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Three Years!!! Still here!!


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Where do I start?

The last 12 months have been more difficult than I expected, full of highs and lows. . . . The Best day , it goes without saying (but I’ll say it .anyway.  Remember Jan The Rambler’s typing this!!) was my beautiful wedding day . It truly was the best day of my life so much so, I want to do it again ( with John of course!) I’m digressing already.


I see things differently this year. Relationships with family and friends change.I have felt abandoned and isolated.The isolation is mainly my doing, I think my confidence went down a different path to the one I’m on. I’ll keep looking, it’s there somewhere. On a ‘good’ day I feel great, full of energy etc so here’s hoping there’s lots of those on the horizon.


I’m still struggling to accept all that I’ve lost but more importantly I try very hard to appreciate all that I have.


THANK YOU  BTG for being here

Jan xx


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Congrats on the 3 years Jan and glad that one of the most memorable was your wedding day.


Sah causes a lot of upheaval in our lives and a lot of changes. I’m sorry that the last 12 months have been so difficult for you and hope that the 12 to come give you more happiness.


I think it is difficult to appreciate what we have when we also know what we have lost. I am with you in that, as I too sometimes struggle to accept all that has happened. I think it is fine to be sad for what we have lost but we also need to be realistic about the future - hard sometimes. I hope you can find positive things -one must certainly be John. 


You are are a brave and kind hearted lady and I wish you all the best. 


Clare xx


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Congrats Sis xxx


On 13/06/2018 at 14:35, Jan said:

I’m still struggling to accept all that I’ve lost but more importantly I try very hard to appreciate all that I have.


I honestly believe that in order to "move on" emotionally, you have to allow yourself to "grieve" for the old you.  Once I stopped fighting it and accepted it, things became a lot easier.  And you know what??  I actually prefer this version of myself - I've managed (eventually) to let go of the old one and embrace this new one.


 I now have the capacity to limit myself, slow down and tell others to clear up after themselves, whereas before I'd rush around and worry about things getting done and tidy up after everyone ALL the time.  Now there are rules - if you want me to do your washing make sure it's in the laundry basket or you do it yourself and I'll only be doing it once a week - you want it mid week - do it yourself.  


Also now tell hubby and kids - you had time to make it and eat it, so you make time to clear up and wash up.  I refuse to take pots from daughter and boyfriend's room and they have their own crockery - so if they run out, they wash up or eat out (and if its brought into the kitchen, it better be washed up).


Jan darling, allow yourself to grieve for the old you and those who you don't see anymore (they were never true friends if they're not around now). Remember also, its a long road to recovery, but you can make as many pit stops as you like to refuel or repair xxxx

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Jan, Congratulations on your 3rd Anni-versary, I know it has been a difficult 12 months for you, I know we spoke about some of it at the weekend.


Family, the one thing in life you don't get to choose, but they are the people who you would expect to be there to support and help you through some of the difficult times.


My sister's have never been there for me, my oldest sister went to Lanzarote 4 days after my bleed and my middle sister visited me once in hospital, older sister came back and brought me an indoor plant and her first words were " well you look alright " not sure what she was expecting me to look like. She stayed for 10 minutes and left.


As I said to you on Saturday, sometimes you just have accept that they can't deal with the situation or they don't want to, believe me, they will need you one day and I know you are like me and as much as you would like to say " no " you won't because that's not in your nature, 


The brilliant thing is you have John, you are both so lovely together, he is with you every step of the way,, totally unconditional, simply because he loves you and wants to look after you and make sure you have the best life possible, which is what you deserve after all you have been through.


We love to see you both and as we said on Saturday, when you find you need to get away, give me a ring and you have a free few days away and we meant it. 


I really hope that your next 12 months bring brighter days and more confidence your way Jan, stay strong my very lovely friend.


Looking forward to our next get together, hopefully it will be soon.


Sending you much love, hugs and more.


Michelle xx 

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Hi Jan,


Congratulations - three years must have seemed light years away to you just after your SAH.  Look at you now though, married and bouncing around full of beans!


Just go back and read that post above. It's a million miles away from the posts you wrote in year one.


You've come on a ton, because you persevered, sought help - and received it. You listened and learned.  Well done - and just look at you now!


You are bright and bubbly, yes, you have the odd down moment, but the up moments are outnumbering them by far now.  It wasn't like that at the beginning!


Abandoned and isolated?  By whom, Jan?  Are they really your friends? Just stop there a minute and think!  Despite all that, you have come through it all, bigger than them, stronger than them, and you are all the better for it.  You may have to come into contact with them so be polite, smile and then get on with things, but don't let them drag you down, just cast them aside and move on.  If they don't want to be along for the journey, go without them.  Depend on yourself, and those who love you and you won't go far wrong.


Lovely lady, as Tina says, you are doing just great and I doff my cap to you.  A tough time and you came through with flying colours. Just brilliant!



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