alison Posted February 16, 2012 Author Share Posted February 16, 2012 Thank you everyone for your continued support, so kind of all of you to take the time to respond Well, today has been amazing, I arrived at the hospital this afternoon to find Chris had been taken off all tubes except his feed line. He was talking, sitting up, sort of, his eyes wide open. He had been complaining that he was bored and was asking for me!! I was like wow! Now all that is positive and lovely and so pleased he is so aware, the only thing is he was very frustrated, I expected this tho but felt helpless, he wanted to go home right then and was getting cross that no one would get him up! He was also swearing and saying he was going to get the police if ppl were not helping, also he was being very sexually inapproriate to me and the nurses. The nurses were great and said its common, his brain had been through a lot and he was bound to be confused etc.. I was a lil embarassed but I know he was unaware as he would never normally behave like that but it did take me by surprise lol! To be honest it made me giggle a lil bit. Besides that he was also quite normal oin some of rhe thhings he was saying. He knew he was in hospital, he remembered all our cats names and we have a lot lol he put his arm round me and gave me kisses, then a nurse got him a radio and he quite liked that for a lil while. So it was quite eventful, after all the negative news last week and here he was chatting away , even if he was a bit rude and kinda grumpy it was fantastic!! by 7pm he was nodding off so I let him relax and went home for the night. Ready to see what tomorrow will bring! They will be moving him from ICU into a ward next few days x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kempse Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Another great update Alison, so much progress since you first posted and to have Chris chatting away is brilliant, albeit some of it was not what you’d expected! I think the nurse is right when she says this confusion can be quite common and I suppose it may or may not last for some time. I can recall many a story on here of recollections of weird and wonderful things that have been said and done in those early days by sahers – there is little wonder when we stop and think what the brain has actually gone through. It must have been nice to see him without so many tubes attached – hopefully he won't continue to insist the police come and help! Hope you, the boys – and the cats have a good night’s sleep! Sarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldfish.girl Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 That is fabulous news Alison! It is amazing how the brain can recover, given how seriously ill he was just a week ago. Imagine how much better he will still get as the weeks go on A lot of people aren't fully aware as they recover. People think there were parties every night in ICU for example! Personally, I remember a very old doctor with grey hair who I didn't like - turns out such a doctor never existed........... Hopefully Chris will start to become less confused soon. I'm sure the nurses are just delighted to see him able to communicate (even if he is surprising you all with his comments!!!). Michelle x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alison Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 Thank you Sarah and Michelle I am popping up to see him later this afternoon and yes, he has made big steps in his early recovery considering where he was a week ago. I actually can't believe how fast the time has gone already. Its like the days can be long but the weeks zoom by . Much love to everyone xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steph Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Hi Alison, Great news to hear Chris has improved so much in such a short time. Don't worry about unusual behaviour, it is very common after such a trauma to the brain. I remember being convinced the nurses and doctors on ICU were training for Strictly Come Dancing. I asked one of them how they had the time while looking after the patients. She just smiled and said they were great at multi tasking! Loads of love to you both, keep smiling. Steph xxx;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lin-lin Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I remember being convinced the nurses and doctors on ICU were training for Strictly Come Dancing. I asked one of them how they had the time while looking after the patients. She just smiled and said they were great at multi tasking! - Steph This really made me laugh!! Alison - Glad to hear your good news. I wish your family well. Lynne xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryB Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 H Allison, My neighbors husband comes out of antesthesia (SP) saying sexually natured things all the time.AND she is the most prper person in the world. LOL, I was just reading the other day that one of the parts of my brain that is affected I could of had that symptom as well. When I had a major surgery 22 years ago I was "tripping" and thought the bed was one fire. I was so freaked out and everyone was just standing there staring at me. Jeez, the next day I remembered it all and it was so horriblely embarassing. I am so glad he is tlaking no matter what he says! Continue to keep us updated. Maryb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debbie b Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Thank you everyone for your continued support, so kind of all of you to take the time to respond Well, today has been amazing, I arrived at the hospital this afternoon to find Chris had been taken off all tubes except his feed line. He was talking, sitting up, sort of, his eyes wide open. He had been complaining that he was bored and was asking for me!! I was like wow! Now all that is positive and lovely and so pleased he is so aware, the only thing is he was very frustrated, I expected this tho but felt helpless, he wanted to go home right then and was getting cross that no one would get him up! He was also swearing and saying he was going to get the police if ppl were not helping, also he was being very sexually inapproriate to me and the nurses. The nurses were great and said its common, his brain had been through a lot and he was bound to be confused etc.. I was a lil embarassed but I know he was unaware as he would never normally behave like that but it did take me by surprise lol! To be honest it made me giggle a lil bit. Besides that he was also quite normal oin some of rhe thhings he was saying. He knew he was in hospital, he remembered all our cats names and we have a lot lol he put his arm round me and gave me kisses, then a nurse got him a radio and he quite liked that for a lil while. So it was quite eventful, after all the negative news last week and here he was chatting away , even if he was a bit rude and kinda grumpy it was fantastic!! by 7pm he was nodding off so I let him relax and went home for the night. Ready to see what tomorrow will bring! They will be moving him from ICU into a ward next few days x Hi Alison so glad to hear Chris is doing well x I must admit after reading your text it reminded me of my stay in Hull after coming off most of my tubes all but feeding tube i apparently rang my hubby and told him the nurses were trying to kill me x they said it was the meds xi saw teddy bears following one the nurses and a brown booted leg wearing a pink ra ra skirt coming out of the ceiling. lol x i remember being asked if i knew who one of the men at my bedside was i thought he was the lead singer from the pop band Fine Young Cannibals , i guess we all have some strange memories of our stay in hospital x we do get stronger x thinking of you both x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donnamarie Posted February 19, 2012 Share Posted February 19, 2012 Hi alison and welcome to btg sorry i have not said hello sooner its great to hear that chris is going well my thoughts and prayers are with you donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alison Posted February 20, 2012 Author Share Posted February 20, 2012 Wow LOL ty guys so much I feel better already hugs x I have just posted a topic on behaviour after SAH without reading this. I feel silly now and I am probably expecting way too much from chris way too soon. As open minded as I am I find his outbusrts distressing at times and I think cos I am the only one visiting him and dealing with him from a family point of view I have overthought everything and became quite anxious, so once again guys ty for your amazing love and support you help me everytime xx love you all loads xxxxxx Ali Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gill C Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 lison my Dad had a major bleed/stroke when he was in his mid fifties & was in hospital for a long time & then at a rehab unit for 12 months. At the first family meeting with the nursing staff my dads first question was about his sex life (la la la laI can't hear you!!!) My mum was beetroot red & I was so embarrassed!! My dad also swore a lot more & in the early days used to say he saw the nurses getting into bed with the patients. It did get better, gradually he learnt the boundaries of what was acceptable & what wasn't!! Its a huge thing that Chris has been through & his brain will be rewiring like crazy right now, it's tough but he will get there trust me xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alison Posted February 20, 2012 Author Share Posted February 20, 2012 Gill x big hugs ty x love your story ty, so very kind of you for sharing so much. I do feel so much better knowing that it is just a part of it all and there is light at the end of the tunnel that chris will calm down I have been keeping a diary, goodness knows how I got so organised to do it but I have been jotting the funny things he says down, in the hope we can look back and laugh one day. Chris is a very humorous person and apart from his inappropriate sayings he is comical. He looked a bit flushed and I asked him ' are you hot chris?' He replied ' well, I am quite sexy!' I was laughing a lot x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alison Posted March 2, 2012 Author Share Posted March 2, 2012 (edited) Hi Guys, hope everyone is well, i have not been here for a few days, its been full on to be honest and i not had the time. well Chris was moved this Monday to the East Surrey hospital in Redhill Surrey, which is great that Chris is moving on now. I am now in complete understanding of the roller-coaster i have boarded. I went to see Chris in his new ward at Redhill on Wednesday. He was fairly calmish...still very fixated with having a cig and some wine but generally not too bad. He was transferred to an Acute Medicine Ward which i thought was strange and not on a stroke ward. when I arrived to see him yesterday, he was lying on a mattress on the floor, i gathered he had tried to climb out the bed and he had and they decided that was the safest option. he was also laying with no protection for him to go to toilet, his hands were covered in faeces and on his pillow and sheets. A nurse came in a said he is refusing to let anyone clean him and he is being abusive 24/7. I told the nurse I hope he was was not reading into Chris's behaviour. He said well people just dont like to hear it ( Chris is pretty full on and quite vile in what he says and at times he tries to punch people including me when he gets frustrated). I thought his remark was strange and made me feel that he did not really have an understanding of brain injury. They 2 male nurses dealing with Chris felt intimidated and by him and were not talking to him, just pulling him around. I had to say i think you should tell chris what and why you are doing this and that so he knows, he has had a brain trauma he is not being deliberately uncopperative! Apparently he is going to be move to a rehab area , the sooner the better I hope cos i felt very helpless yesterday with Chris, he was shouting and very aggressive non stop. He would not let me clean him and any help i was giving was not making chris calm but making him worse. Now, I look at how far he has come and he has come a long way, he has regained all use of his arms, he is eating and drinking fine, he has stood and taken a few steps. I am now begining to learn and find out about what therapy I can give him too. I left hospital absolutely drained and exhausted and in nearly in tears from the frustration and tiredness worrying like crazy how on earth can i help chris and care for him if he does not improve...selfish i know...so that was a down day..i just look forward to the up days. its been a month tomorrow since his SAH. I am going to try find a support group today in my area as i really need something local and to find anyone that has delt with anyone so angry, abusive and violent in their early recovery. I am also worried about our sons visiting him, it may just be too much for them to handle. Sorry for my ramble, its early i not long got up and i just feel very low. I was going to see Chris today but I am just too tired to deal with him like that today and i am feeling terribly guilty and upset that i cant face him today and i am worrying he is not getting the right treatment....it all feels a bit bleak...but i am probably just dwelling on negative things cos i am tired. Thankyou for reading my ramble...hugs Edited February 24, 2014 by Tina Line spacing inserted to easier reading :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gill C Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 alison its us sending you the hugs you need. Don't be too hard on yourself this is a very tough thing to watch loved ones go through & at present there isn't much you can do. I know when I was in HDU my hubby was very worried as my face on my left had drooped & I was slurring my words & he tbe takinghrought that was the person he would home. Chris's brain has been through a huge trauma & at present is just trying to carry on the basics, once that healing gets futher onwards he will start to settle as the brain rewires other parts of his brain. Rehab is absolutely the best place for him to be & you must not feel his behaviour is in any way your fault. Things will improve but it will take time, push for the rehab unit to take him as soon as poss, athough I suspect that the wards may push for that too if they are unable to deal professionally with him. Please also speak to headway & see what support they can offer you NOW, not when he may be coming home but now when you need the support the most. Also speak to your GP & try & get some help with counselling if you can. I there a neuro nurse from the neuro unit who you can speak to for advice. Please also remember you havs us on here holding you hand. bless you Alison my thoughts are with you, be strong xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kempse Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Alison, I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time - it is a great strain for you, so there is little wonder you feel as you do. I'm sure he will benefit from the correct people caring from him - not an acute medicine ward:confused: Gill has given some good advice - you certainly need some help and guidance to see you through this. I've got to return to work now, but will be thinking of you and hope things are a little easier next time you visit Chris. Take care, Sarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahLou Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Hi Alison, Oh honey I'm so very sorry to hear that things are so tough for you all right now. I second everything that Gill has advised. I do have some understanding of what you're going through as when my hub was very, very poorly in hospital he was also very rude and aggressive to everyone. It breaks your heart to see it but you have to just take every single day as it comes. I hope that Chris soon gets the care he needs and that you and the children get the support you all need too. We're here for you, rant,rave,natter, anything. Sending big hugs to you. Take care, SarahLou Xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldfish.girl Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Hi Alison, This is such a difficult situation for you to go through, i'm so sorry to hear it & not surprised that you need a bit of time away today. I'm really shocked that he was left lying in that condition, how awful. Can you ask to speak to the ward manager on your next visit to try to push for Chris to get proper care in rehab instead, the sooner, the better, nobody deserves to be left in that state. Thinking of you Michelle xx T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 hi alison im sorry i hadnt picked up on your posting before as i have been involved with lin im really pleased that chris is making progress and is able to talk im unhappy with what you have posted please ask to speak to the matron soonest about the way you found chris and the way the nurse's are treating him its unacceptable both to chris and you having said that it could be that the brain is still trying to rewire itself and being agressive is par for the injury he has and the staff need to understand this its not his fault if there is a nueroligist at the hospital get an appointment and ask as many questions you have make a note of them before you go in and maybe the rehab would be good but this is early days still alison the roller coaster is a long one but with us here hopfully it will support you and take one day at a time chris has done the hard part he is very much alive and by the sounds of it he wants to make a go at getting better i will pm you with my number if you want to chat anytime chin up girl and take time out for yourself thats important because if you dont you wont be able to help chris hugs and cuddles sweetheart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Hi Alison, Try not to worry too much......I used to think I was in a cafe when I was in bed in hospital lol..I used to say to my daughter "Get my bag Sarah I'll pay" the bill....(daft aint I lol ...Well you said it Win) ...... He will get better and calm down ....been there got the scars ....lol Try and sing songs he likes get him to sing also.. My sister and sister in law used to to get me to sing..poor other patients....lol....We harmonised well in a fashion.... Keep bright and don't overdo it......Good luck to you both and remember there is a light light at the end of the tunnel.....Keep smiling and take care both of you Love WinB143 xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 If the nurses/carers give you grief......let whoever is in charge know. ....don't be fobbed off by anyone Good Luck to you and Chris Love WinB143 xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alison Posted March 3, 2012 Author Share Posted March 3, 2012 With all your support, kindness, down to earth attitudes and wonderful senses of humour I am staying focused and positive...big hugs to you all x i feel very humbled by all your wonderful thoughtful replies and the stories behind you all and I know you have ll been through so much yourselves. I know this is very very early days for Chris and I must learn not to have emotional breakdowns every time something happens that i think is negative. I am going to focus as much as possible on all the positive things that Chris has achieved. Chris has been moved now to a better ward, not a stroke ward yet ( waiting for a bed) and in the last 2 days has been much more relaxed. he has 2 beds pushed together on the floor and he is clean and was reading a mag when I got there and i kinda had a big sigh of relief that he was very calm, chatty and fairly humorous. I have a friend who is a social worker, he is a lovely chap, he went to see chris yesterday, wore his badge to get a few answers ( as chris is not a client just a personal friend) and asked the sister to show him chris's care plan etc..and is going to help keep an eye on chris's care now and be an extra voice for me ...big smiles. i feel so very honoured that I have you guys here, i would be in bits if i had not had the support of you here so i cant express how greatful i am enough! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldfish.girl Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Hi Alison, great news about your SW friend & his badge and that Chris has been moved to a better ward. Hang in there, you are not falling to bits or being negative, it's not even been a month since your world was turned upside down. This will get better for you both. Michelle xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KelBel Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Hi Alison With all that has happened in the past month it is no surprise that at times you might feel low and a little negative. It is a HUGE thing that has happened, and your world has been thrown upside down and all around. I think you are having a very normal and a very valid reaction to what has happened. It might be worth having a read up about Post Traumatic Stress as you might identify with some of the information. (I am not saying that you are suffering from this, it is just that might help; I saw a counsellor a few years ago, after my SAH, and she told me I was suffering from PTS. Once I read up what it involved, it started to help me to realise that I wasn’t going mad, I was having quite a usual reaction to a traumatic situation). It sounds like Chris is in a much better place right now, and once moved to a stroke ward I imagine it can only get better as he should then get the right care, by nurses who can understand his reactions. And it is fantastic that you have the assistance of a social worker friend who can help ensure the right care is happening for Chris. I hope things continue to improve for Chris and in turn for you and the family. Lotsa love Kel x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winter Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Good morning Allison! So happy to hear you've got an extra voice with your social worker friend. That should be a great help for Chris, and you too!!! Hopefully Chris will be moved soon. You've been so very strong getting through all of this! I'm sure you'll have your down days, but your positive attitude will help keep you going (which you've been doing all along ). I agree with what Kel and others have said - you're going through an enormously huge time in your lives and all your feelings are valid and normal. Give yourself a big hug for what you've gotten through so far. You're really hanging in there and doing everything you can do! My heart goes out to you, hon. Huge hugs for you and the family. Keeping you in my thoughts and sending extra energy your way. Take care of yourself, Carolyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Just dont you go and overwork Alison.....Try and smile...and be happy you both deserve it....... Love to You and Chris and all the best for the future xxxx Win walks away singing..skirt tucked in panties....oops scuse me All lol xxxxxxxxxxxx big bum showing !!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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