Embarrasing Loss of Memory

[ninja]

Hi All

Can anybody help. I am four years down the line and my memory loss is getting worse. Only today I met an ex work colleague with his wife in a supermarket, he shook my hand and said " Hey John how's it going ". I knew him well and talked for quite awhile but I couldn't remember his name and fortunately names didn't come up. Whilst I am typing this I still cannot remember his name. This happens quite frequently as I'll quite often ask my wife " Whose that you were speaking to " and it will be somebody I should know well.

I know the easy answer is to ask the person concerned their name but it isn't that easy when you have worked with them for years.

Any suggestions?

Cheers

John:oops:

[Karen]

Hi John,

I know how you feel and have had more than a few embarrassing moments with names!

The only way that I remember the "blanks" is to use picture or image association with the name, if that makes any sense ....mind you, that doesn't help when you haven't seen someone for a few months or years and you're caught out at short notice. Sometimes, you just have to apologise and ask them.

For example - I had a real problem with remembering someone called Shelley ... and I had to ask them their name ... they were absolutely fine about it and didn't mind. I now associate their name with seashells on the beach and the picture comes into my head before their proper name does ....

I haven't got any easy answers, but if you feel that your memory loss is getting worse, then would advise that you see your GP about it.

Hope that you're keeping well John. xx

[Lin-lin]

Hi

I totally understand what you're going through. I'm presently experiencing the same and it frustrates me immensely.

I'm finding recalling names difficult, even if I know them well. It's spontaneous events that test me the most.

Since I'm still at the stage where I avoid people (!) maybe I'm not the best person to advise!! But I find in some situations that admitting a difficulty is easier.

A lot of people are aware of what's happened to me and so I don't think it would be a massive shock to anyone that my memory may not be as sharp.

Maybe we simply need to be more assertive about the situation instead of embarrassed. When we don't remember a name, we are not being rude or dismissive about the person; it's just that our brains have been through a lot and some little skills have been disrupted.

Maybe this is something that we just have to live with. I don't know whether it's possible to improve our memories, but changing our attitude to its loss may be a help.

I'm teaching myself to be proud of what I've retained. I know I'm not the same as before, but I don't strive to be either. The 'old me' had an easier life than the 'new me,' and so it's unfair to draw comparisons.

Lynne

[Louise]

Hi there

Yep been there, image association is a good way.

But I now find honesty is the best policy, yeh I know its embarrising but through the years I do find it the best thing.

Lin, I avoided people which is great at the time, but then found that they now avoid me, not such a good idea as I thought.

Which is why 'honesty is the best policy'

[johntaras]

Hi John,

Louise agree totally, I have similar problems John but not just with names. I can tell you what happened years ago but ask me what happened last week and its a blank page. I try and think of one fact and then build the picture. It does not worry me at the moment I laugh because I could have been left a lot worse off.

I appreciate that it would frustrate you, if you have known the person for a while they should be able to understand and help you with a prompt. People say association can help, try and think of a clue that you may be able to remember that prompts you with the name. If you are really concerned see your GP who may be able to refer you for help.

Take care.

[Ern]

Hello.

I have a terrible memory now (4 years down the line).

I have managed to surround myself with people who tend to help me out.

As well as names of people I know quite well, I tend to forget the routes to places I have been to lots of times. This gets me frustrated and then my memory gets worse.

Once I notice my memory is playing up, I take a step back and think things through using mind maps.

[Vivien]

Hello John,

It is three and a half years since my SAH and my memory is still terrible, I do consider going to my GP about it now and again, but then forget! In fact last week I spoke on the phone in the moring to a friend who was collecting something from my daughters flat and promptly forgot to tell my daughter, so the two of us were sitting at mine watching tv while my friend was banging on her door. I felt really bad about that one.

I also forget routes to places I have been loads of time before, I have trouble remembering what I did last week and names. Mostly I admit that I have forgotten and ask for help but it sometimes upsets me. I reckon some of it is that I am now doing more so have more to try and remember

I also step back and think things through which sometimes helps

Vivien

[Gill C]

My memory for faces is bad if they are relatively new to me.A woman I didn't recognise spoke to me & asked how Nathan was at school the other week & I had no idea who she was. I asked if i knew her & she was the mum of the girl from Nathan's pre-school who goes to the same school. I had only met her twice but was totally mortified! I explained about the op & lcukily she is a nurse at my hospital so unerstood completely. I usually forget words too & spend ages thinking of it, the other day it was the name of a 4 sided shape that isn't a square or rectangle & the word was paralellagram but it took me days to to think of it!

I do wonder if any of the brain training games would help me with this or not?

Edited October 13, 2010 by bagpuss

[Liz D]

Hi John

I have the same problem but I tell people straight away that I have a difficulty in remembering names. When I started working in the office I am in now I explained this to them. but they saw me in action lol! We have a lot psychologists coming and going. There are about 12 that work a few hours each week from here. It has taken me 3 months to get their names, sort of right. But I also have problems if I meet someone outwith where I would normally see them. I met one of my work colleagues (I work with her everyday) two weeks ago in the supermarket and couldn't remember her name. Again I had warned them that this could happen. I introduced my husband to her and then blank! She laughed and said she could see the panic on my face!

I spoke to my consultant about this when I saw him in July. He said it's connected to the concentration part. He said I'm not concentrating fully at their face and the name both at the same time, and also because I know I have this problem there's an element of anxiety too. Sorry I'm not explaining this well but it made sense to me when he talked about it! I can't do the association thing either, too much information to try and hold on to! So I just have to keep apologising to people and tell them that I've forgotten their name!

[Angela]

I certainly understand how you feel,and i also feel embarassed when anybody says to me about something that i haven't remembered

I work in a hospital and answering the phone is something we have to do and to take messages from different departments and when i returned back to work after my sah/s, i was in dread of answering the phone to take a message

I learned fast to always have a piece of paper and pen at the ready when i answerd the phone, on a few occasions before that i forgot what was passed on to me

The memory thing is still a bit of a problem for me but the way i look at it now is its who i am now, the way i am now and its a small price to pay considering whats happened to me

take care

[JayKay]

Oh I totally understand what you mean! But I'm not shy about telling people that I've had an SAH to explain why. I keep meaning to join Headway where you get a card that you can thrust at people when in need, that says that you've had a head trauma. I think it might be easier? I don't know....

Anyway, don't worry too much. And I bet if you tell people they'll go "oh it happens to me all the time", which is annoying because we all know that having an SAH is different, but if it helps people understand in their own way, then that's got to be helpful, right?

[Louise]

I didnt join Headway I just got intouch with them and asked them to send me a card, dont use it that often but if the need arises then I do.....

Contact them through their website, they're very good.

[JayKay]

I didnt join Headway I just got intouch with them and asked them to send me a card, dont use it that often but if the need arises then I do.....

Contact them through their website, they're very good.

Oh that sounds good!! Thank you

[sonia]

They are saying taking vitamin B12 is good for the memory, either in a tablet from, or even so they say in a injection from your Doctor. Some GP it takes awhile for them to cotton on about some of the new ideas and reports. Said on the radio the other day walking 6 miles a day is also good for peoples memories. Maybe that distance is taking things abit far.

Take care Love Sonia x

[Tina60]

I returned to work this week, 11 weeks after my SAH. I thought I had got away with no side effects, but I think my memory has been affected. I keep forgetting what I have been asked to do, so have had to start writing everything down which does help. Really annoying and fustrating though

Does anyone know if this memory problem will get better?

[Louise]

Welcome Jen.

Tina60, well done getting back to work so quickly, really your still very early in recover for going back.....

Sonia, my Dad had a problem with his mind & he was told B12 was good he wouldnt have the injections tho. Nuts are good for the memory but I cant eat them.....

[ninja]

Hi

Thanks all nice to know I'm not on my own. I'm going to see GP next week and will ask about vitamin B12 (better write that down !!!!)

Bye for now

John

[ninja]

Hi All

Thanks for all your replies. I have been to see my GP who as I expected told me that loss of memory is common with brain problems. He has asked me to try Ginko from health food suppliers so am going to give it a try.

Cheers

John

[ninja]

Hi

Sorry I meant Gingko Biloba I think

John

[KelBel]

Tina60 - hi, I also went back to work 12 weeks after my SAH, and 11 weeks after my coiling - and my memory was quite bad initially, but has vastly improved now. I use my phone calendar to remind me of things, and always use a notebook at work anyway (even before SAH) to note down all queries etc... it does get easier though

Kel x

[Skippy]

Hi John

When I first had my SAH my hubby used to put a couple of drops of Ginkgo in my juice in the morning (at first without me knowing) and he said onthe days that he did I was definitely more "with it". Apparently "they" are seeing if Ginko Biloba has links to helping Alzheimer sufferers, so it is good for memory. But it also contains a natural blood thinner, though only a small amount, so if you've warned not to take thinners then this might be another question for your GP.

On a lighter note, the Ginko certainly helped me and although I don't take it anymore I have been thinking of taking it again as my job needs my head to be clear and on some days it does feel fuzzy . Let me know how you get on with it.

[jules75]

Hi John,gosh it must be frustrating,I'm fortunate that my short term as well as long hasn't been effected, the only thing that I slip up on is when I ask Mum what she's planning for tea then I'll ask the same thing later and I know as soon as I've opened my gob I've already asked her. She laughs and I say "I've asked you that already".I've always been rubbish with people's names but tell me a dog's name and I'll always remember,I used to/still do train dogs for the sport of flyball. In fact I have a better memory than my James.he's rubbish as are a few others I know. I sippose I'm saying don't be too hard on yourself you have a good excuse many others don't . I think it's inbred in humans to begin with so having this to deal with makes it so much harder anyway...lol. I have a few friend's from my stroke group who suffer major forgetfulness like running a bath, forgetting they've done it and flooding the bathroom,going out and forgetting to lock the door.They also suffer the same with not recognising people or more so forgetting their names. Don't worry too much about it,just learn to deal with it,don't get frustrated with yourself cause it'll just make you feel worse.You'll be doing something one day and the name will just pop into your head.

[KelBel]

Jules - I done the bath thing and flooded my bathroom back in March this year, just before I went back to work! Luckily had lots of clean dry towels on my towel rail to chuck on the floor to mop it all up, and am in a flat but no-one below my bathroom thank goodness!...

[sallym25]

Hi '

flooded the bathroom last week, again. Am just realising that things are "different" now, but "different" doesn't always mean worse! Time can make us understand that sometimes change is for the better.

sally x

[KelBel]

Sally - I wonder if there is a gadget that can be hung over the bath, that will sound an alarm once the water level gets to a certain point?... to remind us that we are running a bath and need to turn the taps off?!