Pseudobulbar Affect (Reflex Crying)

[kpaggett]

I've been having a lot of trouble with this (Reflex Crying). There are 2 good articles on the American Stroke Association. Does anyone have any good tips? I've found that putting a pen sideways between my teeth helps quell it faster. BUT, I haven't found a way to stop it from starting nor can I stop thinking about what triggered it in the first place. I'm a reserved person, so everyone knowing when something moves me in a small way is so frustrating.

The last time I was laughing so hard at the slightest of things, my husband started laughing because I was and it occurred to me that in actuality he was laughing at me...and then I started crying because I labeled myself as "Crazy". Whew. What a time...it's funny to reflect on it, but it's so hard when it happens.

It's so hard when others think I must be depressed too. I'm not at all. My mood is fine overall.

~Kris

[Winb143]

I have always laughed then after a good cry........I feel down as the laughter has gone..then I cheer up again lol

Who said I have lost the plot ha ha ...boo hoo

As long as we can smile and cry don't worry .runs in the family I guess...My Mum always laughed then cried...then she swore lol

Keep well KrisP

WinB143 xxx

[Gill C]

I'm quite an emotional person but it is worse now. I cry at the slightest sad thing on the tv& someone else crying is guaranteed to set me off. I don't try & stop it if I'm at home but I have cried in the school playground before now but no one noticed!!

[Winb143]

Gill

I cry at some of the posts on here...........I have lost the plot lol

Take care xx

WinB143 xxx

[Gill C]

Me too Win

[Winb143]

Okay Gill after 3 we can both sob or laugh 1st...hmmmm decision time..okay lets laugh last..as" those who laugh last

laughs longer"..lol

have a great Day Gill

WinB143 xxxxxxxxx

[paul99]

hi kris

its the bodies way of dealing with what has happened since lin collapsed i have found that i cry more often ive given up trying to stop them flowing i know when they stop flowing i feel better for a little while enjoy the feeling

[kpaggett]

Thanks everyone for messaging back!

I cried the other day because I found myself saying out loud, "I want coffee, but I don't want coffee" over and over for about 2 minutes, and that, my friends, is 'Crazy'. So it's sad, but it's funny to be able to be insightful about it later. I am really trying to embrace the 'Crazy' parts with the parts that have become normalized...the disjunction is sometimes so strange that it gets too overwhelming. I've turned into a drama queen, but I can't help it. The other day a goose flew overhead and it seemed so astonishing. What normal thought process is missing there...geese fly overhead all the time! I find myself saying, "Oh, brother" when things are a little off or "Oh, my gosh" when dumb things happen, but for me they are astonishing.

I also startle so easily like when we had a thunderstorm...every time the thunder happened. The door bell sends me through the roof. I'm glad I don't get angry very often

Oh, and just regular stimulation like a TV in the room really bothers me and builds up the stress level.

~Kris

[Winb143]

I've turned into a drama queen, but I can't help it. The other day a goose flew overhead and it seemed so astonishing. What normal thought process is missing there...geese fly overhead all the time! I find myself saying, "Oh, brother" when things are a little off or "Oh, my gosh" when dumb things happen, but for me they are astonishing.

Lol Kris,

We are going to get better every day...we will be happy then sad....but we will get better......( I HOPE LOL)

I like the new me....But I find I question my family too much.......Think I drive them doolally with my questions ....what happened

etc...etc... when I was out of it for a while... Oh well they will have to put up with the new me

Take care Kris

WinB143

[lisac]

Hi Kris, my therapist suggested using mindfulness when I start to feel upset or like I'm going to cry. Immediately start focusing on your breath (in and out) and bring yourself to the present and notice how your body is feeling (tense, tired, anxious, etc.) and tell yourself a mantra, like, "I'm strong and happy in this moment." It distracts your mind from crying and gives it something else to focus on. It has worked for me quite well. I also do it if I'm thinking of something during my hospital stay that makes me scared or sad. I tell myself, "I'm safe now, that was in the past." This would probably work with laughing too. Hope it helps. Lisa

[garyolly]

Never used to cry (at all) now I cry at everything.

Me and Sharon watched "Arthur Christmas" the other day (yes, very late) and i sobbed. Never used to like Christmas either.........WEIRD !

[Carl]

I cry more often than I ever did. Sometimes it is over nothing, other times it is at a commercial or in a movie. At the movies isnt so bad because the lights are out.

I sobbed at the movie War Horse, and not necessarily at the points where I should cry.

Last week when I was explaining things to my union president, someone I had never met before, I broke down and cried. Funny about 5 minutes prior I had mentions emotionaly liability.

Breathing steady and deep does help control it. But then again I wonder why we have to control it. Our brain is telling us to cry because maybe we need to. Maybe society is making us feel awkward for crying. socially unacceptable. More so for a man.

There are times where I don't want to worry about being acceptable. The weather is improving and I will be walking again. I usually walk alone and that allows me to reflect and sometimes cry when no one is around.

I am starting to like the "new" me, even if I do cry now and then

[goldfish.girl]

I cry a lot too, where as before I was always a 'hard shell, soft centre'. I switch the TV over if something is coming on that I know I won't be able to handle and rarely watch the news....there's ALWAYS something sad on that.....

Today at the beach as I headed back to the bus stop, I rounded a wall and the smallest Jack Russell dog ever skipped round it at the same time....I screamed, it's owner screamed & my dog did an aggressive growl (reacting to my fright & trying to protect me). I felt very, very silly but my tears & startle reflex have not recovered even after nearly 4 years. The tears I can avoid though by choosing not to watch something or not reading an article which has emotional content and avoiding at all costs any situation which I know will be emotionally difficult for me when I can.

Michelle x

[Winb143]

I cry so easily also Michelle.....I look at my dogs and I feel sad for them !!! lol ......See I know they missed me as

we are Special..people.

I spoke to a nurse and I mentioned my daughter.....I felt such a fool. as I couldn't stop the tears flowing

But I am getting there, (well to as I was in 2009/2010 !!) ...does that make sense ?

Happy hols All

Love

WinB143 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx No over doing it over Easter xxx xxx

[SarahLou]

I cry when I want and need to, I don't fight my emotions any more.

Sometimes it's great big sobs that come from the very core of my soul.

However I do cry alone, often it'll be while I'm in the shower or out while I'm walking alone.

I can't change the past but I do grieve for what I've lost and what I can't have.

SL Xx

[Winb143]

It's my singing that makes me cry....so bliming off key since Op..lol......I play my brothers songs they used to sing and I sing

along...it's like a cats chorus lol.....They are in key and I am so awful..like this..Ready a 2 a 3

Wont you come home Bill Bailey...Wont you come home .....I moan the whole day longggggggg

I'll do the cooking honey I'll pay the rent ........You know I dun ya wrongggggggg......

Thankyou Thank you .no more applauding me ....lol ~ No cryiing Kris,.Michelle, Gill, Gary ,SarahL ,Carl Paul 99 and Lisa... and all xxxx ...and if I forgot anyone sorry

Love

WinB143 xxxxxxxxxxx

Edited April 5, 2012 by Winb143

[goldfish.girl]

Win, as always, you cracked me up!

Sarah Lou, I get where you are coming from....the tears at something I see or read, I have to try to avoid, especially in public. The sobs when your heart is broken I have to hide at home - they come from nowhere sometimes, either for what I have lost or the absolute heartbreak at how I am now or how my wee boy is since his brain op & the hurt others inflict on him by their thoughtlessness, bullying & his isolation from his peers.....These are tears of grief and loss for me and him (age doesn't seem to make any difference where brain injury is concerned), when they start they are without restraint and I probably sound like a wolf howling at the moon and scare my neighbours!!! We can both walk, we can both talk, we are both very lucky, but that doesn't stop the loss at how much more we might have been if the brain stuff didn't happen....

The others are tears that wouldn't have come pre SAH & certainly not without my say so at something that is sad but not part of my life.......I used to be able to think 'that is so sad' but not cry over it. Now I think 'that is so sad, I have to get home before the tears come'....or pretend the hay fever has kicked in......

Michelle xx

Actually, reading that again, I realise I said something unbelievably stupid. Age does make a difference, I had the chance to be what I would be before my brain broke, my son (and any other child) has not had that chance to be who they would have become if their brain breaks. How stupid of me and a reminder that as an adult SAHer I have been very lucky indeed to get to adult hood intact.

Edited April 5, 2012 by goldfish.girl

[SarahLou]

Nothing you say is stupid Michelle, you're speaking with total honesty.

That's one thing my SAH gave me, and I'm grateful for that, I say things as they are now.

Life really is too short.

I know where you're coming from with the howling like a wolf description, I remember doing exactly that as I fell to the floor in my dads arms many years ago.

You're a brilliant Ma, you've a great family unit, be very proud of everything that you do and all that you are.

SL Xx (aka LoopyLou!! Xx)

[Winb143]

Glad I made you smile Michelle xx

I just asked my Hubby if I cry more....His Reply... with real interest was "Yawn naa Win ya always cried a lot " lol cheek

Oh well no changes after all

Love to all

WinB143 xxxx

[goldfish.girl]

Thank you Loopy Lou xx

Trying to keep on thread, Wins post reminded me of ex husbands comments about being stroppy. Is this another P.....??? effect that anyone one else has found? Win, I know he said you were always a crier not stroppy

I am more volatile than before - I can go from naught to 120mph in under 10 seconds at the slightest provocation. I can rant a whole sentence of swear words & wonder why people are shocked at this and even more angry that they are stood there listening to it instead of over-coming their shock & doing something to help. Is this another effect of SAH or am I just psycho & very bad tempered???? I overreact very badly to plans changing or having to be somewhere at a specified time even if I get out of bed 3 hours before that time! Just wondered if this is part of the same effect or experienced by others on BTG?

I have always been volatile if I am messed about but this is something else - I can go mental because I drop a spoon for goodness sake. I do calm down quickly though and probably cause even more confusion when I do.......

Michelle x

[KelBel]

I am more volatile than before - I can go from naught to 120mph in under 10 seconds at the slightest provocation. I can rant a whole sentence of swear words & wonder why people are shocked at this and even more angry that they are stood there listening to it instead of over-coming their shock & doing something to help. Is this another effect of SAH or am I just psycho & very bad tempered???? I overreact very badly to plans changing or having to be somewhere at a specified time even if I get out of bed 3 hours before that time! Just wondered if this is part of the same effect or experienced by others on BTG?

I have always been volatile if I am messed about but this is something else - I can go mental because I drop a spoon for goodness sake. I do calm down quickly though and probably cause even more confusion when I do.......

Michelle x

I can totally relate to that!! I now get so incredibly angry when I have been let down, or messed around, or plans have changed... it drives me to the point of insanity at times.

I think I used to get annoyed pre-SAH, but I don't recall getting as angry and, at times, as 'down in the dumps' as I do now.

I get very affronted sometimes when people are just taking the mickey or trying to wind me up. It happened yesterday at work, but I just say 'wrong day/time and wrong person to try to wind up!' They get it then... some are well trained... sometimes I can take a wind up, and others time I just can't take it.

I couldn't take it yesterday as I was trying to get through heaps of emails at work, print off paperwork, check it, and I had piles of work and kept getting interupted all day long... trying to wind me up in the afternoon just wasn't a good idea as I was feeling quite stressed and overwhelmed with the workload...

x

[DawnS]

I can sympathise with both the anger and the tears. I actually irritate myself, so I dread to think how my poor other half feels. When ever I want to do something and find that my brain just won't come up with the goods, I sob and sob and it takes absolutely ages before I can calm it down. As for the temper, it's like extreme frustration and if I didn't vent, I'd go crazy. It's taken a while for Andy to stop taking it personally and when he still does, that makes me even more mad. I must be horrible to live with I drop everything these days and my chest has become some kind of table (I need a bib!). I regularly drop my fork off my plate, alway when it's fully loaded of course. Another thing I regularly do is miss my mouth when I'm drinking. I drink my water from pint glasses, because if I drink from bottles I get really bad trapped wind in my chest, and the water just pours out the sides and down my face or worse, I tip the glass up before it's anywhere near my mouth. These small things drive me crazy to the point of extreme potty-mouth! And as for people messing me about with plans??

[Gill C]

I hear you all & echo it right back at you. I've been there & cried so hard I thought I would hurt myself - its usually done in private these days as I can't explain to anyone why I'm crying> I don't even know myself a lot of the time. The anger for me is the worst part & I can go from 0-60 in a split second, however since I've been on the anti d's I'm less inclined to lose it completely or want to strike out at things.

I know I get angry with Nathan because he doesn't understand the hugeness of what I've been through & so makes no allowances for the me I am now. Being told I miss the old mummy was truly like a knife to my heart & I really sobbed for hours after that. I don't think hubby understands hence the crying in private & sometimes I do feel that life would be easier for them if I wasn't around but it's better to have the new me than nothing at all.

I think you deal better with the anger as you accept who you are now, I attended Headway with a guy who had a bike accident only a few months before & I could tell his anger & frustration were just below the surface, he actually scared me!! He couldn't see anything wrong with his behaviour or a need to alter it so I say we're doing so well to recognise those emotions & embrace them, on that road to the big word of acceptance.

[Winb143]

My daughter has always been a good girl/now woman ....anyway one day when at school she came home crying...

"Mum teacher gave me school detention..sob" I looked at form...no reason put on form so I start seething smoke coming out of ears lol

"what have you done" I asked her in my most Mums angry at you voice....she said " I got giggles in school assembly" I wanted to laugh but thought ...No Win call Teacher and ask him why he had not filled out form....

So I rang him and said until reason has been put she cannot have it (detention) as school detention goes on record...

shall I come and see him.?....His reply "I will see Alan up the pub"." I said you do not discuss my daughter over a pint".

He replied well what if I don't wish to see you ! .I lost my cool and told him I do not give a monkeys what he wants ......lol bad Win

He said "how dare you talk. to me like this" I told him respect works 2 ways....Then I lost argument, I told him to pee off and slammed phone down.

So hubby went to see him lol as I was rolling up sleeves ready to put boxing gloves on.So always had temper where my Daughter is concerned..wonder if all SAHers have temper??

Love

WinB143 xx sorry about my termanology with English language

Edited April 6, 2012 by Winb143

[Sandi K]

I think everyone loses their temper sometimes however, I am definitely more emotional since my SAH than I was before. Some of this (a lot of it) comes out of my frustration at not being able to think clearly or 'manage' my thoughts well. I become exasperated and lash out.

If I'm well rested I think clearly and things make more sense and I can express myself well. I can handle the peaks and valleys of life better. When I'm fatigued and on the roller coaster everything is harder.

I get very angry and irritable with situations, other people, and myself. Sometimes I just have to close myself off in a room with the door shut to cry or calm down before I say something I regret. I didn't do that before my SAH. I was under a lot of stress at work but I just carried on, one thing after another, multiple things at once. Without tears. I would have frustration but not like now. Now I have that same frustration with situations at work and home but it's compounded by my being stuck in molasses (treacle) and not being able to express myself well and think clearly in the moment.

Sandi K.