Bev897056 Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Hi guys As much as I try and forget I cant I keep remembering lying in that hospital bed tears rolling down my face the humming of the mri the stress of the angigram the constant blood pressure check ups andight shining in my eyes. Though the night the look on my families face not knowing whats next the fear I felt thinking this is it im not well ill not seemy son grow up.......i cant shake it aas much as I try I should be moving on but my symptoms persist dizzy feelings of life being unreal tingling in hands ....just when I think im ok another day of hell follows.....im sorry for moaning but. I hope someone will underdtanxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryB Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Bev, I am so sorry to hear you are having flashbacks. You have gone through such a traumatic experience so young. Being a young mother is such a worry anyway. Please know you are in my thoughts. I understand. Everytime the sun shines in my eyes I get pains in my head & it reminds me of those early days. xoxoxmb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Do not think of this as moaning. If you cannot share what you go through with your friends here who can you share with. I am fortunate I havent had any flashbacks other than the lumbar punctures. I can look at images of almost anything online but images of that bring tears to my eyes, makes me wince and raises my blood pressure. Anytime someone goes through trauma there is a chance they may be subject to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is a normal reaction to something that changes our lives so dramatically. It wouldnt hurt to discuss this with a GP and see if you can talk to a therapist or other professional. It is so very hard to move on when we keep reading the same page over and over again. I know I am not quite ready to move on yet, although I do look to the future with great hope. You are with friends in here and we will always be here to support you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stephanie Rubeck Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Bev, Sorry about the flashbacks. I'm sure it will get better over time. Small comfort I know. I have no memories of anything leading up to my SAH or for the month after. Sometimes I wish I could remember, but then other times, I'm glad I don't remember because I'm not sure the flashbacks would be something I could deal with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnS Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Hi Bev, I haven't has flashbacks as I can't really remember much at all, certainly not after we got to A&E. I did however, used to get tingling sensations in my arms that would extend from my armpits to my hands. It was really uncomfortable, woule keep me awake at night and was rather disconcerting - I hadn't suffered any limb weakness from the sah and I was concerned that the tingling might mean that limb weakness was on it's way! It didn't matter how I sat on the sofa or lay in bed, I couldn't get the numb tingly feeling to stop (so it seemed that it wasn't circulatory). It sounds strange for something that bothered me so much but I didn't actually notice when it stopped! The weird symptoms sometimes seem like they are never going to end and maybe I've just been very lucky, but they settle down eventually. I hope the same goes for you and wish you all the best! Dawn x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffodil Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Hi Bev. Hope today is a better day. I can't remember the first days post SAH which is fortunate but I do get anxiety on my hellish days or when the pain or symptoms remind me of my hospital time. I have two young children and the worry about the effect this has on them is hard to manage sometimes. I'm doing two things to help me cope. First I'm having some NLP counselling which is helping me to talk about it without feeling I'm burdening my family more. The second is I'm learning mindful meditation. Both are helping me slowly come to terms with my life changing event, what I have witnessed and experienced. It's really early days but For example I woke up ths morning feeling dizzy and anxious(hate this feeling). The kids just wanted to play. I just wanted to hide. I did some deep breathing and managed to play, so a small success. I know some of what you are going through, i can't know how you feel but are here to vent when you need it. Take care. X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kpaggett Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Bev, I had flashbacks just like you're describing. First, it took me a long time to admit that they were flashbacks even. Then it was a long road to realizing that it was part of PTSD. Then as I read about this in books, it came to me that maybe I might need help dealing with it...I was a therapist, so I 'Should' be able to handle it right? Wrong. I felt like all I did was remember and cry to my husband about it. Now I still cry sometimes, but it doesn't feel constant like at first. It was so consuming all the time. Sometimes even I'd dream weird dreams that I was defective or out of control or about the hospital...yuk! Time is your friend here. I know you'll get through this tribulation just like you got through the actual event. A mantra that really helped me: I am stronger than my past. I am stronger than these emotions. I survived the SAH event, I can survive the remembering as well. I hope this helps. I know how stressful it is. ~Kris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VanessaW Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Hello Bev, I'm sorry to hear you've been having flashbacks, it must be deeply unpleasant. As has been mentioned, perhaps you are experiencing some post traumatic stress disorder - PTSD - apparently this is common after a SAH. It is thought that up to 40% of people may experience it as some point due to the shocking nature of the event. You're not moaning, it's a serious thing to deal with and important that you receive some help. Perhaps have a chat with your GP to try and get the help you need with this. If I find any literature of any help with this, I'll forward it to you. Wishing you well Vanessa - new member Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimble Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 I've just come out of hospital with my sah was in tue to fri but should really have been mon but the hospital sent me home on mon said it was stress! Ha Anyways the hardest part in hospital for me was ringing my mum up to tell her what was happening! I could just feel the silence at the other end of the phone .... It was then I realised how serious the situation was for me and I won't forget that for a long time..... Hope your recovery is going well... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 Hi bev it might not seem like it now but it will get easier I was frightened I wouldn't live to see my children grow up but one is 8 nine next month the other just gone 5 and I had them both after. I still get occasional bad days even now ten years on but not as often, and I don't panic about not being alive to see them grow up. Just try to relax and enjoy being with your son, don't spend to much time worrying just sleep when you need to and drink plenty of water your dizzy spells will lesson over time and if they don't it kind of becomes a part of you and you don't really notice it anymore. Jess.xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 On the other side of it I have no memories what so ever of being in hospital, my family or anything - some of you may think lucky person you are actually I dont see that at all because its just that I have no memories AT ALL of that or my past. So hopefully for you all the bad stuff will ease with time dont look back look forward because you crossed the biggest hurdle you survived.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Mario Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 Like Louise I have no memories of hospital or for a few following months. I find that hard to come to terms with as I have "lost" several months of my life. I sometimes, but not often now, 8 years on, get flashbacks of when my head exploded initially, the paramedic arriving and inserting a canula and me vomiting. That is all the memory I have of the event, everything else is a blank. Originally I had regular flashbacks of all I could remember but now they have diminished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 I remember nothing about hospital apart from nurses hitting me ..Nooo it's a made up dream I had a fit and saw them over me guess it was either NDE or out of body thing as it happened twice. once in ambulance on way to hospital and a 2nd time in ward. I am glad I cannot remember as I'd be scared of what did happen to me, guess it's my brains way of coping with it.? Ambulance had to stop once on way to hospital and paramedic women who was taking hubby to hospital had to go in ambulance and swap with ambulance woman. Never asked why as too scared..lol Catch ya all later WinB143 xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 Penny I lost 'years of my life' nothing....they do lesson and you just adjust to how things are now onward & forward eh!. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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