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I feel my subarachnoid haemorrhage got me twice!

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It's been a while since I posted and a lot of water has gone under the bridge.

Sadly I am now Ill Health Retired from my job as an Assessor / Trainer at the local College a job I loved because I class myself as a good people person.

I did get back to full time working after my November 2009 SAH in March 2011 and felt really proud of myself. I had done the chasing to return to work not my Employers. But I soon found difficulty in maintaining a five day week and had to drop down to four days. This cost me £5000 salary.

On I soldiered but found that the volume of work I was expected to complete in four days was nearly five days worth. I did not get a move to a campus based role even though this was reccomended by Occupational Health.

In October 2012 I had a mental breakdown and went off sick. My employer sent me to OH after three months absense and again at six months. Their conclusion was that I would be unable to complete my duties now or in the future to a level of gainful employment.

I was left with little choice but to accept Ill Health Retirement or expect to br dismissed on medical grounds. I was very unhappy about this and do not feel they helped me enough or understood the consequences of what had happened to me because luckily for me I looked normal.

But it is the hidden things that affect me. Fatigue, multi tasking, driving. My intellectual ability was left intact, this worked against me as did my willingness to take on work. I was supposed to have been protectec from myself.

I have used the title because I would have accepted what has happened more easily if I had experienced retirement in 2010 rather than three years later in 2013.

I am still very grateful to have survived and will never say why did it happen to me?

I found until recently after what happened to me in October 2012 that I had no desire or urgency to do anything and gained more weight. But about five weeks ago I began to go for a daily walk down to Morrisons for my daily newspaper, this gives me about 30 minutes exercise each day and I hve lost 1 stone and 3 pounds.

I am now motivated daily to exercise and have found my mojo again. :-P

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Hi John :)

Good to see you posting, but very sorry to read you have had to retire due to ill health.

I admire you greatly for getting back to full time work and doing what you did.

Really pleased to read you are now motivated daily to exercise and have found your mojo again. :biggrin:

Take care and look forward to hearing more from you.

Tina xx

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Hi John,

I too am sorry to hear about your Ill Health Retirement, and can fully understand how you feel, as you say, acceptance after your SAH would have been easier rather than dealing with this blow now.

It's fantastic to hear that you've found your mojo and that you're doing so well with the exercise and weight loss, that's brilliant, be very proud of yourself.

I really do believe that everything happens for a reason and whilst one door has closed at the moment others will open.

It's been lovely to hear from you again John, please keep us updated.

Take care and big hugs to you.

SarahLou Xx

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Hi John

lovely to hear from you, so sorry about your ill health & retirement..

welcome back to the MoJo...

Yes I do know how you felt, work wasn't an option for me (they made me redundant while off ill) but now I know I couldn't have went back so it was ok and I'm glad...

keep intouch.. take care

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Hi John,

John I hope this is a blessing in disguise for you.

You lost weight (she says wishing it was me)

You might find a part time job with less stress John.

Whatever happens I wish you well, a new beginning !!

My Mum always said "1 door closes another opens"

All the best

WinB143 xx

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I'm so sorry you had to take medical retirement, John. As a teacher, I know how much my role in the lives of my students defines who I am.

Now you have a great opportunity to redefine yourself as a new person. It might mean you find a way to mentor as a volunteer, or you go into a whole new type of life. I don't know, but it sounds like you took some time to mourn and you're ready to move forward. I envy you in a way. I love who I am and what I do, but sometimes I feel like it is slowly killing me, but not enough to take disability.

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Hi John,

I was just passing through and saw your message. I am sorry that this has happened to you. I too seem to have a rough October and had some neuro psychologist testing done and did not fair well on it at all. I was told it was time to apply for disability. I have to say I was rather shocked and upset by the bluntness & truth of it all but really the therapist has been a God send for me. She has really helped me refocus on what I need to be doing. It is a darn shame I could tell people what vaccinations their dogs needed but I could not plan a meal at home.

I have had reduced my hours several times and right now work weekends when no one is there. If you want to pm me for what I have had to do to get my life in order please do so. It has taken a bit to unwind and decompress but finally feel like I am at least starting to have a life again. Well until noon everyday! I cannot seem to balance the taking care of myself as I needed to and having a job both. It was one or another and in the end I agreed my brain was more important.

Take care, Maryb

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Hi John,

Sorry to hear that you have had to retire. I hope this has helped you health-wise even while it has no doubt floored you financially. Working is shockingly difficult so well done for sticking that out for so long. Like Mary, I have recently reduced my hours, I've gone down to 31.5 each week and while this has definitely helped, it's still exhausting to get through each week.

Looking 'normal' definitely has it's draw backs doesn't it! I remember when I first joined BTG, I used to wish I could wear a badge or something...'please be patient with how slowly I walk, I've had a brain haemorrhage' or something like this:oops:

Well done on the weight loss :cool:

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