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How do you mark your aney-versary?


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Hi all

As the great day approaches (first anniversary of my SAH in about 5 weeks), I am wondering if, and if so how, to mark it.

I have been enormously lucky - my physical recovery has been phenomenal and I have little or no after-effects. Emotionally it's been harder and I am still dealing with various aspects. So I am wondering whether to take time out and mark the day or whether to go to work and treat it like any other day. (Most people at work don't know what happened to me - I was on maternity leave at the time - and those who do have forgotten).

So i'd love to know how you mark your anniversaries. Do you do something? How do you feel on the day? I know that we all go through emotional rollercoasters but I'm wondering how it impacts you. Appreciate anyone who wants to share

x

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Hi! I think many people here mark the occasion in some way, either with a special meal or celebration with friends and family and some even get presents! : )

My first year anniversary is november 10th. We are going to Mexico for 2 weeks but don't leave until november 11th. I was at work in a meeting when my head exploded. I had planned to take the 1 year anniversary date off but in the last little while decided I'm going to work. I want to 'fix' that date! So my way of marking it is by going into work and then heading to sunny Mexico for 2 weeks the following day! I think I will always mark the date somehow, if I didn't have a trip planned we do something on the date to celebrate the effort over the past year.

Whatever you decide, I hope you have a great day!!

Sandi K.

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Thanks Sandi - that's such a great idea

I get what you're saying about "fixing the date". There's a part of me that thinks that by marking it - I'll be giving it more significance and I'll always be in thrall to it - rather than moving on... and yet, because I've had some panic attacks recently, I don't want to go in to work and then start to freak out on the day!! ;) maybe I should stop giving it so much thought ....:lol:

Mexico sounds gorgeous - hope you have a fabulous time xx

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Hi Kate,

I went for a meal with the friends who had helped me so much when it happened - those who did practical things to help & those who were there just to keep me going. It was a lovely night with lots of laughs.

Whatever you chose to do (or not do) enjoy the day - that 1st year mark is a huge milestone & congratulations on getting there & the great recovery you have had so far :-D

Michelle x

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I didn't do anything on the date as I was hoping hubby would suggest going out for a meal or something. I should have known better as he didn't suggest anything.The date for him doesn't have the same meaning but I was sadly disappointed it was a ordinary day yet 12 months previosuly an amazing man had saved my life & I too have few physical effects apart from my double vision!!

I am def going to make sure next year we do something just so I can feel at peace with the date. I don't worry about it happening again but it would be fitting to remember how far I've come

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Hi Kate,

I have my 2nd Anniversary coming up this week and will probably be at work. The day is this Monday but the date will be the later in the week. I am still in awe at the fact that I survived the event and seem to have escaped so lightly physically and mentally when I read some of the blogs.

Physically I remember every day, I have two burr holes in my head which I feel every day and the shunt tube running behind my right ear. These make me feel very lucky to be where I am now. I want to remember the day and it will be a special day for me whatever I am doing.

I agree with you that you do not want to be in a position where you fear the day or it has a hold on you. But it is such a monumental day and should be acknowledged in some way. Whatever you do spend it with people who mean a lot to you if possible.

Hope it is a good one and here's to many more in the future! :wink:

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Hi Kate,

Yes, I celebrated my first anniversary, on the actual date of SAH the three of us had a nice meal (I was home alone when I had my SAH) then on the year anniversary of the date I was 'fixed' I had a BBQ with close family and friends. It was something I wanted to do, celebrate with my nearest and dearest who got me through those darkest times.

Every year we have three 'anniversaries', our wedding, hubs transplant (that's nearly 5yrs) and now my SAH.

Congratulations that you're nearly at your anniversary, and John, best wishes to you too with yours coming up soon too.

Do something that makes you laugh every single day.

Take care,

SarahLou Xx

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Hi Kate

I have or should I say Morris has always treated it as a second birthday as he says he is just so lucky to still have me. I do work on the day but we always try to have a special meal out my fifth Annie-versary is coming up on the 11th of this month.

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Hey there

We do the same as Jan and Morris - we treat it as my second birthday - my hubby Paul and Morris are really close and so are Jan and I, so we kind of celebrate in the same way. Making it special makes it less daunting. Its a celebration of being alive - pretty much like a birthday. Don't be afraid of it and don't worry that it'll happen again on that day - if ever - cos the odds can't even be calculated. Celebrate, enjoy and be happy xxxx

Edited by Skippy
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Hi Kate

I was due to have a follow up angio on my first anniversary, so everything was a bit fraught for me. It's was the 14 February, the day after my birthday. We were going out for a family meal when I collapsed in the street just outside of the restaurant.

I was so nervous about thinking about the angio that I didn't feel like celebrating. It was also going to be my 50th birthday and my brothers and sisters wanted to have a party for me, but I couldn't have coped with that. We had a quiet family meal on the 13th with my husband and children. They said I was very quiet and mostly sat listening. But on the 14th we spent the day at the coast, I couldn't stay at home. I seem to have this need to feel safe and want to get away.

My 2nd anniversary we spent the day in Kendal. It was much easier, no angiogram to think about! It was a lovely peaceful day. I have trouble separating it from my birthday and all the fuss that surrounds Valentines day! But I've been told that because I only face this once a year that it will take me some time to be able to separate it. I would love to be able to treat it as just another day. I also think it's really nice that some celebrate the day, that's such a positive thing to do.

Whatever you decide to do, have nice day and congratulations!

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Hi

I'm coming up to my 4th anni-versary. It falls just after my birthday. I think the longer it is since the day it ruptured, it feels stranger celebrating surviving it with family and friends. However for me it's a very special day and one on which I feel both a bit nervous and also particularly grateful to be alive. Around the time of my anni-versary I buy myself a piece of jewellery (not expensive). Last year I got a silver ring and have worn it nearly every day since and the year before it was a pair of earrings. Every time I wear a piece of my "surviving the anni" jewellery, it always reminds me to make the most of that day. I'm hoping to end up with a big box of the stuff!

Love

Anne x

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Hi everyone,

As you know I make jewellery so since my SAH anniversary I made a necklace where you can add some beads, I now have 3 semi precious stones beads and each year I will add another semi precious stone, to me life is precious and I feel very close to the necklace, the SAH changed my life and each stone added each year is another reflection of the achievments I have made.

I never told anyone about the necklace and it's my very own thing that I like to do, I only wear it when I am down and on each anniversary including the second coiling I had done, I survived that too.

Apart from that I only keep thoughts about my SAH to myself, I don't like talking about it to my family that much, I feel it's my little moment, probably sounds weird I know!

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This is a timely one for me. My 2nd anni-versary is on the 21st November.

I'm not a sentimental person, which I describe as a fault really. I am very non emotional about birthdays, Valentines and Christmas for example, but I wonder whether it is because I see such events in consumer terms which I dislike. I don't like the pressure there is on everyone to 'spend, spend, spend.'

But I should see my anni-versary differently and Myra's post struck a chord and gave me an idea, (thanks Myra!)

Maybe I should reserve the 21st November as an opportunity to do a good deed. The one that's in my mind at the moment is to clear my wardrobe and take some stuff to the local homeless shelter. Maybe I should do something 'good' every 21st November... Mmmm .. I quite like this idea!

Lynne xx

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There are some nice suggestions/ideas on this thread on how you all deal with your anniversaries:-D

I have just re-read the thread as it is my 3rd anniversary today and I don't seem to be doing much at all - I am trying to get on with some boring housework, but my mind will insist on going back to that awful day despite my best efforts for it not too. I would have thought my memories of it would have faded over this time, but seeing various vivid images in my mind today has made me think otherwise. I don't recall anniversaries 1&2 being like this. Maybe I should have arranged this day a bit better and done something more to occupy myself - like shopping:-D. I never underestimate how lucky I have been in my recovery and really ought to concentrate on this aspect - for today at least.

Wishing everyone all the best, especially if you have an anniversary date approaching and are feeling apprehensive.

Sarah

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Ahh Sarah, it's not too late in the day to do something. Even if it's popping out somewhere for a coffee and piece of cake.

Try to find something special to do to mark your day.

You can't stop your mind returning to memories.

Remember...

"The wounds I have can heal and although the scars, whether they are visible or hidden, will always be there, they give me protection from further damage and remind me that I have healed."

I'm sending you big hugs.

SL Xx

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Hi Sandi, the shops will still be open, but I think my low energy levels today and the fact that there is thick fog to drive through to get to any decent shops, has made me think it would be more enjoyable if I went when these two conditions have lifted;-) Thanks anyway - in the meantime I'm off for a snooze - perhaps not the best way to mark your anniversary, but I should feel better afterwards:-D

Take care,

Sarah

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Hi Sarah

Congratulations on reaching your 3rd anniversary. I'm with the others, it's not too late to do something. Why not make a phone call and meet a friend for coffee or even do something nice this evening. It's those vivid memories, that we keep under wraps for most of the time, that pop up and it is hard to get rid of them. I hope you manage to have a nice day.

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