Back To Work

[Carl]

It is good to monitor your progress. I keep a daily journal. At first I did it to cover my but at work but now I track my headaches and fatigue.

Ignorant people who have no clue say offensive things. I have had that a few times. I am also diabetic and this week I had a few lows where I got even foggier than I normally am . My co worker who also thought I was milking things, is seeing that the issues I face are real.

I have always been far to passive in the workplace and I think sometimes we need to take a stand and be counted.

Keep up the good work David

[goldfish.girl]

Hi David, that really is highly offensive. If only we were all 'milking' it that would make it so easy to stop & get our old lives back whenever we wanted! You are doing really well continuing with work and adding to your hours. Over time I have come to accept that a lot of people just don't get it & never will unless they or someone close to them goes through something similar. Not understanding is not an excuse for making unkind comments.

Don't let ignorant people get you down. You are doing well and you are doing your best.

Michelle x

[Skippy]

Hey David

3 good days and 2 bad days - pretty good going for your fourth week. Don't let the ignorance of people ruin what you have achieved - you have suffered, survived and recovered from in one go what some people will never go through in a life time. For what its worth - everyone on here is proud of you and we're all behind you every step of the way. You're doing really really well and you shoud be proud of yourself too.

Look forward to hearing about next week -just make sure you rest in the evenings and a much as you can at the weekend.

Take care of you.

[amexdm]

Carl, GG, Skippy, Sandy, SL and everyone else,

Thank you so much for your support. It is difficult to press on without people who understand what I am going through. As far as work goes, as Carl said sometimes we have to stand up and be counted. That day will be tomorrow. It is one thing when an ignorant person says or does unkind things. It is another when they are trying to get you to lose your job or make you quit. That's where i draw the line.

We'll see how the bully or coward reacts tomorrow when they're confronted of an accusation of bullying a disabled person. My bet is they'll fold like a cheap suit. Game on!

Thanks everyone,

David

[goldfish.girl]

Good for you David

Good luck!

Michelle x

[Winb143]

Do not let the idiot get to you David .....you be your normal self and you know you are better than him....

Just work and be yourself ...but I know how you feel...before my SAH I would put others in line...

Then after my SAH others used to be rude/bullied me...like the OT's . I didn't take it before my SAH ..and I wont take it

now I am more like my old self....

Be Happy David and smile you have done so well xx

Love

WinB xx

Edited March 5, 2012 by Winb143

[Skippy]

Hey David

Way to go!!!!

 

I'm having a similar problem with my office manager - the slightest thing I forget to do she comes down on me like a tonne of bricks - if the other administrator (her friend) makes a similar error - nothing is said. Unfortunately for me, my manager is just an evil b**** who has tried to "get me into trouble" with the Head Teacher a couple of times now. Luckily though, the Head has not so much sided with me, but not done anything about what the dragon is saying.

 

Last week she tried to get me into trouble cos I let someone in the school use a phone in the office. My thinking was - I answer the phone so if this person uses the Office Managers and other administrators phone (they share one) then my phone is still free for me to answer. Well, the manager came back into the office and made a song and dance about confidentiality (she had contracts laying on her desk and open on her PC). When the Head came in she tried to drop me in it. The Head's response?? "Well security in the office in the evenings is brilliant. Sami always maes sure that everything is locked away and locked up. So I suggest that if we're leaving our desks for any reason that we mae sure there isn't anything confidential on the desk or on the computer!" She gave me a little smile and left the room. Smug doesn't cover it lol.

 

She's the only person in the school that I really cannot stand. Some old colleagues and friends have suggested that she's threatened by me, jealous of how well I get on with everyone and tries to pull me down because of it. If that's the reason then I find it very sad that a 52 year old woman is behaving like that.

Good luck tomorrow and let us know how it goes.

[Sandi K]

David, I'm looking forward to hearing how it went. Good for you for standing your ground.

Sami, I have my own office and I still lock my computer when I run down the hall and I make sure I don't leave confidential papers out in view. You weren't in the wrong on this one, you were managing the resources very well by leaving your line open. Watch that dragon. Maybe sit down with her and ask her what her pickle is. ? : )

 

I'm sad. Hawaii can't come soon enough. I've made some pretty big mistakes at work. I've caught them and corrected them but I'm doing stuff I would never have done pre-SAH. The work I'm delivering to my boss isn't the same calibre as it was before. I met with occ health and rehab last Thursday and they said I'm still pushing too hard and expecting too much too soon. I felt ok about that but today my boss and I met and he verbalized what I know - the work just isn't the same as before. He's worried I doing too much but at the same time I know it won't be long before he's suggesting we find me something else.

 

I'm pretty sure they would accommodate me in a position with less responsibility so I know I really have nothing to complain about. But I'm sad because I'm not ready to give up yet. I told him that. He said he's not asking me to. How long before he is though? Is it fair to him and everyone else to wait through my recovery? I'm running uphill and exhausted.

I'm hoping Hawaii's sun shines a different light on this and I come back feeling ready to jump back in.

Sandi K.

[goldfish.girl]

Aw Sandi, sending you lots of love, I remember being in that position as if it were yesterday. It is very, very hard & worse when you know you are making mistakes. I found that even when I noticed before anyone else did & corrected them, I would still have to deal with the upset that I made them at all when pre SAH it just wouldn't have happened - ignorance would be bliss on some occasions. It's nearly time for Hawaii and I hope that beautiful scenery & sun help you to get a good perspective on things. You boss seems to be a kind person & doing his best to support you that's a good thing, it shows how valued you are as an employee xx

 

Sami - I hope you didn't hide that smug smile - the old dragon deserved the Heads comment Perhaps the Head isn't overly fond of her either? Make sure you stay one step ahead of her!

Michelle xx

[Skippy]

Hey Sandi and Michelle

Thanks for your comments. It did occur to me that the Head hadn't appointed the Dragon (she's been there for 12 years and the Head 5). So I think it's a case of riding the storm and not giving the Dragon anything to moan about - though she's the sort that'd moan about the position of my keyboard if its not to her liking!!!! I wouldn't be able to stay calm enough though to ask her what her problem is - besides that she's a sanctimonious so and so .

I know the Head appreciates how hard I work and at the end of the day, that's all that really matters

[Winb143]

When people upset you...do what I do ...call them all the names under the sun(under breath) .then laugh toss head in air and walk away still cussing under breath ..in my case limp away..lol

Head up shoulders back..as my Mum would say "Head up Win look em in the eye, you are better than them"

So remember do not let others upset you or they have won....Calm is good for us and our brain...so deep breathing after 3 ready

a1 a2 a3 Breathe in....Breathe out.....Bliming breathless now lol

Laters all

Love

Win xxxxxxxxxx

Edited March 7, 2012 by Winb143

[SarahLou]

Hello guys,

Wow, it's been a while since I've had a skip around in the 'back to work' tread!

David, honey how are you doing now? You've had some tough times at work, I hope things are improving for you now.

 

Sandi, big hugs to you. Enjoy your holiday, forget about work for a while.

 

Sami, wow that Dragon sounds like she needs locking in a dark room, with the Warden perhaps??!!

 

You are all doing so well with your work, be very, very proud of yourselves.

My work is going ok. I've had a few changes in my hours. Not a change in how many hours I work in the week but trying to increase my hours daily. I'm working longer hours on Monday's and Tuesday's, less on Thursday's. Once I can cope with working the busy Monday and Tuesday clinics i'll look at increasing the Thursday hours.sometimes I have good days, sometimes I don't. The last couple of weeks have been better. I've got home from work and have actually been able to hold a proper conversation with Miss C. I've also been able to make a proper meal where sometimes I've been so shattered I've been lucky to manage to cook beans on toast.

 

Last week I finally got to talk to HR, actually in person, not over the phone, she flew down from Head Office in Scotland. We had quite a good chat about things. They're happy for me to carry on as I am, increase my hours slowly. If in the future we need to look at changing my contract hours we'll look at that then.

 

I'm struggling with my ability to do work/housewife/mother. It's really tough doing it all. I didn't think going back to work would be this hard or take me so long to get back to how I was before SAH. I guess that's the point though isn't it. I'm not the same as I was before. I'm shattered after working two busy days together. In the evenings I'll be fine one minute, the next my brain goes into shut down and I've zonked out. I seem to be spending my days off catching up on sleep, my whole head hurts and my body is so tired my bones ache. Today I've had bad temple pressure, the worst ive had in quite a while.

 

Ho hum, each day is a new day.

I'll keep fighting, not ready to give in just yet.

Big hugs to you all.

Take care and keep smiling,

SarahLou Xx

[amexdm]

Update all:

First of all, thanks for the comments and support. I met with the VP yesterday and made it very clear that I thought bullying or intimidating of a partially disabled person (me) was inappropriate at work. Honestly I have let it go on for 3 months now and that's too long. My boss agreed and said she will have a talk with said person. We will all meet together tomorrow at noon. Should be interesting. I'm just trying to have a simple life. Go to work, come home, rest and take care of my sick wife. The drama at work needs to go. i'm bustin my butt with a brain injury, that's hard enough.

 

Sami- Glad you got on over the dragon, Our person sounds like the same. never happy, always complaining and nitpicking every little thing. I know how you feel. I'll get my smirk tomorrow.

Sandi-Have a great vaca and relax. I have made a few mistakes (minor) too and I hate it. Not like me.

Win- thanks for your encouraging comments, as always

SL- Where have you been? Glad you are doing a little better and theyre not pushing you.

Funny what SL said about being tired to the bone. Couple times a week I am so exh that I can feel the bones in my legs and feet. I am so tired that I can feel the fatigue all the way to the bone. Amazing but so true.

 

Tomorrow will be a long day. Work 8:30-3:30. Meeting at noon. At lunch I have to run to my doctors to pick up a prescription and come back. Have an MRI at 4:15 with the Neurosurgeon that they say will take 2 hours. Then to the drug store to pick up meds. Gonna be a loooong day.

Will update everyone on Friday night probably.

Take care everyone,

David

[goldfish.girl]

David, will be thinking of you tomorrow at noon (your time!) Well done for taking a stand against the work place bully, seems every work place has one

How is your wife getting on? I hope everything is looking up for you both

Michelle x

[amexdm]

Hello,

Thanks GG, you're a sweetie. Meeting went ok, I'll explain in detail when I get my brain back tomorrow . I am so exhausted this week it's unreal. I can feel my bones. Anyhows, wife's surgery got pushed to April 3rd, so kinda good for us to get our stuff together. She's doing ok but getting nervous again about the surgery. Gonna go home and collapse now!

Thanks,

David

[amexdm]

Hi all:

Well week 5 of phased return to work was interesting. I had my meeting with the VP to discuss my progress and the issue with my co-worker who doesn't think I'm sick. It all went well and I think my point was made clear that I am not 100% and am doing my best. But I won't accept individuals questioning if I'm faking it or not working enough. Of course the other person made it about them and said they were upset because I had said I go to bed around 1am. What the heck does that have to do with anything? Really?I take a nap after work and then go to bed at my normal time.

 

She also said that she had a history of aneurysms in her family and she was scared that she MIGHT someday have one too. Really? I might win the lotto too but until then I'm not rich. Some people just don't get it and never will. But Thursday and Friday we get along well and I expect that to continue.

I was exhausted by Friday but made it through. I had a weird attack at lunch on Friday. I felt dizzy, heart racing and my leeks got really weak. Almost went home but stayed and sucked it up. I did some breathing exercises and I seemed to calm down. Think was fatigue and maybe a short blood pressure rise. got lots of rest this weekend and feel better.

 

Thanks to all for listening, we'll keep moving forward.

How was the week for everyone else?

Take care,

David

[Teechur]

Well DUH David...don't you get that your SAH is all about HER!?

Good for you for being a self-advocate. Not only is it going to make things better for you, but for others. It's hard to self-advocate because we WANT to just go back to life the way it was, but the fact is we may not be able to perform on some days the way we used to. That shouldn't be questioned by cow-orkers. Period.

 

I'm sorry you had an event at work. Stuff like that is scary and I know at least for me, when something "odd" happens I get all freaked out that I might be having another SAH (even though I know it should never happen again).

 

I'm heading into week three back to work as a teacher and let me tell you, if I could turn back time and not go back I would. Too late now and I'll make it through, but holy cow I had no idea it would be so hard. I teach high school IT classes and worked Mon-Wed, then Fri. I took Thurs off because I knew I needed to be with it on Friday so I could check off skills.

 

Love my kids and enjoy being with them, but right now it feels like I'm coming home, trying to rest up for nighttime activities, dragging out to do those (I also run a small business as a fitness trainer, and have PT two nights a week), and then dragging home to bed. I did just pull out of being a part of a committee planning a race, and I'm considering sub-contracting out my bootcamp classes for awhile. Anxious about tomorrow even though the really is no reason for me not to go to work. Just don't like feeling so tired all the time.

[amexdm]

Hi folks:

Week 6 was fairly uneventful. I made it thru every day and felt a little better. I was off Friday as I had to take my wife to a few drs appts. I am now up to 34 hours a week, half way to my goal of 40. I started at 28 and have been increasing an hour a week.

 

I have decided at this time to stop increasing hours for the moment. Week 5 was very difficult and took alot out of me.I don't feel I'm physically ready to add any more and while my goal of 40 is not far off and achievable, I have to stop for a little bit. Not taking a step back, but just stopping. I have the support of my manager and the VP on this. If I could could just get a few co-workers to "get it" I'd be home free.

 

My "wild and crazy" Saturday night consisted of cooking some cod for wife and I. Otherwise not much.

How was everyone else's week? Thread kinda quiet for a bit.

Regards,

David

[Winb143]

Get a list of people who have not been as lucky as us and passed away, place it on colleagues desk ....ie George C Scott ???

No forget the above ..just do not bother with her....just keep going ...you are doing well ... Forget what she says..You are taking her light and she is not worth your anger.. just smile and laugh ......be Happy David

Regards

WinB143 xx

Edited March 18, 2012 by Winb143

[Sandi K]

Hi David!

You are doing amazingly well! Building as much time as you have as quickly as you have. Good for you! You deserve to sit at this plateau for a bit and allow your brain to catch up. You will keep going and you will get there.

I was in Hawaii Mon and Tues, home Weds, and worked Thurs and Fri so it was a pretty easy week for me.

Sandi K.

[Skippy]

David

Do not let the ignorant bliss of idiots bring you down - you are doing absolutely brilliantly - you are inspirational with your determination and attitude. Step back and look at what you have achieved in a short space of time. I doubt some of your co-workers could do the same in your position.

Stay positive - you have the correct balanced attitude and take pride in your achievements - ignore the small minded.

Well done you!!

[SarahLou]

Hello guys,

I'm back out from under that rock I've been hiding under!

 

David... Ahh honey you're doing fab, be proud of how far you've come. Good for you for sticking to the hours you feel you can cope with for the moment. You've a lot going on in your life.

I hope that you're wifes treatments are going well.

 

Ermm.. Well, this is a 'back to work' thread so I guess that I should really talk about being back at work but raaaarrr!!!! It's the last thing I want to do if I'm honest! Please help me guys because I feel like I'm fighting a battle I can't win.

 

I'm still only managing to work about 15hrs a week. I'm still having the good days and the bad ones. I've been back at work on phased return for 5mths now. I wasn't expecting it to be this tough, I only want to be able to get back to my pre SAH hours of working 3 days a week. Starting to wonder if that will ever happen.

 

At times I feel really worthless and useless. For goodness sake, it's not like I have a high powered, mega demanding job.

I love my job, I've always loved my job.

As ever, it doesn't help that we're so short staffed.

 

I can't multi task, I can't work as fast as I used to be able to, I have to double check everything I do.

My co wokers are great, they step in when they need to, help me with memory problems. They too can tell when I'm getting tired or stressed as I'll start struggling with my words. But sometimes they do forget, and they will pile too many tasks on me at once.

 

I'm still walking into work, I'm being a stubborn mare and won't give this up. I can now manage the walk in less than an hour, Teecher.. You'd be proud of me!!

I know I should get the bus, or bus half way, walk the rest. But no. I'm not giving up my walk into work.

 

Right now I'm just a bit mopey because I'm so damn tired of the fight all the time, so tired.

Think I'll go hide back under that rock again for a while, I'll cherish the darkness.

I wish you all well, hope your back to work journeys are going ok.

As ever, we just take one day at a time.

 

David, please keep us updated about your wife, big hugs to you both.

Take care and keep smiling,

SarahLou Xx

[Sandi K]

SarahLou how about sticking to 15 hours for awhile and just leaving it that? Maybe don't think about adding on for a month or 2? Would it help to remove the pressure of adding hours? Give yourself credit for doing what you are doing. Any multitasking after SAH is incredibly hard - at least for me.

Sandi K. Xoxoox

[Carl]

Last week I took a letter from my doc requesting a mid week break for me to rest. It took a week to get a response from human resources. Not so much a response but a meeting with the health and safety officer. He is the most passive aggressive person I have had the "pleasure" to meet in some time.

" we are not denying your claim, but we wont just sign it off just so Carl can come and go as he pleases"

"it isnt about the money but there are many others off right now, if we sign off on this letter it could cost us 6 weeks pay"

 

"If there is a holiday in the week do we split your time off to half a day monday and half a day friday"....... not sure what mid week means to this man.

and the kicker... I told him even though I can retire in a month, I want to continue for at least another year to maximize my pension. I enjoy my work His response.....after I have been with the company for 33 years..... Perhaps you would be happier and healthier if you worked at Home Depot three days a week.

So they are writing a letter back to my doc for clear instruction. The letter will have to go through me.

 

The doc in return will write a letter back to the employer, which in turn must go through me. Doc is on holidays for the next two weeks. They may get it all sorted out by the time I retire.

In the mean time. I may have to call in sick on wednesday and see what happens.

I dont think there is anything anyone can do to me that would be as bad as the SAH headache so bring it on

[amexdm]

hey all:

Middle of week and just caught a cold. Still waiting on results of MRI.

Sandi-Hope your trip was good and work is well

Skippy-thanks for your support,You hit the nail on the head again! The few at my work who don't get it would never go through what I go thru just to get out of bed and GET READY for work. Brushing my teeth and shaving is using up most of my spoons for the day already. But there's nothing that sheer will and determination can't overcome.

SLou- Stay with it. You're doing great. Steady goes the course. I can't multi task as well as I used to either. But I have no choice. I have to double check my work also. Yesterday i had to wire a bank transfer for 1.9 Million dollars. Think I checked that one 3 times. Thanks about my wife, actually her surgery is April 3rd. Hoping for a positive outcome.

Winb-I do smile every day, just not as much as I used to. I will get there. But I won't let anyone else bring me down, I can promise you that.

Carl- How did Wednesday go? Hope ok. Sounds like they're not super understanding, but on the bright side you can retire soon. That's great. enjoy your time off. I've got 15-20 more years to go so I must keep pushing.

Night all,

David