Is this the norm?

[ClareM]

As many of you know I had my Nasah with Hydrocephalus and an evd in February 2015. No cause was found and I have made a good recovery. I am back running - 6 miles last night  - and am back at work and just about to start a new job next week.

 

Yesterday however, I was asked to go to another pharmacy to help out. I had never been to this pharmacy before and although he computer system was more or less the same, everything else was different. They were quite behind and I spent the day helping them get more up together. They were lovely people and we did a lot in the 6 hours I was there.

 

However when I finished I felt shell shocked, my temples were throbbing and I seriously considered not going for my run. I decided to go though as running makes me feel better usually as I don't need my brain  to do it.  . It was a good long run, I did suffer some neck stiffness after but that is fairly normal for me caused by my running style I think (I have had it before the sah). Usually when I get home from running I feel physically tired but not mentally.

 

Last night and today I feel exhausted. I think it was the working in a new environment and I am now worried about starting my new job. Yesterday a lot of the work was the same or similar to what I have been used to but next week it will be totally different. Hospital pharmacy is a world away from community.

 

I am hoping I have made the right decision in this job change. Does anyone else have experience of an almost backward step when tackling new work and is this the norm or is it just me?

 

Thank God it's my day off today, trying to take it  easy but some things have to be done. I sometimes think I should be back to normal by now and worry that I am making more out of this than is necessary. But with no one else except my BTG friends who have experience of this,  it is hard to decide how I should feel.

 

Any advice?

 

Clare xx

[SarahLou]

Hi Clare,

Big deep breath lovely lady....

For me.. Yes very much the normal. I find it very hard to cope with change within work environment, and indeed out of it.
As you know I also work in pharmacy and we are currently undergoing a huge refit. When I walked into work last Thursday I very nearly cried. My boss knew how this would effect me and took the time to show me around and explain what's been done and what is yet to be changed. Everything is in a different place, everything looks different.

 

My manager and all colleagues have been great. I spent the few days that followed with bad head pains and massive temple pressure. Then Monday there was yet more change to cope with. After work yesterday all of me hurt. Manager is keeping close eye on me, asking how I am, how I'm coping.
It will take time, I know that, but right now I wonder how I will cope even in the here and now.

You will be ok Clare, have patience and understanding with yourself. Be open and honest with the colleagues that are by your side each day. Take breaks when you can (now, I'm roaring out loud as I type this as I know how hard it is to get a break in pharmacy!!) drink plenty of water. Make sure you have proper quiet brain rest time after work, lay in the dark, no tv, no conversation etc, just shut down for a little while.

I personally don't think of getting back to 'normal' anymore, how can I, I've had my brain re-arranged. I have faught hard to get where I am, and I will continue to take each day as it comes, the good and the bad. Yes, I still rant and rave sometimes, I'm often too tough on myself, but for me getting back to work, and coping with a complete career change has helped massively with my recovery.

I am who I am now, different, but I cherish every day.

Getting back to work after SAH is a massive achievement and going for a job change is very brave,be very proud of yourself.

Take care,

SL Xx

[Louise]

I just don't know how you manage a job and running Oh how I wish I envy you...

 

6 hours and then running think you did too much...

 

I so wished I was 'normal' but what is 'normal' even when I thought I was 'normal' we have to make the most of how we are 'now'

[Winb143]

Well Clare Clare,

 

Who over did it Yesterday !!  hands up who thinks Clare over stepped her mark ..??

 

See Wins hand up,  just over a year and you are taking on the world, good for you but rest up today and have an early night.

 

Do not worry about the job you know you will be able to do it in your stride, and although you do not realise it you must be stressed a little ..new job,  run, type on BTG cook a meal what will you wear on your first day in the new job and so on lol 

 

Now Trust me !! lol  I am a pro at stress and although you have covered it well you must be a little nervous. 

Now Go Get em Girl and show them what us TBI's can do.

 

You Will be fine.

Love ya lots and go and show them All

You wont mess up but if you do sing ha ha  xxxxxxxx

 

Be Happy and Confident xx  You can do my pills that's how much I trust you lol

 

Win xxxx xxxx

[Sharlua]

Hi Clare
Even though I am not doing a new job I have had a similar experience in doing some new tasks, where I have been totally wiped out at the end, got quite panicky doubting my ability. I do think in starting a new job you should have an induction period and whilst I think it will be challenging and you may experience headaches in the early days, hopefully as it becomes more familiar they will lessen.

 

I think what SarahLou has said is excellent advice, I hope it goes really well, remember the reasons you are changing jobs and I hope it goes well x

[Chris G]

You sound a lot like me. Nasah with no cause. Evd and then back to work. Originally my surgeon told me I might have headaches the rest of my life. But at my last checkup he said any headache was just a headache. However sometimes I have a headache that is right behind my eyebrows just like the days after I left the hospital. I never had these before so think they are related.

 

Stress like you experienced at work does seem to bring them on. But they don't seem to last long. And I do get tired more easily. I run too but am only up to 3 miles so far at a time. I think like me you are fine but not quite the same. Some stress equals headache and being tired. Hang in there.

[Greg 21.01.15]

Hi Clare,

 

This sounds all rather familiar. I am just a few weeks ahead of you, NASAH mid Jan 2015, and I have still to really balance what I do, and if I forget to moderate things it (fatigue) comes around and bites me hard. I've been on a trial phased return to work the last few weeks, two mornings at home and one in the office, and the first morning back was a Tuesday morning the same day I usually had my training session at the gym in the p.m.

 

At the time the training session felt good, I like you used exercise to clear the cobwebs, and energise myself. Anyway, felt a bit tired after the session, but as the afternoon & evening wore on I felt worse and worse. The next day I felt really ill from it. I hadn't worked that morning really any longer than I had done previously and then trained, just a different environment (in the office) and that was enough. It took me two days to feel vaguely human again. I've moved my training session to a different day of now! 

 

Small changes to activities can make a such a difference to the onset of fatigue. I went out for a walk with a friend, not someone I know really well the other day, exercise wise it was easy, no challenge, but because I didn't know this guy and his friend so well, the concentration to make conversation for 90 minutes wiped me out for the rest of the weekend. 

 

I find it frustrating that I can't now separate the mental exercise from physical exercise because of the impact on fatigue. Pre SAH I had a far greater margin to train when mentally tired and to benefit from it. Nothing like training hard after a frustrating day at work. Now I am having to consider if there has been a mental workout during the day, then the exercise has to be lighter, a walk instead of getting on the turbo trainer etc etc.

 

The fact that on a good day you can get out and put 6 miles down post SAH is superb, may be just not after a heavy day at work. I think we are learning similar lessons. Good luck Clare, and please send me any top tips, all grateful received!

[ClareM]

Thanks for all your comments. Gave the running a miss on Thursday, thought I would give myself a rest. Not sure if I feel better for it, I always feel a bit guilty if I don't go. Last day at my job today, officially unemployed until Monday   . I cannot believe that my boss alias my best friend (or not) didn't even sign my leaving card. I feel that my life has changed immeasurably in the last 12 months. Sah surely shows who are your friends and who aren't and I now know who is important in my life and who isn't. 

 

One thing i am glad of is this site............. thanks everyone 

 

Clare xx

[kpaggett]

Moving your legs on a run does take brain power even if it puts your mind into a flow state.  Also, doing something new puts stress on the brain...this can be good stress, but it is stress.  Whenever I do something new, I back off on my regular routine or just rest up and then I'm ready again.  It's like a recharge or refueling that we need sometimes that the general population can get away with not doing.  It is, however bad for them as well and often shows up in other ways.

 

Really, when people say listen to your body, it isn't saying listen to what you are telling yourself...your mind isn't always your best guide after NASAH.  This takes experience too.  A year isn't enough.  At some point, you will know what will throw you off and what you can handle and be able to take steps most of the time.  Even now 41/2 years post, there are somethings that just throw me that I don't expect to do so.  However, they are rare.

 

Look at this incident as a learning experiment.  You can expect some of this when you begin a new job as well.

Watch for signs,

~Kris

[Winb143]

Sorry your ex Boss was a bit of a so and so, but move on and up Clare.

 

The times I have heard people say that after a bleed they know who their real friends are.

 

Now I know you will do well and if you feel tired have a longer tea break ie take liberties lol xx

 

Have a good day at new job when you start !! lol.

 

All the Best

 

Win xx xx

[Colleen]

Hi Clare,

I had an SAH due to a ruptured aneurysm in 2008. The aneurysm was coiled, but during all the diagnosis thy I have been very cfound a second one that was not a candidate for coiling, so I had a craniotomy with both aneurysms being clipped. I was out of work for three months, then went back full time to a job I had been doing for over seven years. I was pretty burned out with the job and ready for a change prior to the SAH, but just did not have the confidence and stamina after.

About a year and a half ago, a position I had long been interested in came open, I applied, and was chosen. It is a similar line of work and I knew a lot of my new coworkers from prior meetings, etc., but I had a lot of new things to learn and trainings to attend. Some days I am very confident and competent, others I am just sure I am too " damaged" to ever be as effective as my coworkers, like two steps forward, one step back.

 

However, I do know I am my own worst critic. I also know I needed that change, just as you do, and I'm much happier where I am. You would not have sought a new position if you had been satisfied where you were, and with the old baggage gone, you may find yourself with more energy and enthusiasm. The first weeks likely will be tough, but once you learn the new routine, you should be fine.

Hope you have a relaxed Sunday and best wishes for a fabulous start on the new job.
Colleen

[Gilly]

Dear Clare, since my sah I have found that I am so very sensitive to people that I often misread things. Are you sure not signing your card was not your friends way of saying she doesn't want you to leave? Just a thought x