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3 Years On....


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Today is 3 years since SAH rocked my world.

I have such mixed emotions, I feel like I could fall to my knees and break my heart crying.

I remember the fear so well, I knew that something was seriously wrong yet I didn't know what to do about it.

I was alone and scared and that feeling haunts me.

My beautiful daughter who gives me laughter, light and strength has just told me 'Mum, I'm so proud of you, you never give up' , bless her, her hugs heal all too.

I am very blessed to have come this far in my recovery and I know that I wouldn't have been able to make it through without the love and support of my family, friends and all you lovely lot on BTG.

Many times I've taken one step forward and two steps back. I've laughed, I've cried and I've thrown full blown paddys!

Yes, my SAH changed me, for the better, I prefer who I am now. I have much more patience and understanding.

I've learnt to not worry about the things I can not change.

Some friendships and relationships have shifted and changed, I've sure learnt who my true friends are.

I've lost some things but I've gained so much too.

I've got back bits of 'normal' that I didn't think I would, it's been a fight but I've stuck at it.

I'm still on a learning curve and that's ok, I'm fine with that.

My lil re-arranged brain still always has the last word though, gives me a kick when I've done too much and I need to rest.

I will celebrate on the 27th August which is the day I was 'fixed' , the day I was given a second chance.

I have a long beach walk planned and I can't wait.

I would like to say a huge big thank you to Karen, all the moderators and all the members on BTG, you have been my strength.

Take care,

SarahLou Xx

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Happy 3 year Anni SarahLou :) hope you are having a great day and enjoy your celebration on the 27th xxxx

Will join you and Win in saying thank you to Karen and all on BTG for all the support and friendship :) would not be where I am today without it xxx

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Happy anniversary loopy Lou!

I just to pop on & say that my last screaming, crying melt down over how my life used to be was 3 &a half years after my S.A.H after trying to go to a lunch with about 200 others who used to work in the same place I had worked in for 20+ years. It was so good to see them all but such a punch to the face to realise how different my life had become.

I hit 5 years last month & although I was aware of the date I no longer feel a need to mark it - that is the 2nd year I have felt this way & it feels good!!

Obviously the date will always give me food for thought but something has changed. Hard to explain it but it's almost like that was the person I used to be. Now I am different & when I try to compare the 2 now it has changed from 'walking away from the wreckage' to being happy with a life unrecognizable from the past one, like they are two totally separate things.

I hope this will be the same for others as time goes on. It wasn't't a conscious decision it just happened. Maybe my brain carrying out a life rebuild?

Enjoy your celebration on . 27 th. The beach sounds fab!

Michelle xx

Edited by goldfish.girl
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Wow scares me sometimes to think that 3 years on guys like your self still have thoughts on and problems due to this illness, before I found this forum I was assuming that as bad as it was it should be completey fixed, gone, over in maybe 5 or 6 months how naive lol

Your daughter sounds great and the fact she said she's so proud of you is amazing, the day my daughter tells me that will be the proudest day of my life.

I would suggest while your taking your along the beach maybe take 5 minutes to your self away from anyone put a cheeky we grin on your face, give yourself a pat on the back and say to yourself "this is me, I done this, I am alive and I shall not be defeated" if that doesn't make you feel euphoric, nothing will as this was probably the biggest battle of your life and you won, yes you had help and support but you were on the front line so you deserve the first salute!

Have a fan dabby dozy day and next time I'm over seeing the family in Southampton we can give each other a pat on the back... And get drunk lol bye

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Hello SL,

Well done on three years on. You are a great fighter and inspiration to all of us. I have learned so much from you and all on this site. Drink water right?

I am glad you have your daughter to share it with and i know she brings you much joy. I hope you continue to improve and wish you good health.

Best of health,


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Thank you all for your lovely kind words, it means a lot to me.

I've had a great day. My dear co-worker and friend, Annie, who I've known for about 17 years gave me a lovely card and some very, very yummy choccies. I was a good girl and shared them with the Hub and Miss C!

I cherished the beach walk, watched a stunning sunset.

I shall always celebrate this date as life is all about making memories.

Take care,

SarahLou Xx

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