paris Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 my partner had an SAH 11wks ago. Physically hes doing brilliantly and his memory has not been affected either so hes been really lucky!! He came home from hospital 6wks ago and for the first couple of weeks he just slept which i was told to expect but about 3wks ago he started to get very depressed and emotional. Hes suffereing with anxiety and panic attacks which are keeping him awake at night,hes also told me hes having intrusive thoughts. His doctor has put him on antidepressants and valium and he is seeing a neuropsychologist. Is all this normal after an SAH as i am getting very worried and anxious about him. we are expecting a baby in 12wks, do u think the medication will be working by then. Also he has a fear of returning back to work but he doesnt know why,is all this normal can anybody give us some advice.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Hi Paris A very warm welcome to you....what is happening is all very normal....it is still very very early days for your partner. There is so much to cope with.....i have been through all those feelings and i am at 22 months down the line. It does get better. Just takes time and we are all different. Must be very very worrying and stressful for you too....please take care of yourself, expecting a baby any minute, bless you. Don't know if you have asked your GP for counselling....there is normally a waiting list.....but i have just had some and it really did help to talk to someone. Only a suggestion. Also when your partner feels up to it....he could become a member as well. There are lots of us here that understand what you are both going through. Look forward to hearing more from you. Take care Love Tina xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caz Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 hi paris and welcome, sorry to hear your news but everything tina says is correct. We all get anxious and worried at times as it has been a big event in our lives. I had coiling in march last yr and then clipping in May this yr. I am hopng to go back to work soon but it is is very frightening as you dont feel like your the same person anymore. lots of gentle support and hubby will get there. look after yourself too both of you can make the most of this time and have a little nap in the afternoon as you wont get it when baby comes along lol. a new life in your lives will probably be a great healer and something to focus on for hubby, so tryand relax and look forward to the wonderful time ahead of you both love caz x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Hi Paris, Welcome to BTG. My husband Jim suffered a SAH in December 2007. All the symptoms that your partner is going through Jim also did. It is very early in recovery. Depression was one of the main issues Jim had. I believe (not going through it myself but always being there for him) that it is a very tramatic time in their lives. Jim would cry all the time which he never did before. It is almost 2 years since his SAH. He is doing very well. Still tires very easily and needs to rest each day. Take each day at a time and remember things do get better. Congratulations on your pregancy. If you have any questions feel free to ask. Take care, Cal XXXX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Hi Paris Welcome sorry to hear about your partner but as the others have said the anxiety/depression is really hard in the first few months. I think quite a few of us have experienced fear not just of returning to work but also of going out on our own as well. Sending best wishes for the birth of your child and please let us know how you're all getting on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Hi Paris and welcome! Congratulations on the imminent arrival of your baby! Please make sure that you look after yourself and try not to get yourself too stressed or anxious, as you have your own health to also think about and that of the baby .... Hopefully, we can help put your mind at ease a little..... Many of us on behind the gray have experienced anxiety, depression, fear, panic attacks and all kinds of emotional outbursts swinging from laughter, tears and frustration, especially in the early months of recovery..... I certainly did.... The complete and utter shock of experiencing a SAH/stroke, is something that takes a while to come to terms with, for both the sufferer and their partner/family. Life can feel very strange and topsy turvy for quite some while. When your body lets you down in such a horrendous way, you can't but help think, "is this going to happen again?" .... and it's a long process in regaining that confidence in yourself, that nothing is going to happen again .... time is a great healer and this process doesn't happen overnight. Whilst I remember, I would definetly recommend your husband reading Alison Wertheimer's book - A Dented Image .... Alison herself, suffered a SAH and has written a v.good book and knows what questions to ask, as she's been through it herself .... Some of us from BTG also appear in it and it's pretty good therapy in itself, just to read it, as it normalises what you're going through and you realise that it's just not you, with feelings of inadequacy .... but part and parcel of the trauma, brain injury and coming to terms with life post SAH. You can probably see from this site, that we have a lot more female members, than male ..... I think that as females, we're able to "talk" a bit more and by talking, it does help to receive the support from others that have walked the same path and can share their own recovery experience ...... and mostly, most of the common worries and recovery problems are pretty much the same for all of us. When I was put on anti-depressants, the Doc told me that it would be about 6 weeks before they kicked in and at 3 months, I would definetly notice the difference .... If you're unsure about the meds as in time limit, then have a chat with your husband's GP for some reassurance, as they should be able to tell you. All of what your husband is experiencing, sounds pretty normal in terms of SAH recovery and the fear of returning to work and what he can cope with. However, he does need to be completely honest with his GP and if he's not able to return to work, then I would imagine that the GP will sign him off for longer .... which is what normally happens.... I don't think that we have many members here, that have returned to work before 6 months. Hope that this helps in some way, but please do look after yourself as well ..... life really does get better. Keep talking to your husband and to us ..... Wishing you the very best....xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Hi Paris Warm welcome to the site, not much more I can add really..... But look after yourself as its stressful enough time...... hope to hear more from you take care Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rod123 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Hi paris I to am a carer and i found it all very alarming at times when my wife first came home, all what you mentioned applied to my wife as well, and 7 months down the line she still has mobility problems memory on the poor side,fatigue, sleepless nights,poor appetite and a whole host of other little things, on the whole your husband sounds as though he's doing very well, this will be worring times for you, when i first came to this site some members told me that it does get easier and it really does so be strong, as for me nothing happens quickly, but it does get better, Good luck Rod Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paris Posted October 7, 2009 Author Share Posted October 7, 2009 thank you to everyone your advice has been very helpful,at least now we know that his feelings are normal we can get on day by day,like you all say its a slow process. can anyone tell us when we should expect a follow up angio? the reason for me asking is because when he had the coils put in at first the surgeon wasnt happy with the result so a wk later he had a stent put in too,but when he had an angio they still were'nt happy with it so they put in more coils. the problem is that he never had another angio after that and im a little anxious that it might not have worked again. i understand that they wouldnt have discharged him if they were'nt happy but the niggling is still there. Its been 7 wks since his last lot of coiling when should we expect a follow up,i would appreciate any advice. Also since having the SAH he complains of feeling cold all the time but he never did before,did anyone else have this problem? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna79 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Welcome Paris x x Your partner is very lucky to have you supporting him x x welcome to the family x x I have hots sweats now x x but everyones recovery is different x x love donna xxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rod123 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Hi again Merrill my wife is now 6 1/2 months on and she has her follow up angio on the 23rd of this month so that might give you an idea, also Merrill always feel very cold to touch but always complains of feeling hot when i discussed this the doc said the sah had messed up her body thermometer and it would right it's self as time goes by (there's a song in there somewhere) so i would mention it to your doc but i don't think it's any thing to worry about, I've also heard of other people with weird body heat probs. Hope that helps you a bit, Best wishes Rod Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Hi Paris, As to follow up procedures angio's/scans, this seems to vary quite widely with location and can often depend on what hospital somebody was treated at and their individual situation, so would advise that you contact the hospital, where you're husband was treated or get in contact with your GP and ask him or her to find out for you... I wouldn't imagine that a hospital would have discharged your husband, if his coiling hadn't been satisfactory and he was at risk ..... but your worry is understandable and you really need to ask the medics at the hospital the question that you've asked us, as it's something, that they can only answer... Put your mind at ease and give them a call ......xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennissmithy Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Hi Paris Welome to BTG- you are in a fab place where you will get the most fab advice and support xx Congratulations on your imminent arrival of your baby- how exciting but I must say it must be pretty stressful and tiring for you. Keep talking to your hubby about how you both feel and things will be fine. Recovery is longer and slower for some and an awful lot of patience is required. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myratas Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Hi Paris and welcome to BTG I can really say what the others have already said, recovery is slow and different for everyone and I am sure with your love and support you both will get through this. Just come here if you need to chat or need advice there is always someone who can help. Take care of yourself too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vivien Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Hello Paris and Welcome to BTG I can only echo what the others have said Vivien x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Hi Paris, Congrats to you both on the impending arrival, and welcome to BTG, a good place to hand out and seek advice on all things SAH related. Ditto to all that's been said....my SAH was about 6 weeks ago and I'm only just getting used to it now. The depression/anxiety thing has hit me recently too. At first I just rationalised my fears, gritted my teeth and tried to wade through it. Then I went and spoke to my GP, who confirmed pretty well everything that has already been said about the recovery taking time, being different for each person and the depression/anxiety being linked to the trauma of having the SAH. I am now armed with both anti-depressants (which I understand will take effect in a couple of weeks time) and sleeping tabs, which should at least give me some relief from the sleepless nights and the anxiety that goes with them. The anti-depressant I've been prescribed is supposed to have an anxiety combating benefit too. Like your partner, I too seem to be doing well physically, and it's easy to slip into thinking things are "as they were before". I'm learning that they're not, but that's not the end of the world either. Having joined the BTG community I am starting to believe that things will get better, and I look forward to it. What he's experiencing is a temporary thing, but that said, there's no need for him to endure it without medical help. Wishing you all the best, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 I have a 2/3 degree difference between one side of my body and the other - so on the one hand & hot and the other not Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paris Posted October 8, 2009 Author Share Posted October 8, 2009 hi celia,what is name of anti-depressants and are they working? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellieone Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 hi paris and welcome! i'm new here too, it is the best place to talk and share info with others that understand. i had my sah/stroke 6mnths ago was in hospital 3 and been home 3. anxiety/panic has hit me hard for the last mnth or so. i was already on anti-depressants i'm now on beta blockers to help also. my gp has just referred me to see a phychotherapist because anxiety is starting to take over. i think it's just part and parcel of whats happened unfortunantly, i battled to recover physically and i'm doing really well now the mental/emotional battle has started and i'm determined to beat this as well but it's very hard at the moment. i have 3 children 11, 4 and 8mnths, my baby was only 6wks old when mine happened, but their what got me through, they keep me fighting. i think it's a long hard road with many ups and downs but things resolve and get better in time. love, friendship, family and friends are what you both need, you need to look after you with the baby coming because thats a whole new emotional time for you both. take care, keep posting you'l find most of what your looking for on here. stay strong!! xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paris Posted October 9, 2009 Author Share Posted October 9, 2009 Just want to say thankyou to everyone for your advice it has been a big help,i dont know if this is the same for everyone but we're finding that we've got more questions every day,theres always another worry. Last night my partner was complaining of a stiff and sore neck and after reading that that is one of the symptoms of a SAH straight away we thought its happening again and we panicked!! The doctors confirmed that hes got an ear infection after all that! I know we're going to have all these worries until we start to get used to things but all sorts go through your head,at one point i wondered if he had an infection from the shunt,the worries just go on and on. He sees his consultant next wk so hopefully he can answer alot of our questions. We've been told that anneurysms can be passed down to your children but thats something we will need to discuss with the consultant but that adds to the worry also doesnt it. Anyway 1 day at a time, Thankyou again for your advice,x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rod123 Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Hi Paris, yeh the worries do go on and on and in time i thinkyou will realise that some of them are warranted and some of them are not, that is how i find it still i have worries from day to day but they become part of your life and although the worries are there the stress of the worry either goes or gets easier to live with but either way it does get easier. As for passing it on to your children how i understand it is that two close relatives would indicate a conection but if your mother your father,brother or sister had an sah it does'nt follow that you will have one,Don't know if i have explained that well but i think you will probabley get the drift anyway Good luck Rod Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Paris, Hi, I've been given CITALOPRAM, but it's too early for me to say whether it's effective. My GP reckons it'll kick in around week 2. Here's hoping! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Yep! everyday there's something different 'new' to worry about but as time goes on and you get used to it, it becomes easier to cope with honestly.....things like ear/throat infections make it all worse I think.... take care Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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