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Life changing decision after Life changing event?


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I am curious to know if anyone(after their life changing event) took the decision  to change life further by moving house, changing career.for example, Edwwyn Collins (70s/singer) moved from London up to Helmsdale in Scotland,,after his Sah. one of my customers in my shop moved to Cyprus after having a stroke.

 

John and I have discussed moving many times, before and after sah (strangely enough, one of the places we have always wanted to move to is Helmsdale.)

 

I look forward to reading your replies/comments/thoughts on this

Jan xx

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Hi Jan

i changed jobs after my nasah which I'm sure I wouldn't have done had it not happened. Life changed immeasurably for me and relations at my old job became strained. I was always the one to take control and lead and suffered from the stress of doing that.

 

My old boss had been a good friend and was with me when I had my SAH. But eventually I think she got fed up with me being 'ill', we fell out and I decided to leave. The move has overall been good but not without stresses. Learning a new job at my age has not been easy but I am lucky to have the support of my new employer - the NHS. 

 

My whole outlook has changed since my SAH, I have different friends, job and much better relationships with my family. You certainly realise who the important people are. I'm also hoping to move in the next year or so - More changes! 

Clare xx

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I have moved three times since first time was actually still in hospital second moved to somewhere else in Wolverhampton. lastly moved back to brownhills staying here now we are really happy xxx

And still in same job xxx

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Hi Jan,

It took me 14 months to return to work after my SAH, I did a long phased return. It was tough, very tough. I'd returned to a job I'd loved and done for 20 years but I soon felt uneasy, that something wasn't right. So two and a half years ago I went for a complete career change, even coped with studies.

 

Yes, it's hard, exhausting, many times I'd doubted I could carry on. Work still floors me, but it stretches my brain, I've seen improvements in my memory issues. Myself and my family are very proud of how far I come.

But it does come at a price.

 

I'd love to move, but that's not an option due to other family health issues.

My advise is if you want to take a leap of faith do it! Don't ever look back and think 'what if'

 

You've family, friends and all us lovely lot to give you strength and support!

Take care,

SL  Xx

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  • 4 weeks later...

Thank you for all your replies, sorry it's taken so long to post my reply, Ill blame memory loss !!

 

Sarah Lou, where do you find your stamina and positivity? You are one strong lady. I would love to take that leap of faith,who knows?I would love to move,but I'm not sure where I would find the energy!!

 

I have always admired Richard Branson, both as a businessman and an all round decent human being, I love his saying 'screw it, let's do it', this worries John occasionally! But I dont want to look back with any 'what ifs' or 'if onlys'

 

Jess, youve proved to me that it is possible I think once would be enough for me though! 

 

Clare, that must've been a huge decision for you I admire your guts for doing that Oh and youre so right, we do learn who the important people are and those who are there for us, no matter what.

 

Louise, did you move within Scotland? have you ever stayed in Helmsdale? Many many years ago, the distillery and the lighthouse were  for sale, we never made it up to take a look,.  That's a big 'what if/if only.

 

Jan xx

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Not taking the mick or anything Jan but life changing events for me are "What shall I have for lunch" you see making a decision was so hard for me when I first came around. (Ventriculitis didn't help)

I used to ask my hubby everything and I must have got on his nerves after a time.

 

Now I make a decision yeahhh!!  but no life changing ones apart from wanting to move  back to north of the River Thames.  I mean Essex. lol

 

I want to be nearer to my Family as I appreciate how good they were to me and how much I Love them xx Whoo a pig flew overhead.(As it will never happen). 

Love

Win xxxxxx

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Hi Jan,

 

Only just seen this - I had my haemorrhage 19months ago and started my phased return to work as a Secondary School teacher in September. I spend a whole year on my phased return to my teaching post and my head of year role.

 

In April I was offered the opportunity to apply for a promotion to be deputy head of KS3. After weighing up all the pros and cons I went for the job and got offered the promotion. My main reasons for going for it were that it was a role that interests me and also that it comes with a higher free period allocation so I will not spend all day teaching, but will have some time doing other tasks.

 

This mix of teaching and other tasks suits me more now post-haemorrhage as a full teaching day is not possible for me now. My school were also good enough to offer me the post part-time so I now work 4 days with a Wednesday off. On the four days I am in work I only teach a couple of periods and then do some other work.

 

I am currently on summer break and next academic year will be the real test of how I handle this new role and being back in work so we shall see how it goes.

 

I think a life changing event such as an SAH puts a lot of things into perspective. It certainly has done for my husband and I. My husband is currently head of subject at his school and he is looking to change his role and to going back to just teaching and this is what he wants to do and he wants more time free to enjoy life.

 

We both agreed after my haemorrhage that we would focus on what we really wanted in life - spending time with each other and our family and friends.

 

Gemma xx

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Hi, thank you again for your comments and thoughts.

 

Win. I think I left my decision making skills in my hospital bed !  Never say  never, you may just make that move.

 

Jess Its good that you're happy and settled now. It must've been really difficult having made a move and it not being right for you.

 

Gemma,where do I start?  I admire you greatly for teaching in a secondary school, what a stressful job, but I admire more the fact that you have gone back to it ?

 

Thank you all again

Jan

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Jan it was an experience one I will never regret because if I hadn't moved me and my husband would never of lived together and I would never of had Garry and Shayne, and they are my life and worth every bit of sadness of living with my husband and in Wolverhampton and you know I would do it all again to have my boys xxx

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On 8 July 2016 at 7:55 PM, jess said:

I have moved three times since first time was actually still in hospital second moved to somewhere else in Wolverhampton. lastly moved back to brownhills staying here now we are really happy xxx

And still in same job xxx

Hi Jess 

Im in Wolverhampton too. I'm still in same house and same job although cut down on my hours. This September on the 1st anniversary of Bertha (name given to my sah) we are having a birthday party at work. Strange I know but my way of celebrating life ? 

 

Kerry 

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I forget mine, not intentionally but I say to my Family "was it the 29th July" ?  and they go "tut she is on about it again" lol

I say a few nice words to them and they get my meaning, they like to forget that time but I have no option as I don't remember a thing. lol

 

All I know it is so good to be here and sing to you All ha ha xxxxx  j/k xxxxx

 

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On ‎03‎/‎08‎/‎2016 at 11:07 AM, Jan said:

Gemma,where do I start?  I admire you greatly for teaching in a secondary school, what a stressful job, but I admire more the fact that you have gone back to it ?

 

Thank you all again

Jan

 

Thank you Jan :-) To be honest going back to work in a school has not been as bad as what people might think - actually teaching some lessons and then having a break suits me well.

 

Take care,

Gemma

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  • 2 months later...

So many positive comments ? I've just gone back to my job as a Teaching Assistant in Year 2. I did a short phased return, but only work part time. Its great to be back & all my colleagues have been really supportive. An experience like this certainly does make you realise who & what are important in life.

 

I'm getting remarried to my ex husband next year❤ we'd been back together a long time, but marriage didn't seem that important before. A move isn't on the cards, but hopefully travelling & visiting new places is. I'm just so grateful to be here, I want to make the most of every day. Be happy everyone ?

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  • 6 months later...

Jan

 

I'm actually on this forum as part of my research for the church service I will lead on Sunday - the talk is around Thomas the apostle - he who doubted - and it occurred to me that doubt is something we, as SAH survivors, grapple with.  Can I do this?  Can I cope with this?  What will happen if I find I can't?  Etc, etc, etc....................

 

Anyway, I came across your reference to Helmsdale in your post and that made me think a bit.  I spent my young life growing up in the splendour of the hills of Sutherland - not so very far from Helmsdale!   I think my heart is still there and I return when I feel I need to -  during the breakup of my first marriage, after I met my second husband and, lastly, following my SAH.  Going back assuages my soul somehow and, at times, I hanker after a complete return for good.  Life is simpler, slower, there.  Folk seem to have time to care and I am sure this extends into healthcare too.  

 

What stops me?  A husband who just will not consider it - too cold, he says and no opportunity for his sailing!  But also, it is really remote. Beautiful, but really remote.  Far, far from my children and grand-children and I so value their part of my life.   I simply would not see them so much.  

 

If I were lone, I would go back at the drop of a hat and spend the rest of my years there  - maybe that's what your singer did - but I am not alone - even though at times it feels so.  For the moment, I have directed in my will that my ashes should be scattered on the hill I loved behind my childhood home in Rogart in Sutherland.  That's enough for me - to be home at the end!

 

 

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