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Hi. New and looking for hope.


Artisan
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Hi,

im rachael and my partner had a SAH in august. he is still in hospital but has been moved 50+ miles away and i havent seen him since he got moved as i have no transport, am off work with a bad foot, am a carer for my daughter and aunt who have cerebral palsy and dementia respectivly and have no support network. finding it really hard to get through such a hard situation right now and am feeling a bit hopeless :(

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Hi Rachel,

You have a huge amount to deal with at the moment so I'm not surprised you are starting to fall apart. I am my sons carer (as well as recovering from an SAH myself) and I know how lonely & isolating this can be. Do you have any Social Work involvement for either your aunt or your daughter? I found them to be really helpful at points where I felt like I wasn't coping. They put help in place for me to get to a couple of my sons hospital appointments as I had no transport at that time. Perhaps they could offer help to look after your aunt & daughter a couple of times a week so you can visit your partner? I would really urge you to ask for their help, you might be surprised by what they can offer - but they won't unless you tell them how much you are struggling at the moment.

Good luck, hope you can get something sorted.

Michelle x

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Hi Rachel,

Michelle has offered sound advice particularly as she has experience of caring commitments too. The best advice is often from those who have been through the same. I am sorry that things are tough for you right now.

Your Local Authority need to know about your situation so that they can help you.

You may also want to consider contacting Carers UK. They have a helpline on 0808 808 7777. This is a link to their website http://www.carersuk.org/.

This is a link for finding help where you live http://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/finding-help-where-you-live , giving telephone numbers for local offices across the UK to help those with care commitments.

Good luck with everything.

Lynne xx

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Hi Rachel,

Sorry to hear of the difficulties you're having. Have you tried ringing the hospital? Sometimes they have volunteer schemes where they will provide transport to and from or can at least put you in touch with people nearby who also visit the hospital and can provide you with a list. It's worth asking at least. CAB can also often help. I hope it works for you. Keep your chin up, you seem to have a lot on your plate at the moment. Let us know how you get on and if there is any further help or advice you need there's usually someone in this group who can suggest a workable solution.

Good luck

Macca

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Thank you so much for all the support and ideas. i will certainly follow them up.

Things have changed since my last post. my partner was moved as id already said - to be closer to his parents who will be taking over care of him when he leaves hospital. He has since decided to end our engagement and got his best friend and parents to tell me this as he is in a very bad place since waking up emotionally and cant cope with it unfortunately and is finding things really difficult to come to terms with and his parents are telling me hes having tantrums and breakdowns (which isnt like him at all). He is devastated with the decision he has made but that doesnt help me pick up the pieces. I now have no contact with him or his family (as they are elderly and also finding this really hard as all their attention must go on their sons recovery)

So now i have to just wonder if hes ok and try to get on with my life as if nothing has happened. Its hard......thanks everyone for help, But i wont have reason to come on here again due to the situation. x

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I too am so sorry to read your post, tantrums and stuff is more than likly the SAH none of us think clearly in those early days sometimes we do what we think is best & dont realize just what stress we're causing...

take care, hugs

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  • 4 months later...

hi i'm new to this forum, but wanted to quickly give you an update, rachael and i are back together, stronger than ever, i will when i get time give a full account of what happened to both me and rachael !!!

Edited by andy1001
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