Jennifer - PTSD/Will this happen again?

[Jennifer]

I am two years post SAH and still have what I would consider to be PTSD from the entire event. At times I feel cognitively different and struggle with thinking I am not as sharp as I once was prior to my event. I'm not sure if this is real or me obsessing over this unnecessarily.

 

I think about my illness frequently and feel like I am living in fear of this happening again although I know this is not what I have been told by my doctors.  I would think after two years these thoughts should go away. Does anyone else have thoughts on this?

[jess]

Jennifer you are still early on in your recovery I still have feelings like that and I am 14yrs out they just aren't as frequent at two years I was a mess xxx

 

Try to relax drink plenty of water and when you feel you need to rest then rest xxx

 

Hope things improve soon xxx

[ClareM]

Hi Jennifer

you are definitely not alone in your feelings. I am not quite 2 years and still feel very much the same as you.

I have definitely changed , I'm not as sharp but am beginning to accept that. 

 

I sometimes wonder if I should try and forget I ever had a bleed and everything that went with it. I tell myself to act 'normal' be like I was before. But at some point I realise I can't do that. It may be the fatigue or my memory but something always pulls me back to remind me that I have a 'new normal' now. 

 

I think that maybe that's our brains way of telling us that it still needs time. 

 

I totally understand how you feel that's because I feel that way too, as do many other people here on BTG.

 

You have come  to the right place for advice and help.  

 

Tell us more about yourself and your bleed if you feel able. Look forward to hearing more from you. 

Clare xx

[Tina]

Hi Jennifer

 

At two years I was also struggling just like you. You are still in the early stages of recovery.

The fear of it happening again even though we are told it wont is only natural after such a life changing trauma.

 

Have you thought of asking your Dr to arrange some councelling for you? I know it really helped me and many others here, just to talk things through. PTSD is very common after SAH. You are not alone and have definitely come to the right place for help and support.

 

Look forward to hearing more from you.

Take care

Tina xx

 

 

[Graham Oxburgh]

Hi Jennifer,

 

I am one year out and can relate to much of what you are saying.  Sometimes I wonder if I am obsessing about how I feel, sometimes I feel great, and the constant "encouragement" of others telling me I look and appear fully well makes me want to say, "Well actually things are not always what they seem ...."    ~It is a bit of a bizarre journey. 

 

For me I am trying to work out my new norm and am trying to be content with that.  I find it very interesting how many people say after two years, "...so early on in your recovery."    Perhaps for all of us now we are not "ill", we are "different", and "different" doesn't have to be bad!

 

Take care.

 

Graham

[Winb143]

Hi Jennifer,

 

I was so scared when I awoke after having shunt put in.

That was before I found this site, well my Daughter did and it helped her and it has helped me no end also.

 

To know you aren't the only one and life still goes on.  Look at us on here,  we have all been through it and have come out the other end.

 

We can still laugh and rant on here if needed, I look upon this site as my safe haven.

 

I was so scared when I found out what had happened to me, as I did not remember a thing.

 

So we are the ones who made it so be of good cheer or else I'll sing to you lol..not a pleasant sound.

 

Good luck

 

Win xx

 

[Daffodil]

Jennifer, glad you found us and welcome to the site.

 

When our brains bled there was no warning and then later the conciousness of the ccognitive changes that have been wrought plus the submission we gave to all the hard medical procedures together with the cocktail of drugs and often prolonged medical stayovers, well I guess what I'm trying to say is that this all leaves an indelible footprint . Its an experience that changed us.

 

it doesn't define us though but the memory of things and experiences can be triggered in different ways and in turn that has a very physical effect. I was diagnosed with PTSD after about a year and a half and that was following my second lots of counselling. First was through work and was just dealing with the day to day trauma I was experiencing but later it was clear that my triggers were all out of kilter and I had CBT through my GP. 

 

 If you haven't asked for counselling before now then I really suggest you see if that's a possibility and in the meantime find and explore ways to slow yourself down when the racing feeling is upon you. I use a combination of mindfulness, mints ( win's top tip ) and self massage( spelt it right today!) . I also ground myself with what I can see, hear, smell in that moment. It works honestly. 

 

Things are going to I mprove. You will have less fear in time. Time really does put distance , the scars will always remain, yes they will fade but you know they are there and so always be considerate to yourself and make some allowance especially on the days you are more tired.

 

It was an ordeal but one we got to live through but you are different as a result and we have to be gentle with our weak spots. 

[Macca]

Hi Jennifer,

 

My doctor once told me it was like having a puncture when you ride a bike.  One minute you were fine, then you had the puncture.  You repair it and go on your way and it's more likely to happen to someone else next time, than you and eventually it kind of goes to the back of your mind even though you never forget it completely.

 

What he said has always stuck with me - and he was right.  I had my bleed 6.5years ago and counting.  So put it in context like he did, and I now have, and go and live your life with confidence.  After all, you cross the road every day and that's a risk too, isn't it?

 

Think of the picture in your mind as a computer screen.  Now minimise it and look at the picture behind as the new life opening up before you.  Not so scary now, eh?  Your fear is now in that tiny box in the corner of your screen, dwarfed by the magnificent expanse of the new picture in front of you!

 

That's how I think of it.  Hope it helps.

 

Macca

[iola]

Hi,

 

Like the rest of us here we all understand where you are.  Mine was 3-1/2 yrs ago and I still have odd sensations from time to time and at two years you are just making your way to the next step.  Not all steps are forward though.  Those steps back make you angry and frustrated and maybe cry and that's okay. But, you get up and push forward again and on many occasions you do it alone.  

 

Funny thing is most people have no clue of your health or mental state because you look normal to them.  And, many times your victories are also in silence but they are yours and will strengthen your desire to push through your hardships.

 

I've tried, since my bleed happened on Apr 2013, to work my way back to who I used to be and as I work I realize I remember that person but want something different now.  We are ever evolving.

 

I hope you did have a wonderful holiday and do look forward to more, they are there for you,

 

iola

 

 

 

[Jimble]

Hi Jennifer 

 

I had a nasah 4 years ago and the doctors said it was unlikely to happen again, that's it's extremely unlikely to happen again - I had more or less got my life back to normal did everything I wanted to do took the odd precaution regarding brain etc (mainly lifting excessively heavy things ) 

But 6th July last year I had another bleed similar place to - it has been a completely different experience this time - much longer off work - different in my head to recover from.-

 

To put it into context though apparently I'm only the 2nd person in that hospitals history to have a 2nd bleed like I have had. Nasah is usually a 1 time event so believe that have faith in that - am I going to have another ......... Tomorrow is always a different day I'm comfortable ish - still get some sensations that I think ooh what's happening but still here and now back at work teaching. 

Hope all goes well for you. 

[K051166]

Oh I do understand the PTSD.  I also had 2 pretty close.together.  Everytime I have a headache I want to run to the ER.  I consider this to be a God send that I found this group.  It is a very painful and scary experience.  I am pretty sure this is normal to feel this way now how to get rid of it.  Ugh

  

[ClareM]

Hi KO

 

welcome to BTG sorry to hear you have had 2 bleeds must be very scary when you get a headache. 

Have you thought about making an introduction and telling us more of your story? 

Be interested to hear more about you. 

 

Clare xx