What do you want from life

[Carl]

I don't know about you but one of my biggest frustrations is lack of self motivation.

I was searching for motivational ideas online and came upon this phrase "What do you want from life"

If you were to ask me 2 years ago my response would be completely different from today.

The honest truth is I don't think I can answer that question. I think the closest thing to an answer for me would be "Clarity"

Yes I want the headaches to stop and the sleep to go back to normal and I want to get my gumption back but most of all I think I want clarity. I want to be aware of who I have become. I do notice the subtle changes in my friends, or maybe I perceive them.

The website had lots of things to think about 71 things actually. just google the phrase.

Maybe what I really want is a banana split......nope it is clarity.

[DawnS]

Hiya Carl,

this is a difficult one, though very interesting. I am scared that my life will go back to exactly what it was before the sah. I really don't want that at all and now that I've gone back to work, I can see that it's easily possible.

So, I am spending a lot of energy and thought on trying to shift my perceptions. I cannot let work grind me down back to the low and unhappy person I was. I must see it as a means to and end and nothing more.

My plan is to get back to full time hours and if that goes well, to look for another job. Right now, I cannot picture trying to 'sell myself' in an interview but perhaps this will come in time. A lot of things that were missing are coming back gradually - I have a little more logic and some of my problem solving skills are re-appearing.

I have set myself a time limit of 12 months after I go full time (November) in which to be out of my current place unless something changes drastically there of course, like my wages doubling for half the hours

[Super Mario]

"What do you want from life?"

In one respect the SAH did me a favour, that is how I look at it. It got me medical retirement with my pension enhanced from a job that I loved but in an enviroment that was steadily getting worse and I know that in future years I would have hated being in my place of work and I was too old to get another position plus I had my pension to think of.

The SAH taught me a hard lesson, there is more to life than work, work, work and more work with little time for leisure.

I now want from life to be able to live it to the full, doing what I want to do, when I want to do it and enjoying it.

That is why now, at my own choosing, I do plenty of voluntary work which I thoroughly enjoy and travel lots visiting all the places I have wanted to see for years. Sadly because of the disability that the SAH left me with means that often I can't investigate these places as fully as I would have in the past, but at least I get there and see what I can manage.

I do realise that not everyone can afford to be in my position and that my life may seem like a dream to them.

I have turned the negative into a positive.

[Gill C]

Carl it really is a hard one!!

I worked part time before my sah & it suited me to be home with Nath & not working all the hours God sends but it did stress me out more than it should have.

I want to work again but I think this time I need to give something back. I want to work for my own sense of self & to have a little spending money. I want to carry on with my card making & maybe set up a crafting circle to meet some like minded people.

Ideally I would want more energy & less fatigue, that has had the greatest impact on my life & changed it in more ways than I would have thought possible. Its far better now than it was a year ago but its nowhere near where it used to be.

I'm very fortunate that I don't suffer badly with headaches & although I have been left with permanent damage to the nerves in my right eye I am so grateful to be as well as I am.

Happiness is such an ephemeral thing but I would like to be happy , I'm mostly there but working again would be my aim at the moment

[amexdm]

Hi Carl,

I think the only thing I want is health. Without that, not much else I can do. My father once told me without your health you are no good to your wife, family, or employer. I feel that with better health the rest of my life would fall in to place and I could become a better husband, friend, brother, uncle and worker. Right now, I'm only good at accomplishing one thing: Work.

David

[jess]

What I want from life :-

My kids to be happy and healthy and to NEVER have to go through any serious illnesses especially at a young age cause I don't really want or need anything for me I have my children and I am happy. Jess.xxx

[MaryB]

I would like health- of course I want everyone to have health but this is only about us wanting for us. If not health I want alot of money. Like millions, never did before but now I can see what I a difference I can make in the lifes of many. I would make randon acts of kindness everyday that would make a big difference in someones life. So if I can;'t have health give me wealth!!!!!!!!!

[goldfish.girl]

That is such a good question Carl. One that I have asked myself a lot recently.

I want all the obvious things like the pain & tiredness to go away, my boys to be healthy and happy & to not have to worry about money. Like Penny (kind of) I am lucky that I have a medical pension BUT it only covers my rent & council tax with none left over so money is still a worry and always will be unless I am ever well enough to work properly again.

Aside from those obvious 'wants' what I really, really want is a house next to the sea just in case I ever lose my right to drive again (even with it, I am not always well enough or energetic enough to go there everyday). That would make me happy, honestly. I do not ever want to return to the stressed out life I had before SAH and living without needing to be well enough to earn plentiful money but close enough to hear & walk to the sea every day would be my absolute dream.

Perhaps a small handful of genuine friends to share that with would make that lifestyle perfect.

Michelle x

[cathmat]

If i could have anything i would have my old life back , as fast as it was and stressful looking back i loved the old me .one thing this has taught me not to take anything for granted.Above all i want to be settled, happy and contented not constantly searching for the better me ! Oh and a lottery win would be nice lol

[SarahLou]

"What do you want from life?"

I want my tomorrows.

SarahLou Xx

[MaryB]

If I had money I would buy Michelle the beach house ( one for me as well), I would make sure that people would have the small or big things that woudl help them cope with their situation. Yep, it would be money after much more thought. I am not afraid of not being here but if I cannot have my health - it would be money to make a difference.

Edited September 6, 2012 by MaryB

[jess]

As silly as this may sound to some but I certainly wouldn't want my old life back because back then I didn't want children and look at my two boys and the only reason I had Garry was because a midwife told me I could not and I thought yes I can and I proved them all wrong and now you are not advised to wait 12 months anymore only 6 and that is partly because of all the questionaires I filled in whilst I was pregnant so who knows without me people may still be being advised differently lol. Jess.xxx

[Skippy]

I'm with Mary on this one. Money, so that I can help family and friends with financial difficulty and make random acts of kindess.

I'm happy with my new life, if I had my old one I woudn't have the very close friends that I have made on here.

[Sandi K]

Carl, this is a great thread.

You've got me thinking.

Sandi K. Xoxoxo

[MaryB]

You know I just want to say the friends I have made on here some closer than other but all the same I feel as if you are my "new family". It is a blessing that this site was ever started and that we all can share our thoughts, feeling, frustrations and happy times. The bond the bind us is wonderful. Maybe I "love' you all more (LOL) but really it is great that we can be as raw & open as we can on here.

[jess]

There is that too Sami without the sah I wouldn't of found out who my real friends were and wouldn't ever of met all my new ones on here at home on my estate or anything. Jess.xxx

[Winb143]

Health and happiness , I have my friends on here and also my Family. Also a few bob wouldn't go amiss to pay mortgage ..

Oh yes money for a coffee out with pals/family.....you are included David xx

Love to All

WinB143

[amexdm]

Hello all:

Thanks Win, I shall have some orange mandarin tea perhaps. It's funny if you asked me before SAH I would have said health and happiness for my friends. Now I would say health but also money. It is just so hard to work with SAH that money would solve that issue. I would give most of it away as some have said thru random acts of kindness. I actaully do that even now, when I go downtown I will occasionally give a few bucks to a homeless person. I don't care if they're spending it on booze, they need two dollars more than I do. And I could could just as easily be homeless someday too.

Mary, I wonder if I am on the close or distant friend list. I can promise you if I win the lotto I would give money to each and one of my friends here at BTG so they wouldnt have to struggle like we all do to make it. We should create a pool like the factories do if someone wins. Safety in numbers.

What are you thinking Sandy??

Regards,

David

[kpaggett]

Carl,

Clarity slips through my hands as well. Sometimes I have it, then another strange symptom happens and the clarity is gone. One thing I've come to understand for me is that I am no longer suppose to be a 'Doing' person. I am a reflective mirror to people now. I'm not at all sure how this will play out...where's the clarity now?

My husband hasn't gotten paid in 6months. I don't work, but I can feel so abundant it's not funny especially when in meditation. I have what I want...life. What I will do with it is very uncertain right now. But, I've come to realize that that is OK and expected even. Has a future you ever thought about ever happened exactly as you planned? The joy of the moment is now and that's all that really matters. I've 'Done' everything I have to 'Do' before I die. I'm just grateful that I am joyfully alive. No motivation needed for that.

~Kris

[garyolly]

A new shiney bike

[winter]

Great thread! This question has been in my mind for a loooooooong time now.

I want happiness and peace and all that good stuff that most of us want.

After the last 2 1/2 years, I've become much more grateful for the things I do have - people that really care about me and have seen to it that I'm not out on the streets, I'm taken care of with much love from these folks - friends and family.

Money would be most helpful! For all the reasons you've all said. I never cared so much about money before, I had a job which allowed me to have a home, a car, and the things I needed. I never lived an extravagant lifestyle, but was content with what I had.

Now, those "things" are gone, and it hasn't been easy, but I'm still here. What I would really like is to be productive in society, independent enough not to have to rely on others, to be happy within myself, and be helpful in my community.

Oh yeah, would definitely like to be healthier!!! I'm learning each day what I'm capable of and where my limits are!

Haha, Gary - I would like a shiny new bike, too!

[Carl]

Seems we all want to be Healthy Wealthy and Wise.

I think we all evolve at a different rate, even more apparent after SAH. I still question myself on a daily basis, " What do I have to complain about, I don't have half the symptoms my friends on here have gone through"

Yet here I am. I guess that is the point. Here I am! I could have not made it, but I did.

There are days where my clarity returns, Kind of like a rocky outcropping exposed in a morning tide. Those are the days where I would love to help everyone. Those are the days where I could see myself as an advocate for others who have had SAH. I am always happiest when I am helping others.

Then there are the days where the fog rolled in LOL Everything is still there, just not quite sure where. Those are the days I need my family and friends.

Work is somewhere between the two. I am thankful I have a job that brings me the money but it is trying sometimes. I crave feedback one way or another from the employer. That is the clarity I need. The reassurance that things are going well.

I can here my supervisor now " What? You expect me to thank you and tell you good job just for doing what you get paid for? Not going to happen."

Well at least that is clear

[VanessaW]

Hello everyone,

I'd like my old life back, I had masses of energy and stamina, I was enjoying being a doctor (during my distinguished 3 and a half week career!), something I had wanted all my life and it's difficult not to be insanely angry about this event. It was hard work, it's a ridiculously hard job, but I was feeling in a short space of time that I was getting on top of it. Actually I'm not insanely angry, just a bit angry at the moment, because these things happen to people, and there's no reason I should be exempt. I am more concerned about what to do if I can't get back to being a doctor. I'm trying not to dwell on this possibility, but I accrued a £70K debt from putting myself through medical school, and as other members have said, money is an important consideration.

Oh well, deep breath, put it all to one side and concentrate on getting better and go buy a lottery ticket.

Vanessa

x

[Sandi K]

I'm almost 2 years post NASAH.

A year ago I would have said I want my life back. Meaning, I want to be back to work full time with the routine from before my head event. Making that regular paycheque, succeeding in my career, feeling like I had the world by the tail. Up at 5am everyday, like a racehorse at the gate. Organized, excited, enthusiastic, full of energy and interested in everything.

6 months ago I would have said I just want to feel well. I just want enough energy to pry myself to a standing position on my off time. I was only working part time and all my energy was spent just getting through those hours. It was bleak and I felt hopeless. There was no fun.

Now that I've been off for 4 months healing I'm spending my prescious energy learning how to conserve and pace. Learning what uses up my energy and brings on the symptoms of fatigue. I'm learning how to fit tasks into the day without overdoing it. I've got some medication to help rev me up and I'm learning how to best use that.

I would say I want everything out of life. I want balance between work and family and fun (risking sounding like a cliche!). I want to feel productive and successful and part of of team. I want to be close to family and able to spend time with them and not worry about how much energy I'm using with them. I want time to spend with friends so we can laugh and learn from each other. I want to 'just know' how much energy I have and not have to think so much about how to conserve so I don't knock myself over.

Sandi K.

[Carl]

Enlightenment and clarity, that is my new goal.

I talked to a spiritual friend today who suggested that perhaps my brain is looking for new ways to express what I need to express.

I like the thought.

I would like to use my experiences to help others any way I can.