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4 years ago today......

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4 years ago today (8th July 2008) I had my SAH....

It doesn't seem like 'yesterday', it seems like I have walked a very long, hard, lonely road since then but I wanted to share that all this time later I feel good and at peace with it at last.

I celebrated the 1st anniversary with the few people who had helped me through that 1st year with a lovely meal out (my mum got a bit tipsy & cried :lol:), my oldest friend gave me an 'angel box' - you write your troubles down, put them in it & wait for an answer (I never did, I wonder if it works?? I do still have the box!).

Mostly though I wanted to let you know that I don't notice the date because I usually have no idea what the current date is :wink: The reminder always comes from the date coinciding with Scotland's T In The Park festival - the poster adverts make me go 'oh it must be another year'. I remember the paramedics on route to hospital No. 3 pointing out the tents & the main stage as we passed to try to keep me responsive to what they were saying. Also the posters for the Monster Truck Stunt Show is a reminder.

Me & my son were getting ready to go to that when it happened - he was in the car, I went back into the house to get my purse and WHAM, the rest is history.....Without these events as reminders I probably wouldn't even realise although the date 8th July always gives me a jolt if I see it even in December......Although, if I am being honest, I have never got tickets for the truck show since - I know it's silly but I just don't want to tempt fate.

I spent the day cooking with veg from my garden & clearing out my bedroom with music on - things that I enjoy. I understand that I will never be 'better' but I have come a very long way. I don't count the months off any more. I am as 'better' as I will ever be (maybe) and mostly I'm happy with how far I have come. It takes a long time but it does happen xxx

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You have come a long way baby! I cannot imagine how your son felt sitting in the car? Jeez... So glad thats behind ya, huh? I am thankful they don't happen again! LOL!! Do you find that when someone use a pain scale it is like "do I include the SAH as a ten or is it the 10 before that 10?" Not knocking anyone pain tolerance but I thnk we all know what a 10 is and it is not the 10 they ask you about other pains your having.. lOl.

I will fb YOU later alligator......... I need to hem a dress I sold....augh!!!

Big bear hug to you!


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I think you have done brilliantly....it might be a mask you put on Michelle but you have made me feel a lot better about myself.

You have made me laugh...and sometimes reading inbetween your writing I also see a little sadness then you buck up xx YES

I SAID BUCK..lol (as in buck up ideas etc and so forth)lol dunno if you ever effed up lol ...ohhh rude Win

Congrats on 4 years, see there is a life after SAH xxxx

You make me smile and thats a good trait to have xx ...You will go further Michelle...you have Dylan to spur you on xx

Keep going that extra mile and I'll go 300 yards ..lol ....I have always been a lazy moo xx

Keep Well Pal


WinB143 xxxx

Edited by Winb143
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Happy 4th anni- versary for yesterday Lil Ms Goldfish Girlie,

Thank you for everything that you are and all that you do.

Yesterday would have been a gloomier day for me had you not picked me up. Thank you.

You've come such a long way, be very proud of all that you've done.

Surely it can't be long to wait til you get to have those small geezers on the beach, what a good anni- versary gift that would be eh!

Take care,

Loopy Xx

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Hiya Michelle,

I agree with Win, you always make me feel much better and today is no exception! As a newbie in her first year, it's nice to hear positive stories. I know you have off days too but regardless of this, you always find something postitve and cheerful to say which is an inspiration.

Dawn x

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Good Morning GG.

Well done on reaching the 4 year mark – I’m so glad you remembered the date – it makes it easier for me to remember that I am exactly 4 months behind you!

Despite all that life has dealt you during those 4 years, you have come out shining and for that you deserve a great amount of credit. You are an inspiration Michelle and we are all in a better place for having you on this forum. Your friendship, humour and caring nature are all assets you can be proud of.

When that driving licence finally appears on your door mat, it will be the icing on the cake!


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I agree whole heartedly with what everyone says. Its a very special person that can go through all you have & come out the other side with a sense of humour & fun!

I really hope your licence comes back soon, it def will be a cause for celebration by us all as you've given us so much on here.

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Hi Goldfish,

Have one hell of a Happy Annie day, thinking of you miss.

You always make me LOL with your comments, when I know things can be hard for you some days. You have kicked some asses along your journey. So don't let us down, keep at it and you will get there I have no doubt about that.

I am away for a few days. If we can't catch any fish on our trip. I am so glad to have you Goldfish as a good mate of mine, take care of you. Your boys and doggie.

Lots of Love and bags of smiles coming your way.

Sonia xxxx

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Happy 4th Annie-versary Michelle!

Having to recover yourself is difficult enough, but you have also had to go through Dylan's recovery too, which must be extremely hard and emotional to deal with.

I do hope you get that letter from the DVLA very soon, to get out and about whenever you fancy it, and get to the beach to blow the cobwebs away...

take care

Kel x

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O.M.G!!! I am quite honestly blown away by all your comments. Thank you.

I hope my window cleaner doesn't turn up because I have laughed, cried, laughed again & then cried some more reading them - I look like a right loony :lol:

Please know that the support is a two way thing, there have many, many times you have all helped me too.

Thank you xxx

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Hi Michelle, thank you for posting about your 4 year mark. You've had some very difficult and emotional struggles and your life has changed enormously. You've been so generous with sharing your experiences with all of us and it's helped so much. For me, you were right there almost everyday when I was having my hardest time trying to be back at work being the person I used to be.

I would come home in tears of exhaustion and hurting all over and feeling like a huge failure and so depressed and there you would be, a bright shining light sending me messages of encouragement and helping me to see (really 'see') what was happening. You helped me understand through tears and laughter that I needed to change something. You helped me face one of the most difficult decisions in my life and admit that I was still sick. You helped me understand that I'm not a failure.

I will always be grateful for your messages from Scotland. I can't say it enough, thank you dear Michelle.

Sandi K. Xoxoxo

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Hi Michelle

I don't come on here much now but I do try to catch up with things when I can (usually when I'm at work, where I am now). Congratulations on your 4th anniversary.

You have come through some tough times but the one thing that comes shining through from your posts, is your positivity. I hope you are having a lovely day.

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