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subzero

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subzero last won the day on July 14

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About subzero

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    Senior Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Scotland
  • Interests
    Sport-(watching rather than participating now)Football, Golf, Athletics

    World travel

    Reading-Gardening-Having a latte as often as possible with my wife (she had SAH 5/2011)

    Late learner for Washing & Ironing, Hoovering, Dusting, Washing up-

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  1. Hello Yoyo, many thanks for continuing to share your anxieties. It is clear from your comments that you are desperate for your relationship to work following your SAH. Our members are urging you to talk it over with your husband and maybe you are even afraid and already presupposing that the outcome of such a discussion may not be what you hope for. The content of your latest post is ideal for moving forward with your husband. It tells him exactly what your anxieties are. Is he aware of this site? There is so much within BTG that would help him too. As has already been said, SAH does have a major effect on relationships. It poses different obstacles depending on the severity of the SAH and it`s after effects; and also depending on the strength of the relationship that existed before SAH. For example, seeing a partner become disabled and no longer able to function as they used to, is so hard. It may take months or even longer before you can consider returning to work, and even then a new set of issues arise. Often full time work is no longer a reality. In addition, SAH may have changed your personality (often this can be temporary and certainly can improve with time). It is not easy to cope with a loved one who seems no longer able to control emotions such as irritability) A bleed can often damage the area of the brain that allows you to take that few extra seconds to evaluate a situation before you comment or react. Now you may say it as you see it without thinking that your actions or words may be hurtful. Your husband may well be confused and uncertain about what the future holds for your relationship Also, from what you say, it appears that you want the relationship to be more physical. Often, due to post SAH issues such as fatigue and low libido and just physical weakness, it is the partner who feels left out of a physical relationship. You have everything to gain by showing your husband that you care about what happens to you both ... you cannot give any guarantees about the extent of your recovery, but you want to do your best to build the future together. I do hope that you can both take that step to share your feelings and find a way to help each other deal with what SAH has done to your relationship. Subs
  2. Hello and a warm welcome to BTG This BTG link referred to by xmartz 3 hours ago may prove helpful with many of your issues raised in your post. http://web.behindthegray.net/index.php?/topic/2112-what-happens-to-us-by-marie-allen-psychotherapist/#comment-110929 Subs
  3. Hello Deb, well done for sharing with us one year on from your SAH. I sympathise with your struggles during the past year as you have tried to deal with recovering from your SAH and having to deal with the other issues in your life. You have had a tough time. It would be great and a benefit to others if you could summarise the highs and lows of the past 12 months. However if you want to leave this for a later time that is ok. Take care Deb, and always remember that BTG is always around to offer you support. `As they often say, `A burden shared is a burden halved`. Subs
  4. Good morning and a warm welcome to BTG. You are in good company. There is a wealth of members` experiences over 10 years within the various forums. As you search for cases that you feel are relevant to you I am sure you get much encouragement finding how members have dealt with the challenges of their SAH. We only offer support, we do not give medical advice. As you mention in your post, your life has been totally turned upside down by your bleed. No work for three years must have been so hard given the type of work you were involved in. How did you cope? Often, the tendency is to try and get back to normality too soon and your body and brain just don`t get the time they need to adjust and recover. This can lead to frustration and disappointment as you discover that it is all these items on your list become very relevant and prevent you getting to where you want to be. Patience and listening to your brain and body are so important. Do you have family and friends around you? Your list of issues affecting you are common to most but in varying degrees of seriousness. Thanks for taking the time to share your experience on this site. Wishing you well as you try live your life post SAH. Subs
  5. Hello Lori A warm welcome to BTG. You will receive valuable support from the members who share their experiences in the different Forums, and comment on how they have faced recovery following their SAH. or NASAH. We do not give medical advice. First of all you and your family have faced an incredible challenge given that no sooner had you returned home with your newborn, when you experienced your bleed. As a carer since my wife`s SAH 6 years ago I can understand how your husband felt in these early days. Although with the added responsibility of a newly born son, and his employment to think about, he must have had so much pressure to deal with. Hopefully there was family around to ease the burden. Understanding the challenges of recovering post SAH is a new world for most. You have not mentioned when your bleed occurred, but you have dealt with your recovery well. You will find much on this site relating to returning to work. A teacher`s job as you say, is full of pressures everyday. Most jobs these days are pressurised. It is wise when thinking about returning to work, to ask your employers for a phased re-introduction to the classroom environment. Puting your body and indeed your brain under too much stress is likely to be detrimental to your recovery. Patience and listening to your body and brain is so important. Fatigue is also an issue that has to be faced realistically. Of course you have your family responsibilities to deal with too. The cause of an SAH is very difficult to establish. This also is covered within the Forums. There are members who have extended their families post SAH with no complications. I wish you and your family well as you face the challenges of recovery. Please keep in touch and I am sure other members will offer their support in the days ahead. Subs
  6. Good morning and a warm welcome to BTG. So glad you have found the site and thank you for your comments. While we do not give medical advice, there is a wealth of information within the various forums that will be useful as you recover. Ten months since your SAH, you will be able to look back and assess how far you have come.. It would be helpful for new and old members if you tell us about what has happened to you in the Introduce Yourself Forum ..... if you feel inclined to do so. It is perfectly normal to feel anxious about having another bleed. You are not alone in feeling this way. In the ten year history of BTG, there are very few recorded cases of a second bleed. Take heart from your consultant`s recommendation to defer having another angiogram until next February. Over time, as you focus more and more on life after SAH, the thought of another bleed will become less and less. You have done well so far... you have been given a second chance at life to seize and enjoy. Keep well hydrated and give your body and brain time to heal and adjust. How have you found returning to work? How are your family adjusting as you recover? Take care and keep in touch Subs
  7. Hello Tori Thanks for your update. Hopefully your mum will show sings of greater recovery with time.. In these early days her body is so weak and tired and as we have said, her brain will be trying to readjust to the bleed. At this stage rest is all important. Her hours asleep are so crucial to her getting stronger. Hope you and your family are adjusting ok. Subs
  8. Hello Tori. A warm welcome to BTG. Great that you have found the site so soon after your mum`s SAH. You are in good company with members who are eager to share their experiences with you, and support you when needed with answers to your questions. There are also over 10 years of historical cases within the various forums. As you find your way about the site these will prove most helpful. We only offer support, and do not give any medical advice. You and all your family have been on a traumatic journey since your mum experienced her SAH five weeks ago. She has obviously suffered so much as the medics tried to stabilise and treat the bleed. The anxieties during that time you will never forget. You are no doubt physically and mentally exhausted. It is very early days in her recovery. It will be several months before you will get some indication of what longer term damage has been done because of the bleed. Every SAH recovery is different. You have done so well by being there for your mum. Keep talking to her even though you may feel she doesn`t hear you. Keep encouraging her. Also please make sure that you and your family take time to look after yourselves. Eat and rest well. Talk about your own worries. Mum`s brain will take many months to heel and during that time , especially at the outset, you may find that her personality has changed and her reactions are out of character. This may change with time. Memory and fatigue issues will also be very evident. She will be in great hands with the neuro staff. Please keep in touch and don`t hesitate to share your concerns with us. Subs
  9. Hi Kris ....hope your angiogram went ok yesterday. Subs
  10. Hello, thanks for getting back in touch. As a carer I will never fully understand what it means to have the 24/7 pain you describe in your post. Having such debilitating pain for almost two and a half years must be so hard to endure. I know that you will receive comments from members who have dealt with their pain. Meantime, have you researched the posts already logged within BTG site? A search for `headaches` on the home page search box will give you much information. Subs
  11. Hello Sairah, also a warm welcome to BTG. As SM says, you will get much support on this site from people who have dealt with the challenges of recovery... some like you for a few months, and others for many years. Their comments on the various threads are so helpful to others. I do hope you and your family are adjusting to life after SAH. It is not like many injuries where a full recovery can be made after a few months. SAH affects everyone differently and the on going issues such as fatigue, headaches, mood swings, memory and temperament are constant challenges along the way. Getting back to work is never an easy decision and should always be phased depending on how much your body and brain can handle. Don`t rush it. Re television, for my wife it was the `shouting` She has not watched her favourite soaps for six years because of this. We would welcome your own story in the Introduce Yourself section, if you feel you wish to share what happened to you. I wish you and family well as you come to terms with SAH. Take care. Subs
  12. Michelle, well done on three years post SAH. Thanks for being such an active member of BTG both in the GR and in helping others with your posts. I think we all have a very clear picture of life at the caravan and Verdun`s fishing trips, and wish we were around as you share out these lovely cakes. Wishing you well as you settle in to your new home. With so much happening in your life in the past twelve months .....great to read that this is your positive attitude to the future. Subs
  13. Hello Jan, well done two years on from your SAH. I also think you have much to be proud for in your recovery. You have raised many interesting discussions for all of us this past 12 months, and added your own personality to BTG. I know it has not been easy for you but keep positive and keep moving forward. Thanks for `bearing` your soul along the way. Subs
  14. Hello Kay, also a warm welcome to BTG. So glad you were able to find the site. As others have said, you will get much help and support from reading the various threads and from the responses of our members. Three months on is early in your recovery. It is so important that you don`t try and get back to `normal` as quickly as possible. Your brain needs time to adjust and heal. Your fiancé did so well in insisting that the decision to discharge you early was questioned. I was present when my wife had her SAH six years ago. It is tough in a different way for us carers as we deal with what happened and it`s consequences. Speak often to each other about your feelings and fears post SAH. You are both daily finding out how SAH is affecting your lives, and wondering what the future holds. It is good that you are meeting with your consultant on Thursday. As already mentioned, write down all the questions that are upmost in your minds. I wish you both well in your recovery. Please keep in touch. Subs
  15. Jan, I`ve done a spell check on Macca`s post and it should be ...... B&**% Subs