tammy Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 Im not entirely sure that I fall under this heading of carer, although Im not sure I really fall under any! As many of you know, I am one half of Neil and Tammy (and I am not Neil!). I am still struggling to deal with all that happened to Neil even though it was back in Feb. Its certainly not the same feelings now as then, I know he is here, I know he is well but my own brain sometimes goes a bit crazy in over thinking everything that has happened. I have my days where I cannot understand at all. I still have my cry now and then. I do often feel like a bit of a fake to be honest. Things could have been soo much worst, and looking at Neil now, you would never know what happened on that day. So what right do I have to still feel the way I do? I guess I was very lucky while Neil was ill. Although completely exhausted with commuting to work/seeing Neil in hospital etc, I knew I was going to stand by Neil. It was tricky when he came home as I knew for the first time in our relationship, I had to be the one to do pretty much everything and when in 'normal' every day life things are shared, that was really hard. I dont really know what I am trying to achieve writing this, but I feel I need to start letting it out, start facing what happened head on. I am ok, Neil is ok, we have started our life together as husband and wife having already tested the in sickness and in health part of our vows. Now to find that part in me to face up to things properly. Blimey, typed that without crying! I wonder whether me writing this out, and I will continue to, will help someone else. I hope so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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