Did anybody else lose time in hospital?

[johntaras]

Hi,

I am nearly four months down the road since my SAH. Each day is a blessing as I know how close I was to not being here.

What I find difficult is relating events to time. I have no memory from the 9th November when I went back to bed until about the middle of December when I was in Stoke Hospital. Then my memory is patchy up until Christmas.:redface:

All the content of my time in hospital has come from family members who witnessed my strange behaviour each day. I suffered from Hydrocephalus and it made me unable to do the simplest of things, walk, talk, eat. I just did not make any sense. My memory span was a matter of minutes. I would eventually talk and describe my surroundings as my old place of work not a hospital ward.

Did anybody else experience any similar events to my experiences, did you lose weeks or days where your memory has gone.

I am also finding it difficult to comprehend that after being so poorly I have come through the other side with so many of my faculties, it is a miracle. I run my hand through my hair and feel the two drain hole scars that are the legacy of my illness and the sensitive patch at the side of my head where my Shunt has been inserted.

Please don't think my comments are in any way complaints, I am for ever greatful that I have come through the illness. I realise now how defenceless we are to such an illness as I had no warning.

If anybody has experienced any similar experiences I would really appreciate your comments. I have been told there is a three month waiting list for the Psychologists.

This site is an invaluable source of communication and help.

I find the daily communications a real boost.

[poppy]

Hi John,

My hubby d also lost time in hospital as you do and things are sketchy after that. He as you have asked myself and other people who visited him in hospital at the time to find out how he was and what he was like whilst he was there.

From what I can gather it is pretty much the same for everyone as regards to memory but I could be wrong I am sure others who follow will be able to help you there.

D's memory is still poor and he also has cognitive and assorted other problems but he says he is thankful he is here but wished it didnt happen to him.

D had to wait over a year to see a psychologist but it was well worth the weight.

Anything else we can help you with let us know.

poppy & D

[Louise]

Hi John

Very much so, I still dont remember anything of that time even now 10years on I still have no memory at all from colapsing at home till arriving at the rehab hospital...where luckly I saw a phycologist

take care

[bogbrush]

Hi John.

I am pleased that you are getting some benefit from this site.

My memory of my time in hospital is sketchy to say the least. My family also told me of some of my nonsensical ramblings and we laughed about it later. I didn't loose weeks like you did, but certainly there were a few days when I think I was awake but don't remember anything. I had a few vivid dreams which I can remember quite clearly, but I was never able to separate dreams from reality. I do remember the endless "Who is the Prime Minister?" questions. One day the question changed to "What's the Queen's first name?" "Why, it's 'The' of course" I replied. That's when they knew I was on the mend

An illness like SAH comes as such a big shock and many don't survive, so it's understandable that you find it difficult to understand how you've come through the other side. I felt the same in the early weeks and months and I thank [insert preferred religious or pagan idol here ] every day that I have survived relatively intact.

Regards

[Louise]

Keith, I've just remembered those question but that was my second time in with the menigitis not the SAH where are you? what hospital are you in? where is the hospital? = my answer was something like your the one getting here not me, if you dont know well!!

[Vivien]

Hello John,

I remember only bits of being in hospital and thought the whole thing was a real hoot! I was laughing a lot and kept sitting up when I was supposed to be lying flat. I could not understand why all my family and friends were there and why they kept giving me hugs

It took about 3 months after my SAH for me to realise what had happened and how serious it was. I then went for counselling which was a great help along with this forum.

Vivien

x

[Leo]

Hi John,

I have quite huge gaps about my time spent in hospital - and such a long time it was (6 weeks). People have had to fill in the blanks which can be quite unsettling sometimes though I manage to laugh it off in front of them. But I do remember the oddest things - the nurses who were kind and those who were definitely going for the title of Nurse Ratchett!

You are still very early on in your recovery. And whilst my SAH was two years ago now, I am still recovering. Its a much longer journey than I ever anticipated but I'm very glad wev'e all made it!

Hope you have a good day,

love Leo xx

[Karen]

Hi John,

It's always good to have honest posts and that's the point of this site ... nobody will think that you're complaining, as most of us here will have felt the same.

I had a few blanks during my hospital time, but not to the same extent as yourself.

After the initial euphoria of surviving, I then had problems with medication and what I term as a snails pace recovery, that's when I started to experience the occasional period of low mood. I also wish that I'd had more realistic recovery information and help at the time, as when I wasn't recovering too quickly, I often wondered whether it was me or perhaps I was being lazy or even a hypochondriac! ..... I have always had a tendency to be quite hard on myself and I'm definitely my worse critic, in all aspects of my life. If only I knew then, what I know now, I wouldn't have beaten myself up quite so badly!

Experiencing something that is life threatening, takes a long time to come to terms with, no matter how positive we are as an individual. The psychological issues that spring up after the SAH, seem to be common to all of us to some extent. I think that your mindset changes and you tend to feel that life perhaps, won't ever be the same as before and you've had a taster of how fragile life is.

Coming to terms with what's happened and the period of adjustment, was a hard time for me and coupled with the physical problems that I had to overcome, it could often seem too much at times. For me personally, it probably took me 2 years to feel more confident about everything.

Anyway, I'm waffling on as per usual, but I truly believe that counselling should be offered as the norm, to all survivors of a SAH. I wish that I had been offered the help, especially a year or so, post SAH, rather than having to struggle. However, it was probably at about that point, that I realised that it was good to have communication with other SAH'ers and BTG was set up in Aug 2006. It's been comforting to me personally and to be able to turn a bad experience into a positive one, makes the past few years feel worthwhile. Glad that you're finding the website useful! xx

[Super Mario]

Hi John, I totally lost 8 weeks and then have only a few memories of the ensuing months. I also presented with bizarre behaviour and comments. Like you I have been told by my relatives, so it is just hearsay really.

I also have a shunt and that area is no longer tender but I still have a habit of of poking my finger into the hole where the emergency drain was inserted (I had dropped into a coma and had to be put in in a matter of minutes)

I went through a period of thinking "why me" but as time has passed I have come to accept it happened, you can't turn the clock back. Even though it left me disabled I now live life to the full the best I can and enjoy it.

[johntaras]

Afternoon everyone who sent me a note. All the comments make sense and your quick responses just some up one of the most positive aspects of this wonderful site.

To get replies from people you have never met but communicate with via this medium is very supportive.

It helps to read about other people having experienced what you went through. I feel for my family because while I was away with the fairies as I often say they experienced each and every high and low.

Listening to their stories you can see from their faces the distress it caused at the time. My youngest daughter stoppped coming to see me because it was just to painful.

I thank all the staff at the hospital who cared for me round the clock and made my recovery possible.

Thanks again to all of you for your comments; Karen, Keith B, Leo, Louise, Penny, Poppy and S, Vivien.

Having described the nurses as the sugar fairies during one of my moments I know I was in a distant place.

[rod123]

Hiyer John, Merrill does'nt remember much of the last year, she has very little memory of her time in hospital but she says she can remember having a couple of dinners there (don't know if they are good memories or bad) Merrill tends to remember the special things (for want of a better way of putting it) we do or places we go but the every day things she still has trouble remembering, The hospital stay may not be a bad thing to forget as it's never going to be a good memory, but i can understand how that would bother you,i think Merrill oftengets confused with time because there is no memories of recent time hopefully that will improve with time, Good luck John, Rod

[Louise]

Rod, thats how I look at it, I dont remember much if anything of that time, but who wants to remember what happened, all the pain and stuff I know I'm happy not knowing what happened to me. they say its the brain's way of protecting you.....

[norma66]

Hi John & all

i do agree that this site is great when you need to ask questions and the response is brilliant. I think the same sometimes that people might think i complain too much but this is the site where it is allowed

I don't write much on the site most day as sometimes i don't have the energy. but it's great to read other peoples storeys and how they are coping.

As for remembering much in the hospital like many on here some of the time in there I can't remeber. It's only when family talk to me about it. the prime minister bit i remember well because I could'nt answer that one lol. who is our prime minister? I still get laughed at about that

hugs norma

[KelBel]

Hi John

I have only short periods of time from my hospital stay that I have not been able to recall...but I know I had 3 boring long days where I had no visitors due to the snow!!... other than that I do recall quite a lot of what happened, altho in some ways that does come back to haunt me a little. I will suddenly remember the feeling of the oxygen mask on my face, and me trying to get it off as I was coming round from the anaesthetic! I was in for just 10 days though.

Oh yes! I do recall the daily questions; what day is it? do you know the date? what month are we in? what year is it? who is our monarch?...

I agree that a psychologist should be appointed for all survivors, to help make sense of your feelings and assure you that your feelings are not unusual in this kind of traumatic situation. I have seen a counsellor on 3 occassions now and that has been a great help.

It is invaluable being able to post a question or have a little rant on this site, knowing that everyone can understand in some way what you are going through or feeling. It is amazing how much it means to have that lifeline, when people around just do not or cannot comprehend what you are going through.

Take care

Kel x

[johntaras]

Hi Kel, I don't remember any of my operations or the recovery, I was told I pulled out my drain so it meant I had to go back into theatre to have another drilled and fitted. It just means I have twin scars in my head.

Rod I hope Merrils memory improves over time, but it is good that she remembers the special things. Thanks for your comments.

Norma sorry you are struggling with energy, it is still very early for you in recovery time, hope things improve for you soon.

Thanks for all your comments and advice, it is much appreciated.

[Skippy]

Hey there

All I remember is the popping sensation, the passing out (or rather the waking up), then the horrendous pain, vaguely remember being taken down the stairs in a chair and then nothing til I woke up two days later - after that its patchy as to when I slept, when I woke, who came to see me when. I remember all the prime minister and what day is it questions and I remember being taken off HDU. I was in and out within a week and have no lasting affects really - other than the occassional headache and strange twinges. My memory was terrible when I came out of hospital but it's gradually got better - and here I am 3 1/2 years later and all's fine and dandy really - other than still feeling rough if I do too much - but I'm back at work full time and have no real problems. I've had the occasional flash back that made me panic a little but nothing serious since the PTS 3 weeks after my SAH - I was given counselling almost immediately and found this brilliant site too.

I hope you continue to recover well.

Edited March 4, 2010 by Skippy
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