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misskdk
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Hi everyone,

 

My name is misskdk and I just joined after finding Behind the Gray last night. I've been spending the last few hours reading posts and articles on here, and I can't thank you all enough for sharing your stories ... they have already been a huge source of support for me and have given me a lot of hope.

 

A little bit about me: I'm 27 years old and was hospitalized in October last year, was diagnosed with a SAH and RCVS (Reversible Cerebral Vasoconstriction Syndrome), and also suffered a stroke while hospitalized. I spent about a month in the hospital and then another month at home recovering, before returning to work in December.

 

Since October, things have, of course, not been the same. Though everyone I talk to has noted how quickly I've recovered, I can sense that I am a very different person, be it physically, mentally, and emotionally, and it's been hard to adjust to the "new me."

 

I found Behind the Gray while seeking answers regarding my recovery and the changes in my life, and my expectations have already been exceeded. I hope to get to know everyone here and learn from you all, and once again I thank you for creating and contributing to such a wonderful site!

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Hi Misskdk :)

 

A very warm welcome to BTG...glad you found us!

So young to have been through so much bless you.

Well done on getting back to work so quickly....it is still very early days and you should be very proud of how well you are doing.

 

When you think of what you have been through, its not surprising you can sense you are a very different person and been struggling to adjust to the new you. Your brain and body have had a major trauma ! 

It does get better :) There are others here of your age that have recovered and gone on to have a family :)

 

''I found Behind the Gray while seeking answers regarding my recovery and the changes in my life, and my expectations have already been exceeded''

 

That's wonderful news to read  and we have the lovely Karen Hyder to thank for creating & setting up this amazing Forum, that has helped so many, me included !  

Wishing you well and look forward to hearing more from you. Feel free to post any questions you may have and join in the daily banter in the Green Room.

 

Take care

Tina xx

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Hi Misskdk,

 

Welcome to BTG, glad you found the site last night and have already gained comfort and support from it.  Sorry to hear what you've been through at such a young age though.  Unfortunately others don't always see or understand the problems we face during recovery, so a few reminders may be required - looking fine on the outside does not mean we are necessarily fine on the inside!

 

You have returned to work very quickly.  I, for example, was off work for 5 months, so take it easy.

 

Wishing you all the best,

Sarah

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Hi Misskdk, and welcome aboard BTG! Wow, you have been through the mill and I send huge compliments on you getting back to work so quickly. I had my SAH in December and am only now starting a slow return to my previous routine. Feel free to use your introductory thread here to put down your thoughts and feelings and I'm sure you will soon be able to look back and see progress and developments.

Like you, I've been very grateful to find this site set up by the lovely Karen.

Please don't hesitate to ask any questions if you think someone may be able to help.

Mandy x

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Hi MissKdk,

 

This site helped my daughter while I was out of it and now it's helped me. 

 

I was told all the grim stuff of my expectations on walking etc. 

 

My Surgeon told me not to stress, so do not stress xx

 

You will be fine. When down  try singing (I think laughter and singing is the answer to everything lol).

 

One more thing, do not listen to others problems while you are still healing as we need laughter in

our life.

 

Good luck and chin up xx

Regards

 

Winb143 xx ditto to what others have put xx

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Miss KDK you look like you look on the sunny side of life , hope it shines on you this year and I'm glad you are making good progress since your SAH. Keep it going , nice and steady does it but on those days when things just ain't what they used to and don't make any sense feel free to stick your head in with the 'really, does it do this? Why does it feel like that? ' questions that may be bugging you,

I was 39 when I had mine and three years on I have a semblance of something that resembles elements of my old life but the feeling different whilst looking the same takes some adjusting to. I have said many times that it is like similar effect as when a cup of coffee is spilt on the motherboard of your laptop, ever seen that done? I have, oops . :) So after it dries out sometimes can be turned back on but it just never works at the same speed and some keys do different functions randomly and often it will just shut down unexpectedly for a quick reboot....that's just like me post SAH but I figure that we are still the very very lucky ones as we are here and doing.

Take care.

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Wow, thank you all so much for the warm welcome. I have tears in my eyes ... I feel like I have already received so much understanding here in this one thread. I hope to give back to you all in some way!

 

Well done on getting back to work so quickly....it is still very early days and you should be very proud of how well you are doing.

 

You have returned to work very quickly.  I, for example, was off work for 5 months, so take it easy.

 

Wow, you have been trough the mill and I send huge compliments on you getting back to work so quickly.

 

To be honest, I am having regrets over returning to work so quickly, I wish I had taken the time to realize there were a lot more changes that I needed to get adjusted to. I focused so much on worrying how my mental capacity would be affected, that I lost sight of everything else that might be different. Besides feeling "dumber" than I used to, I also have numbness on the left side of my body from the stroke, and have issues regulating my mood ... I get really snappy at work now, and I feel terrible about it afterwards. My employer and coworkers have been pretty understanding, though I worry that they'll eventually get tired of my mood swings.

 

There are others here of your age that have recovered and gone on to have a family :)

 

That is great to hear! I have, sadly, been hearing more and more about younger people experiencing SAHs and strokes, though it is still a much lower number compared to the general population that is affected, and I have not personally met anyone my age who I can relate to on this level. It's been an isolating experience, as it's hard to talk to my peers about what I've gone through ... conversations get awkward and I hear a lot of rubbish such as "I thought only old people had strokes," etc.

 

I also do not have a spouse or partner at this time, though my parents and best friend have been great sources of support in different ways. I sometimes worry that I'm not going to find a significant other who is understanding of what I've gone through, and I worry that I'll still be alone many years in the future, when both my parents have passed. I know it's a ridiculous notion to have, so I do my best not to think about it and try to look on the bright side of things. I remind myself that I'm alive and I have so much I want to accomplish!

 

Thanks for reading my venting.  :blush: I wrote a lot more, but deleted it as it was turning into a novel, haha. Thank you all again for being so welcoming, I feel like I've found a great "home" here!

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Hi there

 

Warm welcome to the site, so glad that you found us.

 

Wow! well done you on getting back to work so quickly.

 

I found it so hard to get used to the 'new me' but now I prefer 'her'

 

look forward to hearing more from you.  for me BTG was a life line - literally..

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Hi ,welcome to the group and keep smiling ,I had my bleed 14 years ago at the age of 29 and can confirm that there is a life ahead of you to look forward to ,being young you'll get over the effects quicker and you'll be back to doing the things you once did before you know it.

 

I've just had another procedure on an unruptured aneurysm and didnt bounce back quite as quick as I did 14 years ago ,I too returned to work quickly trying to get what I thought normality back in my life ,please take care and rest where you can at any available time ,all the best ,jane xxx

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Misskdk,

 

Welcome to BTG.  I have enjoyed reading your posts.  I had my SAH March 8, 2015 and am still trying to understand the transition from event to recovery.  For me it still seems like an event - but one like I have never experienced before.  My brain decided it was time to shut down my body for a while...and now the re-boot of the system is in progress.  I have been spending a lot of time looking back over my life the past five years and the stress seemed to continue to build until finally something broke.

I was fortunate in that what seems to have broke is my acceptance that life had to bring with it stress.  What I have found here in this forum is an encouragement and reinforcement that stress is not an absolute part of my life and that I can make positive choices each day that avoid, reduce and eliminate stress.  Thanks Winb143 for the singing encouragement....and reduce the stress...

 

john

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I'd like to sing now but I better not lol

 

It is a good stress reliever especially when you have a voice like mine. !!

 

Love to All who have just started on their road to living again and never ever give up.

 

We can make it as we have overcome the worst bit.. Now Fight any aches you get and be happy

to be here.  Love you all BTG'ers. (Fighters all of you)

 

Be Well

 

WinB143 xxx

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Thank you Louise, Jane, and John! I am really enjoying reading everyone's stories and finding our similarities and differences.

 

Louise - Ever since discovering BTG, I have been more and more accepting of the "new me" thanks to you all helping me realize that what I'm going through is normal, that I'm not alone. I feel better in the last few days than I have in months because of this place!

 

Jane - Thank you for your encouragement! I wish you the best in bouncing back from your latest procedure, and hope you stay in good health and will never need another one. You are so strong from going through this for 14 years, I have a lot of respect for your resolve and everyone else's here.

 

John - Agreed that the stress is just not worth it, there is so much more to life than that! I am amazed at how active you already are in less than a month ... I was so sensitive to light and electronics when I was recovering, that I was barely able to look at a TV, let alone my cellphone or computer. I'm so glad you seem to be recovering very quickly!

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Hi misskdk,

 

Welcome to BTG!  The road to full recovery is a long one.  As you've already pointed out and found out for yourself, the new you isn't always quite the same as the old you!  That's not to say you should be downhearted about it.  There's an opportunity to discover new talents and new ways of doing things you used to take for granted.  It will make you more appreciative of the things you hold dear to you that you previously didn't think twice about.

 

I take my hat off to you going back to work so quickly, indeed you are lucky that you are healthy enough to be able to do so.  There's one thing to appreciate straight away, as others are not always so fortunate.

 

You may well experience many things, fatigue, headaches, light sensitivity, a dislike for crowds and so forth, but that is the road to recovery.  Everyone who has had a SAH takes their own time to travel this route, so good luck with your recovery.  It continues well into the time after you resume work, and it can have several steps back sometimes before you go forward again.  That also seems to be normal.

 

Always look on the positive side, though, as you seem to be doing.  You're not the same as you were before, not better or worse, just different.  Enjoy discovering the new you until you are, once again, comfortable in your own skin!!

 

If there is something you can't do now, that you once could, then look for a different way, you'll be amazed at how creative you can be!

 

Good luck!

 

Macca

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Misskdk - 

Glad to meet you although wish it was another way.  Sometimes I think we were all meant to meet one way or another and this site has provided that opportunity.  We can hold each other up and try to help all of those who find the site and are possibly scared and feeling alone.  I know I was.  Most of all take care of yourself.  I think you are going to be great!  Seriously.  You'll love your new self and others will love you back.  I already love you and we have not met.  lol.

 

My only advice is read the posts.  You will be amazed at how many things you have in common with people here.  It saved me post sah and changed my "new" life.  

Again...I think you are and will be great.  Take care of yourself and keep us posted.  Win is so right.  Singing is the best.

 

Love, Carolyn (Illinois)

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A very warm welcome and feel this site has helped me enormously just knowing others understand, I has SAH in January and just about ready to return to work very nervous about how I will cope mentally with work pressure. I think you have done so well to get back to work so soon and admire you. The new you is just part of the journey after such a life changing events and you will as others have mentioned learn to adapt, look forward to hearing more about your journey

Regards

Sharon x

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Thank you Macca, Carolyn, and Sharon. This place really gives me the boost I need every day, you all are so great and so supportive!

 

Macca - Everything you said is so true, I'm very different than before but it's not necessarily worse! I feel it's sort of like finding my way through a maze I grew up in, except for some reason the pathways have changed and I have to relearn the maze. It's tedious, difficult, and frustrating, but given some time I'll know my way around again! Thanks for the encouragement. :)

 

Carolyn - I stumbled upon this place accidentally one night, and I really think it's sort of serendipitous to have found BTG! We are all united by these unfortunate circumstances, but like you said, we can hold each other up and support one another. I love all of you for being here for me and I hope to be here for you all in turn!

 

Sharon - I wish you the very best as you return to work. Like I mentioned earlier, I feel I returned to work too quickly and wish I hadn't, so I absolutely encourage you to take it slowly. I wanted to get back to work as soon as I felt physically strong enough, but what I failed to realize was that my mind wasn't fully healed yet, and still isn't. I hope your return to work is much smoother than mine, I will be rooting for you!

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