Chelle C Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 Hi Everyone, Well here I am 4 years down the road from my SAH and I still can't believe it's been that long, although I am doing ok I still have those days where it feels like it just happened yesterday, I laughed at myself this morning, why? Because the morning of my SAH as Verdun was going out to walk our little dog Molly, I said I was going to nip to the loo and jump in the shower, shortly after getting in the bathroom it all started to happen, I have not said those words in the same sentence since then, even typing that has given me a really strange feeling. I don't know if anyone else feels that way. Anyway back to the last 12 months, it has probably been one of my most difficult since SAH, in May last year I had the traumatic events with Verdun, I didn't think things could get any worse after that but I was wrong. Early hours of Wednesday 2nd August my mam was rushed into hospital, I spent the whole day at her bedside with my dad and 2 sisters, we were eventually told that she was very seriously ill and Would be staying in hospital. Later that night, I was rushed in to hospital with a suspected rebleed, thankfully it was not, they kept me in over night and let me go about teatime on the Thursday, they put the pain and weird head down to stress. I hadn't been home for half an hour when I got a phone call from my sister to say I had to get back to my mam's bedside as she was critically ill, Sadly she passed away on 4th August as you all know, that was the worst day of my life, I can honestly say that really did give me real pain in my heart and I am still struggling with the fact that she is no longer here. I can honestly say that the love and support I had from my BTG family was probably the one thing that helped me through those very sad and difficult days, I can't thank you all enough, I will be forever grateful that I had a place to turn at that time and as usual you were all there for me. Then in December I lost my friend to cancer, that knocked me sideways, it was then that I decided I had to do something positive, I decided to raise the funds for a Memorial Bench in her memory and I did that and it really helped to ease the sadness I was feeling. As it is coming up to 1 year since my mam passed away I have organised a cupcake day at my caravan to raise some money for the Alzheimer's society, I just needed to do something to change the way I was feeling, doing this has helped me a lot, it has given me something to focus on. I feel a lot happier. Sorry if this sounds depressing, it's a true reflection of my last 12 months and is not meant to upset or offend anyone. I have come a long way since 2014 and improvements have been good, memory though is still not good, still suffer the fatigue mostly when I push myself to far, still haven't learned that lesson yet!! Now this wonderful support group, Karen, thank you so so much for having this great place where I can come and feel safe, this group has as I've said many times been my saviour, to all the member's I thank each and every one of you for always having the right words to make me feel better and for making me laugh out loud and have Verdun look at me as if I have lost the plot? I have made some fantastic friends in the last few years, I hope I have helped some fellow survivor's along the way, if so then that is great. I'm looking forward to celebrating with Jan tomorrow, so here's to the next 12 months, just got to be better than the last 12, I will end this epic post with these words, Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, It's about learning to dance in the rain. Thank you all so much Lots of love Michelle xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swishy Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Hi Michelle, My goodness you certainly did have quite a year. I am so inspired by how you took your sorrow and did something positive with it. Sometimes life breaks our heart and yes we do need to try to dance in the rain. My vasospasm event happened in the shower and I will say this to you...yes I get a very almost fearful feeling when I am alone in the house in the shower. Reading your post even gave me a jolt. I think it is just such a shocking event it doesn't leave us. Wishing you a another great trip around the sun .... Jean Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Congratulations on your anniversary may you have many more xxx Have a great day today xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
subzero Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Michelle, thankyou for a lovely reflection on your past 12 months of your four year journey post SAH. You are a very valued member of BTG, and the comments you make about BTG members being there for you, can equally be said for your support to others. It has been a challenging year for you on many fronts and I hope this year coming will be a time to really enjoy your caravanning, cake baking and coming back home to your new house. Thanks Subs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Michelle, the very fact that you have come through ,not only your own illness, but also the other grief you have suffered and you still find the time and heart to write a wonderfully inspiring post says volumes about the you. You are, as Subs says, a valued member of this community and even now, are finding the time among your grief to meet up with Jan and help her through her difficult time. It is a privilege to "know" you xx Happy anni-versary you amazing woman xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle C Posted June 9, 2018 Author Share Posted June 9, 2018 Thank you all so much for your lovely words, touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes, I am sitting in the sunshine waiting for Jan & John to arrive, so looking forward to seeing them both. Thanks again everyone. Love Michelle xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aandrea Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Lovely post Michelle and Thank You you have helped me xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 58 minutes ago, Chelle C said: I am sitting in the sunshine waiting for Jan & John to arrive, so looking forward to seeing them both. Give Jan a big hug from me please Chelle (and, of course, sending you one too xx) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClareM Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Congratulations Chelle on your anniversary. You have certainly come a long way. Hooe you have a wonderful time with Jan and John. Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kempse Posted June 9, 2018 Share Posted June 9, 2018 Congratulations on reaching the 4 year mark Michelle. I know you had some testing times over the past year in particular, but you still manage to help others on here - I hope you've had a good time with Jan today, Take care, Love, Sarah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle C Posted June 9, 2018 Author Share Posted June 9, 2018 Thank you all so very much for all your lovely words. Love Michelle xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharlua Posted June 10, 2018 Share Posted June 10, 2018 Belated wishes Michelle hope day went well with Jan and very poignant posts shows strength of character x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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