Jump to content

Still trying to heal


Recommended Posts

OK so I'm new but so happy that I found this site. SAH 08162007. I am having such a hard time recovering. I am back to work and all, have been for a long time. What I am trying to find out is that if anyone has experienced almost uncontrollable anger. I just celebrated 3 years of living after this and I still have not gotten "over" it yet. Any advice or suggestions?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Wraith

I'm four years down the line on 25th of this month and yes, there are times when I feel uncontrollable anger - especially at this happening to me in the first place. I don't get it so often now - my new philosophy on life is - "why be angry with what has happened and don't worry about the stuff you can't change".

A good way to stop feeling so angry is to stop fighting what has happened and how you've changed because of it - I know that sounds flippant, but once I stopped fighting the anger went away. I'm not saying I never get angry - I do. I also seem to be more easily frustrated than before - especially with teenage daughters who haven't really done anything but be a teenager :roll:.

Glad that you found us, as it is easier - and calming - to talk to people who have experinced the same thing.

Looking forward to talking to you more.

Edited by Skippy
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Skippy,

Wow you've saved the day. I was thinking that this probably doesn't really work...but I was desperate enough to try. I'm so relieved that "someone" else has walked on this path. It's rather lonley with no one to talk to that understands. I have learned to make everything funny so I (and those around me) seem to cope easier. Well, some days nothing is funny and I feel so "victimized" that this thing attacked me in my sleep...in my own bed, someplace that I always felt safe...well not anymore. OOPS didn't mean to run on, but just wanted to thank you for responding, for being honest with me.....and just for being.:-D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey there Wraith

Most of us on here know where you are coming from! I am 4 years post SAH and it's with me 24/7. My life changed on that day and it took a long time to accept that I will have to live with it forever. After the first couple of years I got professional help, as I couldn't imagine living with "this" for the rest of my life. Because we haven't got bandages around our heads, people think we are back to how we were before. "If only!". I have learned how to cope with things now, but please get help. Because you're worth it........

Love Nita xxx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Wraith,

I think that we all know where you're coming from .... I'm five years on and still on a learning curve with it all, even though life is a lot better, it's still with me 24/7! ... will let you know when it ends! :wink: xx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Wraith

Welcome as the others have said it is a learning curve and I think we're all human enough to say why me. I dont get angry as such but can still get really frustrated and emotional when I cant do things as I used to. Look forward to hearing more from you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Wraith,

welcome to the site its a wonderful place full of very helpful and compassionate people with a wealth of experiences.

I must confess to not having got angry once with my condition or why did it happen to me. I have I think on the one hand been lucky in that I did not remember anything of the day it happened nine months ago after I went back to bed for a short nap. The rest is blank for nearly seven weeks. Now whether that has helped my acceptance of my new situation I do not know. But I do know that I am ever so grateful to be still alive with I believe so much more to do and discover yet. Most importantly the knowledge that I will become a Grandad for the first time God willing in late October. My daughter is having a little Girl and I cannot wait for D day, (delivery day).

As for getting over it, I don't think we will ever truly get over it, but, we can learn to accept it and live with it safe in the knowledge that for what ever reason we were the lucky ones who did make it and not part of the group who sadly do not get to hospital, come through surgery or complete recovery.

Embrace your life and try and live it to the fullest. Do not get easily upset with trivial things that are of no consequence.

Take care and let us know how you get on.:wink:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Wraith :) so glad you found us....welcome to BTG :) I too have had my moments and still do...it is out of sheer frustration on not being the person i was before. I am still learning to accept the new me. We are here for you...please take care...love Tina xx

Edited by Tina
typo lol ;)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

:-DHi wraith,no your not alone;-). I know exactly how you feel, I get really angry at times,mostly born out of sheer frustration. The odd burst of anger doesn't harm so long as you don't get too upset and it doesn't hurt you or one else:shock: I got some relaxation tapes and after I have thrown my wobbly I go rest and indulge in soft music and the sound of gentle waves or something like that:biggrin:. Anyway I think it's better out than in:devil:.

I agree with Sami though,once we accept all the things we cannot change and stop fighting it things will get better. I am 18 months down the line and still working hard on that one too:roll: But I like Sami's philosphy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Wraith

I have had occassions of almost uncontrollable anger, in fact not long after I returned to work I was having trouble with a colleague and his moodiness, and ended up swearing at him but could quite easily have punched him! Very easily...but managed to get up and walk away. I was shaking with anger for some time... That is the worst I have been and is an isolated occassion, but I do also get angry about feeling rough, as I suffer with a burning pain in the top RHS of my head pretty much every day...

It is tiredness that causes it, because if I have a good hours sleep when I get in from work I then feel much better.

If you can get access to a counsellor who specialises in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy that could prove useful for you. My counsellor did start to explain the basics to me but never went fully into it, and now I am no longer seeing him as he did not feel it was necessary...but I have heard it is very useful to help re-frame your thinking.

I did also have counselling with a different counsellor earlier this year, who happened to specialise in Trauma counselling - I found that a great help.

You are definitely not alone!

Hope to hear more from you

Take care

Kel

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like Sami's Philosophy as well. I have learned so much just in the last 24 hrs. I now check this site before my e-mail and yes even Facebook. I have so many questions and concerns that I feel are quite late in coming but I have kept them to myself now I know I can get feedback and input. I'm going to learn so much about the new me and how to cope with her.

AAAHHHH Counseling, that was my next topic. I wan't sure it would help. I did see a specialist in traumatic brain injury a few months after my SAH went through the testing and was evaluated he told me to see a cognative retrainer, but then insurance dictated otherwise at that time. I must find one here.

Edited by wraith
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Wraith.

I had counselling and it really did help, just to be able to talk about things without worrying my family. I am also 3 years on and tend to get upset rather than angry, I try to just live my life moment by moment and enjoy things as they are. Easier said than done though :)

Vivien x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi there

Warm welcome to the site.....

Maybe you need to speak to a councellor ask the GP for info....

But yes I can understand the anger, for me once I accepted it, the me I now was learned to work alongside it then that helped a lot.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hiya,councelling is really helpful if you get a good one. I had alot of panic attacks and worries which I got help for. The councellor offered me a different approach, a different way of dealing with them that I needed.I felt like I was drowning, using all my energies simply to stay afloat. The councelling taught me how to cope with the new person I had become. Like she gave me permission to feel all those emotions,then showed me how to deal with them. It is still a struggle but councelling did help me to move forward.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...