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My Darling Linda


paul99

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Hi Paul - it sounds like you are coping which is good, I tihink it was something that I managed in the end without really thinking about it! In the end you just think about nothing except getting into the hospital. My feelings are that Lin would be better off in hospital - I think you would find it a real strain if she were to come home so soon. Just hang in there and her day will come when she is able to walk out that hospital.

Elaine x

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Paul, just to reply to your earlier post ...... as much as you want Linda back home with you, I would doubt that they would freely discharge her, if she's not stable enough. I would also say that she's in the best possible place, especially if there was an emergency situation and the first few weeks after a SAH, seem to be the critical ones. I have heard that some people are released over the weekend period, but have to stay at the hospital during weekdays, but again, would imagine that you still have to be fairly stable in order for that to happen.

Once you are discharged from hospital, it's actually quite difficult to access the rehab/physio and anything else that you need, so if she stays in hospital, then they will monitor her and hopefully she will get any help that she requires, there and then, before finally being discharged home .....

I would say that in the long term, as much as it's hard for you to be apart from her, Linda is in the best place for her current medical needs. As many of us know from our own hospital experiences, they won't keep you in any longer than absolutely necessary, as they'll want to free up the bed as soon as it's feasible and when they consider that you are stable.

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thank you so much for everything you have said and i will take it on board i was thinking sometime down the line ie when they think of moving her but as you have all pointed out its the other disaplines that linda needs so i will bear up [not down for the time being ] may i say its you all that is making it possible for me to cope and i thank you for being there for me i am really grateful

 

today was a nice day seeing linda this afternoon was great her eyes were open and again she locked onto my eyes and stay looking at me for long periods before dozing off again for a few mins then looking at me she still isnt fully with it or so it seems but her eyes say it all i think she knows im there one other thing when i went to suck her mouth out cause she dribbles she began to suck the tip of the suction tube wich she has never done before just like a straw i did this four times and at first i thought i was seeng things but she did it every other time so that lifted me again i hope im not going mad

 

tonight though she was asleep for most of the visiting but a few times she opened her eyes and looked at me again all i need now is some movement from her hand or finger and i know she is beginning to come round it is still like watching paint dry but i really dont mind all because you are all suporting me by allowing me to waffle on and i hope you will let me continue and i hope it wont be long before linda is doing the typeing instead of me to the group and letting her tell you hows she's doing well im tired so i will close for now and update tommorrow and karen i will try and get her picture on tommorow

 

thank you all again night night love to all of you from both of us

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Hi Paul

So glad to hear of the slight improvement in Linda today. Remember it is early days and she has suffered a major trauma just keeping her eyes open to look at you is probably very tiring for her. I think she's definitely aware that you are by her side and as she gets stronger you will see more improvements. Hang in there Paul and remember to look after yourself as well.

Janet x

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Hey Paul

That's great news. You're doing the best thing, being there with her. I'm sure she's aware that you're there - even though she may not remember it later on - I know I didn't, but it's the here and now that will help her get through this. She's so very lucky to have such a devoted and adoring husband. Remember to take care of you too tho.

Believe, me I look forward to the day when Linda is typing herself here too - stay positive.

God speed to you both.

Sami xxxx

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Hi Paul

I've come into this topic quite late :oops: but welcome to behindthegray.

Great news about the improvement, but just remember ... small steps. You also have to remember to look after yourself too, as Linda needs you more than ever.

My thoughts are with you both.

Take care and stay strong.

Keith

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Really pleased you had a better day, I can really relate to having that feeling. I keep what I call a "happy thoughts diary" (which I did in fact start before all this happened to mum) and each day whilst mum was in hospital I wrote down something good about the day (even though it was pretty damn difficult some days), but I managed to find a happy thought - today you could write a number of things and on a bad day just to write that she is still with you is a really happy thought. Now I can read it all back to my mum.

Elaine x

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hi everyone just got back from hospital a bit of a mixed day at first lin had her eyes open and looked at me and i saw tears had come from her eyes and were running down her face which i kissed and dried up and when i spoke close to her ears she opened her eyes as if she had heard me and when i moved her arms she opened them again so im keeping wary thought that she is comming round but also trying not to get carried away she is still not moving will try and get an appointment tommorrow with some doctor to see if there is any more information they can give me tonight though she must have been very tired because the only time she opened her eyes was when i kissed her hello and when i kissed her good night and said how much i love her so one good day mixed with concern maybe im being selfish but the more sleep she gets hopfully she will wake up sooner

 

karen thank you so much for being able to put lins picture on alongside our name you just dont know how much it means to me to see her every time i log on thank you so much from the bottom of my heart

 

i am keeping a diary which the miu gave to me as they like to allow a diary to be kept so all patients can read it when they wake up which i thought at first to be silly but having started writing i found it helped me as well all the news and my thoughts and agonies which we have gone through lin more than me so yes it is so nice to get it all down well thats all for now im gong to try and get some sleep will let you know the update tommorrow take care everyone and god bless

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Paul,

Stay positive- small steps and we will all say 3 steps forward and 5 back! Its tough being a carer as well nd sometimes that is forgotten. I must say sometimes I forget the stress that Simon is under when he has to run round after me 2 years on because i am under the weather.

You deserve a medal as well. You are a great husband

Laura

xx

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hi everyone a day of horrors

went to spend time with lin and it looked like she had a bad day not very active and not responsive at all but sitting there holding her made it right just being there with her and letting her know i was there and whisper sweet nothings in her ear when at four 4pm i was told she was being transfferred to stafford hospital which was a very bad shock bearing in mind the registrar told me it would be three weeks minimum i told them lin dosnt go anywhere without me seeing the doctor who was treating her and told them what the registar told me it was a shockthen being told their both on holiday .

 

the ambulance turned up at 6pm and duely moved her off the ward still without me seeing a doctor but not wanting to be without lin i followed the ambulance to stafford and escorted lin to the ward on arrival the sister done her nut firstly she wasnt expecting lin or anyone as they had no beds after spending thirty mins the sister found lin a bed secondley she said lin was in no condition to be moved and she was fuming [she was very angry that the north staff s moved her because lins condition was so unstable and the fact lin had a trachi god knows what this has done to linda as the crew dispite being requested not to lay her on her right side by me because the pressure on the unproctected side would agrevate lins condition because on the movement of the vech would put pressure on the brain im not a happy bunny at the moment because the way the hospital have treated lin

 

the sister and the staff have been very considerate at stafford and have promised me an appointment with the doctor tommorrow who will sit down with me and answer all my questions and hopfully get some answers

 

am i being paranoid or unreasonable or selfish the fact that i hadnt had a meeting with the dr i have not been told anything i am still ignorant of what to expect {so i can come to terms and start to make plans all i want is lin back home asap and i am aware by reading your posts yes i know it going to take time long or short but am i wrong to expect answers to so many questions so i can be more informed and to help me cope am i wrong am i entitled to be informed by the surgeon as to a prognoises i know that the brain is complex i understand that fully am i wrong or just a fool who is worried about his soul mate and lover and best mate one could ever have sorry about the rant but i would love to hear what you say please am i a prat ???

one thing i will say the nursing staff at north staffs were supurb wonderfull and i cant thank them enough

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Hi Paul - so sorry to hear you had a rough time yesterday. I do not think you were wrong in the slightest, it is your right to know everything that is happening and it seems to me as if someones head will be on the block for moving her. Don't be surprised if Lin seems aggitated today -i know that everyone time they moved mum it seemed to knock her back a few steps and she was even more confused. I hope you manage to get to talk to the doctor -f not make an appointment to see him, sometimes that's the only way. Everthing crossed for you and hope you both have a better day today.

Elaine

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hi evryone just got back from seeng lin was really nice to sit with her it really was she was not good today suppose it was the upheval from yesterday lin and i had a visit from some of our friends which couldnt have come at a better time because the new dr came and introduced himself and wanted to examine linda and wanted a chat after i was taken to a side room and waited untill he came in with a nurse and sat me down and told me that my darling lin was serverly brain damaged and he didnt think she would wake up more than she .is my heart and stomach dropped so much it distroyed me i still cant take it in they are taking her off phenytone and going to see if she does come round a little more but they arnt very hopeful

 

i am not going to give up on lin and told them so he also explain that he wasnt happy and there were a lot of questions he was going to put to the surgeon and the north staffs hospital i told him i want to take lin home so we could be together as soon as possible he is supportive but as he said it will take time untill she will be ready for that stage but he will review every friday and if i have any questions or queries to let him know and he will talk to me [what a change ] i know lin knows im there because sheila our friend said that evry time she heard my voice she tried to look to see me and when i hold her she did open her eyes and look at me except for today but have put that down to the move yesterday

 

I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE UP ON LIN NEVER i want her home and i think the hospital know and will support me o in time im going to stick by her for the rest of my life and if all i get is that look she gives me then i would be happy and as you have all said to me time will tell i will try and keep up the daily progress report if you would like me to i just dont want to put and damper on such a wonderfull site and our new friends thank you so much for now i just want to sit and look at lin picture and pray in time she comes round a little more thank you all so much goodnight

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Paul,

What an awful day you have had. It choked me when i read your post.

There are people on this site that were given prognosis' that were not good but they are on here to tell the tale. Hold in there and take each day at a time.

Lets hope your new hospital is more supportive and give you more information

Love and hugs

Laura

xx

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Hi Paul,

Yes choked me too, you are so brave, what a devastating time you are going through.

I love the photo of Lin, and it is so lovely to hear you are not going to give up hoping, and as Laura has just said there is hope....God bless you...my thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Take care

Love Tinaxx

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Hi Paul,

I'm sorry, but I've entered to this topic quite late, but after reading your post, my heart goes out to you, and Linda.

Stick by your guns, in whatever you need to do. As in the end, it's what's in your heart that counts for your darling Linda.

My thoughts are with you,

Take Care,

H x

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