Charty56 Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Hi All I am 7 yrs on form my SAH and found this site invaluable in the early days! I have rebuilt my life and am very busy now although life is very different! I hope you all are recovering well and continue to do so, if I can answer any questions let me know, however I have one question for any of you - how do I cope with my family (husband and daughters) who say - I told you that - you've forgotten! When I'm convinced they never told me in the first place! Happy Christmas to everyone Kind regards Caroline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Hi Caroline just let them think they have I really wouldn't worry about it at the end of the day unless you have a video recording 24/7 there is no way of knowing what was said, glad you are well xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Hi Caroline lovely to hear from you Really good to read you have rebuilt your life and very busy, although life very different, well done you ! Be very proud My family sometimes say to me 'I told you that and you have forgotten' like Jess has said, I try not to let it worry me. Try not to worry either......we all have good and bad days, even your husband and daughters even if you do forget sometimes I think you have a very good excuse ! Wishing you and your family a very Happy Christmas too Caroline. Take care and keep in touch. Tina xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
subzero Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Hello Caroline Thanks for your post. Well done for rebuilding your life following your SAH seven years go. I am sure your experiences during that time will be very helpful to draw on. I have some questions for you. I have been on the SAH journey too since my wife`s SAH May 2011. I am interested in how your husband and daughters coped as they lived with you dealing with the after effects of your SAH. It`s good to hear you are leading a busy life. What are the main differences in your life seven years on? Thanks and well done. Subs 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClareM Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Caroline Tell them they are all deluded and are possibly suffering from the after effects of dealing with a family member after sah! Clare xx p.s. I have no idea what I am talking about and don't want to remember either! lol! (the benefits of sah!) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Like you Caroline, I also get " You said that, have you forgotten it " with a quizzical look. One I cannot stand is "take no notice of your Mum" as if I am still in cuckooland !!! ha They mean well and were worried about us, I sometimes look at my Daughter and she still worries about me. So I tell her I am fine and not to worry, I think they forget what we went through and are trying to get normality back. Hopefully I am getting there, but I've never been 100% normal so what do they expect lol Good luck Caroline They went through it also when we were ill, so just be happy and congratulations on your recovery. Good to hear from someone a year or 2 on from me. xx Regards Win xxxx 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle C Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Hi Caroline, I forget all kinds of things but if anyone says that I have forgotten something I just remind them that I am living with a brain injury, don't let it get you down, You are doing amazing 7 years on, its lovely that you have recovered so well, that your life is busy and you are coping with that, well done you. Like Tina said, we all have good and bad days, even those around us who haven't had SAH have days like that, we do have a good reason for it. I`m 17 months into my recovery and I love to read about people who are years down the recovery path, it really does give us all hope. Hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas Caroline Love Michelle x 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Hi Caroline, I too am seven years on from my SAH. I am married, have several pets, and work full time as a coastal ecologist. I know that I don't accomplish as much as I used to; I am not as efficient and don't have as much stamina. Some days my memory is great and other days I can't remember a conversation I had the day before without clues and prompting. It's just a fact and I am quite up front about it. Yay said, I still do take affront when someone tells me we discussed something when I know good and well that we haven't. I have enough issues without anyone helping me to feel as though I've gone crazy. So I guess there are a couple ways to deal with it. Let your family members know they should make sure to have your full attention if they want you to remember something they've said, and I'm sure, like me, you have probably recognized that you have to work a bit harder to remember things. If it's something that wasn't important to begin with, laugh, claim brain damage, and let it go! ( and yes I know that is sometimes easier said than done,LOL) Colleen 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charty56 Posted November 29, 2015 Author Share Posted November 29, 2015 Yes I am 7yrs post SAH, it was very hard to have to retire from a job where I was top of my game! I worked for a local education authority and was Head of the Behaviour Support Service, I had previously been a teacher mainstream and special ed. Having to retire was not pleasant my life had changed completely and suddenly I had no identity, no structure to my day no buzz! No interaction with people daily. Gradually over the last 7yrs I have rebuilt my life, taking up photography and also working part time for a Forest Schools project which gets me out and about! I also have two Labradors which I take picking up in the shooting season! I do not have the energy I used to have and am a bit slower which I hate! I still try to keep fit although it is yoga and swimming these days! I now have 3 grandchildren and you can imagine that they keep me busy when they visit! I am 59 and don't want to slow down! Thank you for listening! Love Caroline x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charty56 Posted November 29, 2015 Author Share Posted November 29, 2015 Hello Caroline! Well done for rebuilding your life following your SAH seven years go. I am sure your experiences during that time will be very helpful to draw on. I have some questions for you. I have been on the SAH journey too since my wife`s SAH May 2011. I am interested in how your husband and daughters coped as they lived with you dealing with the after effects of your SAH. It`s good to hear you are leading a busy life. What are the main differences in your life seven years on? Thanks and well done. They were all very supportive! They kept a diary for me to fill in the gaps I was 6 weeks in hospital, I think there were some dark times for them! They have let me do things and supported me to do them, I had to relearn most things even down to how to thread my sewing machine! Have to be reminded of somethings now which I don't like! My life 7 yrs on is very different, I worked hard going out at 6.30 and returning at 7pm sometimes, my work was my life! Over night I had no life or so it seemed! The first 2/3 yrs were the worst! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
subzero Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Hello Caroline Thanks for your response. Well done to your family for giving you that encouragement and support. Seven years on they too must look back see how much progress you have made. I am so glad you have managed to move on and built up your new life. Take care and keep up that positive attitude Subs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Its nice you have the support of them its something that's lacking for me... Think we all suffer from the engery thing, but swimming - yoga and 3 grandkids hey there's your engery... Well done for rebuilding your life though a pleasure denied by many and welcome cant think if I've welcomed you or not glad you found us. take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charty56 Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 I am not a new member, I joined 7 yrs ago and my story is in the story section! Not sure why I've come up as a new by , but not to worry , I have found this site so invaluable over the years, to all of you - hang on in there it does get better albeit different! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kpaggett Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 I realized that if I just say, "I don't remember you telling me that. What is it again?" works a lot better for all of us instead of, "You never told me that." I know you might FEEL in the moment like they never told you something, but this might not be the truth. It was hard for me to make that shift since I had always been the one in our family that remembered EVERYTHING. Now, I don't...but it is still hard to convince myself of that sometimes and yet, when I'm not in the moment, I do realize that my memory is not what it used to be. Hope this helps. ~Kris 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClareM Posted December 11, 2015 Share Posted December 11, 2015 So true Kris, so true ................ Clare xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraNW Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 Hi Caroline, I myself have not had an SAH but I have been on here looking for support for my Dad who had an SAH and hydrocephalus around 6 months ago. Dad has recently seen a neuropsychologist as part of his rehabilitation and I just wanted to share something she said about a similar conversation. It went along the lines of "we all have those moments when we can't remember something being said, or having to think really hard for what we had for lunch yesterday, if you hadn't come into contact with brain injury you wouldn't attach too much importance to it, and would just shrug it off. So do the same now, it happens, its ok, don't try to reason it to the nth degree because this brain injury has happened, it can happen to all of us." Have a lovely Christmas, Laura 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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