Daffodil Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 (edited) So I potter along most of the time , slower than the old me, a little frustrated that I can't do what I do but tempered with the gratefulness that I am still here. I like others found you could fall off a cliff post SAH with regards to support but have been able to get some great help from Headway and my GP , counselling from my company and because of my hydrocephalus have access to some great staff at my hospital who will always listen. I feel very lucky and have come such a long way since last march. Add onto that the meditation I do, the pacing I am learning and I feel I am doing ok. Thing is that I think the brain always has the upper hand and I got taught that lesson again sharply this week. I wasn't going to write this but figure it might help me get rid of the horrible feelings a bit. I thought I had been pacing things pretty well but I think all the emotion of dealing with my mum and dad's health issues, a slight increase in hours at work and just general mum stuff, well you get the picture, maybe I wasn't doing as well as I thought I was. The upshot was That earlier in week my husband felt he needed to dial for an ambulance because I became very very unbalanced, disorientated very quickly and began to struggle with words after feeling off colour for a few days. Everyone was thinking a blocked shunt but I'm pleased to report I'm ok. So I'm back home , a little sheepish even though they all told me I did the right thing but feeling battered emotionally( and bruised) for the A&E experience which was just awful but pleased there's nothing worse going on. Thing is in my rational head I knew there was major nothing going on , I genuinely didn't think I was having a bleed nor that my shunt wasn't working but but the very physical and real symptoms persuaded family and medics otherwise and scared me witless. I can see that we needed to take action and I'm pleased of course that I got help , but I hate , hate , hate those feelings that run away when the physical symptoms take over. I also hate it's scared everyone around me so much. Kids not happy Anxiety? Maybe, no one is that sure. I am going to try some CBT to see if that helps after talking with GP and I'm due for consultant check up next week so we will check out stuff then too. it Could just be a nasty virus that is taking its toll on my still recovering brain as I felt very very hot in my head. So not sure what to gain by sharing this, I know you marvellous lot will reassure me which means a lot but does anyone else have moments that their brain just won't respond to any of the calming logical steps that you take to talk your worries down, mine listens mostly but this week it was like ' no messages can be taken at this time'.... Edited December 5, 2013 by Daffodil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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