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Hello, Friends Wanted - Feeling Alone - Kelly


Guest kdenardo
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Guest kdenardo

ya know, now that I look at that, it seems pretty bad, "friends wanted". I am not looking for people to take pity on me, just looking for someone that understands what I am going through. Let me begin, my name is Kelly, I am 38 years old, I live in the Midwest with my husband of 10 years. I am mother to 4 children and grandmother to one grandson. I had a SAH 6/2007 and now am "normal". I know I should be very thankful I do not have extreme dibilitating problems, but am finding it very hard to do so. I survived for 4 days with a burst until after many attempts at repreive, a neurologist looked me in the eye and said "Honey, you should be dead." Tubes inserted into my head, 2 additional aneurysms coiled, 33 days in the hospital, and released "fixed". I am no longer the person that I was before my burst, my personality has drastically changed, I must write down everything because my short term memory is "shot", I cannot concentrate even to do the dishes, the phone rings while I am filling the sink and I forget about it until the water runs over, I have double vision - this the doctor says my brain will "get used to" - still waiting, I was told my burst affected something called a pleasure zone, don't know what or where that is, just know that I have no desire to do anything. It has been over a year, my friends and family believe that I am all better - exactly when do we get all better?! When do we stop feeling guilty about asking for help? When do my children stop being scared about every headache? When do they stop thinking I am going to die? When do I want to have sex with my husband? When will it feel like we are husband and wife instead of roommates? Will I ever be the person I was before? I know I am asking a lot, I do take antidepressants, took them before the burst. I would just like to know I am not alone.

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You're at the low ebb now, things can get better. You've found a place here where people will understand exactly what you are going through, if you're up to it read through the forums and find the wealth of experience of SAH and the after effects of it.

Life will begin to get better but there is no miracle cure for how you feel just see the people that have come through the other side and think that you will come through as well.

Scott

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Hi Kelly welcome to BTG

We do all understand what you went through and still going through, it's not easy. I do believe that i am not the same person i once was but learning to embrace the new me which is sometimes hard to do.

A lot of the questions you ask are answered here on this site, there is no time limit on how we should feel, each person is different.

I do not like depending on others too so i try and manage as much as i can on my own.

I hope you to hear from you more, we all help each other. :D

Myra xx

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Hi Kelly,

Welcome to BTG :D there are so many people on here sharing the same experience that will you get no end of support.

It does get better, i'm two years on and still experiencing problems but its a slightly nicer rollercoaster i'm on now!

If you get half as much support from this site as I do then you will feel much better soon

Love and hugs

Laura

xx

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Hi Kelly,

Hun, you're certainly not alone. We've all gone through something similiar as you. You're feelings and thoughts are not any different to what we have all felt at sometime in our lives. My SAH was July 2007, so not so far behind you, eh?

The support here is great. When I found this site, it was a God send to me. I know I'd not be in such a happy place if I hadn't found it.

Welcome aboard hun xxx

Brenda xxxx

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Hi Kelly :D A very warm welcome to you.....you will find many friends here, who will understand and support you. I had my sah 10 months ago.....and i would not be where i am today if it was not for this wonderful website and all the special friends i have made. BTG has been a Godsend to me....thank you Karen, Keith, Chris for all the hard work and effort words cant express my gratitude.

Take care Kelly and look forward to hearing more from you. :D:D

Love Tina xx

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Hi Kelly

A very warm welcome to the site.....

You are definatly not alone in everything your feeling believe me......

and the short (short) term memory is a challenge isnt.....we had to buy a toaster because I couldnt be left to make toast under the grill.........

hope to hear more from you

take care

Louise.xx

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:D hi kelly i no how you feel my name is nick i had a stroke 28 april this year at 45 i got 4 kids and a great wife i now am

back to how i was but inside not the same kelly i can now run drive ect please come on the chat room on here kelly :D it helps people are all nice and under stand :D i am in market harborogh leicestershire i hope to talk to you kelly on the chat room your not a lone we all here :D love nick xxxxxx :D ps smiles help

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Guest ElaineW

Hi Kelly - I am a carer so I cannot help in the same way as others on this site. My mum had her SAH May 2008 and I have seen many changes in her personality. As you say short term memory most definitely is a problem and if I don't asnwer a question immediately mum forgets what the question was. Mum is aware now that she will never be the person she was and quite surprisingly has accepted it. I keep telling her I don't worry about the changes as long as I still have her and she is just grateful to have survived. It must be really hard for you but when you are feeling low if it's any colsolation your husband and children will just be happy to still have you around.

Elaine

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Hi Kelly

You are amongst friends here - and not alone. This is a wonderful place to be and there will be someone who knows exactly how you're feeling at some point.

I know what you mean about the "pleasure" zone - not sure whether mine was affected directly or not but I have lost a lot of enthusiasm and sometimes (still) just sit and sob because of how this has left me feeling.

Feel free to ask anything, cry with us, moan with us and laugh with us - we're all here for each other.

Take care hun, speak soon

Love Sami xxx

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Hi Kelly, Just remember, now you have said how much you need support you will certainly get it on here. There is always someone around who will be more than willing to help. I'm still at the grinding along stage I had my SAH in March this year. Do I understand or do I understand the short term memory problems, but I am fed up with all the folk who are actually quite normal, never had an SAH etc who say Oh! I know what you mean.....they don't, the people on here do! It will improve that is for sure :)

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  • 2 months later...
Guest charudeepi

hello kelly,

I think yours was a very impactful. Its very natural to feel what you are feeling now. mine was not even medically treated.

I used to feel exactly like u. i had no interest in life. It took me 6 months, for a very tiny brain bleed , which was not even shown for any medical treatment.

U will feel good in sometime. give urself a time. there are many people who overcome not a single but n number of such times.

its easy to give up but it takes lot of effort to live with it and give urself a chance to be as u were b4.

its easy to say dont worry - but i can only say keep breathing and one day u will realize that u r living.

cheers.

charu

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Hello Kelly

I had my bleed in April 08 and sometimes I like who I have become other times I feel scaredand fed upwith the way I have to live my life.

Like you I take antidepressants and I get the feeling I could be on them for a while :roll:

When I feel alone I remember all my friends on BTG and look at my 2 year old who needs me x x x

When you feel down smile even if you dont feel like it, it works for me, i just end up laughing :lol::lol::lol:

TC love Donna

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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