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Posted (edited)

Hi

My problem is anxiety... I had an unruptured Aneurysm clipped on 21 March at SGH I was discharged on 23 March and was recovering at home, whilst about to have a nap on 26 March I started to fit, my hubby had to watch this and two further fits in the ambulance on the way to Basingstoke Hospital, I had a CT scan and nothing showed up, no bleed, no clot nothing wrong with my clip but then I started showing signs of a stroke, my left side all went paralysed.... SGH were sent the CT scan and they were happy that it had nothing to do with the surgery, I have to say I'm lucky I don't remember much about all this but I do remember coming round in A&E and being very aggressive to everyone apart from my boys!!! My symptons of the TIA or Post Ichtal Phenomenom as they put on my discharge papers have reduced but I have this really bad anxiety when I do everything I used to , being in crowded places, shopping, getting train for work are when it happens most, I don't go dizzy but feel like everything is spinning in front of my eyes and then my left leg gets a bad limp!!! I find it very frustrating but refuse to let it stop me being back at work or going out but I dont want it to get worse but I dont feel like its getting any better!!!

From a stubborn but very frustrated person :-D

Edited by Karen
Title altered to include diet/exercise
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Posted

Hi there it does get easier with time however I feel you should of had more time off work to recover what job do you do.

I went through everything I had 3 months off work almost after my op for the unruptured one and I feel I went back to work to soon I am still there but I did return to soon.

I would go back to your Dr and get some more time off and slowly go back just go to shops and in crowds and on trains then start going into work just for an hour or so.

Hope you improve soon. Jess.xxx

Posted

Hello Kerry,

Welcome to BTG. I'm glad you've found us, this site is a wealth of support and advice. I saw you kicking around in the Wessex support group site.

Wow, you weren't in hospital for long!

I had SAH in August 2010 and was treated at the Wessex Neuro unit in SGH too. I was there for nearly 2wks.

I was off work for 15 mths, started my phased return to work October last year and am still not up to my pre SAH work hours yet.

You're very early into your recovery. Please have patience and understanding with yourself.

Have you read 'a letter from your brain' in the home section? I recommend everyone to read it as it really does say it all.

The anxiety thing is very common, a lot of stories on here about it. I really struggled with crowds, noise, lights etc for a very long time. I still do but not as bad.

Your'll get there, it just takes time. Take things slowly, rest as much as you can.

I wish you well in your recovery.

Take care,

SarahLou Xx

Posted (edited)

Hi Kerry,

People who know more about it, than me will help you ...I cannot remember anything.until shunt was fitted in head..I know I had fits

but the first year I was in cuckooland....Family say I spoke then slept but I cannot remember a thing..lol

My daughter told me I was in bed eating lunch..and I said to her "lets go Sarah pass my bag up I'll pay" lol thought I was in a Cafe ...

But I had anni and hydrocephelus .....people who have had fits/epilepsy will be on here and pick thread up..

Anyway its early days for you.... look back in 3 weeks then 6 weeks and you will see improvement .....

Keep looking back and remember how you was then and how you are now....bet you improve greatly xx

Welcome to BTG and keep smiling and singing if poss xx

Best Wishes

WinB143 xx

Edited by Winb143
Posted
Hi there it does get easier with time however I feel you should of had more time off work to recover what job do you do.

I went through everything I had 3 months off work almost after my op for the unruptured one and I feel I went back to work to soon I am still there but I did return to soon.

I would go back to your Dr and get some more time off and slowly go back just go to shops and in crowds and on trains then start going into work just for an hour or so.

Hope you improve soon. Jess.xxx

Hi Jess

It was my choice to go back to work as I couldnt stand the anxiety of not being able to go out and after speaking to my Dr he was happy for me to go back on phased hours, am only doing four hours a day but have to travel to Southampton from Basingstoke, he spoke to me about it as he said the longer I put it off the anxiety could turn to panic attacks as time went on and I could understand what he was saying..... my trouble I feel is that after the fits/stroke I am worried that this will happen when I'm out on my own or if I'm in a crowded place people will ignore me if it happens.... To me this sounds silly but I cannot get my brain to understand that im ok so then I get the anxiety and then I start limping and then I get annoyed and frustrated with myself....

I'm an administrative assistant and my work have been really good, I just do what I can and take breaks when I need to, I am normally a confident and independant person and I think the fact that I have had to surrender my driving licence and have to rely on my husband to take me anywhere now really frustrates me too.... hope this all makes sense Jess and I hope you are doing good and getting better too xxx

Posted
Hello Kerry,

Welcome to BTG. I'm glad you've found us, this site is a wealth of support and advice. I saw you kicking around in the Wessex support group site.

Wow, you weren't in hospital for long!

I had SAH in August 2010 and was treated at the Wessex Neuro unit in SGH too. I was there for nearly 2wks.

I was off work for 15 mths, started my phased return to work October last year and am still not up to my pre SAH work hours yet.

You're very early into your recovery. Please have patience and understanding with yourself.

Have you read 'a letter from your brain' in the home section? I recommend everyone to read it as it really does say it all.

The anxiety thing is very common, a lot of stories on here about it. I really struggled with crowds, noise, lights etc for a very long time. I still do but not as bad.

Your'll get there, it just takes time. Take things slowly, rest as much as you can.

I wish you well in your recovery.

Take care,

SarahLou Xx

Thank you SarahLou

I couldnt believe it when they said I could go home 48hours after the op and when I walked out I was dragging my left leg and slurring but was happy to be going home.....I returned to work 5 1/2 weeks after and couldnt wait to be back around friends at work, but I know I have to have patience and understanding with myself, I just find it hard to be slowing down compared to before... but am happy that you found me on Wessex support group but found it very confusing this site seems easier... thank you for your kind words and I wish you well too

Take care

Kerry xx

Posted
Hi Kerry,

People who know more about it, than me will help you ...I cannot remember anything.until shunt was fitted in head..I know I had fits

but the first year I was in cuckooland....Family say I spoke then slept but I cannot remember a thing..lol

My daughter told me I was in bed eating lunch..and I said to her "lets go Sarah pass my bag up I'll pay" lol thought I was in a Cafe ...

But I had anni and hydrocephelus .....people who have had fits/epilepsy will be on here and pick thread up..

Anyway its early days for you.... look back in 3 weeks then 6 weeks and you will see improvement .....

Keep looking back and remember how you was then and how you are now....bet you improve greatly xx

Welcome to BTG and keep smiling and singing if poss xx

Best Wishes

WinB143 xx

Thank you for your kind words and I look back over the last 7 weeks and see a massive improvement, but as you say have to remember how I was and how I am now... I'm just a very impatient person :-D

Best wishes to you to xxx

Posted

I find their site very confusing too so to be honest don't go on it much.

I can totally understand you wanting to get bits of 'normal' back. Everytime I get a bit of normal back I end up having a few tears! It still breaks me that I'm not the wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, work collegue etc etc that I used to be, but hey, I'm still here, still kicking and fighting.

As for your concerns about fitting again do you have medical details kept on you? Have you thought about wearing a medic alert bracelet?

Hope to maybe meet you at future Wessex support groups. Or a coffee in town seeing as we both work there!

Take care and keep smiling,

SarahLou Xx

Posted
I find their site very confusing too so to be honest don't go on it much.

I can totally understand you wanting to get bits of 'normal' back. Everytime I get a bit of normal back I end up having a few tears! It still breaks me that I'm not the wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, work collegue etc etc that I used to be, but hey, I'm still here, still kicking and fighting.

As for your concerns about fitting again do you have medical details kept on you? Have you thought about wearing a medic alert bracelet?

Hope to maybe meet you at future Wessex support groups. Or a coffee in town seeing as we both work there!

Take care and keep smiling,

SarahLou Xx

I have my medical details in my bag all the time,someone said about a medic alert bracelet and have to be honest I had never heard of it, will have to find somewhere that does them....

Thanks for understanding me and all the kind words from you and others are so encouraging.... I can see this site being a big help

You take care too xx

Posted

Kerry, my brains going into shut down but I'll pm you details about the medic alert foundation if you like. Pretty sure there is a thread about it already though and sure I put the link on that.

Heads going mushy, night time meds are kicking in need sleep now!

Pm me anytime you like if you want to.

Nite nite,

SL Xx

Posted

Hiya Kerry,

do you have a MIND in your area? The reason I ask is that years and years ago, I suffered with panic-attacks. I attended an 'anxiety management' course at MIND. It's basically cognitive behavioural therapy where you are encouraged to recognise and challenge your own thought process. You can self-refer I think. It actually solved my panic-attack problem. I still get a bit anxious now and then especially since I had sah but I can control it much better now as I recognise when it's getting excessive and can control it, I haven't had an actual panic attack in 8 years.

Dawn x

Posted

Hi Kerry,

I've only just seen this thread so sorry for the late reply! Win, SarahLou and Jess are absolutely right in what they say, I couldn't put it any better. I would say though, that you should take each day as it comes, do things in manageable chunks, in stages and, when you feel comfortable, move on to the next, in your own time. Don't forget also, that the changes you have experienced are not just a one way thing. Everyone around you has to change to the way you are now, not stay as they were, so it is essential you keep talking to them so they get to know the better, new you - yes you are better because you now have new life experience. You have the same body with a different engine in it and everyone has to get used to the new performance - it's just different to the way it was. Make sure everyone who knows you knows about your medical bracelet. Keep talking and smiling. In your mobile phone keep a 'ICE number' (in case of emergency contact). We all have them at work in case anything happens whilst we are travelling.

As for getting your other half to drive you around - well Lady Penelope had Parker - I wouldn't worry about that too much. Bit of an irritant but useful life is still possible!!!

Best wishes

Macca

Posted

Anxiety seems very common and I have it all the time. I don't have panic attacks though, so don't add that to your list of 'Oh, no! What if I get them" because you can definitely have generalized anxiety alone. I feel more and more sure about going out and interacting with strangers each day, but I do know that it is a normal complaint for people in our situation. And it seems to happen sometimes without any reason. As you keep living each day and challenge your feelings, you get better and better at least that's what has been true for me at 9months post SAH.

Take Care, Kris

Posted
I don't have panic attacks though, so don't add that to your list of 'Oh, no! What if I get them"

Sorry, I wasn't intending to add to the list of worries. It's just that the MIND course is brilliant for any anxiety not just panic attacks, sorry for not making myself clear x

Posted

I can manage my panic and anxiety issues pretty well as not to panic but I have had lots of practice. But I am still overwhelmed in grocery stores or shopping or being in a crowded situations. If it were up to me I would never shop again. I use to enjoy it but it is so tiring and overwhelming. I find making a list and focusing solely on my list helps. Breathing exercises help as does playing games on my cell phone to lessen my stress when I am waiting. Right now my husband is listening to the TV loud as hte mircowave is on adn such so it is really hard for me to concentrate on writing my thoughts!!!!!!!

Good lUck Kerry, it gets much easier. The fear of it happening again does not bother me anymore but I stilll cannot wrap my head around the whole experience yet.

MaryB

Posted

Hi there

I does get better as time goes on I have a lot of that under my belt so I do understand...

I too think that maybe you returned to work way too quickly you havent given yourself the chance to heal and adjust to whats happened.

Posted

When I used to get panick attacks I used to buy gum,,or chew sweets...even have drink of water...I used to say Keep calm Win"

then reply "How? I cannot swallow or get breath" then realised it was me who was working myself up....and panicking....

I do not get them anymore....but I still answer myself back ..lol and swear but that's another story xx

Be Well All

Love

WinB143 xxxx

Posted
When I used to get panick attacks I used to buy gum,,or chew sweets...even have drink of water...I used to say Keep calm Win"

then reply "How? I cannot swallow or get breath" then realised it was me who was working myself up....and panicking....

I do not get them anymore....but I still answer myself back ..lol and swear but that's another story xx

Be Well All

Love

WinB143 xxxx

Thanks, I don't get full panic attacks I just get really anxious and feel like everything is swimming in front of my eyes and then I limp badly on my left leg.... but my Dr said it was only a matter of time before full blown panic attacks could happen...... I have good days and bad and give myself a good talking to....not that I listen all the time but its worth a talk!!!!

xxxx

Posted
Anxiety seems very common and I have it all the time. I don't have panic attacks though, so don't add that to your list of 'Oh, no! What if I get them" because you can definitely have generalized anxiety alone. I feel more and more sure about going out and interacting with strangers each day, but I do know that it is a normal complaint for people in our situation. And it seems to happen sometimes without any reason. As you keep living each day and challenge your feelings, you get better and better at least that's what has been true for me at 9months post SAH.

Take Care, Kris

Hi Kris

I am definately better than I was a few weeks ago but sometimes when I'm on my own I talk myself into a situation that isn't happening but give myself a good tellling off!!

Take care x

Posted

Kerry I used to get full blown panic attacks when I first went to college cos I was so homesick. I found setting myself a small manageable target each day & then having a small treat if I did my goal really helped. It really is a case of baby steps & doing what works for you. The worst thing you can do is scold yourself & that you used to be able to do these things without having to think about it. The reality is that the new you behaves & reacts differently so you need to make allowances. I would also recc speaking to your GP (who I think is a disgrace for saying full blown panic attacks are next) & asking for some CBT which will show you how to change a negative thought into something less threatening & head off an anxiety attack before it begins.

Hope some of this helps hon xxx

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

My anxiety has been getting better, especially when I'm going to work, the walk to the railway station and being on the train have got so much easier..... BUT I took my boys to the dentist on Thursday and my anxiety hit a high...We walked a different way to the dentist, not a route I have been on since my op and TIA.... I ended up limping most of the way and we had to go through a couple of underpasses and I felt like it was swallowing me up, I had to hold on to my boys arm so they could guide me and so I could get my limping under control... They were amazing and didnt care that I had to hold onto them (it was me that cared that I had to do it!!) after the dentist we went into the town centre and I was fine, limping had stopped and anxiety gone because I go into town nearly every week..... It feels so weird, to have it one day and not another..... I have had this week off work and on monday I am going back to work for 5 hours a day instead of the 4 hours that I have been on for 6 weeks, so am going to get the earlier train which I know is the busier train, so I am expecting a bit of a tough, knackering week and anxiety to be high on monday morning....... well fingers crossed it won't be too bad, but I am preparing myself for it and to be extra tired at the end of the day 5 hours at work 40 mins each way travelling.... early nights for me next week!!!!

Posted (edited)

Firstly Kerry..Good luck at work next week x

You and boys done well....I couldn't have done what you have done..so give yourself a pat on back...and boys xx

Do not let it beat you.....it will get better and easier as time goes by.....

My Daughter had a panic attack and a women Doc said "although you feel breathless keep breathing ...try and keep calm..as you control it...then you know that you are still breathing and all will be well .. she listened to my daughters chest..more to put my daughters mind at ease

My daughter said "Mum I am having trouble breathing but it is so good to know I am in control now". ..She gets them now and again but she is so much better as the woman Doc was good...She understood...and my Daughter needed telling by a sympathetic Doc that there

was nothing wrong with her .... she came out of Doctors and all happy n smiley....

Anyway good luck to you xx and Boys xx... still have a sweetie in case of panic..takes away dry mouth xx

Love

WinB143 xx xx

Edited by Winb143
Posted

Well done Kerry, you need to recognise what you've achieved which is a big step! Love your boys for supporting you but you will need them less & less as you become less anxious. It does get easier but don't rush it or feel you should be doing better cos it takes as long as it takes for you & no one else.

Posted

Hello all you intermittent stressed outers!

Lets all be thankful for the times when it abates. Whew! and then try and find the cues to help us prepare when the anxiety does strike all of a sudden.

I get this churning in my stomach that precedes the freak-out feeling...

I have yet to be able to do much of anything constructive like remove myself from the situation or something useful (lol as Win always says :))

Maybe next time, I'll get the timing right (stomach churning --- leave the room Vs. stomach churning ---'I think I can handle it this time' --- 'Oh no, I can't' --- now I leave).

Someone untie the knot will ya already

~Kris

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