paul99 Posted November 14, 2008 Author Share Posted November 14, 2008 sharon as we said it is bXXXXdy hard ni on impossible but with friends like we have here on btg it makes a difficult situation bearable and without them we would have fallen at the first hurdle and never recovered honestly sharon im nosey by nature but this is different and yes i care but if i can help i will do and as i found out im not afraid to cry or show my feelings anymore hugs and cuddles im off to be shown around cannock hospital where lin is due to go when the traci comes out when ?bye for now hugs and cuddles to you all xxxxxxxx ps jess the doctor did not bother to read the notes hence the doooooo you got to laugh otherwise you would cry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Hey Paul and Lin What a ****** farce - don't they make you just wanna scream - the notes are there to be read by the medical staff for goodness sakes!!! Hope you have a better day today and that the wonderful Lin carries on improving - tell her she's got to get better cos we want to have a knees up Sending love and hugs to you both Love Sami xoxoxoxox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Hey Paul Terrible isnt my 2 big files of medical notes went missing when I was in for my last angio between getting it done and before I left they couldnt find the files (they were huge) and wouldnt let me out makes you wanna tear your hair out Hope thing continue to improve Louise.x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted November 14, 2008 Author Share Posted November 14, 2008 hi everyone just got back mixed day today went to cannock and had a look around not impressed i like it at stafford but i know lins not going to get very much pyhio so cannock it will have to be maybe because its rehab and not a hospital per say but when ? lins traci comes out we will move hopefuly by next weekend fingers and toes crossed still waiting for ent to check lin out lin mixed signals today sometimes looked at me but most she was staring and i had to break the stare to get her focused on my ugly mug or let her drop off to sleep i hate fridays and the weekend thats for some unknown reason i go down problery because lin dosnt show any action if thats the right word i know ive had some during the week but the weekends lin goes quite i id rub her tummy today and i got that sultry look which gets me and a couple of tears from her right eye wether it was an act of delibrate or just normal i dont know but lin looked me in the eyes really deeply with what i know of look of love i just hope im not fooling myself the horrible thoughts crept in again this afternoon just wish i could block them lins chest seems better as well not produceing much phlem at all so maybe next week will see lin move just dont know got to downsize first lin still looks beautifull and god help her on the 25th im going to shove her over and give her the biggest cuddle and snog she has ever had ive got an excuse because she is 60 but i will get ballons which say 21 again and im going to hopefully go to town on her birthday and i have told her when she gets home there will a massive knees up and she will be the star of the day sami i did admit to the dr when she apoligised that we all makes mistakes me included to which she gave weak smile i do think she was extremly embaressed he he and sharon i hope you did what was suggested he he and you enjoyed it anyway thats all for tonight im off to bed with my bean bag and to cuddle lins pillow night night god bless from lin and me xxxxxxxxx ps good luck sammi for monday knock them in the isles go for it girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 Paul I hear Cannock is very good never been in though. Hope you and Lin have a much better day today. Jess.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 Hi Paul Hope you have a really good day with Lin...take care, love Tinaxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted November 15, 2008 Author Share Posted November 15, 2008 hi everyone not a happy bunny tonight lin wasnt playng today i didnt get any response today at all not even my double blink as the day went on i got more remorse and i had to leave early with tears in my eyes because i cant do anything to help lin except hold her hand and talk to her i dont think she even heard me todaysorry not a lot else to say tonight just want to go to bed and dream of better days night night god bless lin and me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 Just updated myself and sorry to hear things have been up and down over the last few days.Keep your chin up though I imagine you must be fed up with trying to do that. Isn't it just hard? Elaine xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 Paul sorry you have had a bad day however there are gonna be plenty of those Lin is recovering there will be good days bad days excellent days and really s**t days. Please stay strong for her and for yourself. Jess.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mojojojo Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 Hiya Paul, Remember you said it was ok to cry so go right ahead when you have bad days.... I did as you said and you know what i had a good night out with the girls. Bad or good days again she know's you are there and thats worth all the money in the world. Sending you a cuddle Sharon xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted November 16, 2008 Author Share Posted November 16, 2008 hi everyone just got back had a nice day with lin done her a full pedicure and got my double blink today and she looked at me with those eyes sent shivers down my back i know the rollercoaster ride has been bad but after so long i still cant get used to it but lin looked as beautifull as ever today and it felt nice ust to be with her and get a response thank you all for your messages it helps during the down time bless you love from lin and me xxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 Hi Paul So pleased you have had a lovely response today....hope tomorrow is a good day to for you both. Take care Love Tina xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Paul that is great news so pleased you had a good day yesterday. Jess.xxx Hope today is good aswell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mojojojo Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Hello Paul Always nice to hear that your day as gone well. Makes me smile. Hope today was a lovely day for you too. Sharon x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted November 17, 2008 Author Share Posted November 17, 2008 hi everyone mixed day today got in nice and early to see lin and the dr lin was tired didnt understand why untill one of the nurses told me lin had been sitting in the chair untill 12 30 then was put back to bed just before i got in that explained it i brushed her arm and she woke up got a lovely look before she dozed off again unill 2 30 when the phyisos turned up with the tilt table first time i have seen it since god knows when i helped get her on to the table and strapped her down and they started to bring her upright and what a picture lin looked stunning i even got a cuddle at the end lin had an hour upright untill she found it too much and her head started to drop then we had to put her back to bed but we did get some nuero excerises done in between but it really did knock her out will ask karen to replace the present picture of lin and get one with her upright on the tilt table tommorow even though i love the present picture you derserve to see lin now still no response from ent as to when traci will be downsized hopefully will find out tommorow dr wasnt in today i have also been doing a lot of thinking about lin and myself and i have accepted that if this is all lin is going to be able to do then i would like her home so we can be together and anything else is a bonus they are talking of up to two years in cannock for rehab as an inpatient but im thinking if after six months if there is NO sigificant improvement i would like their support to bring her home and attend two or three days a week for phyios as a day patient which is what they have said would be on offer i would like to ask you for your thoughts if you dont mind am i being selfish or am i being realistic yes i would like her home but i must think of lin im thinking with my work head on i would of cause love lin to be able to be as near as normal as possible but also relistic that lin may never recover fully or at all but i would like your thoughts i am not writing lin off but trying to be realistic or am i being selfish thats all for tonight love from lin and me xxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MUTTI Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 HI PAUL I DON'T FEEL THAT YOU ARE BEING SELFISH AND I THINK BY GIVING YOURSELF SIX MONTHS TO SEE HOW THINGS DEVELOPE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A GOOD IDEA WHAT IF ANY PROGRESS THAT LIN WILL MAKE BUT DO STAY REALISTIC ABOUT IT, IT WILL BE A LOT FOR YOU TO DEAL WITH AND YOU WILL NEED SOME HELP. IT WAS EXHAUSTING FOR MY FAMILY AND I DID NOT HAVE IT AS ROUGH AS LIN. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL HUSBAND AND LIN IS VERY LUCKY TO HAVE YOU TO TAKE CARE OF HER, BUT DO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF ASWELL. LOVE AND PRAYERS AND ALL THE WELL WISHES I CAN SEND EVELYN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Beth1957 Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Evelyn has said what I was going to say Love to you & Lin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Hi Paul no you are not being selfish not at all. Hope you have a great day with Lin today mind expect she will sleep most of it she had a very busy day yesterday. Take of yourself. Jess.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mojojojo Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Hiya Paul, Hiya Paul, your not being selfish in wanting Lin with you ..not by any means, i would want the very same, you have to give her the 6 months in Cannock and see how things develope, there may be a remarkable change. You will know your limits mentally and physically as a carer, and you make sure that you get 100% support when you make that decision to bring Lin home. Your forever telling me to take care off myself so ultimatelty it is important you take care of yourself and be your stong for Lin. Sharon xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Hi Paul No you are not being selfish.....the others have said it all.......hope you have a really good day with Lin. Take care Love Tinaxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Hi Paul Like the others No I dont think your being sellfish, your setting a goal and see what things are like then, I found rehab helped me a hell of a lot....I was both in patient and as out patient. But from my view of being in the rehab hospital, I also think that its a great pressure on yourself if you brought Lin home permantly to care for her it really takes a lot not just love, I know we all think hey no probs but reality its tough. I hope I havent overstepped the mark there seen someone doing just that so know.....take care Louise.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelle C Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Hi Paul, Sorry i didnt reply to pm yesterdays. Sounds like lin had a pretty busy day yesterday, well done lin and you. I know you want lin home with you, everyones the same and you are not being selfish at all. lin seems to be making the right progress time is a healer and i think you are being realistic and very strong. Sending you and lin love and hugs and heres to another good day. Michelle C xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ElaineW Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 What can I say Paul that others haven't. It's no wonder you want Lin home and only time will tell how you manage. Grab all help with both hands though and don't forget you need rest as well. You must look after yourself to look after Lin. Hope your next few days are better ones. Elaine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted November 18, 2008 Author Share Posted November 18, 2008 hi everyone just got back had a peacefull day got my looks that i miss so much in between lin dozing on and off lin was in the chair for 4 hours today and was put back to bed at 1-15 had a doze but when i touched her arms lightly brushing she opened her eyes and gave me that look all over again boy does it do things to me shivers and goose bumps other than that it was beautifull just to sit with her and touch and carress no dr today hopefully thursday now before i get to see him got a lot of electrical activity today fom her right hand and at times if i tried to lift my hand from her grasp i felt her clamp onto my hand electrical or not it felt nice thank you all for your messages of support i know it will be hard but being able to look after lin would be a privilige and with the help being talked about at the moment by the enablement women sally it seems that they local pct will be supporting lin and me a great deal at the moment i am putting my work hat on and reviewing everything i can including the pitfalls and pros and cons i remember how it felt looking after my ex father in law who suffered cancer and refused all treatment untill i came home from the gulf i nursed him for 6 months 24/7 i moved in and cared for him and i know how i felt after he passed away i was shattered to say the least but he insisted i looked after him so i did then there was no backup except for the gp who was very good he even offered me a job in palitive care to which i refused with thanks but lin is the love of my life and i intend to try and carry on as normal as possible getting her up and dressing and going out touring all the shops we planned to do before she collapsed i know she would love to carry on abit in a wheelchair and with the support that seems to be on offer im going to take full advantage of it i know lin wouldnt want to stay indoors she likes to be out and about mostly on saturdays otherwise like when she was well she got the hump if she couldnt get out into the fresh air and go around the shops and window shop not nessaryly spend money but she did like to get out and tour around and i must admit why shouldnt we carry on like that thats what i would wish but in time these things will be sorted out when ? i get her home well thats what i would like to try and get back to as normal as possible for her sake as well as mine and maybe it will stimulate her as well sorry for going on tonight but i love lin so so much and cant imagine life without her night night god bless hugs and cuddles lin and me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MUTTI Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 HI PAUL I AM GLAD TO SEE YOU ARE IN GOOD SPIRIT AND THAT IT WAS A GOOD DAY FOR YOU AND LIN. KEEP SMILING AND TAKE CARE LUVE AND HUGS EVELYN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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