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Looking for some assurance and advice


Guest Kara2810
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Guest Kara2810

Just a quick up date............ My referral to the hospital has come through and Im off to see a Consultant tomorrow. Seems ages ago since I was referred (I suppose its all the worry). I shall be back to let you all know how I get on.

Laura

P.S Thank you so much for all your kind words and reassurance, it really does help.

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Hi, My name is Laura and I am a 35 year old single mum living in bedfordshire in England.

My brother suffered a fatal Subarachnoid Heamatoma last year at the aged of 36 that threw my world up side down. I first found this site about 3 weeks after he passed away looking for answers and wanted to join this site then. But after reading some of the posts on the site, you all seemed so stong and positive that you were surviving I felt that it would be wrong to off load my worries onto people I didnt know.

So, after spending about 3 weeks trying to figure out why I couldnt email my brother in heaven (silly I know but grief is a strange thing), I decided to find out all I could about this illness, why it happened, what are the warning signs and how it could have been prevented.

Since James' death I have been suffering from pounding headaches that basically stop me in my tracks as well as being woken from my sleep with pounding in my ears. Initially I put this all down to panic attacks and the stress of the grief my family and I have had to deal with. However, It would seem that during my investigations I have found that siblings have a 15% chance of having the same illness.

So after 12 months of worry, I finally went to my GP and expressed my concerns (stating that I didnt want him to think I was a hypocondriac) and sure enough, he has written to my local neurologist to organise a scan to that I can find out one way or another.

I have to know for my own piece of mind because without it, each time I get a headache I panic and start crying and I dont want to spend the rest of my life not knowing. Of course the opposite point to this coin is that my brother never knew, fell asleep in his bed and never woke up. There is no better way to go I believe, just not at the age of 36.

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Hi Laura,

Sorry for the loss of your brother...

I had a SAH earlier this year and if I had a choice that I could have had surgery before the rupture then it is definiatley what I would have done. Regardless of the outcome of the scans for you, I think the main thing is that you will know. Just by not knowing you are probably thinking the worst anyway and it just becomes a vicious circle.

You are amoungst friends here, and anything at all you want to ask, please do.

Welcome to the site my friend

Hugs

shiree

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Hi Laura :D

A very warm welcome to behind the gray...i hope you find this site as helpful and supportive as i have.

So sorry for the loss of your brother....and not surprised you feel how you do. It is good you are having some tests...it will give you peace of mind or if there is a problem they can sort it. I like Shiree, had no warning no symptoms mine just ruptured, came from nowhere and is not in my family. Thinking of you and hope to hear more from you.....you are not alone.

Take care

Love Tinaxx

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Hi there Laura

So sorry that you lost your brother. You are doing the right thing though in having scans to check, at least then you will know and if on the off chance there is anything there they can sort it. Goodluck with them and welcome to BTG. Jess.xxx

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Headaches are not an indicator of an aneurysm, when we were looking for reasons why etc we had a long talk with my Neurologist and he pointed out that there were other symptoms that would accompany any pain that one would cause. Headaches can be caused by a myriad of things, the worry and grief caused by your brother's sudden passing being among them.

The odds of you having an aneurysm are long, the odds can be shortened by two or more immediate family members having suffered from one AND your family having a history of polycystic kidney or marfans. So the odds are very long against you having an aneurysm in your brain! Even if you do have one you've got to look at the odds of it bursting, again long odds on that! There is a reason why there are so few of us around you know! Each one of us is the result of being on the wrong end of almost lottery winning odds. Those of us with children have probably spent long nights wondering about how the odds are stacked for them, we all have learnt to live with that.

I'm sorry that your brother passed away but you have to move on, talk to those close to you about how you feel. Life is way too short for worrying about something that you have no control over.

Scott

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Hi Laura and welcome to BTG

I am sorry to hear about your brother and can understand that you are worried too. It is good that your have made an appointment i am sure everything is fine but at least it would put your mind at ease.

This site has been very helpful for me and the others so when ever you need some assurance and advice, you will find it here.

Take care.

Myra xx

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hi laura

welcome to the site im sorry about your brother i really am but to see you here means that you are moving on and the fact you are seeking help via what seems to be a genuine dr who cares i hope will set your mind at rest and you will be able to move on in the knowlege that hopefully you may be in the clear this site as helped me no end and is still doing so for which i will never be able to repay except in being here for everyone else dont be shy everyone one here has made a remarkable recovery and are here to support any others that find us

one thing which might help is that your brother didnt suffer and you have to remember the good times as he would have liked you to dont dwell on his passing but remember the fondness and happiness you had together and pick one bit in particular and hold on to it and be happy dont let it drag you down i hope i your case things are ok and you find yourself in the clear but we are always here to support and cheer you up as the song goes [you are not alone ] i wish i knew who sung the song someone said it may have been micheal jackson ?? but laura hold in there and keep us updated and stay in touch there are many signs given off but it could also strike without warning but hey we could walk off a pavement and get hit by a bus thats the way of life be happy and go for it laura enjoy try not to let it take over your life and good luck

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My dad just said yes it was Micheal Jackson there we go lol.

I was worried about my children at the start aswell inheriting them however life is to short to worry and at the moment one is 5 soon and the other 13months they are enjoying being kids and I am gonna let them. And at least I am here if they ever do get that thunderclap headache. Jess.xxx

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Guest ElaineW

My mum had her SAH May 2008 - I asked her Consultant if it was a hereditary condition and I was told there is no evidence to suggest it, more importantly headaches are not necessarily a warning sign. (as already stated by another member) I know it is hard not to worry and you are doing the best thing to put your mind at rest but I am sure there will be no problem. Soory to hear about your brother and you try not to worry.

Elaine

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Hi Laura,

So sorry to hear about your very sad loss and you shouldn't have felt that your post would have worried us. :)

Most of us know that we're very lucky to have survived this and we're well aware that some people aren't unfortunately, as lucky.

Most of us try to adopt a positive attitude, but recovery isn't always an easy road to travel and many of us have our ups and downs when trying to cope with life post SAH. It can take quite a while to come to terms with the life changes that some of us face and to stop thinking that every headache or tweak that we get, isn't about to set off another brain haem. The fear of another one happening is pretty common and can drive you mad with the worry.

I hope that you're able to find some peace once you've had the scan .... may be the headaches were/are stress related as you've had a lot of grief to deal with and a huge shock that's bound to take it's toll on you.

Good luck to you and please feel free to ask anything....xx

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Hi Laura

What a fantastic name! welcome to BTG

Sorry to hear about you brother, that must have been a big shock.

You are right to go to the docs if you have any concerns, that's what they are there for.

We are all here as a great support to one another so feel free to join in and make loads of new friends as well as hopefully help you with your recovery process at the same time

Love and hugs

Laura

xx

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Dear Laura

I am sorry to hear about your brother's death. I am glad though your GP took your concerns seriously and has referred you to the hospital. It is probably extremely unlikely you will have a SAH but my gran and my mum both died from SAH and after my having one, the hospital was keen to scan any close relatives I have though in my case I don't have any siblings. I don't mean to scare you with this - I think it is a small percentage of cases where there is a hereditary link.

Let us know how you get on at this hospital.

With best wishes

Anne x

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Hi Laura

And a very warm welcome to the site.

So sorry to hear about your brother and ditto what the others are saying you are doing the right thing having it checked out its probably nothing just stress causing it but it'll put your mind at rest.

While I am a survivor I also know what its like to be on your side of lossing someone, my husbands cousin died 2year ago, they thought she had a viral infection gave her an injection and sent her home.......

Hope to hear from you again soon

take care

Louise.xx

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HI LAURA

I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR BROTHER.

I LOST MY BROTHER 17 YEARS AGO HE WAS 30 DIED FROM HEAD INJURIES FROM A CAR ACCIDENT. I WAS A MESS JIM HAD TO TAKE ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM BECAUSE I WAS GETTING HIVES IN MY THROAT AND MAKING IT DIFFICULT TO BREATH, DUE TO THE STRESS I HAD PANIC ATTACKS I COULDN'T SLEEP I COULDN'T CRY I WAS IN QUITE A STATE OF DEPRESSION. BUT OVER TIME THE FEELINGS PASSED.

MY GREAT GRANDFATHER DIED OF A SAH ON MY DADS SIDE AND I HAD A SECOND COUSIN HAVE AN SAH ON MY MOTHERS SHE HAD TO RELEARN TO DO EVERYTHING. AND THEN ME IT IS VERY OVER WHELMING TO ANYONE.

I SUPPOSE HAVING A SCAN WILL GIVE SOME PEACE THAT WAY BUT THE ODDS ARE HIGH SO TRY NOT TO LET YOURSELF GET TO STRESSED.

WE ARE ALL MORE THAN HAPPY TO HELP YOU DON'T HESITATE TO ASK.

LUV HUGS EVELYN :mrgreen:

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Hi Laura

Welcome to BTG.

So very sorry to hear about your brother - what an awful shock you've had.

Any questions that you want to ask - feel free.

I'm sure that if you're scanned it will put your mind at rest, but I've also been told that this isn't hereditary unless two or more immediate members of your family have suffered the same.

Take care and keep in touch.

Love Sami xxx

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