iola

Hi, I know with me the changes in weather systems really make my head hurt and hurt for days. This past winter was wet and snowy where I am and I went through two months of torture. Nothing helped and I had to go to work with that headache. Stress and lack of sleep play a big role as well. I couldn't wait for my two year MRI. I was so tired I almost fell asleep in the machine! All was clear and I am so blessed but at the same time you wonder what the heck! Will my head ever stop hurting? It goes in cycles for me. I am glad summer is coming and I pray for warm sunny days. I

Carolyn, I am so happy things went well. Praying for you and a speedy recovery. Iola

Hi, I just hit my two year mark and I still have head and neck pain. Mine was an NASAH as well but you are the first, I believe, I ever met that also had hydrocephalus too with a Non aneurysmal SAH.. Wow! I've read about it but never met anyone. You are truly a miracle! I was told to never take any kind of blood thinner so I only take Tylenol. I have learned the hard way that you will jump forward at some point and feel so much better and believe this must be it, the time has come, and I have crossed the bridge, and I will finally feel better forever now. Then, it rains for days or some funky weather system comes through and lays you out! You feel like you have just regressed six months. So, you pick up the pieces and start over. Frustrating. Then there will be days you wonder what you did to deserve this? At least I did. Ugh. You push through and hope for better days and they do come and they go and come again. I am blessed beyond measure but Teechur is right, it really is a roller coaster ride. I

Hi Alison, You poor dear thing, I know exactly where you are because I have been right in your shoes as other here have been as well. You sound like you had a non aneurysmal SAH. Mine was a grade 1 bleed from an unknown source. Never determined where the bleed originated and stopped on its own. I was told this type of bleed may be a venous type bleed that obliterates itself and most likely weakened and ruptured. Rare and hopefully will never happen again. Be kind to yourself. I felt dizzy for a very long time and headaches and stress did not help. Take it slow so your healing brain can heal give it time to figure out what the heck happened. Take care, Iola

Are you taking any meds for migraines like Topamax with adverse side affects? I have noticed since my bleed all sorts of weirdness with my body. You and I are close in age so who knows anymore. I wonder if stress could be causing it? Hard to say without seeing your doctor and knowing for sure. I swear before my bleed I hardly ever went to the doctor and now that seems to be all I do. I have a doctor to check every piece of me these days. I

Debbie, I've had three angiograms and they went in the same one every time. I ended up with a deep bruise they thought might be a blood clot. It was not, but kept close tabs by doing a sono and giving me those darn heprin shots in my stomach. Hated it. If you are the slightest bit worried ease your mind and go see your doctor for sure. Iola

Hi Debbie, I am on the east coast in Maryland. I understand your anxiety. Two years after my bleed I still suffer from anxiety. Honestly, my bleed was utter shock, which is part of my anxiety. Think of it this way, you have the upper hand and more control than most. I will pray for you and your speedy recovery. All will be well. Have faith. Iola

Hi, Just a quick update. Went to see the doctor today about the results and thank goodness the nodule is benign. They will have to keep close tabs on it but that was such good news. I have been praying so hard and honestly had to just give it to a God because my poor brain could not could not stand the stress of the worry. Thank you my friends for being ever supportive. Iola

Hi, Will you ever be the same again? How can you be? It's a tough question. I am almost two years and my dr told me to make no mistake this was a life changing event and to not measure myself on who I was before. I'm still trying to figure out who or what I'm supposed to measure myself against now! . You will have days of frustration and some of enlightenment and some sad and some angry. The whole gamet of emotions. You will feel like you have jumped forward and then fallen backward. You will find yourself inching along and realize you are not who you once were, but, maybe that's okay. Take care and be kind to you.

Hi Michelle, I am so happy you found the site and you are able to post. It is such a long and hard haul back to "whatever" feeling better is. I am at almost two years and still have some pretty bad headaches and dizziness. I am fully functional and work but a day or a week can really take it out of me at times. I am a hard charger so settling down is not easy for me but some times necessary. I some times feel like my brain is saying, "what the heck did you just do to me now!" Take it easy and be kind to you. Iola

You are in my prayers for a speedy recovery. I

Hi Carolyn, Wow, what to say? I will tell you I will pray for you daily and I know in the most difficult of times you will not be alone. I believe God has a plan and it is up to us to be patient. Trust is so important and if you trust your doctor then your decision is made. Please keep us updated as well all care so much. Iola

Do you ever feel like you just can't catch a break. To look at me you would never know I had cancer 15 years ago, a brain hemorrhage almost two years ago, and on a whim, because two of my sisters had thyroid cancer, had a sonogram on my thyroid and guess what, they found a nodule. Ugh! They have not biopsied it yet but the dr said it did not look cancerous but with my family history it is a concern. So, my mother and grandmother both passed away from hemorrhagic strokes so that seems hereditary and now this. I'm a praying girl so I am very thankful whatever this is has been caught early just like the bleed. I was in a very good place when the bleed happened. I feel blessed in so many ways but the idea of surgery and laying in a bed again makes me depressed. And the thought of putting my family, especially my daughter, through any kind of fear again is very distressing. I am jumping the gun a bit, but, good grief, I would like a break for a change! I

Hi, I am sorry. I know my neuro doctor gets annoyed with me but that is because I won't take the meds and he feels like there is nothing more if I won't listen to him. I told him I still wanted him around and for my yearly MRIs. I'll keep going but I honestly don't think he can help me anymore. I just go every three or four months and give him my update. I do like asking him questions that others cannot answer and discovered I have these "after stress" migraines, I never knew existed. I'm fine when working but can go down hard when relaxing. Go figure. Well, if you like her make an appt to see her again in person and explain things. Won't hurt. No pun intended. Iola

Hi Teechur, I am on your Facebook and read your post. It is so amazing how stories of all our "aftermaths" are so similar. Oh, you've had a brain bleed but in the big scheme of things you'll be fine now get out and live your life. You may have a few headaches but will be fine. What! Live my life? How? That's how I felt and I had a great surgeon and great care. Just no information. We need a book called something like, "What to expect while healing." You honestly do have to recreate yourself after such a life changing event. Congrats to you and I hope this year will be a year of hope and healing. Iola

Hi, My surgeon was wonderful but the literature provided was awful. I remember when they told me I had an SAH and of course I had never heard of and I asked what that was. I had no idea how life threatening this was. The doctors did make me aware I was critically ill but still could not grasp what they were telling me. When I was released I was told I would have headaches but should be fine and could go back to work in 4 months or so. .I could not drive for a about two or three months. Not until after my third angio and was off all meds. It was when I got home I started researching. I did it day and night. I felt very safe in the hospital but when I got home I was terrified for a long time. My emotions were a mess. After about six months I went back to see my surgeon and asked him very direct questions. I received more information because now I knew the questions to ask. He also told me to stop researching the internet because it would only scare me. Well, I still research. I believe time gives us the opportunity to formulate more educated and direct questions that are deserving of answers. I do have a neuro at home since my surgeon is 4 hours away. He is good but cannot understand why I believe my headaches are from the injury. Honestly, I don't understand why he does not understand. iola

Elizabeth, What needs to be learned is a bleed is a bleed and does not matter how it happened and what the proper medical term is. It is an attack on the brain. Clinically, the outcome is more promising for non aneurysmal but there are many here that have defied the odds. Rome was not built in a day and his head and your life will not automatically rewind back to before his bleed. Take it one day at a time and have faith. I

Well, I went skiing with my family over the weekend. I NEVER thought I'd ski again. I am not a crazy fast skier but I like to make my way down at the respectable speed. It's funny, I noticed while we were driving/climbing through the mountains my head started to hurt more and more. I thought maybe I was just tired from the three hour drive. Next day we put our girl in ski school (she hated it) and went skiing. The crisp cold air felt good and down the slope I went a number of times without hesitation and I felt great! Well, about three hours later an enormous headache and dizziness landed on my head and that was the end of fun. We went to dinner and I thought I was going to pass-out and then to bed I went. The next day we went tubing and I felt okay. Not great but I did deal with it. Ugh, then on the way home, HELLO HEADACHE! It was not until we got home that I noticed my head started feeling better. Then the next day I read that high altitudes can affect health conditions. Now, I do know this but for whatever reason, it did not dawn on me that was the reason. I wonder if I will have trouble flying? Anyone else sensitive to high altitudes? I

It is hard to accept when life changes. You look normal and everyone sees you as normal but NO ONE knows what is going on in your head and believe me there is so much going on it is hard to describe. I do not know your husband but it sounds like he is trying to work through the pain hoping it will resolve itself. He does not want to lose his knowledge and expertise and may be afraid if he stops or slows down he will. I did the same thing. I think many of us did. I am not a doctor but my job requires many hours and lots of stress. I had to stop and back down. I found that when I was/am physically active I did not feel the pain as much and I actually felt pretty "normal". Now, with that said, after awhile of doing and going the brain shuts down and must have rest and that is what happened and still happens to me at times. There is a wonderful book called "A Stroke of Insight" that I found very informative. It talks about working your brain while it is awake and how important it is to also rest your brain. This person that wrote the book is a neuroanatomist and understands the brain. Your husband is trying to get back to a place in his life that may be far reaching right now but that is okay. He will learn that fighting through the pain does not always work. iola

Hi Chris, My source of the bleed was never found either. I do believe there were angels watching you and here you are. I am glad you are moving around but take care not to overdo. I did in the beginning and your body can force you to slow down. Art is a great source of healing so it will be interesting to see what you sculpt in the future. Take care. I

MRI machine sizes vary. I could not do one that was very small bullet shaped. I panicked as soon as they moved me in the machine and had to get out. I found one at another hospital that was bigger and more open and called and asked if I could come in before and see the machine and just lay down in it to see if I could do it. The folks were very nice and let me and that MRI machine was bigger and I could easily see out and they also had head phones to listen to music. No problem in that one. Some doctors will also prescribe a relaxer of some sort to help. Check around if you can and ask if you can see the machine prior to your visit. It does help. I

Hi, Mine was non aneurysmal and I never lost consciousness. I walked into the ER. I had all my motor skills just this awful headache as though I'd been shot or hit in the head. I am not a Dr but my job is stressful and long hours. I will hit two years in April and it's been a long hard haul. I look perfectly fine but the healing process continues. I've read mountains of data from NIH, Neurology sites, and organizations. I finally came to the conclusion the answers we seek are truly not out there. Psychological effects are lingering and will take years to heal. Physically, you simply have to come to terms with what you can and cannot do. I am a worker and do not keep still but there are those days when my body says ENOUGH. My neuro said to me, "Make no mistake, you have had a life changing event and will never be the same person so do not compare yourself to who you were". No truer words... I

Hi, I think I just lost all I wrote. Ugh. Anyway, I have healed both emotionally and physically. I still have my down days and cry for nothing at times. I am still learning my limits and learning to say NO. Most importantly, I am stronger than I ever thought possible. I have also learned compassion. I am also learning to be comfortable with me and that is an emotional and physical process that is on-going. iola

Hi, I just had the chance to read your story. Mine was non aneurysmal as well. That was 18 months ago. I always like reading stories from folks that are as far from your injury as you. Congrats to you. I still have headaches and dizziness. Memory is not always great but I know people without a brain injury that seem worse than me! I

Hi, I think some kind of depression comes with the package. I was not depressed before mine but I can tell you I had a very stressed and busy life. I am a stress person. I do not like it but it is part of who I am. I did go back to work and still do but not without struggle. I struggle every day. I had cervical cancer in 2000, hysterectomy, and married all in the same year. Five years later we adopted our daughter. Then 2013 slam, a brain bleed. With all of the life changing events in my life nothing, and I mean nothing, prepared me for the SAH. Think about how yours happened. It does not sneak up on you, it just punches you right in the face! Fine one minute and then retching pain the next. World tilting, time ticking, doctors talking, papers in your face, meds you've never heard of, angiogram grams, sonograms, needles, nurses, strangers, and a brain trying to process and survive all at the same time. Then you are sent home, like a new babe in the woods, struggling with fear, pain, isolation, and questions. Of course depression sets in. I cried every day for months. But, I also got up every day, took a shower, put on my makeup, and tried to live. I have a 9 yr and she needed me to be well so I had to be. Did I feel well? No. But, you push and move. Am I still scared? Yes, I worry. After you go through something like this you realize you are not in control. It's such a shock and you feel it instantly. I have a deep trust and gratitude in God and that faith has helped me tremendously. You are here for a reason. Find out what that is. This site is here for a reason. I've had some hard down moments and the folks here have helped me get through the toughest of times. You are not alone. Please do not think you are. Depression can make you feel that you are. Know you are not and we care and understand. I