Back To Work

[SarahLou]

Ah Sandi stop being so rough on yourself or I'll start singing and believe me with this scratchy husky voice and sore throat I've got at the mo I'll give you very bad ear ache!!

Seriously... I know the journey you've taken on returning to work has been very tough for you but you've gotta look at how far you've come. You've done so well and should be so very proud of yourself.

 

Maybe your ideas of you doing a slightly different job is an avenue to explore. Or could you job share?

Don't give up Sandi, have a read of 'a letter from your brain', that'll give you a reminder about a few things.

Stay strong. Big hugs to you honey.

Take care and keep smiling,

SarahLou Xx

[amexdm]

Sandy,

I'm going thru the same thing. My team members at work have complained so much about me not being there (I work 28 hours a week) that the boss has been forced to ask me to return to work full time. Don't know if I can ever work FT again. not at this point. See my new thread back to work full time and respond if you have the chance. Hoping for the best for us all.

Hugs,

David

[goldfish.girl]

Hi Sandy,

I was thinking along the same lines as Sarah Lou, could they bring in someone else to help with your job for the time being. That would give you time to work out for yourself if moving to something new would be best for you, while at the same time taking some pressure off your staff?

 

I think it would be very hard to come to terms with 'jumping ship' before you are done trying to get back to how you were pre SAH. Maybe you will eventually have to have a major re-think but it seems to me that you aren't quite finished trying yet? IF you get to a point where you have done your very best and still can't do what is required of you, you can then accept that that you couldn't have tried any harder but it didn't work out (still hard to deal with, I know) but to walk away to make others lives easier will always leave you wondering 'what if.....'

Keep smiling

Michelle xx

[Sandi K]

GG and SL you've raised some good points. No swift decisions. I had a detailed conversation yesterday with one of my leads and he insists if I step aside he will definatley leave and his applying out is not due to my illness or return to work but because of workload that has always been there. He said it was too much for me before I got sick and now it's just too much for all of us.

 

So with that light shed on it I will still discuss with my boss because I have a responsibility to ensure the best work environment for my team. We will figure it out. I am itching to add more hours though but reminding myself that I have to wait... I'm not good at the waiting! Hahhaa!

Sandi K.

[goldfish.girl]

Brilliant news Sandi

And look at you right back in there to address a staff-wide problem to help EVERYONE out. Good managers are hard to find, they are lucky to have you!

Michelle xx

[amexdm]

Hi All:

To Sandy, SL, Carl, GG or anyone else I've missed I have two important questions and would love to hear feed back from you all:

 

1. How many hours a week do you work right now and how many do you truly feel you physically CAN work??

 

My answer: I work 28 hours a week but feel I probably am able to work about 20 physically. But I am pushing it because I want to keep my job and know it is a full time job and will need to get back to it at some point. trying to keep all parties happy.

 

2. I have to be back to work full time by May 1st but not a hard deadline. How would you all approach it?

I work 28 hours per week and need to get to 40. My boss said it is 12 weeks away so I could literally add 1 hour per week if i wanted to. Or i could jump right to 32 hours now and do that for a month. I currently work 10:30-4:30 MTTF and 12-5 on Wednesday as a break day.

 

Anyone have any creative ideas?

Leaning towards the slow gradual return.

Thanks,

David

[Sandi K]

Hi David,

I've been slowly returning to work beginning last June. I should be at 22 hours now but have done some weeks with a few extra hours. If I stick with 22 I feel good. The occupational rehab therapist advises that I need to stay with the 22 hours for a few weeks and then add onto the schedule. I know that this week is an especially challenging one and I'm already planning to work a few extra hours from home. It will impact me.

 

The OT suggests setting small goals. She would break it down and instead of saying full time by may 1 she would say something along the lines of 32 hours by mid march (or whenever you think is right). Then the objective is to meet that first goal. Once there ride the wave for a few weeks until it doesn't seem so hard anymore. Then set a new goal. I'm not suggesting this is what will work for you or that you should meet these dates, just explaining how she helps me to move forward. My goal is still 3 full days a week! I'm still not there even though I sometimes put in more hours than that it's still so very exhausting. I need to be able to do 3 full days and feel good too.

 

We don't set new goals until I reach the first one.

Good luck David. You are really trying hard and I hope you do well. It sounds like you get lots of rest on weekends.

Sandi K.

[Carl]

I went back to work fulltime after two months. It was a big mistake. I get worn out way too fast.

I also stress about work every sunday night and get little sleep.

Sometimes I feel like I am going to work with a terrible hangover. Noisy distractions and light, still seem to bother me.

I do have lots of sick time banked away and I find sometimes Friday can be too much. I find it much easier to take the sick time and no guilt. I also take the entire day off if I have a doctors appointment.

The idea of increasing by an hour a week sounds like the best bet. if you find it is too much you can stop and explain that. Once you have committed to full time you have a hard time going back to anything less.

There were no occupational therapists or neurospecialists involved in my return to work. I regret not having someone in my corner.

[goldfish.girl]

Hi David,

I am no longer working so I can't really give you any good advice. I was medically retired in December and had been on sick leave for 14 months before then. I did try very hard for 2 years to be able to do my job again but the bits of my brain needed to do it took a hit in the bleed and don't work well now. Also tiredness was a huge issue for me & I had to keep dropping hours instead of adding to them.

The others who are back at work will be able to give you more helpful answers to your two questions. Good luck with your hours.

Michelle

[Louise]

Im like Michelle I was medically retired in April 2000, but I so admire those that can manage to get back to work....I did however do a course at college which confirmed that work is just not an option for me.....

[Skippy]

Hey there

I'd go for the adding an hour a day as often as you can each day so that your brain and your body get used to it - jumping in at the deep end may set you back in the long run.

Like I said in an earlier post - turn the "Can I do this?" into "I can do this" - try to stay in a positive frame of mind (especially hard with everything else thats going on too). According to my hubby - it was my stubborness that got me through this and back to work. I'm a social butterfly at heart so like to be around people, this probably helped too.

In the long run - slow and steady is the best way - as an hour a day slowly but surely and you'll get there.

[amexdm]

Hey there

I'd go for the adding an hour a day as often as you can each day so that your brain and your body get used to it - jumping in at the deep end may set you back in the long run.

Like I said in an earlier post - turn the "Can I do this?" into "I can do this" - try to stay in a positive frame of mind (especially hard with everything else thats going on too). According to my hubby - it was my stubborness that got me through this and back to work. I'm a social butterfly at heart so like to be around people, this probably helped too.

In the long run - slow and steady is the best way - as an hour a day slowly but surely and you'll get there.

Thanks Skippy,

You're right about can do. I always have a can do attitude. It's just my body that doesnt always come along I don't really have much of a choice with a sick wife. I am going to do 1 hour a week. It should be fine for now but it's not as easy as it sounds. 4 hours a month at 70 percent health will not be fun. I will make it though!

David

[Skippy]

Hey David

Well done for the attitude - you will get there, I know you will. Have faith x

[mshawx_head]

Hi there all,

Its a few weeks since I was on line. I've been working and we've been decorating the bedroom, and somehow there seems too little time left in the day. Certainly too little brain space.

 

I've been working "full contracted hours" since coming back in January after the hols. At first I was really on top of things but I'm realising that the fatigue accumulates over a couple of weeks with going to external meetings or even to the office where there is lots going on. Add additional stuff like decorating the bedroom (nice new bed & carpet ) and the brain space gets quite quickly used up.

I've been having some CBT, which has been really helpful for dealing with both the Psychological effects of a SAH but also with getting some of the emotional aspects of my life pre-SAH into the right perspective and shape. I've realised the SAH has given me a great opportunity to get a more healthy work/life balance, and I'm trying to think of the extra tiredness I suffer from now, as a friend to help me change the habits of a lifetime.

 

Before SAH, I was the sort of person who just drove themselves to get everything done. I didn't stop until it was all done. I guess I was pretty proud of being able to drive myself like that. Pretty proud of those very high energy levels, and often used the phrase that I was "blessed" with high energy. But who knows, it could have been this very quality that precipitated my head blowing up. I'm a NASAH, so no abnormality or aneurysm to pin what happened to, just a vein that blew up they think.

 

The unpredictability of the tiredness is frustrating, but there is also a predictable aspect to. If I am out at meetings for a couple of days on the trot, then I know I'm most likely going to be more tired than usual. If I'm not, that's great - a real bonus. So I'm kind of accepting the tiredness as a fact of life and enjoying it when it doesn't happen. Thanks to the CBT, I can accept this and realise its part of me changing the way I behave, and not feel guilty about not being able to be as driven as I was before.

 

The CBT is really helping me in that respect, and also helping me to deal with coming to terms with other emotional triggers. At the moment, I feel comfortable about telling people that I need to stop, and take a break, or just have to leave because my head has had enough. I do have my reservations that as time goes on, I'll feel less comfortable about doing that, in that people will have a stronger expectation that I'm fully recovered, but hopefully the CBT can get my head right on that !

 

To answer the threads posted during January about people's expectations of when you are going to be better. I've had the same thing. Luckily I have a very supportive boss, but I still find people forgetting that I'm not fully recovered, and not least of all because there is little external sign that I've been ill. Yesterday, I met with someone from one of our partners. He'd been very ill about a year ago, and ended up with an organ transplant. On the outside he looks great, but he too spoke of the extra fatigue he has to manage around since he was ill, and dealing with the expectation of others that he's like he was before, because he looks great from the outside.

 

So we're not alone in having an injury which because people can't see it, they forget about it, assume you're good and don't understand. Its not until you go through major illness that you can appreciate that proper recovery takes a very long time.

 

My next challenge is riding the Cape Argus cycle race on 11th March (I should say that I've done this for the last 8 or 9 years). I know I'll be even slower than usual, and I'll be more tired afterwards. It will take me a couple more days to recover, but its another important milestone which helps me track my recovery. Wish me luck !

Warmest wishes to everyone,

Mags

xxx

[amexdm]

Hi All:

Hope all is well with everyone's work and health. Last week was week 1 of my one hour a week phased return to work. It went ok. Monday i felt great, had rested all weekend. Tuesday I felt like rubbish, no idea why. Wednesday felt good again. Thursday felt HORRIBLE in the morning and thought I might have to go home. But I took some meds and felt better. Plus I had a 1:45 DR appt so I had a short day. Friday i felt pretty good and it was a slow day at work.

So I'm sure as most of you can relate it was a rollercoaster week. But the important thing is I MADE IT. Didnt miss any work and made it thru the week.

I hope everyone is well and thanks to all for the encouragement. Especially you Skippy, I want to hire you as my Life Coach, you need any extra money?

Resting today and hope next week goes well for me and everyone else.

Kind regards,

David

[Skippy]

Hey David

Bless you for your kind comment - its reward enough for me being able to help and encourage you through your recovery just as people here did for me over five years ago - but I AM SO GLAD that you managed your first week and didn't give in - you could've you know, when you felt rubbish, so be proud of yourself for not giving in and carrying on - soooo proud of you. Onwards and upwards my friend - even so remember to rest when you can.

Look forward to hearing how next week goes xxx

[SarahLou]

Hello David,

Well done you for getting through the week!

I increased my hours last week, won't deny that it's been tough, although struggling through being poorly hasn't helped.

Had a big chat with my gp on Friday, she's advised me not to increase my hours again for a while.

Not had a chance to mention this to my boss yet.

I agree, Skippy should become a Life Coach!

Keep us updated of how you're getting on at work.

Take care and keep smiling,

SarahLou Xx

Edited February 13, 2012 by SarahLou

[Skippy]

Bless you Sarah Lou

Happy to help anyone I can and as I love you all - my services are free of charge

[Sandi K]

I had a bear of a week last week. Worked too many hours with a cold on top of it. Now I'm paying... Sooo tired. But want to say to Sami that there were many times last week when I said to myself 'I can do this'!

Now to get through this week! ; )

Sandi K.

[Skippy]

Hey Sandi

Proud of you hun, really proud.

I know that it's easy for me to say "i can do it". I was very very lucky not to be too affected by my SAH and for a while I felt like a fraud when I read some of the stories here, but I realised that we do all heal at different rates, but if we can all adopt a positive attitude when faced with something we have to do and are worried about it, then hopefully we can all realise the full potential of the new "us". I do have to say though -being stubborn is a great help

[amexdm]

Hello All:

 

Sarah Lou-How did your talk with the boss go?

 

Sandy How was your week? Any better?

 

Carl- You're almost retired, so good for you, sounds like you're fairly well taken care of.

 

Skippy- I look forward as always to your positive comments. I wasn't kidding about the Life Coach comments they actually do have people here in the U.S. that do it for a living. I'll accept it from you instead though!

 

Everyone- Welcome to hear how your week was well.

 

My Week #2 of phased return to work-

This week went fairly well. Some bouts with fatigue but had some good days too. Took care of myself and drank lots of water. Thursday was REALLY tired but muddied thru the day. So overall, the important thing is that I MADE IT. No complications. Up to 30 hours now and 10 more to go. I can do this.

 

Skippy had said being stubborn helps. Well said. That I can be. But in a good way. I like challenges. If somebody tells me I can't do something it motivates me.

 

Another positive thing is since I only get paid for the hours I work then each week I give myself a one hour raise. Nice bonus. It may get tougher but then so will I. One thing that I think has helped me is I have more or less given up alcohol. I used to have several to many drinks on Saturday and watch my football. But I have given it up. Not forever, but right now my body just can't take it.

 

Hope all is well with everyone.

Kind regards,

David

[Skippy]

David

Well done - really proud of you. Take it from me, the more your body gets used to the hours you're doing, the easier it will get. Just remember that you need to rest in between when you can. Most of all don't let any little set back knock your confidence - you are doing brilliantly. It would seem you don't need my words of wisdom - you're doing just fine with your self motivation

[amexdm]

Well, well, well,

Week 3 did not go so swell. Mon, Tues, and Wed I felt sick, tired and fatigued to my max. Wednesday night I was walking upstairs with my work shirts and felt a sharp pain go through the back of my head, the same pain I had at time of SAH. It scared me for a minute and I barely made it up the stairs and laid down. Felt sick for an hour or so and just went to bed. Wife wanted me to go to hospital but Im sure it was just fatigue.

 

Thursday morning woke up and was tired literally from head to toe. I could feel the fatigue right down to the bone. I called in sick to work and slept til 3pm. It helped a little. Went to work Friday and was about fried by 4:30pm. Tried to go to market and walked out from exhaustion. Laid down after work and felt a little better. Sometimes wonder how I'll get thru the next day.

Try and rest this weekend and hope next week is better. What else can I do?

Amexdm

[Sandi K]

Hi David, your brain is telling you to rest. It's a tough place to be. You have the pressure of being needed at work but your brain wants more time to rest.

I've been reluctant to come back and update this thread for the past couple of weeks because I've been in the pit of fatigue. I feel like I'm moaning all the time and didn't want to negatively influence your efforts to add hours every week.

 

I'm at 15 months post NASAH and should be working 3 full days a week but I'm doing more, about 6-8 hours more spread out. I had a cold on top of it which didn't help. This week my legs started feeling heavy again, the floor is moving when I walk, the thought of exercise makes me cringe and I'm usually very disciplined with it, my vision is blurry, despite being on anti-migraine meds I had a migraine headache this week, and the tears were back in full flow. I'm not doing well at work, I don't feel I'm supporting my team as well as I could be and the calibre of work I'm handing to my boss just isn't what I want it to be. I meet with rehab and occupational health on Thursday.

 

It was a year ago this month when they sent me home after I tried to return to work too soon. Never in a million years did I think I'd still be feeling this way a year later.

I'm certain it gets better, lots of people here say it does. It just gets better at different times for all of us. And in the meantime I guess we have to go through this roller coaster while we try and find what feels right.

 

David, I hope your weekend is restful and next week feels better.

Sandi K.

[amexdm]

Hope I'm not boring anyone, but it's a good way maybe for me to track my progress.

Week 4 was better than Week 3. 3 good days and 2 bad. Went to Doc on Thursday and he wants to do an MRI next week. Made it thru the whole week and just came in a little later Friday.

 

Thursday I felt like I was 21 years old, Friday I felt like I was 81. Having a problem with one of my co-workers and has been brought to my attention that they think I am "milking" my brain injury. This is highly offensive given my poor health condition and it will be addressed with that person. I am partially disabled and will not put up this in the workplace.

 

Otherwise, I'm soldiering on.

How was everyone else's week?

David