You did it! Hope you got the pm I sent you yesterday? It makes such a difference when you're working with a great team. A three hour shift is an amazing achievement, be very proud of yourself. Hope that you're resting this evening and have a lovely bank holiday weekend. Take care, SL Xx

Hi Mandy, It was lovely to meet you on Saturday, I'm really pleased you were able to make it to the meeting. I'm glad that you've seen your doctor and that steps are being taken to get your blood pressure under control. We've a BP monitor at home, have had one for years, a wise investment! I'm sorry to hear about the OH issues at work, very wise words from our Macca. I know how you feel as I went through a simular thing when I was in my previous job. I always took someone else into any meetings with me. Enjoy your week off, take a step back and relax and try to put work to the back of your mind. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hi Tony, Such an inspiring post, thank you. Happy 3rd Anni-Versary, I hope that you do something nice to celebrate. Take care, SarahLou Xx

That's fantastic news Louise, I'm so pleased for you. Well done for never giving up. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hi Gary, A warm welcome to BTG, I'm glad you found us. I can't put into words how much this site has helped me. I looked in on the site a lot but didn't join until about one yr after my SAH. Prior to joining my journey of recovery was a long, slow and often very lonely one. All that soon changed with this lovely bunch. I wish you well with your recovery. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hi Mandy, Bet you're glad that's now over, fingers crossed your results won't take too long. Those little ear plugs are rubbish aren't they! I actually laughed when I was given them, and they asked would I like to keep them! Errr..... No! No help whatsoever on all that noise! Take care, SL Xx

Well done on that 6 hour shift Mandy, I hope you get to rest this evening. I'm always a bit anxious about the scans, recent one took over an hour, luckily the results didn't take too long, couple weeks. Take care, SL Xx

Good luck from me too, I hope all goes well. I've never been offered music to listen to either, during my last scan in my head I was singing times tables !!! Very random and odd, I know! Take care, SL Xx

Hello Mandy, Big hugs and spare spoons are coming your way... Catch! When I read your posts it reminds me so much of myself. It is ok to not be ok. Please do read the 'back to work' thread, start at the very beginning, your'll see so much of what you're going through right there in other members posts. I know exactly how you feel with the joint pain, at times my whole body hurts, my bones hurt. It's the 'new' me that I'm still trying to accept. Cherish those walks with your partner, if walking and talking is too much then stay quiet and just hold his hand. Everything does shift and change after SAH, but please remember you are still in quite early days of your recovery. Don't write off plans you made for your house, just put them on hold. You may still make changes to your home but different ones to your original plan. Ideas will come to mind when you're ready to think about them properly. Instead of an extension you could build a 'relaxation room', just keep puzzles out of there!! Seriously though, well done on that puzzle, that's an amazing achievement. It's always reassuring to be able to get in touch with the Wessex Neuro Nurse Specialists, they really are so caring and understanding. They will put your mind at ease. BTG members will always be here to give you strength, to hold you up when you need support, to listen and 'get it' . You take care lovely lady, and use my spare spoons wisely! SarahLou Xx

Hi Mandy, Firstly.... Great big hugs to you... You are doing amazingly, be very proud of yourself. Returning to work after SAH is not easy. It often feels like one step forward and two steps back. The elation you get from the piece of 'normal' is amazing but your'll also question why do you bother when it floors you so much, when all you can cope with is work, every other normal house hold type of duties almost have to go on hold. It takes a long time for your brain and body to get used to being back at work. Don't be so harsh on yourself, have patience and understanding. Make sure you get proper breaks at work and do the hours that suit you best right now. Read ' a letter from your brain' and look up the 'back to work' thread. I've recently re read it all and I'm so pleased I did as I'm struggling quite a bit myself at the moment. Talk to your OH about hours/ days/ breaks, work together on your return to work, they need you to settle back in the best way possible. It's hard to find the right work/ life balance but you will find it. It's ok to cry, don't bottle those emotions. Cry, rant, rave, whatever. It's good to hear that your vision has settled. I still have vision issues, get dizzy and off balance when I've done too much. It's a good idea to plan your route to the hospital for scan, your'll be less stressed if you know where you are going. I hope the sciatica pain eases off soon, have you had that before? Well done on completing the puzzle, I'm so rubbish at those, can't even do kiddies ones with a dozen pieces! Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hi Carly, I was assigned a Neuro Nurse Specialist while I was still in hospital. She came to talk with myself, my hub and my parents. I was able to contact her anytime, she'd always return my calls, and believe me I contacted her many times in early recovery. My hub also contacted her in the early days when I'd done do much and really suffered, he actually thought I was having another stroke. Also, when I felt I was ready (which was about 18 months after surgery) she went through my whole case with me, explaining everything what happened from the time I was admitted into A&E. Hearing all of that really helped me. Sadly I don't think all hospitals have the Neuro Nurse Specialists. I'm also very lucky as where I was treated (Wessex Neurological Unit) they run support groups too. As for the hair..... I actually took lots of photos (sadly don't have them now as lost on an old phone) it was good for me to have a visual reminder. Wore head scarfs, thick head bands etc. as it grew I'd clip it back. I had my longer hair at the back cut a bit shorter to balance it out a bit as it grew. It's now longer than before it was before SAH! Perhaps you can talk your sister into doing a charity hair cut, raise funds for the ward treating you, you could have a celebration party/ get together before your operation! Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hi Carly, A warm welcome to BTG. I had to laff at your comment about not being able to dye the grey! I'd spent a lot of money having my hair coloured just before I had my SAH and the first thing my best bud said was 'ooooh she's gonna go mad about that'!! One of my first comments was a groan that I'd only just had my hair done! Us ladies eh!! I had ruptured aneurysm clipped in August 2010. I was cut from middle of forehead to my ear, left side, shaved a couple of inches back. Must admit the crazy hair style drove me mad for a while (you can see I've very long hair) and the not being able to dye it for quite some time was a struggle! I do like having colours in my hair. My journey of recovery was a long, slow and at times, very lonely one. Until I found BTG. This site really will give you so much strength and support. Always welcome to join in the friendly chat in the Green Room. I think that it's good to be prepared, look up information you want to, ask as many questions as you need to, for yourself and your family. Do you have a Neuro Nurse Specialist? I can't help with the shunt as I didn't have one fitted, I had hydrocephalus but luckily it was treated with lumber puncture. I'd just like that add that I have had two MRI's since my surgery and they advised me I would likely have MRI's every 3-5yrs as I was under the age of 40 when I had my SAH but I know that every case is different, maybe it would perhaps be worth asking questions about that if you want to. I wish you the best of luck with your operation. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hello Carolyn, Welcome home, I'm really pleased all went well, you've been in my thoughts and prayers. Great big gentle hugs to you honey. Take care, SL Xx

Hi Alison, Thank you for your update, it's been good to hear how you've been getting on. I'm glad that you've been able to surround yourself with loved ones, their strength becomes your strength. It sounds like you're doing well, many positive steps in the right direction. Have patience and understanding with yourself though honey, you will get there. Meditation is such a help isn't it, it's something I found a few years back, and I can not put into words how grateful I am that I did. I love the Italian quote by the way! Stay positive Alison, you're doing fab, be very proud of yourself. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hi Clare, I had MRI in March, I was in scanner for 1hr 10mins plus extra time for contrast to be administered. I had neck scans, brain scans and brain scans with contrast. Have to say I wasn't expecting the contrast ones so that came as a bit of a shock. I would have preferred to have known before due to other health issues but they knew what they were doing and they talked through my concerns. I had clipping surgery at The Wessex Neuro in August 2010. I got my results a few weeks later. I hope all your tests come back clear and you can cherish that much needed holiday. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hey Mr and Mrs Sub, your'll both be in my thoughts and prayers.... Take care, SL Xx

Ah, your welcome Mandy. My hub did the same, he had to give some blunt truths to some people as he knows me best, he's the one that see's the aftermath of SAH that is now a part of me. I'm grateful for his truth and honesty when I myself can't always see it. Take care hun, SL Xx

Hi Mandy, I'm sorry to hear that you've got family issues to try and cope with on top of everything else. My family and some friends have been the same with me since my SAH, it's like they try to shield me. I can understand that in the early recovery days but I do still get it now. I have to give gentle reminders that I can cope, I will cope, and I want to be there to support my loved ones as they've supported me over many years. Yes, some situations I've had to take a step back from because I couldn't cope/ deal with things as I once had been able to. I changed other areas of my life, I stopped worrying about things I couldn't change and had no control over. Friendships and relationships shifted and changed, and I lost people who had been a part of my life for many years. That really upset me at first, but if they can't except me for who I am now then that's their loss and someone else's gain. That's the way I look at it now! Your family will understand that you will want to be kept in the loop, albeit a bit differently to how you would have done before, maybe they need to know you perhaps can't handle the long deep conversations right now but that you are there for them. Cherish the time away with your other half, it'll do you both good to have some proper time together. Take care and keep smiling, SarahLou Xx

Hello Heather, A warm welcome to BTG. It sounds like you have a very stong willed young lady at your side, well done to her for wanting to pick up those books and for you both to be studying together! Recovery journey after SAH is all about baby steps. It's great that she has good support from the school, her friends and her family and support groups. I wish Rebecca well in her recovery. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hi Cat, A warm welcome to BTG. Such a shock for you and your family, you've come to the right place, your'll find lots of support, strength and understanding here. It's very early days for your Mum, all the signs she's showing so far are very positive, knowing who she is and where she is, knowing what's happened to her etc. Hold her hand tight honey, your strength will become her strength. Make sure you take good care of yourself too. We're all here for you and your family. Take care, SarahLou Xx