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New Member Alison saying hello


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Hi Alison - pleased to meet you. I'm sorry to hear your partner has suffered a sah - and so recently too. How is he doing? It's no wonder you have found it a shock - but hopefully between us we will help you through the weeks/months ahead.

Take care

Sarah

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Thank you so much Kempse. Chris was admitted to St Georges hospital in Tooting London in the Atkinson Morely Wing early sunday morning. He had his vessel clipped on monday, he is all tubed up, sedated, respirator, the works. He has not opened his eyes yet but has squeezed my hand 3 times when I asked him to on wednesday. The right side of his brain is where is anni was and on wednesday they told me he had had a stroke after looking at new scans and the fact he now hasa no movement in his left arm and leg. He has a chest infection that is being treated and they want to get him off the respirator asap. I know its going to be a bumpy ride and I know he is not out of the woods yet but I am trying to stay as positive as I can, I have 3 sons, 13, 15 and 23. My youngest 2. Who live at home with Chris and I are being so brave and I am being strong for them too.

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Thanks for the update Alison - I'm sure those early days are the worst, presumably you are feeling a little overwhelmed by it all and not being able to do much to help his condition whilst at the same time trying to keep your family together.

It will be hard going, but I think trying to keep a positive frame of mind will definately help. It does take time for a brain to improve from the trauma, but I'm sure you have read plenty of stories on here which will give you hope and inspiration. When I had my sah, two of my children were the same age as your two at home - my other son was only 8 at the time and it can be a bit daunting for them, but hopefully you will all get through this together.

All the best Alison - I'm sure others will be along in due course to say hello.

Sarah

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Hi Alison.

This site is full of people who have had every vascular event imaginable, so there will be loads of support and advice available over the coming months.

Partners of sufferers have, sometimes, to carry the burden of the aftermath and can be sidelined in the recovery process.

It was many years before I realized the full extent of my wife's sacrifice in my recovery process.

This site has been the bedrock of my real recovery. Unconditional support and advice , not available from the medical services,

and just good old fashioned encouragement, born in experience.

I am sorry you had to look for us in the first place, but now you are here,

welcome.

I hope things go well for Chris.

We all know the fears you are currently feeling, some of us personally, and some of us having worked through them with our partners.

I wish you strength and good fortune.

All the best,

Bill B.

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Thank you Sarah and Bill for your encouraging replies. I have been reading some of the personal stories here and wow! Amazing and so heartfelt, so many different experiences. Its been a great eye opener. I knew just about nothing of these type of events until just a couple of days ago and I have felt great comfort in reading them. Its such a big relief to find this site to be amongst ppl that understand and have been right there. I hope I will make some good friends and be able to share my rollercoaster with others here and maybe get to the point where I too can support ppl going through a similar experience. I am going to london to see Chris tomorrow, I have been going up as much as possible. I hope he will soon be in a hospital closer when his recovery gets under way. And It will be marvelous if he too can visit here himself oneday and get any extra support advice and just to be able to share things. Here is hoping he comes off the respirator asap. The longest journey always starts with a single step and I am there with him at every one he takes how ever many that will be. Love to you all xx Alison

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Hi Alison, welcome to this site, I hope you will get all the information and support you need here, I suffered a SAH on the 12th Feb 2011 and I praise God every day for saving me, I was pretty much out of it whilst in hospital but when I listen to events that occured I know how difficult it must have been for my family, I trust that your husband is recovering a little every day and that you will find the inner strength you will need to support him, please keep us posted on how he is doing, Jilly x

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Good morning Allison,

You've all been through a really scary and rough time of it! It's good you found Behind the Gray, so quickly - tons of information and wonderful people here to help each other through the recovery processes.

I'll be keeping you, Chris and your boys in my thoughts and sending healing energy your way.

Please do keep us posted, as you're able, on how you're doing and Chris's progress. We're here for you whenever you need/want a chat, have questions, just need to vent!

Big hugs to you all,

Carolyn

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Thank you Jilly and Carolyn for you kind posts. Sadly Chris has deteriorated this afternoon, his brain is very swollen and they have advised me its not very positive at all. He is going to have an op tonight to remove some skull to let the pressure off the brain and remove dead brain. All sounds very grim and I am pretty frightened to be honest. I will of course stay as positive as I can. I don't know how survivable this is and if he does survive the night what sort of condition he will be left in. Probably severely disabled I am told, so I am feeling bleak and lost in my heart.

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I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this setback Alison. I do hope the op goes well tonight, you must be beside yourself with worry. Don't lose hope, Chris is in the best place and these surgeons having amazing skills and will be doing their very best for him. I hope you have some family/friends around to help you so you are not dealing with this completely on your own. I hope tomorrow brings some encouraging news. Thinking of you all,

Sarah

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Hi, I am Alison from Crawley in Sussex. My partner suffered a SAH on Saturday 4th Feb 2012. I am still a lil in shock as it only happened few days ago but so thankful that I found this site for support and help.

Hi Alison

I'm glad you found this site so early on it really is a help. i didn't find it until a few weeks ago and i had my SAH 14 months ago. I wish your partner a speedy recovery. My stay in Hull helped me recover within 3 weeks of the Cranitomy and then i had a further op to rectify a detatched retina x I am on the mend so with friends and family im sure your partner will soon be home x thinking of you both x

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Alison,

Keep strong for your Chris...I had SAH my hubby and Daughter went through it....I had so many complications that my daughter

said to her Dad .."will Mum be okay Dad"...he "replied " yes but when ?"......keep strong Alison and I hope all goes well with Chris and op.

When I came around I felt sad that I had put my family through this....although not my fault, but I am now having rows and moans

with hubby so I know I am getting better lol back to normal married life !!!

Keep your chin up if possible Alison

All the Best

WinB143 xxxx

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Your posts have been of great comfort to me, thank you so much for taking the time to write them x hugs. Chris has his crainiotomy (sp) at 4am this morning. It went as planned and even tho he still sedated he has squeezed the nurses hand when asked which is such a glimmer of hope for me. I know we have a long old journey yet but the fact that he is still alive and moving his left harm lifts my soul so much x I know the next few days are crucial and as every hour passes that he is stable gives me more hope. I love reading everyones own stories, ty for sharing, they are inspirational and make me smile so wide that some of you have been where Chris is and are now out the other side making your own progresses x wonderful x much love to you all and thank you once again. This is a wonderful site and I have mentioned it to a couple of families I met going through SAH at the hospital :-D

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Hi Alison and welcome to the site it is good to hear that Chris is responding when asked and as others have already said it is much harder on our loved having to go through this ordeal. Thinking of you all at this very worrying time and wishing Chris all the best in his fight back to health.

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Hi Alison,

I am sorry to hear that you & Chris are going through so much. It seems encouraging that he is able to squeeze the nurses hands when requested to. Wishing you both lots of luck for a good recovery. You are doing amazingly well and being so positive through this. I'm sure it can't be easy for you. Remember to look after yourself too.

Michelle x

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Chris is still stable thank goodness. I can't get to London today which is frustrating but I can call the ward anytime to get an update. Does anyone know if there is any help with fares to see loved ones that are in hospital? I will be going up tomorrow morning. Even tho Chris has not opened his eyes since the event I love to hold his hand and waffle non stop to him. They said when they opened his head his brain was a mess what ever that means, don't sound great but however Chris comes out of this I am there for him in everyway x have a beautiful Sunday every one x much love x Alison

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Hi Alison

Glad that Chris is stable - believe me waffling on to him is not a bad thing. Apparently I can remember conversations that my dad had with me even thought I was asleep at the time!!!. Just letting him know you're there - either for his benefit or for yours - is a good thing.

Not sure about the help with fares - might be worth asking the hospital when you get there. I know some hospitals have family accommodation for those who need to stop there - sorry can't remember if you have children or not so don't know if this is a viable option should the hospital have the facility.

Stay positive hun - we're all here right behind you willing Chris on xx

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Hello Alison,

I have not chatted with you before, but I have been eagerly following your thread and I am happy to learn that Chris is stable. I am sorry to learn of your circumstances and I wish your family the very best.

I notice that you are enquiring about assistance with the cost of hospital fares when visiting family.

I enclose for your attention this NHS link regarding ‘Help with NHS Costs.’

http://www.nhs.uk/nhsengland/Healthcosts/pages/Travelcosts.aspx

You will notice that it deals primarily with the costs of the patient and not family members; but that does not mean that there is no help available at all to visitors.

Despite the website saying, ‘You cannot claim help with travel costs, if you are visiting someone in hospital..’ , the website then goes on to mention that individuals may receive help from the ‘Social Fund.’

The Social Fund is a Government scheme which aims to help people on a low income with expenses that they find difficult to meet.

There are different types of Social Fund benefits. With most, you have to be receiving certain other benefits to qualify. Obviously, I do not know your financial circumstances and so cannot give you specific advice.

The NHS website recommends that you contact JobCentre Plus for further advice. There is nothing wrong with this, however, the JobCentre is a government agency and so may not be entirely helpful in exploring your situation. I.e. if you do not qualify for a certain benefit, they may not be eager to tell you that you qualify for something else.

Instead, asking an independent organisation such as the Citizens Advice Bureau may be better because they will explore all aspects of your situation. It may be the case that you do not qualify for the Social Fund, but they may point out that there are other benefits which you should be receiving.

I also enclose for your attention details for your local Citizens Advice Bureau, listing their phone numbers, contact details and opening times.

http://advicefinder.turn2us.org.uk/?q=node/1006890

Good luck with everything,

Lynne xx

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