Newbie here! - Katie

[paul99]

welcome katie

im sorry i haven't welcomed you before now i hope you enjoy the site and friendships you will evolve here take care hugs and cuddles

[Ern]

Hi Katie.

Welcome to the site.

you will make friends here. everyone knows how you feel and has a pretty good idea of what you are going through.

Ern

[Katie_Todd]

Hi guys, wow your quick at replying! lol

BPD stands for borderline personality dissorder and CBT stands for cognitive behavioural therapy.

The CBT is a form of councilling/psychotherapy. Basically it just teaches you to look at things differently, a bit like re-programming the brain. So say before I found out that someone didn't like me for some unknown reason, I would find it very hard to deal with it. But after CBT you are supposed to be able to look at things as though 'hey, so what, if you don't want to get to know me then thats your problem'. I've been working on that myself for a long time and its so difficult to push past what was the 'norm' and to take a different outlook on things.

You'll find that I'm a very open person. A lot of people say I'm too trusting but I don't see why I should feel the need to keep anything from anyone, I just don't want people thinking that I open up on a forum as a way of saying 'poor me', I'm not like that at all.

As I'm sure you all agree, we may say something in our words that helps someone else out there. Whether they're suffering from an illness or a situation in life its always good to know you're not alone.

I'm even thinking of writing a book one day about my '7 years bad luck', I swear I must have broken a mirror or something! lol

All the best

Katie x

[sallym25]

Hi Katie,

Firstly welcome.

I've been reading through your posts over the last few days and I think that , for someone so young, you seem really clued up on life.I wonder if thats resulted from the CBT you were talking about. I think this could be a help to me too. Who should I contact to ask about it. I've never heard of it before. I was sorry to read about your brother and your subsequent problems. everyone deals with things in a different way and as someone said in an earlier reply, If there had been more help for you at that time you may have taken a different road. I'm sure you will be an asset to us all here. Look forward to reading more from you.

Sally x;-)

[KelBel]

Hi Katie

I am hoping to get some CBT via the counselling I will be starting next week; that's if they agree I do not need specialist Neuro counselling, which I do not think I need.

I think I just need someone to help me re-frame my thinking, and to stop getting so angry about other people's ignorance of our situation, and angry about the fatigue too, which stops me being able to do all I want to do.

I think it is great that you have felt able to open up on here with everyone. It helps people to understand where you are coming from and how they may be able to help you.

I hope you continue to find this site a source of comfort. We are all incredibly grateful to Karen for setting it up!

Take care

Kel x

[Liz D]

Hi Katie

I agree with Karen, it's not your fault you had a SAH, the weakness in the artery was most likely there from when you were born. Given the right circumstances I think we could all succumb to some kind of addiction, be it drugs, alcohol, shopping or food.

You have survived such a lot, you are one tough cookie! I'm so sorry you lost your brother. My daughter studied CBT as part of her phsycology and music degree. She found it actually helped her, as she's quite a sensitive person. She said it's hard work and takes a lot of effort but the rewards are huge.

Take care.

[Vivien]

Katie, my daughter is 25 and has BPD, I was told that she will grow out of it, she also had CBT which definitely helped

From your posts I reckon that you are coping very well with it and are getting better as you get more understanding of how your mind works.

Good Luck

Vivien x

[Karen]

Hi Katie,

Thanks for the explanation! It's always good to see honest posts on this forum, as it definitely helps others who are experiencing the same and that's what it's all about. Glad that you've felt comfortable enough to be able to talk about it here. xx

[Skippy]

Hi Katie

Not sure whether I've already welcomed you - so welcome to the site and to the family - If I've already said that to you - then you're honoured

I agree with the others - you cannot blame yourself or your actions after your terrible loss for what has happened. Surely that would mean every person addicted to drugs would suffer an SAH. This thing knows no prejudice and certainly doesn't punish people - its just one of those awful things that happens.

I led a fairly healthy lifestyle before - tho I drank (still do) and smoked (still do) - there were times when I was younger I was what you'd call a "binge drinker" - out with my mates every weekend getting toasted, but by the same token others that did it with me haven't suffered an SAH - it is just one of those awful things. And Karen's right - no one on here will judge you - we're all in the same boat and our aim is to support each other.

You'll find a lot of support here and meet some wonderful people and make some amazing, lifelong friends.

Take care hun and I look forward to talking to you more.

[Katie_Todd]

Hi guys,

Sally, I spoke to my Dr about getting some form of help. To be honest I was confused with what I was supposed to be talking to the neuro psychologist about, so I ended up ranting about the problems I had in life before the bleed... I think he thought I was a bit bonkers, but put a word into my dr about me needing to see a therapist lol My issues haven't all resulted from the bleed but it deffinately made things a bit harder! If you speak to your Dr I'm sure they will be able to help in some way or another.

I haven't had any CBT sessions yet... well actually thats a lie. I went to an appointment over a year ago and the woman told me that she couldn't help me. Now I've been referred again and have met the psychologist I will be working with, I think I will be able to get somewhere. He is a lot more understanding that the last person! Also, different psychologists use different techniques... I wouldn't be able to work with someone who just sits there and waits for me to say something, but thats how some of them are. If you do get CBT or any other form of therapy don't be afraid to ask for someone else if the way they do things doesn't work for you.

And thank you to everyone who has said that it isn't my fault that I had the bleed. I do understand that, and I don't punish myself for it or blame myself for it happening, but I know that it wouldn't have happened at that age if it wasn't for the cocaine. It was a birth defect so would have happened some day, and like I said, I'm glad in some ways that it happened at the age of 22 as it probably made my recovery just that little bit easier. What I had was a 'very large bleed' (surgeons words, not mine lol) and I am extremely lucky to still be here, and for that I am very greatfull!

The powers that be weren't completely with me on the day though... my ex rang the on call dr when I started clobbering myself round then head... then him when he tried to restrain me lol. It took them several hr's to get to our house (I don't know why though), she said I was having a panick attack and doped me up with diazepam and then went on her way, which just made the paralasys even worse! I was sooo tempted to sue her for a misdiagnosis... I think a blind man could have seen that something was seriously wrong! Then at about 5pm the next day an ambulance arrived to take me to hospital where I was given a CT scan and imediately diagnosed.

My GP surgery messed up BIG TIME, my mum heard later that week that another lady had a bleed and was dead within 2 hrs. I count myself as VERY lucky!!!

I don't know why I got onto talking about the night it happened :s lol

I hope you are all having a good weekend!

Katie x

[JayKay]

Hi Katie

I am hoping to get some CBT via the counselling I will be starting next week; that's if they agree I do not need specialist Neuro counselling, which I do not think I need.

I think I just need someone to help me re-frame my thinking, and to stop getting so angry about other people's ignorance of our situation, and angry about the fatigue too, which stops me being able to do all I want to do.

Take care

Kel x

Not wanting to hijack the thread, but wanted to respond to Kel: I didn't think I needed neuro counselling either.... until I started it!! I am finding it very helpful indeed because at first I thought oh I'm fine, I survived this, so I'll be ok. But now I've started I realise I have been in denial about how serious it was etc. It's really good

Hi Katie (another one here who can't remember if I welcomed you already!). Hope you continue to get the help you need!

Take care.

[maggie]

Hi Katie I hope you get the help you need and deserve. You have your whole life ahead of you. It's wonderful to read your positivity about an experience which could have crushed you. I know the future won't be easy for you but you come across as a very brave person with alot of personality which now your 'clean' can shine through.And when you have recieved help with all your problems hopefully you will allow yourself to be happy and embrace your new life. Maggiex.