iola

This is the first time I've read this, and, well, wow! I go along with life in hope for better days. They do come and they do go. I do have spiritual faith and it is a comfort as this site is as well. I feel like there comes a time when people just do not want to hear it anymore. Thank goodness everyone here does not mind. I

Hi Conni, I am so sorry you are sad. What a challenge to go through something like this alone. You need to give yourself credit and see how strong you are. I am almost six months from mine and will be glad to see the one year mark. Honestly, I am excited that you posted and 10 years from your SAH and have had no re-bleeds. There is hope and you are living proof of that hope. I am learning that it s okay to be me now. I flat out tell people if I cannot remember a word or have trouble getting my words out of my mouth. To know me before all this was to know a person that wanted to be seen and heard. Now, I am comfortable sitting back and watching. Be kind to yourself. You are a survivor! Iola

I have to tell you I just laughed when I read this because its all true. Although, I am sorry about your relationship with your mom. Iola

Juliette, I am so sorry you are going through the torment of not knowing. My friend had an issue similar to this and she went physically to the doctors office and then to the hospital and refused to leave until she had answers. They had been giving her the run around for three weeks and it was a cancer issue! They actually misplaced her biopsy information and never sent it for testing. Of course, no one took responsibility. We must be our own advocates. Are you near the place/s you can visit? It is ridiculous not to give you the information you need, if for nothing else then to help you sleep at night. I do hope all goes well. Keep us posted. iola

All of this is true. Here's an example: My boss wants me to fly next month for a meeting. That would mean getting on a plane and flying and staying in a room alone. I am no where near ready for that. Frankly, I'm scared. When I told him he said, "Well, what does your doctor say?" Who cares what my doctor says. It's my head, my brain, my body that has to deal with the consequences!! Urrr.....Made me mad. I agree with Teechur, I do not think most are purposely being unkind, they just do not understand and never will until they go through it themselves. I know that I am blessed and thank God every day for my life. But, just like what you said, Susan, something is missing and it is hard, if at all, to explain. iola

Speak to your boss. Best thing you can do for yourself and the company is let them know how you feel. I think we all tend to want to over achieve after our illness to show everyone we can do the job. What gets me are the people I see standing around half the day chatting and not working. Look at all the time wasted. I am sure you are wonderful at your job. Companies do not want to lose valuable people. You can only do what you can do. It's not failure to accept limitations. Oh and everything Daff said!! That is way above my knowledge level.

Susan, I know exactly where you are. I felt like I was pushed onto this island alone with nothing but me to figure out how to get off and swim back to the land of the living. But how? It is hard. I had a wonderful neurosurgeon and he said to expect 100% recovery but he also said he did not know when and I would most likely suffer from headaches but that would subside. They come and go and come more when I am tired or the weather is changing. There is information out there about SAH and NASAH but it is statistical and I have noticed much is not from the U.S. Even the stroke sites (American Stroke Association and the National Stroke Association) do not have much information about SAH or NASAH. I did send my story to both and the National Stroke Assoc published it. It is up to us to get the word out that we are here and it is not easy!! My husband has been great but he is learning as I am. I pray everyday for strength and faith and that has pulled me through some of the hardest times. This site has been so wonderful learning that the weirdness that goes on in your head also goes on in others as well. I am almost six months and I do know at three months I just simply wanted to be well and that was not the case. I did find a new neurologist (I had my NASAH five hours from home) near my home and he has been wonderful. He told me to call whenever I needed to talk and that this team would be there for me. You need someone with a heart and that cares of you as a human being. It is hard to give yourself time but time is what we have, thank goodness. It does get better. iola

So very true Louise. I must admit the first two months were hell and the third was in and out of hell and now, well, it's getting better thank the Lord. Freckles, I do hope you continue on your road to recovery with little setback. We are all trudging forward. "I"

Hi Freckles, Wow, I cannot believe you are working already. I must be a big baby. I had mine in Apr, did not have surgery such as you, and I waited 5 months to return to work part-time. Please take your time and rest when you can. It's a long road but you are doing fantastic!! Sorry about your back. I had major back pain in the hospital but mine was the lower back. It stopped as soon as I got home. As for no information, I think we can all attest to that. No one is given any information when leaving the hospital. It's very scary not knowing. iola

I was not in a wheelchair but I did walk with a cane when I first got out of the hospital. I still feel like I am walking sideways some days. I would never make it on a balance beam!! "I"

I so understand. I forgot cookies in the oven and water on the stove. To look at me all seems well with the world. A sharp contrast as to what is going on inside. For better or for worse, or even somewhere in between, this changes all of us. Iola

Hi Susan, I suffered the same in April and was told I would have 100% recovery too. I am a little over 5 mos and slowly getting better. One thing I have learned is recovery is your own and takes time. Some good days and some not so good. I thought a magical day would come and all would be wonderful. Nope. Baby steps are good. I don't think the doctors know what to tell you so off you go on your own. I am still patiently waiting for this 100% recovery. All that emotional distress I can definitely associate with. I still get dizzy and cry at the drop of a hat. When I am tired my brain shuts down. But, it is slowly getting better. Iola

I am the youngest of seven with husbands, and nieces and nephews, and great nieces and nephews, and friends that all get together and talk loud at the same time. I used to be right in the thick of it. Not now, I just sit back and regress into my safe place and smile. "I"

Awesome, simply awesome!!! Heck, I fall over my feet all the time and it's been 5 months for me. You make me smile.

Hi all, I was almost afraid to read this thread. Afraid of the sane thing happening. Ugh. I had a great day Sunday so I went outside and cut down a bunch of bushes and collected all the cuttings and threw them in the woods, washed clothes, and made dinner, and then Monday came. Monday was terrible . I felt hungover all day with that annoying pressure headache with lots of random spikes if pain. Wonderful. I was in bed by 8:30. Today was better though. In bed now at 7:00 pm listening to my daughter read. I

I was told by my doctor when I asked why I had a non-aneurysmal SAH, he said it is most likely a weakened superficial artery that ruptured and obliterated itself and I was most likely born with it and it just took now to rupture. I was not doing anything but sitting. iola

I swear I do not know why they do the angiogram awake in some hospitals. I was fortunate I was asleep, but, do remember the dye during one of the three I had. I am told lumbar punctures are very painful. I am so sorry for you. But, you are alive four years later and have your family. Most important to be sure. It is difficult to let go sometimes since this is such a haunting experience. You are a survivor and that makes you a hero in your children's eyes, I am sure. Think positive, you are worth it. I

Hi Desy, I have my reports and really do not understand them anyway. My dr released me after 2 months, but, mine was different than yours. I do know that when my first scan was serious they shoved me in an ambulance and raced me to another hospital pronto!! So....... About your mother, I am sorry. I have a brother with mental illness and he did not visit me until I came home and then was more interested in talking about himself, but, that is how he is. He's not married and no children so he's had a lifetime of thinking about himself. But, to my surprise, he did help me upstairs and put a cover over me. So, they do care but can find it difficult to show it sometimes. Hope you are feeling better. iola

Hi, I went to my new neurologist and had the Wellness Test and EEG done. Came back and they are both great. I even scored superior in some areas of the Wellness Test. This is all wonderful news, but, it does beg the question....What the heck happened then!!! When I was in the hospital my sonograms they did on my brain every few hours showed normal blood flow, the scans and MRI did show the bleed and it was a Grade 1. My three angiograms showed my arteries were good and no malformations or weakness. So, what in the world happened? I am supposed to be healthy here!! Ugh. I told the doctor that even though tests and the physical outside of me says I am okay my brain has weirdness going on. He did say it will take a long time to heal and the weirdness should subside. I am blessed to be here, for sure. Ah, one of life's mysteries I guess. iola

This is good and I've never found it on-line. Believe me, I look everywhere I can. As wonderful as my hospital and surgeon were, I was given basically nothing when I left. I few pamphlets. There is one that was decent and explained all the different types of strokes. That one was good. But, nothing for, "what to expect after release". Thanks for the info. iola

Thank you to all, My boss really surprised me. He and another co-worker stayed with me until my husband arrived. My hubby had to drive 5 hours where I was so I am thankful. He was good while I was not working, but, someone once told me that once you are back at work you are back! And, for everyone else it is business as usual. He expects me to be well while he is complaining about his gouty foot. Urrrrr.... I have always kept him organized. I remembered everything cause he did not. Well, things have changed and frankly I do not care like I used to. I am the type that always had to please others. Did not want anyone disappointed in me. This was in my professional and private life. Once again, before my SAH what was on the outside did not mirror what was going on inside. Huh, I think I just had an epiphany! I'll end on that note. Iola

Hi, I have been working part-time from home for a month yesterday and I have been exhausted every day by 4:00. And when I am tired I am dizzy. It's like I am walking around the world sideways. I was shocked when I was talking to my boss the other day and he said he thought I would be further along by now since it was just a "little trauma". I know I wrote this somewhere else as well but it hurt so bad. He was there when mine happened. I was on travel for work. After I cried I let him know just how much it hurt. I get up every day at 7:00 am, take a shower, get my daughter up, and get her ready for school. I put my makeup on, do my hair, put my daughter on the bus, and then go back to my house and start working. I just do not know what more I can do? The doctor told me I would have 100% recovery, as well. Granted, I am blessed with the ability to do the things I do and I am only at the 5 month mark but.....Ugh. Sorry, venting. I am trying to do the best I can but I see I cannot stay as focused as I used to and I must take breaks in between to rest a bit. I keep forgetting meetings I am supposed to call in for and all I can do right now is apologize. People see the outside and have no idea what is going on inside. Lots going on. iola

Hi Desy, Happy to hear you are doing better. Wonderful news. So glad you are planning for the future. You are an inspiration. Good luck with your foot and hope whatever they decide is best will help ease the pain. iola

Hi Jillian, Wow, what a story. That is awful the hospital kept sending you home. Thank God you are here and able to tell your story. It helps to know you are not alone and the weirdness that comes along with all this is shared by all on here. Be kind to yourself. iola

Way to go. I've been back working part-time for a month and I am just exhausted in the evenings. Give yourself plenty of time to adjust and lay down and relax in te evenings. You deserve to rest. Iola