Guest ElaineW Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Oh Paul - I am so sorry to hear the latest news but you are quite right never give up - they told me my mum would probably not make it but she did. Have you thoight about getting a second opinion maybe from a private Neurosurgeon? - I am not implying that her dr's are wrong but I know you will not leave any stone uncovered. I assume she is still on the trache and a feeding tube. Does she still have the drain in her head? Thinking of you both lots Elaine & Maggie (my mum) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted September 20, 2008 Author Share Posted September 20, 2008 thank you so much evryone i still dont know what to do i cant sleep and im so desolate all i want is ln back in my arms so i can hold her close to me i really do rhe consultant to me that the damage was bilateral and it was the vasospasm that has done the damage i feel so betrayed by the consutant at north staffs they knew and they didnt say anything that hurts so so much the dr at stafford has told me they are gong to remove the nasal gastric tube and place one into her tummy through the tummy to feed her and they are going to in the furure close the trachi so she looks better i dont ****** care what she looks like i just want her home she is stable and breathing on her own im sorry im being a pain just cant stop tears falling just feel so abandoned what i have done for lin to suffer dont want to go on without her laughter smiles and voice annd looking into her eyes what have i done wrong sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Hi Paul I really feel for you, and yes we would like an update all the time cause I know of someone else who was operated on by her surgeon they were given the same kind of prognosis as Lin but they are walking about talking speak to my dad quite regular and they can't praise him enough stay strong Paul she is half way there she is still alive. Jess.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Hey there You must remain strong and positive Paul. In my opinion (not that it's worth much) Drs always give you the worst case scenario so that you don't build your hopes up and then sue them cos they told you someone will be alright. The brain is a very complex thing and the Drs don't know enough about it to be certain of anything. Like the others on here have said - the were given a prognosis and the reality is nothing like it. It's good that Lin knows that you're there - the looking for you when she heard your voice is a positive - hang on to it. By just knowing that you are there she is getting her comfort and strength from you - it's probably making her feel safe when you're there too. Take care and keep us all updated Love Sami xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted September 20, 2008 Author Share Posted September 20, 2008 hi evrybody just got back fixed feelings and emointions lin was very down today not very happy she didnt look at me untill i had to leave at 5 but when i went back at six she did open her eyes and i fell in love all over again she had a tear in her right eye and i kissed it i do think she knows im there i dont know why but i get a funny feeling everytime i look at her at one time i thought i saw her try to move her chin up it was so small a movement i just dont know only time will tell the dr does seem to care and i will be seeing him sheduled for friday next week so it might be earlier just have to wait and see i am going to ask if she can have another ct scan and poss an eeg wether they will do it i can only ask so i can try and fix it in my head thanks for being here for me i feel tired so i will close good night and god bless you all xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 Hi Paul I'm glad that Lin was responding to you again this evening. She was probably too exhausted earlier in the day it must have been quite traumatic for her the move from one hospital to another. Lin is really fortunate to have someone like you who cares so very much about her. Please remember to take care of yourself because Lin will need all your strength and support in the coming weeks and months. My thoughts are prayers are with you both. Janet x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 All the things you are saying brings it all back so vividly with my mum. Sometimes she didn't want to look at me and didn't open her eyes the whole time I was there so try not to let that part of it get you down. Keep pushing for Ct scans etc, I did the same, she is breathing on her own so that is a big step forward. I felt like I had won the lottery when the trache came out. I have no doubt she knows you are there. Can she nod or shake her head? Hope you got some sleep. Elaine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mojojojo Posted September 21, 2008 Share Posted September 21, 2008 Dear Paul, May i first say i am new to this site but i am not new to the emotion you are feeling right now, my heart goes out to you and i encourage you to find Strength from peoples stories on here. Your dedication much like your dedication to the NHS will prevail. People on this site are amazing, and each have a story to tell i find so much comfort in their words hope you do to. Like you did i work for the NHS and its hard at times to work in the hospital seeing people struggle with illness but my heart is always caring. Be Strong and if you ever need a chat pop on here and let people listen Take Care Sharon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted September 21, 2008 Author Share Posted September 21, 2008 hi everyone just got back very quite day reflections and wonders lin was asleep all the time her eyes have stopped looking at me she seems to looking down to the right twice i think she looked at me very breifly but holding her hands and kissing her face seemed to be all i could do i didnt stay the full two hours today some how the 6 till 8 hurt a lot more than the 3 to 5 which i did enjoy talking to lin and gazeing into her face when all i wanted to do was take her in my arms and hold her and tell her im sorry and that i love her maybe its the fact thtat it was sunday and we were due to have been at falkland palace in scotland this weekend for a week maybe i will better tommorow and maybe lin might be a little better i hope so i really do i just love touching and getting a slight reaction i am so sorry for ranting on it seems that i just want to put it all down to get rid of some anger and frustration and hope that lin will wake up and call me a silly bu***r im not willing to give her up we have lots of things to do together and im not going to give up either thank you for allowing me to rant on so you all such special people and all deserve better in life just hope i can do it and become a better person good night all pleasent day tommorow xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasbo Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Hi John Really sorry to hear of what you're both going through right now. Please take care of yourself so you're fit and healthy for Lin; stay strong for these tough times and be ready for the better times as Lin gets over the move. The new doctor sounds much more empathetic and there for you which must be heartening. Stay strong and keep in touch. Sarah xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Hi Paul hope you are looking after yourself aswell. Paul, Kev and my mom often wondered if I knew who they were and that they were there but I did I remember them being there I even remember my nan and aunty and uncle coming from hereford to see me, so I know she knows your there. Stay strong. Jess.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Share Posted September 22, 2008 hi evryone rough day to start couldnt help blubbing to staff at hospital think it all got on top being told friday then having to spend so much time on my own i hate it the thought still goes through my mind about losing lin but after blubbing for a while i spent the whole day with my darling lin she is still looking as beautifull and as sexy as before and to hold her hand and being allowed to clean her trachi and mouth out made me feel a lot better she is opening her eyes when the nurses use the waste bin it bangs as the finish and she opens her eyes for quite a while and looks ahead i also saw the pysios this afternoon and they told me they had lin siiting on the edge of the bed doing things excerises i know when i got there she was tired and not very with it then i noticed her head was swelling again i told the nurse and they are keeping a very close eye on her ?hyropheiles sorry my spelling is rubbish maybe a scan tommorow wait for the consultant to check but the best bit of the whole day was when LINDA MOVED HER HEAD ON HER OWN NOT MUCH BUT SHE MOVED IT what a day flipping heck its the first time she has moved since the 29 of last month and its made my day canot say anymore than im pleased as punch i would have snogged her there and then but its not the done thing so im told but i did give her some tender loving kiss's and told her theres plenty more where they came from and she can have all of them anytime she wants them i know its seems i have gone over the top but after all this time lin has showed me shes there and i know she has a very long way to go but im going to stick to her like glue and forever and i reckon i will be able to hold her in my arms down the line thank you all for being here for me cant thank you enough i know theres going to bad days but when she does something new it boosts me up like swabbing her mouth out with the little sponges she opened her mouth and promptly shut it again with the sponge still inside made me laugh i did get it out but thease things are a sign that somthing is happening i think i can sleep now for a change so i will close for now and let you know what dr oke says tommrow sleep tight everyone and god bless and thank you all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennissmithy Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Hi Paul, Glad it has been a better day, hold that positive thought in your head but remember the backwards steps and don't be disheartened when she has a not so good day. Heres to tomrrow- hopefully another good day. I will reply to your pm as wll but been really busy decorating- i'm struggling to keep up with message boards and not just fall asleep! Love and hugs Laura xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 Paul I am so glad it has been a better day today I hope they just keep getting better but like Laura said if she has a bad day don't be to disappointed and look after yourself. Jess.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mojojojo Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 Paul & Lin My thoughts are with you both, i hope each day see's an improvement for you. Remain positvie although i know it's hard at times. Please take care thinking of you Sharon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted September 23, 2008 Share Posted September 23, 2008 You've had that "lottery win" feeling now and I am so pleased for you, I felt exactly the same when my mum curled up her lip (it's a habit of hers) and it was the first thing she did whilst being in inteneive care. Gosh I cried that day. Everything crossed for some more good days ahead I hope. Elaine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted September 23, 2008 Author Share Posted September 23, 2008 hi everyone just got back my darling has had a heavy morning with phisyos and slept most of the day at first lin looked rough but later looked so beautifull as she slept most of the afternoon and evening and looked peacefull and resting i was told lin had squeezed the drs fingers this morning but i havent seen any reaction when i asked her to squeeze my fingers so i suppose lins got the hump with me lol but just to sit with her and hold her hand is a privilege and to be able to stroke her forehead made my day elaine you are right about the lottery feeling it was so nice to feel it after so long and today hearing it from the staff that something is happening makes my heart sing even the trachi is clean and no jucky stuff except when they put the nebulizer on for a while still early days but if all goes well then i will be happy the swelling is still up and her left eye looks like she been ten rounds in the ring but they are keeping a very close eye on her which is nice and reasurrreing far better than n/staffs hospital very much like a convayor belt well i will keep it short tonight as i need to get some sleep goodnight every one god bless you all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Paul I am so glad Lin as done so well again she is getting there hope you are still looking after yourself aswell though. Jess.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Share Posted September 24, 2008 hi folks hope you are all well lin is much the same but when i touched her lips which she hated before she clamped them shut sign she is there the hospital tell me she is aware but she cant get it out maybe one day she will and lin looked at me for a long time and kept comming back to take another look so i will class this as a good day despite the nurooligist pulled me in to say that he doesnt think she will make it quote unquote to much agaisnt her like a pe and infection told him i didnt want to hear that and if hes that worried about infection work on closeing her trachi then the problem wont exsist and to get her mobile then the pe will not occour daft isnt it when they say things like that i the way i responded i know is going to take time but they make me angry rather angery than go down like i did before one day at a time thats all for tonight folks im tired long day enjoy tommorow love to you all xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Hi Paul So glad you had a 'Good day' that's the spirit You hang in there....and take care Bless you, love Tinaxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Glad you are still getting some happy moments. Physio will wear Lin out, my mum was out for the count after a small amount of physio and even being hoisted into a chair was a real ordeal. Any news on the CT scan yet? Does Lin show any recognition if you point to a letter board or is she able to nodd or shake her head? I assume the feeding tube is still in her stomach. Having a clear trache is good news though - does she have any infection - so many questions, sorry I do go on. Elaine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Share Posted September 25, 2008 hi everyone its with a heavy heart that i have to tell you lin is very very poorly she has a rageing chest infection that hit her last night i have just popped back for a change of colthes i have been with her all day and she still looks so ****** beautifull and sexy and i am returning back to the hospital the drs have stated that they will not revive lin if she stops breathing so i hope you understand that lin is my life and i need to be with her for as much as i can thank you for being here for us please excuse me if i dont do anymore update untill lin recovers but i do promise to keep you informed bye for now xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Paul I am really sorry Lin is so ill. Stay strong. Hope the infection clears soon. Jess.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Paul...God bless you.......my thoughts and prayers are with you and Lin, so sorry to hear she is so ill. Take care Love Tinaxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Thoughts and prayers are with you both ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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