Depression and anxiety

[lemonade]

so pleased i have found this site i had my SAH in april this year and i'm suffering from really bad depression and anxiey. has anyone else had this and overcome it. i feel i am going to loose all my friends and family because of it.

[Tinalrobinson]

so pleased i have found this site i had my SAH in april this year and i'm suffering from really bad depression and anxiey. has anyone else had this and overcome it. i feel i am going to loose all my friends and family because of it.

Hi, I also had my SAH in April. I then had a seizure in June so I've been put on Keppra. Feel so depressed & angry - my mood swings are awful & I feel bad for my partner & friends. I'm not sure if its the Keppra that's effecting me this way or just the post trauma of everything. Are you on any meds?

Sorry I haven't offered any help but I think it's good to know there are others in the same boat. Wishing you all the best. Going to make an appointment to see my doc tomorrow - need to get this sorted!! Take care T X

[lemonade]

Thanks for reply i have been put on2 lots of anti depressants but its a caseof waiting for them to take effect. my family cant take muchmore of me crying. did you have coiling/

[Tinalrobinson]

I'm a bit scared of anti depressants but I guess I'll just have to see what the doc says. I def need to do something it's putting so much strain on everything. I used to be so positive & now I just wonder why I bother! I had a clipping as the coiling didn't work.

I understand where you're coming from & just feel I'm on an emotional roller coaster & worried about the future. Maybe the ADs will kick in & you'll start feeling on a better level, I'm sure you're family are there for you unconditionally.

[lemonade]

idont like having to take antis but no choice cos i am so bad. i knowhow you feel trying to adjust to a new life is so hard and the acceptance as well. good luck with your gp hope you get sorted I was also a positive person imsure we willbe again

Edited August 8, 2010 by lemonade

[Tinalrobinson]

Thanks - feel free to chat anytime!!

[sallym25]

Hi Girls,

Welcome to the site. It's a really great place to chat with people about these things. Am sorry to hear you are both feeling so down. I had my SAH a year past in June. Until then I too was positive and outgoing. My doctor prescribed Fluoxetine when I went to him with severe depression a few months later. They have helped amazingly. I know if I hadn't gone for them there's a good chance I wouldn't even be here today. A few people said "no dont go on them", But I'm so glad I ignored them. I told the doctor about this and he explained how they work and that they aren't addictive. I would now recommend them to anyone who thinks they might help.

I hope you both get past this stage soon and that we will hear more from you as your recovery progresses

Sally x.

[paul99]

hi lemonade and tina

you are both in the very early days of recovery and you will feel depressed and suffer from anxiety it is normal one thing you are coming to terms that things have changed big time and its going to take quite some time for your bodies to adjust and recover but this will be in your own bodies time unfortunately you cant rush this process your hormones have also been altered by the sah and it will take time to adjust it will happen promise and it may take time to get the medication just right for your own body

you will go through many different signs and symptoms during the first year or so but what you need to do is try and take one day at a time please the tears lemonade is part of the healing process many on here have gone through the same thing i don't think the family will desert you it will also be hard for them to come to terms of what you and them have gone through the threat of possibility of losing either of you because that what has happened and that is very hard to shake no matter who goes through this nightmare it there any chance that you could sit with your own family and have a talk to see how each other feels about what has happened and try to get everything out in the open air so they know how you feel and you get to know how they feel i still cry because of no reason something just triggers me and im away ive given up trying to hide them i just let them flow and the friends i do have understand and im never belittled either nor are the staff who look after lin you will have good days and some bad days but within a fairly short period of time the good days take priority and the bad days diminish promise you could also talk to the surgeon and get a refferal to have counciling at the hospital and it may help your families if they logged on and read the posts on the site all i have to say now is take one day at a time and let go on here if you find it hard thats what we are here for to support each other take care

[Nita]

Hi to both of you. Welcome to BTG. I had 2 SAH's 4 years ago. For the first few months it was euphoria as I had survived them. Then came the anger, depression, anxiety and loads more. I didn't have any professional help and a doctor who knew nothing about my condition and didn't want to know. After 2 years of pain, no support and no desire to carry on with life as it was, I was suicidal! Luckily, when I was at rock bottom I had an appointment with my neurosurgeon. I "lost the plot" and he referred me to a neuropsycologist. She was so amazing, but at first I would would not have anti-depressants. I felt that was the only control I had in my life, was to say no to them. I ended up seeing a psychiatrist, pain management doctor, counciling, carry on seeing the neuro-psycologist, changing my doctor and going on anti-depressants! On the way I lost my son, my partner and nearly my mind! It's been a long hard road, but if I had the help from the beginning, maybe I wouldn't have gone through so much heartache to get where I am today! Today I am happy, but it took a lot to get here. Please take any help you can get, or ask for it. I know it's hard to when you are down, but if I had had the courage to ask for it, maybe I wouldn't have lost so much.

Love Nita xxx

[maggie]

Hi Lemonade and Tina, welcome. Don't despair it's early days give yourselves time. It's a roller coaster of emotions and often overwhelming. Not surprising given the enormity of what has happened. Keep posting and let us know how things are with you,there are alot of us here someone will be able to relate. Wishing you both all the best and looking forward to hearing more from you.

[Gill C]

Hi lemonde. I'm 8 weels post op & struggling wiht my emotions, a GP friend of mine suggested counselling & I ahve spoken to Wessex & they are referring me for counselling so it's worth asking what alternatives are available to anti d's or in conjunction with them. I think if I were further on in my recovery I would feel the frustration b0oioling over & could easily turn to depression. I think it's such a common thing to feel after what is a very large operation & it's sad that you aren't offered routine support once you are discharged. I didn't even know/ think that I would benefit from counselling until I asked on here as it's not something I would normally do.

I find it very hard now to be limited in what I can do & am in some ways am more tired than when I was in hospital because I'm doing so mcuh more than just lying in a bed.

I feel for you as I know how furstrating this all is but you really do have to slow down & take small steps to recovery. sending you lots of hugs (())

[Karen]

Hi,

Both depression and anxiety unfortunately, seems quite common .... I've suffered from both, but the anxiety has been a lot worse and I think that's the result from having seizures, before and after the SAH. The side affects from the AED's were the absolute pits.

I too, had the initial euphoria of surviving and that took me through the first 3 months .... however, reality started to sink in at that point, especially when I tried to return to work.

Guy's if you are able to get counselling, then go for it .... I truly believe that it would have helped me. If you're not offered it, then ask. There are also meds to helps the anxiety as well, so discuss it with your GP.

Frustration, tears and a bit of anger is perhaps part of the healing process and learning to adapt to how life is now. I still experience frustration and tears 5 years on ... often feel that I should have bought that punch bag .... I think, that as long as you're not taking out your temperament on the people that you love, then there's nothing wrong with having an outburst .... but, if it goes further, then you do need to seek help.

Nita, I'm horrified to think that you contemplated suicide and lost so much, before you were able to get help. Thank you for being so honest and hugs to you.

xx

[Nita]

Thanks Karen, but I didn't just contemplate it, I tried a few times. Thankfully I wasn't sucessful. How, I don't know? But it can be overcome if you seek help. At the time I thought I couldn't live with life after SAH, but I am living proof that it can be done. Ask for help, if not, shout for it. It can be done xxx

[Karen]

Bless you Nita and I'm so glad that you weren't successful .... I was once told, by somebody much further down the line than me, that if you mention the "S" word to the Dr's, they actually do something .... but it shouldn't have to come to that.... it's an absolute disgrace. Thank you for being so honest and I'm sure that your posts will help others.

Hope that life is treating you much kinder now! xx

[KelBel]

Hi Lemonade

I suffered really bad anxiety within the first 3 months after my SAH. Although it has now eased a lot I do still suffer bad bouts occasionally; making me angry and tearful.

I hope you manage to get some counselling sorted out to help deal with your emotions. I have had counselling and it helped so much, as I was initially so confused about why I was feeling so down (I know that sounds odd, but I was confused about what had happened, and why). Having it stated that I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress actually helped me to start healing, as I could read up about it and know that I wasn’t going mad! Good luck

Hi Nita

Glad you’re still here with us and congratulations on your journey of survival since your SAH. Glad to hear you are feeling happy now although it is sad that it was such a hard road for you to get to this point.

Take care

Kel x

[lemonade]

Thank you all for your responses and re-assurance. i know i will get there just cant see the light at the end of the tunnel at the mo. iits having to adjust to a new way of life as well when i used to be so independant. my familyjust think i am feeling sorry for myself i have tried to explain but they dont understand.

[lemonade]

Hi Lemonade

I suffered really bad anxiety within the first 3 months after my SAH. Although it has now eased a lot I do still suffer bad bouts occasionally; making me angry and tearful.

I hope you manage to get some counselling sorted out to help deal with your emotions. I have had counselling and it helped so much, as I was initially so confused about why I was feeling so down (I know that sounds odd, but I was confused about what had happened, and why). Having it stated that I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress actually helped me to start healing, as I could read up about it and know that I wasn’t going mad! Good luck

Hi Nita

Glad you’re still here with us and congratulations on your journey of survival since your SAH. Glad to hear you are feeling happy now although it is sad that it was such a hard road for you to get to this point.

Take care

Kel x

hi nita i am waiting to see a psychologist 6 weeks wait i think. glad you are on the road to recovery

[Skippy]

Hi Ladies

I suffered immediately after mine and was referred for counselling. Luckily my Gp has a Counsellor attached to the practice so I got to see him straight away.

I was a wreck too - always crying, feeling like I was going crazy and in a bottomless pit that I couldn't crawl out of. The counselling helped me tremendously - as has this site. I would definitely recommend it.

Feel free to ask anything you like ladies - always someone here who can help or understand.

[Nita]

Hi Lemonade,

It is a long road, but if you get all the help you need, you will get to a better place a lot sooner than I did. Get all the help you can and if it doesn't help, ask for more. When I asked why I didn't get any help sooner than 2 years, I was told it was because I didn't ask.

People who haven't walked a mile in our shoes, have no idea. But everyone on here does, so keep calling in.

Love Nita xxx

[lemonade]

hi lemonade and tina

you are both in the very early days of recovery and you will feel depressed and suffer from anxiety it is normal one thing you are coming to terms that things have changed big time and its going to take quite some time for your bodies to adjust and recover but this will be in your own bodies time unfortunately you cant rush this process your hormones have also been altered by the sah and it will take time to adjust it will happen promise and it may take time to get the medication just right for your own body

you will go through many different signs and symptoms during the first year or so but what you need to do is try and take one day at a time please the tears lemonade is part of the healing process many on here have gone through the same thing i don't think the family will desert you it will also be hard for them to come to terms of what you and them have gone through the threat of possibility of losing either of you because that what has happened and that is very hard to shake no matter who goes through this nightmare it there any chance that you could sit with your own family and have a talk to see how each other feels about what has happened and try to get everything out in the open air so they know how you feel and you get to know how they feel i still cry because of no reason something just triggers me and im away ive given up trying to hide them i just let them flow and the friends i do have understand and im never belittled either nor are the staff who look after lin you will have good days and some bad days but within a fairly short period of time the good days take priority and the bad days diminish promise you could also talk to the surgeon and get a refferal to have counciling at the hospital and it may help your families if they logged on and read the posts on the site all i have to say now is take one day at a time and let go on here if you find it hard thats what we are here for to support each other take care

Thank you for yourkind words and encouragement. my boys wont even talk about what happened they just think i am dwelling on things toomuch.

[paul99]

lemonade

i am so sorry to hear that and somewhat shocked you haven't mentioned how old they are i will pm you with my number check the private message icon on the top chin up girl

[donna79]

Hi Lemonade,

I suffered/suffer with anxiety and depression alot I went for counselling for post trumatic stress and I found it a great help.....I al also taking meds for this because I felt so bad and had just had enough of it all x x I am back to see someone tomorrow for anxirty and to talk to x x

My family dont talk to me about my SAH and I find it really lonely the only guys I have are on here and they are a god send and mean the world to me x

I am ALOT better than I was and I have alot of underlying things from the past that my SAH has brought to the surface but apparently thats what happens when you go through something as traumatic as we all did x x

I take one day at a time (each day I feel different) BUT it does get better...

I dont have any really close friends around me but I think they dont understand how I feel and I find trust very hard but again I dont know what that is all about....

Lemonade please feel free to pm me you are not alone and just keep positive and think it DOES gett better x x x

lots love

donna

xxxxx

[Tinalrobinson]

Hi everyone,

It's so great to read the heartfelt feedback from everyone. What a struggle!! I totally crashed emotionally on Monday. I could see no light at the end of the long tunnel ahead & felt everything was getting on top of me. I went to see my lovely advisor at Headway yesterday - she's such an amazing woman & told me it was fine & normal. She said she knew this was coming as I seemed to be doing 'too well'. She contacted the hospital & has arranged for the epilepsy & neuro team so see me ASAP as I am on Keppra for a seizure I had in June & this is supposed to be quite an intense drug - heard lots ofbad things about it.

I went to see my doc this morning & he's put me on a low dose of Citalopram & said it should just get me back on a level & wants to check me in a weeks time. He said I am depressed but need to see neuro team re the Keppra...

Let's see hey!! I hate being this way & just hope I can get some normality back in my life!! Crying at the drop of a hat is REALLY starting to do my head in!

Thanks again everyone - big hugs! Lemonade hope you're doing better XX

[Liz D]

Hi Tina and Lemonade

Welcome to BTG.

I too suffer from anxiety but it's a lot better now and I take a small dose beta blocker (it was prescribed for my blood pressure but helps with the anxiety too). I'm 18 months post SAH. I had flash backs and would waken at night thinking it was happening again! It's only very recently that I now can sleep without the hall light on and my bedroom door open! I found this site 8 months after my SAH and it's been a godsend. It took me about 6 months to just to be able to sit at the computer and not have my head start to pound!

But there is light at the end of the tunnel! It can just be very hard to see at times! I took inspiritation from members that were further down the road in their recovery but had the same feelings etc in the early days of their recovery.

I am now back at work and coping very well, this time last year I thought I would never be able to cope with work again!

Take care.

[JayKay]

Hello Tina and Lemonade,

So glad you've found BTG and can talk to us. I had my SAH in February and when I was discharged home I was told I'd see the neuropsychologist. I didn't think I needed to; thought I was coping fine ("Hey, I'm alive aren't I?" That kind of thing...) but actually she's been terribly helpful. She started by just getting me to talk and after a few sessions she started doing the assessments - tests to see where I need help, i.e. memory, concentration, planning etc. She is doing them in small sessions because they are ultra tiring and she says she doesn't need to know how I am on my worst day but what I can't do on my best day! I can't recommend it highly enough.

I do hope you get the help you need. Take care and keep talking to us!