Bill B Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Hi everyone! I've finally got around to joining a support group. I had a SAH on Jan 15th 2005 but was lucky enough to be outside the Queens Medical Centre in Nottingham when it happened.I blacked out and rammed my lorry into an articulated lorry, but only found out what had happened when I came around with a group of people around me, protecting me from the other driver. I was coiled within a matter of hours and spent two weeks in hospital. Since the event I have struggled with depression ,Tinnitus and third nerve palsy. Short term memory is still a bit patchy but long term memory is unaffected. I was forced to leave my job, but have subsequently re- trained as a teacher ( specializing in Autism, Down's Syndrome and trauma related conditions). It has been a long road back from the SAH, but even though the Palsy gives me double vision and nausea, I feel very privileged to have been given a second chance to do something worthwhile. I find that being busy at work has been the best therapy, although I acknowledge that not everyone can have supportive bosses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kempse Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Hi Bill, Welcome to BTG. Quite fortunate to be outside the hospital when this happened. I think your change of career, following a sah is quite inspirational - congratulations on that achievement. Take care and hope to hear from you again, Sarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bogbrush Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Hi Bill and welcome. You sound very positive, and well done for travelling that long road back from SAH and for doing something worthwhile. It's hard work, as many on here will tell you, but to have travelled that road and made it is some achievement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill B Posted June 2, 2011 Author Share Posted June 2, 2011 Hi Bill,Welcome to BTG. Quite fortunate to be outside the hospital when this happened. I think your change of career, following a sah is quite inspirational - congratulations on that achievement. Take care and hope to hear from you again, Sarah I hope I'm doing this right. (I've never been part of an online community before). Thanks for your comments, though it is not really what I would call inspirational, it was more of series of lucky accidents that lead me to volunteer as a music teacher (just to give me a reason to get out of bed and wash). I worked for six months without pay before the college decided I was worth taking a chance on. The college paid for my training and when I qualified ,they allowed me to work for only three days a week,as I still become very tired ( as every one on this site will know) but I do know that there is always a way back if you want it enough. I have written a full account of my experience and would like to know if anyone is interested in reading it and if so, how do I post it? Thanks Bill B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Mario Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Welcome to BTG Bill. Congratulations on the achievement you have made since your SAH. To post your story click on articles, top right of the home page. It will appear for all to read after it has been moderated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bogbrush Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Bill, If you go to the homepage, towards the top right you will see the link to create an article. Once created, it will need to be checked for publication by an administrator. Once approved, it will appear on the homepage. Look forward to reading it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandi K Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Hi Bill! Welcome to BTG! Sandi K. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lin-lin Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Hello! I really enjoyed reading your post and I hope I can learn from you. The elements which I am interested in, is your re-entry into employment, in particular your change in career. My SAH was 18 months ago and I officially resigned from my Solicitor's job around six months thereafter. Following from this, I seem to have a total rejection of all corporate environments and can no longer see myself in a similar job where the motivation of the firm is money, money, money. I am now only motivated by people’s needs, in particular the needs of the disabled community. I now do voluntary work at the Citizens Advice Bureau and the Shaw Trust, (which helps disabled people overcome barriers to employment,) and I am totally inspired by the people I meet. I hope I am lucky enough to secure formal employment in this sector, but I will be looking for part time work first. I will be commencing a sign language course soon. I think it is fabulous that you work with impaired children. I believe that suffering adversity, (like we have through our SAH and depression,) provides a different insight into life and really forces you think about what is important and what is not. Post SAH, I have developed a greater empathy with people whose lives have not presented an easy course. I am really looking forward to reading your story. I was really drawn to your comment that you feel privileged to be given a second chance to do something worthwhile. I can relate to this and feel the same. Hope to chat soon, Lynne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winter Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Hi Bill and welcome to BTG!!! So glad to have you hear with us. I look forward to reading your story - what you've posted already IS inspirational and gives me hope for the future. So, thank you!!! Hope to hear more from you! Hugs, Carolyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill B Posted June 3, 2011 Author Share Posted June 3, 2011 Bill, If you go to the homepage, towards the top right you will see the link to create an article. Once created, it will need to be checked for publication by an administrator. Once approved, it will appear on the homepage. Look forward to reading it Hi Bogbrush! I've tried to post my story but don't know if it's worked? I will keep trying. By the way , thanks for for your support, six years on , one becomes a little immune to help, and cynical towards comments of support.I had no visible signs of trauma (because of the femoral nature of my coiling) so it was assumed that I should " get over it" and most of my friends have forgotten the trauma that I suffered. Sprained ankles and broken arms take centre stage in the reality of the the world I live in.That is why this site is so important to me, only all of you, understand what it feels like to have to re- invent yourself from nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debstir Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Welcome Bill, Yes, it's weird how once you're out of the hospital, everyone assumes you're 'recovered'. The clinical psychologist at the hospital support group I attend once a month said that loved ones often want to forget the incident as quickly as they can, and unless you have an obvious infirmity that reminds them of the SAH, that forgetting is usually pretty easy. But on this site we all understand. I too have left my profession (I was a fitness instructor), and am still deciding what to do next. I was doing a lot of volunteer work for a SAFE (Saving Animals from Euthanasia), and have continued with that, but still want to do something *else* as well. I agree with Lin Lin that my focus has changed completely as to what has value. I think the SAH was an incredible opportunity to redefine my life going forward, so I'm not rushing into any decisions...just sounding things out as they present themselves...it'll all fit into place when it's supposed to. Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Hi Bill Warm welcome to the site..... glad you found us. Well done on the re-training good for you, & with what you've been through you'll have a great insight..... look forward to hearing more from you... take care Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Hey Bill Where abouts in Nottingham are you?? I'm a fellow Nottinghamer(???) living in Rise Park but was brought up in Clifton. I had my SAH in 2006 and completely understand what you mean by people forgetting it ever happened and assuming that you're all better now. The people I didn't expect to think like that were my family but they have - so when I'm irritable and headachey I just get told I'm being grouchy or I have "a bag on" but they don't stop to think that I may be exhausted from work or have a crushing headache!!! Looking forward to chatting to you some more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gill C Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Hi & welcome Bill. I had my anni clipped last year but still have the after effects of the third nerve palsy, I still have the double vision too although my pupil isn't as badly dilated as it was. Huge well done on the retraining too, a teachers job is a tough one (I went to a teacher training college to do my degree). If there's anything you need help with just shout xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayKay Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Hi Bill and thank you for your story so far. I look forward to reading the rest! I have come to believe that the earlier one finds a support group the easier it is to accept what's happened and to start to rebuild your life. I have started up a Different Strokes group locally (with help from their head office) and I really hope to help more people. One guy phoned yesterday and left a message saying his stroke was 4 or 5 years ago and he really hasn't come to terms with it emotionally. Lin Lin is fab and our resident wise one Everything she says resonates with me. She shows us how to find the gift in what has happened to us. In fact, that reminds me, I'm going to do a separate post on "finding the gift" lol!! Take care and speak soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandi K Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 I love that idea Jen!! For so many of us the SAH has been a life changing event. The changes can include physical disability and job shift but many of us take it as an opportunity to also review and assess what we're doing with our lives and where we are placing our priorities. I can't wait for the new thread! Sandi K. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill B Posted June 3, 2011 Author Share Posted June 3, 2011 Hey BillWhere abouts in Nottingham are you?? I'm a fellow Nottinghamer(???) living in Rise Park but was brought up in Clifton. I had my SAH in 2006 and completely understand what you mean by people forgetting it ever happened and assuming that you're all better now. The people I didn't expect to think like that were my family but they have - so when I'm irritable and headachey I just get told I'm being grouchy or I have "a bag on" but they don't stop to think that I may be exhausted from work or have a crushing headache!!! Looking forward to chatting to you some more. I am living in Arnold, about two miles away from you, but was brought up in Calverton. My friends, in the pub- quiz team I am in, are brutal with their "mickey-taking" and take great delight in complaining about their minor ailments while I sit there with no visible proof of my trauma. I had a second operation, in August last year, to coil a re-growth at the base of the original repair. To prove it had happened, I dropped my trousers in the pub to show them the the bruising around the groin area. Its all good fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Hi Bill and welcome, Sounds as though you have a great sense of humour...which always helps! xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Hi bill welcome to btg look forward to chatting sometime. Jess.xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 Hey Billy Boy Sounds like you have the kind of sense of humour that I appreciate:crazy: Good on you. Not too far from me at all - I go shopping in Arnold most weekends. Let me know if you ever want to meet up for coffee or anything - there's that lovely cafe opposite Superdrug (ish) would be happy to come and meet for a chat. One of my oldest friends is from Calverton - we call her Annie Oakley - sure you'd understand why. For all the other guys on here, Calverton is fairly out of the way compared to towns and cities and we joke that a stage coach goes through there once a fortnight :lol: Let me know Bill, free most weekends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill B Posted June 4, 2011 Author Share Posted June 4, 2011 Hey Billy Boy Sounds like you have the kind of sense of humour that I appreciate:crazy: Good on you. Not too far from me at all - I go shopping in Arnold most weekends. Let me know if you ever want to meet up for coffee or anything - there's that lovely cafe opposite Superdrug (ish) would be happy to come and meet for a chat. One of my oldest friends is from Calverton - we call her Annie Oakley - sure you'd understand why. For all the other guys on here, Calverton is fairly out of the way compared to towns and cities and we joke that a stage coach goes through there once a fortnight :lol: Let me know Bill, free most weekends Hi skippy, I find all of this "opening-up" a little unsettling. It is six years now , since my SAH and I have not talked to anyone, who really knows what it is like, before. I find the thought of meeting someone who has been through the same thing a little disturbing, as I have spent the last six years trying to eradicate the event from my mind. Joining this forum is beginning to to educate me into a new way of coping with all my demons.I have always been the provider within my family and having to acknowledge that I need help is very difficult for me. My instinct is always to move on and make the best of whatever is thrown at me and never to give up , even when people say "your entitled to benefits " and " don't put yourself through all this because your not well enough." Well I know that I am not well enough, but working with people who are affected by congenital conditions that present with symptoms and behaviors , much worse than mine, leads me to a point where I can choose to ignore my own problems. To me , that is the point, I choose to ignore my problems, MY choice. Meeting up is a good idea, but please allow me time to get used this kind of communication. I have never been a member of any online community before and do not know what is expected of me.I have a My- space site for all my music , but it is all sorted out by by my (young [33yrs]) musical collaborator.I may seem to be savvy with modern technology , but really, when it come to computers, it's all just "press and hope". I hope to meet you one day,but need to understand what is happening to me on this site first. Bill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill B Posted June 4, 2011 Author Share Posted June 4, 2011 Hello!I really enjoyed reading your post and I hope I can learn from you. The elements which I am interested in, is your re-entry into employment, in particular your change in career. My SAH was 18 months ago and I officially resigned from my Solicitor's job around six months thereafter. Following from this, I seem to have a total rejection of all corporate environments and can no longer see myself in a similar job where the motivation of the firm is money, money, money. I am now only motivated by people’s needs, in particular the needs of the disabled community. I now do voluntary work at the Citizens Advice Bureau and the Shaw Trust, (which helps disabled people overcome barriers to employment,) and I am totally inspired by the people I meet. I hope I am lucky enough to secure formal employment in this sector, but I will be looking for part time work first. I will be commencing a sign language course soon. I think it is fabulous that you work with impaired children. I believe that suffering adversity, (like we have through our SAH and depression,) provides a different insight into life and really forces you think about what is important and what is not. Post SAH, I have developed a greater empathy with people whose lives have not presented an easy course. I am really looking forward to reading your story. I was really drawn to your comment that you feel privileged to be given a second chance to do something worthwhile. I can relate to this and feel the same. Hope to chat soon, Lynne Hi Lynne, Your right! Chasing the money is irrelevant, what matters is people . The corperate setup where I work is scared of my "disability" so they leave me alone. Its as if the disability act trumps all other politically correctness and allows me to plough my my own furrow whist they take great credit for employing someone with a disability. Some of the work I have produced (with the learners) is used as a recruitment tool by the college and heralded by OFSTED as a "shining example of inclusivity and diversity" but to me , its all so obvious. We all produce at our own levels and the measure of what we achieve, is not the end result, but the distance between the the starting point and the place we are now.I have been lucky enough to worm my way into teaching through the back door, but it all stated with voluntary work. You are doing the right thing! Volunteer, and keep on volunteering, until you become indispensable, and then you will end up with a job that, not only pays the bills, but also gives you the satisfaction that you are doing something worthwhile.Empathy has no value, but it is also priceless. Bill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 Hey Bill Don't worry - if and when you want to meet for a chat thats fine. It's five years in August since my SAH so I'm not fresh from the experience . Like you I denied it happened for a while and it took me ages to come to terms with it all, but five years on I'm pretty much as I was before the SAH and my life is pretty much what it was before. I know what you mean about meeting people too - the first two people I met from here were Janet and Sue and now we have a lifelong friendship and when we meet we don't talk about the SAH, we have a laugh and go out and just enjoy. Hopefully speak soon - opening up is hard at first, but the more you do it the easier it gets Take care of you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill B Posted June 4, 2011 Author Share Posted June 4, 2011 Hi everyone, I hope you are all having a good day. I was wondering if anyone has had the same advice that I received, when I had an appointment with an Orthoptic surgeon on Thursday 2nd of June. He suggested that I have an operation on my"good" eye to make it work in the same way as my affected eye, thus reducing the double vision. This alarmed me a little, as it seems to be like having a sprained ankle, and then deliberately spraining the other ankle, to reduce the appearance of a limp. This third Nerve Palsy has only been a problem since last August, when I had a reoccurring Aneurysm coiled. The surgeon has told me to think about having the operation and to let him know in four months time at my next appointment. Is this something anyone else has encountered? Thanks, Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gill C Posted June 4, 2011 Share Posted June 4, 2011 Bill I have perisitent 3rd nerve palsy which hasn't improved in the last 6 months so I knowI go in June they are going to discuss options with me, the orthoptist didn't specify but did imply surgery might be involved but until I see the Cons I won't know for sure. I'll keep you updated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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