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Suggestion of SAH Analogy


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Hello all:

I would like to hear from someone who can come up with an analogy of what a day in the life of an SAH person is like when you are having a bad day. I say this because I can just not get through to my sister, several co-workers and some good friends exactly what it's like to have an SAH and have a bad day.

I don't care about what other people in my life think about my condition but I would like to give an analogy to the people who are close to me so they can understand becasue they are just not getting it. I've given these people the SAH brochure already and said just read the "Recovery " part and that didnt work.

So some examples I've heard on here before of a day with an SAH is like it's a 500 day hangover, flu, getting hit in the head with a baseball bat, brain hemorraghe, fatigue etc. I've used all those analogies and they dont get it.I'm sorry but it is important to me that those VERY close to me(sister, boss, good friends) know that my life is a daily nightmare and I work with it and I'm not just laying around becasue I'm "tired" or lazy.

I think personally the flu is a good one. 580 day flu???You feel achy, fatigued, nauseous and dont want to get out of bed. Most "normal" people stay home in bed with the flu right? Us SAH'ers carry on as if a normal day.

I don't expect them to totally "get it" but their current level of understanding is unacceptable and frustrating to me. Please help.

David

Edited by amexdm
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David I have tried for 3 years to get my girl friends to understand the fatigue, I've said its sensory overload, hitting a brick wall, shutting down etc etc

I finally sent them this link

http://http://www.neurosurgicalatlas.com/video-conference-center/managing-cognitive-social-and-emotional-challenges-after-ruptured-or-treate

one friend emailed me back & actually said how she hadn't realised the full scope of the sah, I had to tell her that i didn't have all those things all the time & that by managing situations it did make life easier & more bearable.

Maybe they will understand things better if they watch the webinar too?

Hope it helps xx

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David,

My dear man the flu is how having fibro feels to me so I have to add something more like is like the flu and you have 5 kids and they have the flu and you are a single parent and you have not slept in 6 years and you have a daily headache that increases throughout the day everyday and you can literally sleep anywhere because it is not just tired you are beyond tired and you can't process any thoughts, words or readings. The wrong words and letters come from you and you cannot find the right ones and you never ever can over do it as when you do you pay for it for a week.

Your systems just shut down because your brain cannot process one more thing. It just is cooked, fried, done put a fork in it. The noise of the dishes being done is like a gun salute that startles you, you have to plan for noise early in day as late it the day you literally want to jump out of your skin. You wish everyone that has a loud mouth or screaming kids in a store can just for an hour know how rude they are and how it cuts through you like a knife.

My husband has the TV volume on 25 and that is normal I have it on 9. Because my hearing is supersonic but if more than one person is talking I cannot hear either of you and if you add some back found music well just forget it. I wish there was a way of turning off background music. I wish there was a way to turn off all background noise without becoming deaf.

I wish I could enjoy sunny days as now they want to pierce through my eye into my brain instead. I wish I could walk and not watch my feet or if on the sidewalk see my feet and the tree that is going to poke my eye out with my blind spots.

I have a loud & fast talking co worker that I cannot get this through her head as I look fine, I sent her an article the other day, I am like an old person as the days goes on I become more and more unable to cope similar to alhemizers or a child with autism as their brains become tired and or evening is bad. She asked how much of my old self do I feel is left. I was like I am a completely different person. I can still do certain things because I have good coping skills but I have to THINK about everything I do and triple check it. I cannot think in noise, I cannot work in chaos. I have literally put my hand over her mouth when she asked a question last week and keeps talking - I have caught myself twice in the past month doing that to people as if it is ok? What have I become?

So my dear man I have no analogy for you but I think it is like when you have a migraine, flu, was hit by a truck, have not slept in a month and are 100 years old at the same time.

Sorry to babble so much, long day I guess. I am feeling it all today!

maryb

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Hi David,

This is a difficult one, I don't think I have an analogy as such.

The onset of flu is about right, but for me it's also like I've spent the entire day drinking coffee (I don't touch the stuff) or like I took pro-plus right before bed because although I'm always exhausted getting to sleep is as much of a challenge as getting through the day is.

It feels like I've worn an itchy scratchy woollen jumper on the top half while my bottom half is in rapidly setting concrete. By 14:30, I ache, am irritable, shattered and have a tight band around my head like someone has put a belt around my forehead and is pulling with all their strength. But there are still 3 working hours to get through.

When I get home, I do watch tv though it can be an assault on the senses so it has to be something I really enjoy. Like Mary, it has to be on quietly too. Often by the time I get home, reading is not an option because there is not enough brain space for it. My Nana only phones me twice a week now, but after taking anything from 60 - 84 phone calls at work, talking on the phone is not my favourite thing to do in my free time.

The only time I really remember feeling this way before Sah, I woke up the next day covered in Chickenpox and had to have 6 weeks off work.

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Welcome to what I have every day & after 13years some days its just more difficult than others, but you learn to adapt go with the flow, if you think too much about it dwel on it then its got the better of you & as we know we're all too good for that we've done the hard bit & survived.

it took a long while for me to work out if my friends couldnt understand my being tired after what happened & they didnt understand thought I was being selfish then they were no good as a friend.

Family are kind of the same why dont you visit Louise, I say why dont YOU visit or YOU call me.

As to analogy no idea.

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Tricky one, I am not sure even the most thought provoking analogy would help some people understand. The effects of an SAH just do not compute in most people's lives.

However, the one I use is:

It is like being a Learner driver on a long journey on a winding and sometimes difficult road. My pace is slow and deliberate whilst I learn how to negotiate all the obstacles along the way, tight bends, varying gradients, crossroads, both considerate and inconsiderate drivers sharing the same road space as me and long open stretches face me.

When I reach a straight open stretch I can 'put my foot' down and enjoy the sensation of travelling at slightly higher speeds, but I need to keep an eye on the road ahead and be preprared for the changing road conditions. If I fail to slow down enough to take a tight bend or climb a step gradient, then the engine in my car (my brain) will falter, lose power and I run the risk of stalling. Reducing my confidence in my driving ability and leaving me with no option but to stop, and re-start when I am ready to continue my journey.

I also need to keep a watchful eye on those coming up behind me who become impatient with the slow pace of my journey and I frequently slow down enough to wave them on past and let them race off into the distance. Who knows I may well catch them up at the next set of traffic lights!!

As with all learner drivers I will eventually become accustomed to the road conditions and settle on a pace of journey that allows me to enjoy the experience and arrive at my destination, bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to face life's next challenge. To do that I need the support of others guiding, encouraging and just being by my side until my confidence and strength return.

And to whomever I am speaking I ask: Do they wish to spend some time helping me along on my journey or do they need to overtake me and race on ahead?

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Hmm David you want an Ology (UK Advert) xx

Wondering when you go to bed will you wake up well in the morning, praying you will but morning comes early

3 am this morning.

You get back to sleep and wake up cream crackered. Legs feel better today ? No, Headache gone from crying, No,

Sings Bangles song

Is this burning an eternal flame xx

Be Well All and matey moo David cheer up xx Ready All, punches SAH..wallop it has gone xx

Wishful Win xx

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David I have tried for 3 years to get my girl friends to understand the fatigue, I've said its sensory overload, hitting a brick wall, shutting down etc etc

I finally sent them this link

http://http://www.neurosurgicalatlas.com/video-conference-center/managing-cognitive-social-and-emotional-challenges-after-ruptured-or-treate

one friend emailed me back & actually said how she hadn't realised the full scope of the sah, I had to tell her that i didn't have all those things all the time & that by managing situations it did make life easier & more bearable.

Maybe they will understand things better if they watch the webinar too?

Hope it helps xx

Thanks Gill,

I remeber you mentioning in the past this being a problem with your friends and how it bothered you. I'm not quite sure what to try next. I was unable to open your link but would be interested. Can you email it to me please? It could be my firewall at work. Thanks.

David

Edited by amexdm
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Thanks Gill,

I remeber you mentioning in the past this being a problem with your frineds and how it bothered you. I'm not quite sure what to try next. I was unable to open your link but would be interested. Can you email it to me please? It could be my firewall at work. Thanks.

David

Link won't work for me either.

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David, I did a blog update today about how i feel on surviving and included an analogy in it strangely enough about what my brain feels like. I include all of you in the people who surround me by the way.

http://popgoestifty.blogspot.co.uk/

It's part of my recovery plan to concentrate and write stuff down. :lol:

Thanks Daff,

I read it and can certainly relate. Although today feeling as if the sharks would just eat me and be done. Just a bad day. I give you alot of credit for writing down your thoughts. I did that for a while but then didnt stick with it. my ADD kicked in :)

David

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For me I have gradually come to realize that I don't really get it, so how can I expect others to get it? It is dynamic. It is a totally different game than my life was.. all the rules are ever changing. It is incomprehensible and yet all consuming. Try and explain love or another state of being to someone that has never experienced it. I'm not sure that anyone can really get it. However, I've found that if I command respect with myself and take that nap without explanation or do whatever I have to do, people do note that I am a better person for it...and they have a better time being around me too.

~Kris

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