iola

Thanks Kate, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and may God Bless you and your loved ones. Iola

Wem, I do not want to go off on another subject but I do know exactly what you mean about needy friends. I have someone that has always been very needy and I've helped her greatly through the years. Felt sorry she was not at the same place in life I was, etc... After my SAH she not only embarrassed me in the hospital but also needed money to get back home!! I realized she did not come to see out of concern me she came to tell everyone she came to see me. After I was released, I never saw her and then got her feelings hurt when I did not want to talk to her on the phone and posted it all over facebook. So, what I learned and changed since my SAH is let go of "taking care" of needy people. The more you try to help the more they pull you into their misery and that is not good for recovery. I

No weird smells to report. My taste for certain foods have changed though. I

Hi, I am 8 months in and I am at the angry stage. Be sure, I know I am blessed to be alive and I feel my gifts in life given to me are my abilities to walk, talk, see, hear, and feel. I want to use them for good, just has not revealed what I should do yet. I am much more sensitive than I was before and I cry at the drop of a hat. But, I find myself frustrated and short tempered lately. I was always so self assured and confident. Happy and ready for a night out with the girls. Now, I'm ready for bed. I am having trouble accepting the changes in me. Maybe a year from now my answer may be different. But, push forward, I will. I

Oh, the weather affects me terrible. I was pretty good yesterday and then at night nasty weather moved in and the dizziness woke me up. I kept dreaming I was falling. Took most of the day to shake it. Good luck with the MRI. Win, bravo!! What an accomplishment. Smile. I am. I

This is such wonderful news. I'll keep praying....

I am so sorry Susan. I can relate to some extent though. I had cervical cancer and at 34 had a hysterectomy 3 months before my wedding. We adopted 5 years later. We waited 3 yrs for a birth mother to choose us. We decided to stay in the U.S. so it can take quite awhile. But, well worth the wait. She's mine all mine. I have a friend with an autistic child and we spend a week at the beach each year with them. Quite a challenge and its only one week for us! If it is any consolation you are in my prayers as all the BTGers are. I

Hi Kate, I have gone back to work part time. I definitely went back too soon at 4-5 months and started having terrible pressure/tension headaches and my dizziness was escalating too. I felt like I was regressing and that is when I went to see my neurosurgeon. It was a good meeting and confirmed these weirdo feelings in my head - the tension, short circuit pains, random pains, dizziness (which I dislike the most) were all normal. I wanted so much to be better by that point but when he told what was realistic (12-18 months to feel well) I actually settled down a bit. I was having anxiety attacks, which I'd never had before in my life, and was so scared of reoccurrence and never feeling well again, the meeting assured me healing takes a lot of time. I went shopping today and I've noticed when I am active I feel good. BUT, if I do to much I feel it when I finally sit down. I have pain in my neck that likes to shoot up through my left eye so I did more than I should of. Take your time to heal. I

Hi Chloe, I was told I could go back to work just 2 - 3 months after mine. There us no way that was gonna happen. First two months I felt like a vice was twisted around my head and the pressure was terrible. I cried constantly and I had constant vertigo. I wanted to do more and there were days I did and when I pushed too hard I got headaches and dizzier than normal. I still get these pop fizz feelings in my head when I'm tired. It all takes time. Skippy is right they do not know what is going on in your head and as long as you are walking and talking their job is done. You will get there. I

Hi Kate, The first three months were very hard for me. I do understand your fear. I am going on 8 months and still pray every day for healing. It's something we all go through after such a life changing event. The first three months, I cried constantly and felt my head was in a vice most of the time. I was so scared to do anything but I did and there were days I pushed myself too hard and paid for it too. It is true when people say you will have good and not so good days. You will feel like you are climbing to the top and then trip and fall right back down. It's very frustrating but you will get through. My doctor said 12-18 months to really feel good. Some people do better but for me it is realistic. Press on but not to hard. iola

Hi Susan, You've had a tough year. I do like reading your posts though. Always descriptive. It seems like it is always something as we get older. Gone are the carefree days of the biggest worry of wondering what to wear to go out with the girls. 13 years ago I dealt with cancer and then an SAH? I woulda never guessed. I am sorry about your doctor. I am terrified of flying right now. My boss wants me to fly to FL and that's only about 2 hrs for me and I will not do it yet. Heck, just driving thru the mountains made my head hurt! My neurosurgeon is in Philadelphia, PA if you are close and would like his name. He is fabulous. Iola

Hi, I actually had to look up RCVS as I did not understand. It is difficult to accept you have had any type of injury to the brain. I had a SAH in Apr and the site of my bleed was never found. It is difficult. I may look the same but I am not. No matter the injury we all deal with fear after the dust settles and we have time to think. Fear is fear and if you let it, it will be happy to control your world. I know because I let it for 5-6 months after the SAH. I am beginning my 8th month and I am finally coming to terms with so much and realizing that I must live to live. I hope that makes sense. The first three months after I came home I would not even buy myself a pair of shoes because I thought I was going to die. It takes time to ingest all you have gone through. You are not alone. Iola

You are so right, it is a long road to recovery. The source of mine was never found either. I did not have hydrocephalus though. I am sorry you did. I can tell you at 5 mos I was not feeling like I thought I would. Very distressing. I starting working part time between 4-5 months and it truly was too soon. I suffered from terrible headaches and vertigo because I pushed myself. If it will comfort you, make an appt to see your doctor. It's your body, your life, your peace of mind. iola

Bigblue, I hope you are feeling better. Good grief. A gland in your neck? I think we all want to get back in a routine but it is difficult when you do not feel well. Take your time and heal. I

Wow, I would say my faith in God, which blessed me with my family and led me to this site and everyone here. I'm not kidding, I am still healing (do we ever stop?) and without meeting everyone I would've been a mess. I am so thank you for the folks I've met and the courage and strength everyone has given me. Best gift ever! So, thank you lots! I

Good luck to you. You and your family are always in my prayers. I

Hi Chloe, You have had quite the adventure. I've been to St. Lucia and it is beautiful as long as you stay on the resort. I am not in my 20s but I am in my 40s and still consider myself relatively young. Maybe not to you since I remember being in my 20s and thinking 40 was so old. Anyway, I am sorry this happened to you at such a young age. Mine was a non-anuerysmal SAH and they never found the site of the bleed. Mine was right in the middle of my brain. Looked like a 5 point star. I was on that same meds you are. Keppra kept me pretty loopy and very emotional. The entire ordeal is very emotional. Since I was given minimal info I went perusing through the internet and found loads of info and some a little scary. Be careful not to focus on the negatives. You are young so may bounce back much quicker. Thank the Lord above you are here and take it easy and rest and drink plenty of water and pace yourself. iola

I would have to say I am trying to control my outbursts of anger. When I came home from the hospital I was so quiet and just let everything go. I have found within the last month I am angry. Angry I am still afraid, angry I cannot sleep, angry I still have spiking pains in my head and vertigo. My patience runs thin and I am trying to keep it in check. I

Hi Kate, I had a non aneurysmal SAH in April and it shook me to my very core. I was told I would have 100% recovery but it would take time. 12-18 months. Everyone is different and some folks are ready for anything after 3 months. All depends on you and the bleed. I was so worried about reoccurrence and still do at times when not feeling well. My dr was wonderful and told me this would probably never happen again. That is what I work with and press forward. How are you feeling? I hope you well and progressing. Iola

Hi Kate, I had mine in April (NASAH) and was on Nimodipine for 21 days too. I had to take one every two hours because my BP was so low. I do not remember headaches getting worse when I came off. I was also on Keppra at that point too. Everyone is right, drink plenty of water, don't bend over and pick up anything heavy, and rest a lot. Too much and your brain will let you know you have done more than it can tolerate. iola

I am so sorry you are in this kind of pain. I am in the U.S. so I believe it is a little different when I say to go see a specialist, such as a neurologist. If you are able please do. I cannot give medical advice but that might be best.

Hi Alison, You are nothing short of a miracle!! The stories I read are fascinating and the courage of everyone on this site is incredible. I had mine in April. I am seven months along. They never found the site of my bleed. I believe we all know the fear of "what if". It is a struggle. I remember all too well the pain, pressure, dizziness (I still get that) and headaches that are forever, it seems. Can't get comfortable and just cry. I still cry. I gave my testimonial at church a couple weeks ago and was so teary-eyed through most of it that I must've sounded like a blubbering idiot! But, the need to release your fears, anger, sadness, and pain are important. They need to go somewhere. Please be good to yourself and be patient. It's not a broken arm, it is your brain and it needs lots of time to heal. Others need to know and understand that as well. iola

Beautifully written. Give yourself a big hug. I can't wait until I can say 4 yrs. Wow! iola

Hi Lee, I, too, had a hysterectomy in my 30s. Thought I was done big and bad things and then this SAH happened. Mine was unexplained. Unknown etiology. If you google non-aneursymal SAH you will find a lot of info. But, as everything, I google too much and end up scaring myself. Prognosis very good though. I never suffered from anxiety but I have had a couple anxiety attacks since. One of the ladies on BTG really helped me by telling me, "they cannot hurt you". Simple and effective. Bagpuss is right, our brains are like a baby's brain right now. Needs lots of time to rest and overload comes quickly. I used to love to shop. Could shop all day. Now, when I go into a store I go into a fog and have a difficult time adjusting to everything and everyone. There are a few really good threads on BTG that will help you get through this. I went to see my neuro about a month ago and he gave me some really good advice, I just cannot remember which thread I put it under. If you click on my name you will see all I have written, not that all are so important, but that one may help. Most importantly, he said it would take 12-18 months to feel "normal" again. As normal as one can be after something like this. I so believe this to be true. iola

Hi, My work life has good and bad days. Today I am sitting here with a warm neck thing around my neck to help with the pain. I woke up dizzy, which I do not like. I can go days without the dizziness and then here is comes, like it missed me or something. I've noticed I do get the dizzies most of the time now when I am tired or when the weather is changing. Weird thing is, and I do not know if this happens to others, but, when I am doing something physical such has trimming bushed or raking the leaves I feel good. It's not until I sit down that I feel like it all settles on me like a ton of bricks. Maybe it's the endorphins kicking in. Don't know. iola