SarahLou Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Today is 3 years since SAH rocked my world. I have such mixed emotions, I feel like I could fall to my knees and break my heart crying. I remember the fear so well, I knew that something was seriously wrong yet I didn't know what to do about it. I was alone and scared and that feeling haunts me. My beautiful daughter who gives me laughter, light and strength has just told me 'Mum, I'm so proud of you, you never give up' , bless her, her hugs heal all too. I am very blessed to have come this far in my recovery and I know that I wouldn't have been able to make it through without the love and support of my family, friends and all you lovely lot on BTG. Many times I've taken one step forward and two steps back. I've laughed, I've cried and I've thrown full blown paddys! Yes, my SAH changed me, for the better, I prefer who I am now. I have much more patience and understanding. I've learnt to not worry about the things I can not change. Some friendships and relationships have shifted and changed, I've sure learnt who my true friends are. I've lost some things but I've gained so much too. I've got back bits of 'normal' that I didn't think I would, it's been a fight but I've stuck at it. I'm still on a learning curve and that's ok, I'm fine with that. My lil re-arranged brain still always has the last word though, gives me a kick when I've done too much and I need to rest. I will celebrate on the 27th August which is the day I was 'fixed' , the day I was given a second chance. I have a long beach walk planned and I can't wait. I would like to say a huge big thank you to Karen, all the moderators and all the members on BTG, you have been my strength. Take care, SarahLou Xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Happy Anni SL xx and many more xx I could not agree with you more so Thanks to BTG Karen and the Mods. xx I felt alone but not anymore as we are a team. Many more SL xx Love WinB143 xx xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Happy 3 year Anni SarahLou hope you are having a great day and enjoy your celebration on the 27th xxxx Will join you and Win in saying thank you to Karen and all on BTG for all the support and friendship would not be where I am today without it xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryB Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Happy 3rd anniversary SL. Keep up the good fight. Maryb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Happy 3rd Anni Sarah Lou enjoy your day, see how far you've come hun, don't look back look forward.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheezo Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Happy Anni . Hope you have a fab day on the 27th xxxx Dont know what i woud have done without BTG and im ony 3months in hope its still here when I'm 3years xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iola Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 What an accomplishment and what strength. Do something nice just for you. You deserve it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldfish.girl Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 (edited) Happy anniversary loopy Lou! I just to pop on & say that my last screaming, crying melt down over how my life used to be was 3 &a half years after my S.A.H after trying to go to a lunch with about 200 others who used to work in the same place I had worked in for 20+ years. It was so good to see them all but such a punch to the face to realise how different my life had become. I hit 5 years last month & although I was aware of the date I no longer feel a need to mark it - that is the 2nd year I have felt this way & it feels good!! Obviously the date will always give me food for thought but something has changed. Hard to explain it but it's almost like that was the person I used to be. Now I am different & when I try to compare the 2 now it has changed from 'walking away from the wreckage' to being happy with a life unrecognizable from the past one, like they are two totally separate things. I hope this will be the same for others as time goes on. It wasn't't a conscious decision it just happened. Maybe my brain carrying out a life rebuild? Enjoy your celebration on . 27 th. The beach sounds fab! Michelle xx Edited August 25, 2013 by goldfish.girl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desy Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Wow scares me sometimes to think that 3 years on guys like your self still have thoughts on and problems due to this illness, before I found this forum I was assuming that as bad as it was it should be completey fixed, gone, over in maybe 5 or 6 months how naive lol Your daughter sounds great and the fact she said she's so proud of you is amazing, the day my daughter tells me that will be the proudest day of my life. I would suggest while your taking your along the beach maybe take 5 minutes to your self away from anyone put a cheeky we grin on your face, give yourself a pat on the back and say to yourself "this is me, I done this, I am alive and I shall not be defeated" if that doesn't make you feel euphoric, nothing will as this was probably the biggest battle of your life and you won, yes you had help and support but you were on the front line so you deserve the first salute! Have a fan dabby dozy day and next time I'm over seeing the family in Southampton we can give each other a pat on the back... And get drunk lol bye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Michelle I'm the same don't celebrate my Ani-day now except when I hit the 10year one.. It kind of fell away on the 2nd one my Dad died the day before it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wem Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 SarahLou - Happy anni-versary. Great to hear how far you have travelled during the last 3 years, gives others who are following behind you renewed hope. Take care, Wem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amexdm Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Hello SL, Well done on three years on. You are a great fighter and inspiration to all of us. I have learned so much from you and all on this site. Drink water right? I am glad you have your daughter to share it with and i know she brings you much joy. I hope you continue to improve and wish you good health. Best of health, David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahLou Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 Thank you all for your lovely kind words, it means a lot to me. I've had a great day. My dear co-worker and friend, Annie, who I've known for about 17 years gave me a lovely card and some very, very yummy choccies. I was a good girl and shared them with the Hub and Miss C! I cherished the beach walk, watched a stunning sunset. I shall always celebrate this date as life is all about making memories. Take care, SarahLou Xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Congratulations Sarah Lou and glad that you had a good day! Sending love and hugs xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Hey Sarah-Lou Glad you had a great day - you certainly deserve it. Yummy chocs too - bonus. Take care hun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myratas Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Hi SarahLou Sorry for the belated happy anni-versary. Loved what you quoted here, "I shall always celebrate this date as life is all about making memories." Wishing you further happiness and lots of health and good memories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momo Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Congratulations SarahLou, sorry I'm a bit late. I also love your quote. I think of my anniversaries as another box ticked. Good that you had a nice day. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kpaggett Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 SarahLou, I loved your statement. I love your attitude as well on your replies. They really give a good perspective. Congratz and I hope you continue posting which benefits all of us. ~Kris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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